Of late, quite a number of people have mailed me, inquiring about Big 4 modern slavery world. The types of query vary, but there appears to be a common curiosity… what exactly does an auditor do? How does it work in those big firms?
In a nutshell, the auditor is to certify that the accounts of a company reflect the “true and fair view” of the company. Of course, it goes through quite a long process. Don’t get conned with the professional look and aura that they put up though.
Without going into a detailed description of their job scope, a very zewtified version of how auditors function…
Let’s say computers are the accounts…
The juniors are those doing the dirty work. Depending on the scale, they will check all the computers in the company and prepare a first level report. Let’s say there are 10 Dell computers, and they will report that to the seniors.
The seniors are supposed to do the first level review, and also highlight some basic issues such as “Do the computers have proper monitors?”, “Do the computers have proper mouse?” or “Are the computers functioning well?” Stuff like that. He/she will screw the junior for not checking it in the first round.
They will also do some casting check. 1 computer on the ground floor, 2 on the first floor, 5 on the 2nd floor and 2 on the top floor. So 1 + 2 + 5 + 2 = 10. There you go, junior did a good job. By the way, they use calculator for that. Report will be signed off and sent to the manager.
The manager will review and perhaps highlight some higher level issues such as “Are the computer system good enough for the working requirement” or “Why use all Dell computers? Why not try other brands?” Stuff like that. He/she will screw the senior for not being able to highlight this.
They will also do a reasonable test… there are 10 employees in the company, 10 computers. Right, it’s reasonable. He/she will sign off and send to the partner of the firm.
A partner being a partner, he/she is supposed to be all knowing and only highlight the super duper high level issues such as… “It’s risky to place all 5 computers on the 2nd floor. What if there is a fire? Should move them elsewhere to even out the risk”. He/she will probably screw the manager for not being able to pick this up.
And the partner will do an overall reasonable review… this is the information technology age, so companies having computers are normal.
There you go… “true and fair”!
2 years ago… Screwing for desire
3 years ago… Are you aware of its existence?
I am sure many will agree that our country tends to hit the limelight for the wrong reason. From burning of churches to statements by Australian MPs to bad coverage in recognised international media to purchase of non-dive-able submarine… certainly, this is not going to give our country a good image, no?
I observed one thing… the immediate reaction of people to this “bad image” is that, we will lose out on foreign investments. We-can-kiss-investors-goodbye… No-one-will-want-to-do-business-here… direct-foreign-investments-will-hit-another-low… such are the usual rhetoric.
Is it true? Will investors shy away from a country because the country has got a bad image?
No entirely accurate…
I am not saying that I am a high flying corporate figure with tonnes of business experience and information. But, being in an industry with a significant international dominance has given the opportunity to see that the decision for corporations to invest in a particular country depends on 2 major reasons…
Money… and… potential opportunity to make money…
The business world does not give a damn whether the country is burning churches or severed cow head is being dragged along the road or whether someone died because he was thrown out of a building. Honestly, they don’t give a shit about it.
All they care is whether there is avenue to make money. They will only be driven away if there is an interruption in their profit making mechanism. Really, it’s just as simple as that.
So next time, if you see some major international newspaper doing a coverage about so and so are being forced to admit so and so screwing his asshole or so and so asked “Can I fuck you today” or some submarines unable to dive thus putting the nation to massive embarrassment and you think this will affect foreign direct investments… thinking again…
What then, are the things that will severely damage the profit making mechanism and stop all these so called modern-colonial-power known as “investors” from coming here?
Well, why don’t you do some thinking? I cant be telling you everything all the time right?
1 year ago… 10 days at a glance
Warning: Rather long read ahead…
I entered the modern slavery world exactly 9 years ago today. 3 years ago, on the exact same date, I joined my current company. Quite a unique incident, isn’t it?
I didn’t spend 6 years with my first employer though. I spent 5 years there, a time when I witnessed the collapsed of a major accounting firm which followed by a merger. Thereafter, I had a short stint in China and a 6 months break where I watched all world cup matches on that year before joining the company I am currently with.
