News of the week

Usually, news seldom bring laughter… but this one might just change your perception… taken from here…

28 July 2009 – Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni has sought Malaysia’s assistance in tackling the problem of corruption besetting the east African nation.

Malaysian Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said the president expressed his concern over the problem, which affected not only Uganda but also its neighbours in Africa, during the discussion at the ongoing Global Smart Partnership dialogue, here.

“In our session with heads of government earlier, I had the chance to discuss with them what has been done in Uganda and the President’s vision is to find a way to overcome the corruption problem”

“In fact, the president wanted our views on how to get rid of corruption. Many heads of government gave similar views because corruption is a universal problem,” he told Malaysian journalists covering the dialogue here Monday.

Muhyiddin was among the heads of government attending the 3 day dialogue, themed “Towards a Smarter Globe: The Smart Partnership Way For Realising Socio-economic Transformation Through Regional Integration.”

The dialogue is organised by the Commonwealth Partnership for Technology Management (CPTM) together with the host government. Previous dialogues had been held in Malaysia, Eastern Africa (Uganda), Southern Africa (Botswana, Namibia, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Swaziland, Lesotho and Zambia, and the Caribbean (Barbados).

(Zewt got curious and googled this CPTM and found the homepage. Checkout the member countries)

Muhyiddin said that almost all the participating nations gave backgrounds of information on corruption.

“We, together with (former prime minister) Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad and other leaders discussed how to address the problem. We shared our experience on how to do it the Malaysian way”

“What is important is for the people to realise the danger of corruption so that it will be seen as a disgusting practice,” he said.

Sharing the success stories of the Malaysian-Anti Corruption Commission (MACC), Muhyiddin said Malaysia was trying its best to put a stop to the problem.

“We just share knowledge, they don’t have to follow us,” he added.


Yes, some of us may laugh and perhaps give a few cynical remarks and ridicule this *can someone please suggest an adjective* article. But if we are to sit down and ponder on the bigger picture, it can quite a horrifying sight.

But since it’s Friday and weekend is here… let us just laugh… for the time being…


1 year ago… Live your best life

2 years ago… We really deserve it… Confession of a brave soul

Hectic!

Yes, that’s the word of the day. I have never been so been so busy for the longest time. Loads of e-mails… calls from as early as 8.30am and before I can even finish my first mug of water, it’s already lunch time.

After a quick lunch, a couple of meetings… conference calls… this and that and before I knew it… it’s already 5.40pm! What the… !!!

The main reason for this incredibly busy-ness is that I am currently involved in a highly confidential project. Information kept changing and my comments and advice had to be constantly revised, it’s really driving me crazy. But, it’s good experience. This is going to give a big boost for my CV.

Plenty to share about this project but since it is highly confidential; I can’t talk about it here… not yet. But like I said, plenty to talk about it after it is completed.

As for now, I just have to comply with the hectic game.

I need to catch up on my lack of fluid now…


1 year ago… Who thou seeketh in thy sadness?

I absolutely definitely surely will believe

Wow! This is getting exciting! Do you know that a new blog by the name of “Truth for Teoh Beng Hock” is in town? The owner of the blog is unknown but he/she is claiming that the Teoh was killed by his own party… DAP!

The “reasoning” is that Teoh was about to expose the “massive” corruption in the Selangor PR govt but DAP somehow managed to get to him first before he can said anything. Don’t play-play, there are even scanned documents in that blog for your reading pleasure.

Do I believe this blog? Hmmmm… let’s see… let’s digest this to see if I get it right.

That blog is saying that while Teoh was being interrogated for more than 10 hours in the MACC building, DAP somehow managed to send in some high level assassin. Not only that, these assassins killed Teoh and got out without MACC’s knowledge. Wow… don’t mess with DAP, they have a few Jason Bourne(s) up their sleeve.