Today marks the completion of my 9th year as a modern slave and due to the unique coincident, today also marks the completion of my 3rd year with my current employer. It has been a journey of many ups and downs, filled with extreme eye openers and a time where I was forced to feast on the hideous realities of the working life.
Overall, it has been an incredible learning experience…
I would term my initial 5 working years as a “Corporate Symbiosis” --- the company got me to work almost non-stop for a meagre salary while I ride on them to build my knowledge and experience reserves and finally able to put this so called “professional firm” in my CV. You scratch my back, I scratch yours kind of thing.
The collapsed of the company (some of you could guess which company is this already) and subsequently, a merger was my first eye opener to the reality of the corporate world. People being forced out, heavy dose of office politics, power struggle, people flexing their muscles in their territories… survival was the name of the game.
I still remember some antics of my ex colleagues during the first few weeks of the merger. It was really like a civil war. The battleground… pantry! It was a race to see who “conquers” the pantry first during lunch. Looking back, it was all so silly and to a certain extent… entertaining!
The decision to leave after 5 years was not easy, as I have already developed a comfort zone. Besides, I was resigning for the first time, from my first job, a lot of uncertainties. But it was something I had to do. My time as a cheap labour was over.
I then spent a short time in China earning USD, which then allowed me to spend 6 months as a leong-dei-goon (unemployed). I shall blog about this separately. It was another great eye opening experience.
There are many things that I do not like and do not agree with in the place I currently work in. However, this place has given me the platform to truly expand my career. Being part of an international conglomerate, I am able to see many things from an international perspective. One thing in particular, Malaysia is always viewed as a dumping ground… I shall let you interpret that yourself.
Being promoted to a level where I had to recruit an additional person for my team also gave me the opportunity to conduct interviews and… a quite fun experience…going through CVs. I find it absolutely astonishing that people can submit their CVs for managerial position in an international corporation with atrocious English. Do they seriously expect to get an interview?
Also, I was very surprise at the level of salary people are getting. I thought it was only applicable in my industry but after exchanging information with some of my friends within the human-resource industry, I found out that if you are earning above RM6,000 a month; you should be counting your blessings. It is a sad reflection of this country’s economic health.
The slavery and exploitation are still there, and they will always be there. Just that it is a bit toned down here. Despite all that, I must extend my gratitude to my current employer. Last year during the peak of my health scare, the company paid for it. Specialist consultations, x-rays, ultrasound scans, scope, CT scan, MRI, tests after tests… all in a private medical centre and I did not fork out a single cent.
Though I am thankful, I still believe that one should never fall in love in one’s company. A line should always be drawn between you and the company. Even if you don’t draw it, the line is already there; drawn by the company without your knowledge. And when the line is finally revealed to you, the situation is often brutal.
This is why I never refer to my employer as “my company”. Firstly, I don’t own it. But the more pertinent reason is because I am painfully aware of the fact that companies hide things from their employees. There will always be a servant and master relationship in the corporate world. Hence, it is not “my company”. I only refer to it as the-company-I-work-in, or something along that line.
Last but not least, let me conclude the reflection of my 9 years in the modern slavery corporate world with 3 points:-
Telling you boss that you are happy with your salary is the most stupid thing that you can ever say to your boss. Do note that I am speaking both as an employee and a boss. Be ready to kiss your increment goodbye if you do that. A simple smile, or a short yeah-it’s-ok should suffice when being asked about your satisfaction level towards your pay. The same goes to displaying your love towards your work.
Being good at your work will get you noticed. Getting things done will help you climb the ladder. But to really reach the top, the skill required is to get others who are good at their work to get things done for you. That is the formula to success. In short, one must make others slave for you to move up the slave food chain.
The saying “The head you step today may be the ass that you need kiss tomorrow” is viciously real. Fortunately though, I learned this notion in a pleasant manner as I am now the ass that needs to be kissed. I guess now, I have to be careful on the people I step on. Or, best not to step on anyone at all.
P/S: A lot of people asked me about the difference between working in a “professional firm” vs. working in a “commercial firm”. I suppose there will be another trilogy ahead…
1 year ago… Different breed, different reaction… Japan got hit
2 years ago… Let us be reminded… The price to drive
Disparity is when one eats at a coffee shop while the other eats at a posh restaurant.
Insanity is when many cannot afford to fine-dine ever in the lives while for a few, they eat nothing else but fine-dine.
Inhumanity is when millions are starving and hoping to get USD5 to feed themselves in a week while there are some who can spend thousands of USD just for a spoonful of caviar.
Disparity is when one drives a Honda while the other drives a BMW.
Insanity is when many can only afford a motorbike while a family of 5 can have up to 10 cars at home.
Inhumanity is when 45% of the world population will die without having to see what a car is while there are people who purchase not one but a few Porsches even before they got their driving licence.
Disparity is when one uses a simple hand-phone while the other uses a Blackberry / iPhone.
Insanity is when many could not afford a hand-phone while some can have absolutely no feeling when they lose their hand-phones.
Inhumanity is when 70% of the world population have not heard how a “dialing tone” sounds like while some changes hand-phone at every other new model release.
Disparity is when one wears a normal cap while the other wears a Nike cap.
Insanity is when many are paid USD5 a week to make Nike caps while a handful of individuals are paid millions just to wear it.
Inhumanity is when those who make the caps and needed USD5 to survive are retrenched in bad times while those few who are paid millions to wear it got their contract renewed.
Disparity is when your diamond ring is 0.25 carat while your friend’s is more than 1 carat.
Insanity is when millions will never have a chance to own a diamond ring while some complain that their diamond is too small.
Inhumanity is when thousands die while mining diamonds in Africa everyday while some insist on getting more diamonds despite knowing that people are dying mining it.
Disparity is when your kid plays marbles while the other kid plays with a Sony PSP.
Insanity is when millions of kids will grow up without knowing what a PSP is while others shower their kids with PSP, Nintendo Wii, iPod, iPhone, control cars, etc., etc.
Inhumanity is when thousands of kids get killed mining “Coltan” so that other kids around the world can kill monsters and aliens by pressing buttons. Coltan is a very essential component in making electrical products such as PSP and handphones.
Disparity is when you have a low pay job while other has a high pay job.
Insanity is when thousands of those with low pay jobs and needed that low pay just to survive are retrenched during bad times while those few with high pay jobs who probably only needed 5% of their pay to survive get a 5% pay cut.
Inhumanity is when tens of thousands of those with low pay jobs who didn’t get retrenched are made to sympathise the minority with high pay jobs who got a 5% pay cut.
Where are we?
1 year ago… From tension to happ’y’ness
The end is near. The end of the year I mean, and to say that this year is an eventful one is certainly an understatement. As the year comes to an end, it also marks the beginning of an annual affair in the corporate world. No, I am not referring to the annual year-end reporting period… I am referring to a battle… a domestic one… one that is going to be even more intense this year…
I am referring to the battle for bonus allocation…
31 Dec is a very common year-end period for a lot of companies. But unknown to many, that while the accountants slave it out to report the numbers, there are those in the corporate world who will commence their battle to justify their “performance”.
In a big corporation, it is common to have more than 1 unit or department that generates revenue. For example, a big corporation like General Electrics have manufacturing business, aircraft servicing, capital, etc. Sometimes, a single company can have multiple revenue centre too. Take a bank for example, it has the corporate banking unit, consumer banking unit, debt capital market, treasury, etc.
Sometimes, when a business deal is struck, it can be difficult to ascertain which revenue centre is to be recognised for the credit. It may be easier if the company is a product-based company, though still possible. But it becomes messy when a company is service-based. Mind you, being recognised is crucial as it converts to increment and bonus at the end of the year…. $$$$$!
A very real example, which I think many are aware is this thing about how that little mp3 device called iPod… is dying a slow death. And do you know who or what is killing iPod? It’s none other than the… iPhone.