Oh wait… maybe… the MACC is actually working for DAP! Ahhhh… it all makes sense now. That’s why MACC never investigate Khir Toyo. Remember how Khir agreed to pay some DAP MP if his mansion can be sold for some tens of millions? Actually right… they “pakat” already. That’s why lah… DAP ordered the MACC not to investigate Khir Toyo, so that DAP can get the commission.

Gee… it’s just so clear now isn’t it?

Wow! Now I think DAP has been planning the demise of Anwar! You know why?

The last time Anwar “failed to turn up” for some questioning, the govt sent almost the entire police force to arrest him. But now right, with evidence of “massive” corruption in DAP, the entire police and army plus a few MIG 29s should have been deployed to bust DAP’s ass! But that didn’t happen!

Oh no!!! You know why?... DAP is in control of the police and army too! How come I didn’t see it earlier! Damn it! They are the bastards who ordered the arrest of Anwar ala special task force fashion. Damn you DAP!

I am really mad now. I feel so stupid! And because of this, I am going to believe whatever scanned documents in that blog. Doesn’t matter even if those documents are plain word document or excel sheet with no signature or whatsoever. It doesn’t matter because clearly, DAP is at fault.

Those of you who are demanding DAP for an answer. Yes, here I come to join your force! Let’s forget about getting an answer from the govt, let us just focus on getting an answer from DAP. Yes, that’s right... !

Yes, because of this one blog, I now believe that DAP is evil.


1 year ago… 5 reasons we won’t be nuke-d… Wrong and again I was wrong… A candle epic

2 years ago… The sponge and the dirty spoon… We probably deserve it… More but less…

Just a thought

I was thinking…

If I die an unexplained death… a day before I was to be legally married to the love of my life… who happened to be also mothering my child… and all my loved ones are angry and grieving my death… and that I am a person who walk to the talk as I have decided to commit my career for a political course unlike so many others who only know how to talk and do nothing…

Considering the above…

Would I prefer to be left alone since I am already dead? Would I prefer to hear the “let him rest in peace lah” responses and be forgotten by the time people eat their nasi-lemak / bak-kut-teh next week?

Or…

Would I be adamant that those who are still capable of doing something will get to the bottom of things and that I will never rest “in peace” till truth prevails?

I wonder…

Migration: A case of running from something, or running towards something

Warning: Relatively long read…

I have always wanted to blog about this topic but somehow, never got around writing it. However, after such an eventful week, I guess the time is right to finally pen my thoughts.

Migration, moving to what is perceived as the greener pasture, is a dream to some. But at the same time, it has its fair share of critics. And, it also boasts of a relatively worrying amount of “failed attempts”, forcing some to return to their original country with less money, and wasted time. It is a daunting thought.

In my zewtpinion (wow, it has a long time since I said that), one has to objectively establish one’s true intention in making this leap of faith. To really see whether migrating is a wise or foolish decision, one has to ascertain whether one is running from something, or one is running towards something.

Impartially speaking, the critics are right. No one can confidently say that one will definitely be stepping foot on “greener” pasture. “That country is also racist”… “You will be a second-class citizen there”… “You think they don’t have such problem there?”… such are the usual rhetoric. In all honestly, they are absolutely true.

Hence, here is where I am of the zewtpinion that if you are migrating to run away from something, be it racism, marginalisation, corruption, inequality or outright brutality, then you are most probably going to hit a hard wall. These evil realities of our human race are everywhere. Perhaps the magnitude may not be as high, but they will be there nonetheless.

Therefore, if you are leaving this country simply because you want to run away from “things happening here” (I do not need to list them, I am sure you know what are they); your migration plan will most probably fail. And a typical Malaysian critic will deem that you will also be running away from the wonderful nasi-lemak, char-kuey-teow, bak-kut-teh, mamak, etc. as if those things are the elixirs of life.

As such, the running-away route should not be your approach if you want to migrate. Instead, you should clearly establish what you are running towards, clearly identifying what are the things that you are seeking in the country you want to step foot on. And this is how I approach my migration plan.