I heard (which means it could be untrue) that the iPod unit in Apple is blaming the iPhone unit of killing their own kind. It may not be the case in Malaysia but people around the world prefer to buy an iPhone instead of an iPod, which makes perfect sense really. And due to this, iPod is not doing as well as it used to be. Come payment of bonus, guess who in Apple will be pocketing a fat pay cheque?
Trust me, the “battle” to get oneself recognised for the credit can be a bloody affair. You have absolutely no idea how one is willing to go just to make sure one’s bonus is secured, even at the expense of others. And due to the current economic turmoil, the bonus pool is much smaller, which in turn will intensify the battle.
In the place where I work, I have already witness small battle happening since months ago. As the accountants need to separate the bonus provision between departments, this is going to be a bloody war.
Imagine there are 2 companies, Company A and Company B. Both companies are in the same business in town, and their business is rather specialised. This means the workers in this business can only work in Company A or B in this town.
Both companies are actually doing quite well despite the current economic condition. But one day, the big boss of Company A decided to downsize the company. Certainly, with the bad economic state, it’s not that difficult to obtain regulatory approval.
And so Company A retrench say… 30% of its personnel. Of course, they don’t really call it retrenchment. Packaging is important so it’s usually called voluntary separation scheme, flexible separation scheme, this scheme and that scheme. No matter what the call it, people will lose their job. The 70% remaining people in Company A will then become fearful thus will not dare to demand for increment or bonus.
With this, then Company B suddenly went on a recruitment drive and recruited the 30% workers in the market that only Company B can employ, due to their specialised skills. Of course, these 30% workers will employed by Company B at a much lower salary than before. Well, they have been retrenched, not much choice right?
Interestingly, Company B then retrench 30% of its original staff strength. These 30% being retrenched are not the newly employed ex-Company A workers, they are the existing ones. Made sense right? You employ all the ex-Company A workers cheaply, you can then get rid of those in current payroll who are getting much higher pay. Naturally, this also sends a chill to existing Company B workers thus they too do not dare to demand for increment and bonus.
More interestingly, Company A too went on a recruitment drive and employ the 30% retrenched ex-Company B workers. Of course, they are employed at a much lower salary compared to their previous employment in Company B.
In conclusion, 30% of staff changed working place between Company A and Company B resulting in massive reduction in staff cost. The non-retrenched staff paranoid about losing their job thus will not ask for increment and bonus resulting in an even more massive reduction in cost. Since both companies are actually doing well despite the economic crisis, there is a sudden increase in profit.
The big bosses of the 2 companies claim credit for the profit increase and pocket a fat bonus…
It’s just a theory… anyone got a morale of the theory?
A few weeks ago, the US financial market was reaching a near collapse, threatening a possible global economic recession. Everyone was in a panic mode until the US govt announced a USD700b bail-out plan. Then things sort of picked up a bit, with stock markets around Asia region rallied for a while.
Now, it appears that the bail-out plan may not happen, triggering another major shake up in the market. It sent out a chill to a lot of people late last week as a few more banks in the US failed.
Well, if you were to ask me… I would say… let the bail-out plan go bust!
Why?
I’ve been talking to a lot of people about the world’s economic health and I noticed one thing… most, if not all of the people who dread a crash in the market are usually the ‘richer’ ones. These are the people who are currently driving big cars and living in high-class condos, not to mention having a few other units around the region as… “investments”.
They are all very stressed now. They are stressed not because they are afraid of losing their jobs, but because a crash in the financial market will result in them losing their rather luxury lifestyle. These are the people who have been making heaps while the rest of the workforce remain at the bottom of the food chain.
Of course, I am sure you are thinking right now that a global recession will also result in people like us losing their jobs.
That is very true, our jobs may or may not be at risk depending on the nature. But have you been spending beyond your means, regularly swiping that piece of plastic called credit cards and buying things that you do not need to impress people you do not like? If you have not been doing so, you should have amassed for yourself a certain amount of savings to survive.
Put it this way… at the end of this year, your boss is most definitely going to announce something like…
“Don’t worry, the company is doing well. But due to the current economic climate, we have to be mindful of our spending to ensure costs do not escalate. At the same time, I trust that we will all work hard to ensure that this company continue to grow”
But then, it effectively tells you…
“Times are bad. If you still want your job, please work extra hard to ensure that the company stay alive. And while you’re at it, don’t expect an increment or bonus this year.”
Some companies are already drilling this message to their slaves.
The rich has gotten too rich while the poor are not getting any better. Inflation is soaring. It needs to come down. So many of us cannot afford a decent property in town because property prices have been jacked up by people who not only buy one, but a few properties as “investments”. Developers prefer to build high-class condos because they know there are people out there who will buy these expensive condos with an intention to sell or rent.
And who are these people? They are those who fear a recession most.
When recession is here (and yes, it’s definitely coming), crude oil prices will fall, car prices will drop, property market will burst… prices of everything will come down. Some of us may lose our jobs. But if you are willing to take a pay-cut and have not over-committed yourself financially (i.e. buying a car and a house within your income capability), you should be alright as prices of most things will drop to an affordable level.
Perhaps I am being naïve, and I may not have been sensitive to the impact of recession to you. But I personally don’t really fear recession that much. Time for the rich boys and girls to face the music and sell off their stuff cheap to poor people like me. And like I said, our bosses are going to screw us one way or another.
Last but not least… let me leave you with this…
Recession is bad for poor…
Recession is worse for the rich…
But recession is worst for those who are poor but think they are rich…
Which category are you in?
When I first mentioned about big corporations doing all the crap in the name of environment, there are those who commented saying that since it will benefit the environment, why not? No argument there.
But…
What I find rather distasteful is that corporations are merely trying to paint their cost cutting measures with the rosy ‘save-the-environment’ picture. And, it is just not any cost cutting measure; it is actually a specific type of cost cutting measure.
My previous entry on the evil side of ‘save-the-environment’ campaign may have made most of you laugh but funny it may be, the situation bears much truth. When cost is involved, to hell with environment. And… when it comes to cost, it must also be specific type of cost.
Consider the following scenario…
Modern Slave: Boss, I have a brilliant idea for our ‘save-the-environment’ campaign.
Big boss: Really? But you know what are the conditions… right?
Modern Slave: Oh yes. I definitely know what are the ‘conditions’. But this is going to a fantastic idea. It’s going to save the environment AND reduce cost!!!
Big boss: Realllllllly? Well, then I am sure it is a fantastic idea. Enlighten me.
Modern Slave: You know the CEO is now using a Mercedes S-Class, then 2 of our directors are on a 7-series and 5-series respectively? Then the 2 head of departments are on Volvo S-40. And of course, you boss… you are on an E-Class.
Big boss: Yeah..???
Modern Slave: All these are company cars and I am sure you know they consume a lot of petrol, which is of course bad for the environment. I suggest we sell of these cars and replace them with the Honda Civic Hybrid, which is an environmental friendly car. Not only we will save money for all the bosses’ petrol claims, I am also very sure that we will make a handsome profit by replacing the current fleet of luxury cars with the Hybrid Civic. Isn’t that a brilliant idea?
Big boss: [again… fill in the blank yourself]
Do you think it’s all about saving the environment and perhaps save some cost?
I was running on the treadmill the other day when something on the tv screen in front of me caught my attention. It was a statement issued by one Multi-National Corporation (“MNC”) regarding their record profit growth for the year. Not long after that, statements by a few other global giants were shown. They too, achieved phenomenal profit growth.
Usually, MNCs will claim that their growth was achieved from effective management or well-structured financing or dedicated people or other sophisticated reasons. I may not be an expert in the business world but as far as I am concern, profit growth can only be achieved by a few methodologies:-
Increase the volume of sales while maintaining costs; or
Increase the price of products/services while maintaining costs; or
Reduce costs.
Of course, the most effective way of achieving profit growth is to adopt all of the above which is… increase price and sales volume and at the same time, reduce costs.