Most of you already know which country I plan to move to. While I may not entirely run away from the ruckus that is happening here, I know I will be able to find the things that I seek in that land. And the things that I seek include…

People and govt work hand in hand for the preservation of the environment.
A police force that I can trust.
A public medical service (though slow), that I can trust.
Measures or projects implemented by the govt that actually work.
Qualified and accountable ministers, where a slight indication of any mistakes or abuse of power, the minister will most probably resign.
Very much less pressure to save like hell for my children’s education.
With good grades, entry into world class university for my children is almost guaranteed.
Fresher and cleaner air most of the time.
At 6 p.m. on a weekday, chances are my boss will ask me to go home instead of asking me to attend a meeting… which will be held at 7pm.
Confidence in public administration and almost everything else --- this is a very interesting point and will be explained greatly in another post.
Newly added – knowing that the sanctity of my religion will not be ridiculed.

If I am to sit down and think further, I will probably add more to the list. But I guess you know where I am getting at. In effect, you should not be migrating to run away from problems. Rather, you should migrate to seek for solution. And to achieve this, one must then exercise discernment as to where one wants to migrate. One should be certain that one will be able to find what you are seeking in the land you are going to step foot in.

There are however, some cases where people move to another country to run away from unhealthy emotional attachment or unpleasant emotional memories. Perhaps in those situations, such running-away acts may be justifiable. But that is not the notion here. And even that, such may also be cases of people seeking better memories.

And no doubt, there are other factors to consider such as availability of jobs and genuine inability to adapt, which is indeed, very real. And that is probably why I am still here, the issue on availability of jobs. But once one has addressed this issue, one can then do a running from vs. running to reflection.

In all honestly, there are some elements of “running-away” in my case, but not because of what is happening now but rather of what I think could happen in the future. This is a result of knowing too many things, things that I can't really share. Perhaps that is a story for another day.

Last but not least; yes, you will forever be a second-class citizen. But I would rather be a second-class citizen in a place where I can enjoy most, if not all of the public benefits; than to be a first class citizen here and… well, let just not go there…


1 year ago… We just can’t do it

J-S-J-T

I think this is an appropriate time for me to teach you another Chinese saying. Apart from the 2 that I have mentioned thus far, this is quite a mouthful. And the saying of the day is…

“Jek Sau Jeh Tin”
[Direct translation: One hand shelter sky / satu tangan lindung (dari) langit]

Ancient Chinese (and perhaps some modern Chinese) believe that the sky (i.e. Tin) represents the ultimate power / judgement. So if you only need one hand to shelter yourself from this “ultimate power / judgement”… you must be an incredibly extra-ordinary individual.

Reasoning and history aside, “Jek Sau Jeh Tin” predominantly represents invincibility. If you are said to be able to “Jek Sau Jeh Tin”, it means you are able to do whatever you want because no one, not even “the sky”, can touch you. It is a “very nice” position to be in.

For example, if you own a company, you can safely say that you can “Jek Sau Jeh Tin” in the company. You can come in late, you can go for 3 hour lunch, you can watch porn in the office or even disappear from the office and no one can do anything to you… because you have ultimate control of the company.

Similarly...

If you live in a land where you are in control of everything, then you can also “Jek Sau Jeh Tin”. You can cheat and you can lie, and no one will be able to do anything. Not just that, you can also steal… rape or even… kill, and no one will be able to do anything about it.

And just to link to the 2 Chinese saying I have mentioned in the past…

All those things that you conjure up to challenge those who can Jek Sau Jeh Tin are all… “Doh Yu”. You seriously think you get something out of it?... Sam Jiu lah…


1 year ago… Tahap yang mana?

2 years ago… A locker tale

Now that I am calmer...

I am sure many will agree that it has been an overly eventful week. And I am not just referring to the tragic death of Teoh Beng Hock. I am also referring to the so-called “investigative journalism” incident. Anyone not aware of that?

Amidst all that, I have drafted a very angry and emotional post which I had the intention to publish it today. I reckon if I do post it up, I will most probably land myself in trouble. And judging by the looks of things, I might end up dead.

I am glad that I went to church today, that sermon helped calm me down. One thing for sure, my Pastor said that the bible did say… “Be angry, but do not sin”. This means Christians should feel angry and not be overly infected with the I-am-a-Christian-and-so-I-must-not-be-angry syndrome.

So I am not going to post up what I drafted. But I just want to highlight the state of hopeless-ness in our country. When I talked to some people regarding the “highlight” of last week, I was given such responses/comments:-

“I don’t talk politics”

“Khalid should answer to this” --- referring to the Selangor MB because the incident happened in Selangor, and that he should be responsible. What the fuck!!!!!! WHAT! THE! FUCK!

And the mother of all responses…

“Aiyah, even if you are in another country. A car may hit you, a plane might crash into your home, you can still die”. --- SERIOUSLY!!???? SE-RIOUS-LY!!!!!

Looking back, I realise I should not feel angry and overly emotional. With so many people with the above sentiments, this country deserves to be what it is today. After I have calmed myself down, I should just concentrate with my plan and no feeling about the rest.


1 year ago… Counselling at the mamak

2 years ago… Those auto messages

Why English is truly “UNIVERSE”-sal

The broo-hah regarding English being the language for certain subjects is still on-going. Riding on that notion, allow me to share with you why English is truly a “Universe”-sal language…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
… because when English is never meant to be spoken… it is spoken…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
… like…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
Spock!!!When Spock addresses the Vulcan council, he spoke in English. A race so advance and intelligent like the Vulcans decided that they should speak… English!

The Romulans… Their spaceship captain also has an English name… Captain Neo! And you would expect he would have a Romulan name… no… it’s Neo!

Megatron!!! When he flew up to space to converse with “The Fallen”, with no humans around… they chose to speak in…yes, you guessed it right… English!

Treebeard!!! Just when you think only flesh and blood (red or green) speaks English… think again… Even tree speaks English!

Yes… long ago, in a galaxy, far far away… and mind you, they were already speaking in… yes, English! And clearly, the English language was still at its infant stage… as you can tell from Yoda’s grammar…

So, do you believe now that English is indeed a “Unverse”-sal language?


1 year ago… The arrest and losing my premier virginity…

2 years ago… And to sum it all up…

Inter“net”esting

A friend of mine went for a talk by the head of strategy of a local conglomerate and came back with some very interesting points…

The bandwidth usage increased 10 folds in the last couple of years. No, it was not due to blogs. It’s due to facebook and youtube.

Malaysia ranks amongst the world’s top 3 countries for having the most Friendster users.

If you think the KL-ites and the PJ-ians contributed to this, think again. In Malaysia, the top state in terms of the most Friendster users is Pahang, followed by Sabah.

I will not be surprise if Malaysia ranks amongst the world’s top countries for facebook user based on percentage of population. Does it tell you anything?

Please scold your parents

“Nowadays, my daughter will raise her voice and scold me!” my big boss said.
“Yeah, my son also did the same thing to me” my second big boss continued.

I was standing right next to them and intentionally blurted…”Serve your right”

As assertive as I am, you must be thinking that I have just committed a career suicide. Well, not entirely accurate.

The notion of that day was “usage of plastic bag”. Both the big bosses were talking about how they return with plastic bags after buying groceries of other stuff and their children will be screaming at them.

If you think that the “scolding” was made in a friendly tone, think again. Apparently, their children were seriously giving their parents (i.e. my big bosses) a piece of their mind, citing reasons such as --- all the money earned by the parents will not compensate for the damaged world that the parents will leave behind for them.

This is not the first time I heard of such incidents.

I was in a posh Italian restaurant last year when I overheard a similar conversation. The father was telling the daughter that using paper instead of styrofoam cups is expensive while using the cutleries in the house instead of plastic cutleries is inconvenient. I assume the topic then was some private party.

The next thing I heard was the daughter saying…rather loudly… “Dad, you are so freaking rich. What’s wrong with spending more for paper cups? And we have enough maids to clean the cutleries. Please think about the environment which affects us, the next generation”

You know what is the best thing about all these?

The freaking-rich-dad and the 2 bosses (who are also very rich) are all loving parents and hence, they all agreed to change their habit. I am not sure whether the freaking-rich-dad did use paper cups and house cutleries, but I can tell you that the 2 bosses are seriously reminding themselves to bring their own environmental bags when they go groceries shopping.

So… what are you waiting for?

1 year ago… Rich-ology

2 years ago… Debit affluence, credit conscience… Ponder and find the peculiar time

The new look

Do you think you will recognise me if you walk pass me in public?

What do you think?

Manglish or Engrish or ... whatever

For some very strange reason, I can log on to blogger though my office has blocked blogpost for a couple of weeks. So I am now in a bizarre situation where I can blog from my blogger home page but unable to view my blogspot page... bizarre isn’t it?

Anyway…

There are a lot of hoo-haas going around about some decision where some subjects in some school at some level will now be taught in BM instead of English. I am not going to blog about it, at least not in a serious manner. It’s Friday and I don’t want to stress my brain.

But speaking about the command of English, did you watch the repeat of MJ’s memorial service on Wednesday night, shown on 8TV?

For the uninformed, 8TV was having this thing where one can sms your farewell note to MJ to 8TV and it will broadcasted on 8TV during the memorial. And ya’ know, all the sms-es were written in English… errr… I mean… Engrish, or Mangrish (or whatever you want to call it).

And there they were… farewell notes to MJ… displayed on national television… written by people whose country is still thinking on whether English should be a compulsory “pass” in SPM… atrocious would be an understatement.

But the gem of them all has to be… “Mecheal Jakson, I am u biggest fan. I will miss u”

I seriously wonder if MJ does understand most notes posted there.

And ya’ know what? During Madonna’s memorial service (no offence, just an example), Malaysians will be sending messages like…

“Maradona, I am u biggest fan. I will miss u”


1 year ago… Teens raised dead baby in Guatemala… Gym tales – female version

2 years ago… Orgasm comparison

Do you know you work for the bank?

I think many of us are aware that banks make profit by charging you interest on your borrowings. Those lacking self-control on credit card spending will know exactly what I mean. But do you know how exactly does it work?

Banking operations are highly complex. There are many way a bank can make profit but for today, let us just focus on loans. And as always, let me put it in a very simple manner…

Let’s say there is this bank, called Z-Bank. In this bank, 100 depositors place fixed deposit of $50,000 each, totalling $5m. If Z-Bank just keeps the money, they will have to pay the customers interest which is a cost. Naturally, Z-Bank will take this $5m and lend to others to make profit.

Let’s say the entire $5m is then lent to John to buy a house and John said he will repay the loan in 30 years, which is a common tenure for a home loan. Let’s say John begins to pay mortgages from the first year and the amount paid by him on the first year was $300,000.

For those who have no idea about home loan; the answer is yes, the total amount that you need to repay to the bank after the entire tenure is very likely to be almost double (or more) of the original amount borrowed by you, depending on the interest rate. In this case, John will need to repay $9m in 30 years to Z-Bank. That’s life…

Now, under recognised accounting principle, Z-Bank will need to segregate the $300,000 into principal and interest. Principal refers to the original $5m lent out to John and interest refers to Z-Bank’s income. The exact splitting mechanism is complicated, but I am not exaggerating when I say that the interest portion recognised as income in the $300,000 paid by John could be as high as $250,000, thanks to accounting principle.

From this “income” of $250,000, let’s say Z-Bank pay interest to the 100 depositors and other costs amounting to $150,000. This means there is a profit of $100,000! From this $100,000, the bankers will declare that they make huge profit and pay bonuses.

But wait, let us take a step back…

A total of $5,000,000 was lent out. Only $300,000 was collected. Z-Bank has not even recover 10% of the money lent out, how can it declare that it has made a profit and started paying huge salary and bonuses?

Well my friend, the banks have been doing this for years. And if you seriously think accountants are square, think again! Mind you, if John goes bankrupt and fails to pay the balance $4.7m, it is the govt who guarantees the deposits that will have to pay the money back to the depositors, not those who have taken profits.

Have you ever heard of the saying… “We all work for the bank”? It simply means…

You work and with your salary, you pay your car and home loan, giving profits to the bank. After your spending, you place the balance in the bank as savings, giving more “principal” for the bank to make more profits. And if a bank goes bankrupt, the govt will save the bank by giving bail-out money; using that portion of your salary called… tax.

P/S: Some of you will probably comment… “Zewt, does that mean we shouldn’t place our money in the bank anymore?” My answer will be… This post is to enlighten you on some knowledge of life, not telling you what and what not to do.

1 year ago… 5 things I failed to fathom… A change in dominant language

That 10 + 5 that you pay

I realised a lot of people are actually quite confused about that additional “++” that you pay when you eat at a restaurant. The general understanding is that they are “govt tax”. But do you really know what exactly it is that you are paying for? Allow me to enlighten you.

The “++” is made up of 2 components.

The first component is “service charge”, usually at 10%. This is NOT a tax. In fact, there is actually no law to say that you must pay this amount. This additional 10% is what the restaurants charge you for the service you receive, namely; taking of your order, laying the towel on your lap, replenishing your water, recommending dishes to you, making you stand on the chair as the birthday song is sung to you, etc.

One should ask, does the additional 10% that you pay match the service that you receive? How many times have we been served by foreign waiters who have no idea of the dishes being served? Some can hardly pronounce the dishes in the menu.

There was once I was at this quite up-class restaurant and we asked the waiter whether this particular dish has got cheese, she just stared blankly at us. When we repeated our questions, her reply was … “I from Myanmar”. This is quite an up-class restaurant which charged us 10% of the bill for such service.

In effect, this 10% is to cover the restaurants’ labour cost in employing waiters to serve you. But you and I know that these labour costs have already been factored into the price of the dishes. Top that up with the I-from-Myanmar type of service, this 10% can be quite a rip-off. But then again, we are rich Malaysians who make a lot of money and since it’s for food, we just pay without asking.

The second component is “service tax”, at 5%. This IS tax. You are legally obligated to pay this under the Service Tax Act, 1975. And here is something you should know…

Previously, restaurants located outside hotels with an annual turnover (i.e. revenue, not profit) of RM300,000 are required to be licensed and collect this 5% service tax from their customers. Effective 1 July 2008, the threshold of RM300,000 was increased to RM3m. [Source: Service Tax (Amendments) Regulations 2008 – PU(A) 216/2008]

This effectively means for restaurants located outside hotel, only those with an annual turnover of RM3m should be charging service tax. So what if you happened to eat at a restaurant which you don’t think is making RM3m in turnover per annum and you are made to pay this 5% service tax?

Well, chances are this restaurant was licensed under the old rule (i.e. RM300,000 threshold) and lazy to go to the Customs and revoke its service tax licence. Since the people paying the additional 5% are you and me, these business people just couldn’t be bothered.

But all if not lost as you can put in a complain at the Customs if you seriously think a particular restaurant not making RM3m a year is charging 5% service tax. One thing though, don’t judge a restaurant by its set up. There are some very old looking coffee shops making millions every year.

And remember, you can only make a complaint if it’s service tax and not service charge. I hope you all have an idea on what’s the difference by now.

3 Jackson lessons

I am not exactly a fan so when I was told about his death, I was not overwhelmed with sorrow. No doubt, he was, and still is the best performer of his generation. But he also gave me the impression that he is somewhat a freak. One my Mom used to term as “yan em chi yan, gwai em chi kwai”, translated as “doesn’t look like human yet doesn’t look like ghost.

But after his death, many, including myself got to read more about his life. And, having seen a documentary about his lifetime, I actually felt quite sad for him. Not for his death, but rather for the life he lived.

I think there are 3 crucial lessons that we can draw from his life, which eventually led to a tragic death.

Lesson 1

His life should serve as a warning to parents who are robbing their children of a normal childhood. For all his talent, MJ was never allowed to grow as a child, or experience the joy of a normal teenager. From the very beginning, all he got was grooming on how to be a good entertainer.

“Neverland”, a strong attachment with Peter Pan, private video clips of him acting like a child, dubbed as someone who is overly fragile… all point towards a man who missed being a child. So if you are one of those “kiasu” parents who are sending your child to school and tuition and then force them to learn a new language and learn piano and learn violin and learn sports and expect them to excel in every single thing… beware!

Lesson 2

My Mom was not alone, there are tonnes of other people who gave MJ all sorts of names. And I am sure many of us here have received a classic forwarded e-mail comparing MJ’s look to an ape. Fans and foes alike, we have all made a mockery of his life.

But now that he is dead… suddenly we only see the good things about him. Suddenly, everyone is a Michael Jackson’s biggest fan. Besides an overdose of typical human hypocrisy, I suppose we can all learn that in life, one will only be seen as a wonderful person when one is dead.

Lesson 3

MJ’s life is the perfect epitome of a famous theme in AZAIG… “Modern Slavery”. Though heavily in debt, several reports claimed that MJ never agreed to do 50 concerts. It was not him, but rather those who will profit most from his concerts that urged him to do 50. Some reports even claimed that he was threatened into doing it.

We may all stand on this side of his world and envy his superstar status, but it does not eliminate the fact that there was a strong element of “modern slavery”. If you are good at what you do, profit oriented corporations will just squeeze the life out of you in the name of money. Never fall in love with your employers.

For what is worth, I am glad he can finally have his eternal rest.

1 year ago… Do you have a sweaty chest?

2 years ago… KY (A+B+2C) + KY

Sex 101: Basic instructions are essential

Case 1

A couple for married and after 3 years of marriage, the wife still failed to conceive. They started talking to friends and exchange ideas on the timing and technique of performing the bedroom-deeds in order to improve the chance of getting a child. Despite all that, there was no result. Not even a hint of result.

Left with no choice, they decided to seek medical help. A fertility test on the husband showed that he was perfectly normal. But lo and behold, the doctor’s examination on the wife showed that she was… still a virgin!

Apparently, the effort to create new soul turned futile as the pole has been entering the wrong hole.

I know it’s bizarre but hey, did you read the news about this German guy who is suing his neighbour whom he employed to have sex with his wife because he failed to impregnate his wife? Like I said… anything is possible in this world…

Case 2

This case is real because it was relayed to me by the relative of the couple…

Quite the same thing… a couple got married and after a couple of years, the wife failed to conceive. In this case though, they were really shy and did not talk about their predicament with their friends. They decided to seek medical help immediately, which turned out to be a very wise decision.

The consultation started out normally with the usual what’s-your-problem question and as the doctor probed further asking how the couple has been performing in bed, the reply from the wife was…

“Buat apa? Kita tidur bersama-sama lah?” (Do what? We just sleep together.)

Apparently, this couple had absolutely no idea that a new soul can only be created when the pole enters the hole followed by an in-out motion which will lead to the production of a white lotion. They believe a child is born by merely sleeping together.

On hindsight, this couple produced a dozen children after the consultation.

1 year ago… A time travelling twist

2 years ago… The 6-months journey… transformers there, transforming here

P/S: Many thanks to iamthewitch for the Uber Amazing Blog Award. It’s always good to get awards :)