Ya’ know, all these big MNCs continue to be where they are simply because their profits keep increasing year by year; and it has to increase. A MNC, or any company for that matter, have to keep growing in order to survive in this ruthless world. More often than not, growth is measured by profit increase.
Leaving the reducing costs part aside, when a company increases the pricing of its product or service, there is only 1 loser… us. Maybe it’s too harsh to say that we’re losers, after all, we do enjoy the product or the service that we paid for. But then again, when you consider that our salary is not exactly growing at the rate of which the prices are growing, then we are quite near the losing end…
Now, let’s have a look at the ‘cost cutting measures’. Such initiative is often hidden behind the name ‘cost management’. It is interesting to know that when a global MNC decides to cut its cost perform costs management, it is usually being implemented in Asian countries. And trust me, Malaysia is a country always being targeted, probably because they know Malaysians corporate slaves will do whatever they can to please the big boss.
Anyway, what happen when you’re a victim of a cost cutting regime and you have to face increasing prices situation? Yeah, then you are the ultimate loser…
The above may not be the exact situation for you, but that is quite the trend on things happening around us. We always complain that our salary is not increasing but prices of things kept increasing but you know what? The thing is… prices are going to keep increasing while our salary will not be increasing in a rate that will match it. Well… perhaps some will, some might even have their salary increasing in a rate much higher than the increase of products/services. But for many many many of us… we will not be that fortunate.
We all know that we live in a world where the rich will always get richer; and most of the time, they get richer by making the poor gets poorer. But what we don’t quite know is that the poor, in the struggle to become rich… all ends up helping the rich to get richer. The above is a classic example; and there are many more. But that’s a story for another day…
P/S: The prices of bread just increased. Soon, every fellas who eat bread are going to increase the price of their stuff… what are you going to increase?
During the olden days, the British were a powerful empire that spreads across the globe with countless colonies. Of course, colonisation was not only the habit of the British, the French, the Portuguese and the Spaniards all had their fare share of colonies too. With the exception of Japan who tried and failed, most olden days colonial masters originated from the west.
While being colonised, all the wealth of the colonies in the form minerals, spices or produce were transferred back to their home country. Our country’s reserve, once said to be the highest concentration in the world, were all repatriated back to England. There were also gold, mainly from India and other reserves being sent back to England. All these are achieved by using the local population as cheap labour. Once they have sucked a country dry, they leave in the name of ‘granting independence’ to the colonies.
Basically… they came…they invade… they repatriate…
The days of colonisation are over… or are they?
Former colonies like ours, which have been granted independence spent years in developing themselves in order to reach whichever state they are today. Let’s just leave out the notion of corruption or mismanagement of funds in our country for the time being. That aside, our country have indeed made much progression from whatever that was left with us when the colonial masters left.
Now, with whatever wealth that we have gathered, we asked the west, or anyone who has money to come and invest in our country. With much potential, many came and some are still coming. They pour money into our country… employ us as their employees… make us slave ourselves in trying to make profit for them… and finally send back the profit to them in the form of dividend.
So now… we ask them to come… they invest… we repatriate…
In the old days, they came with their warships carrying troops and invaded our country. They put our
forefathers into a somewhat slavery state to plough our lands of our resources and took all our wealth away.
In the modern era, they come with their Multi-National Corporations (“MNCs”) carrying cash. They pay us and tempt us into believing that we will be paid better and better thus most of us are willing to slave ourselves for them. Unknowingly to most of us, they will only pay us a nominal amount. All the wealth in the form of profits of the MNCs will be sent back to them by way of dividend. Worse, some professional mistakes makers here are willing to slave day and night to trying to package the repatriation process in order to maximise rewards for them… and then feel proud about it.
You will be surprise that there are a lot of MNCs whose domestic operations are not making much money; some are even making losses domestically. But they are seen as giant on the world stage simply because the money generated via overseas operations is tremendous… simply because operations from overseas keeping sending money back to the MNCs. 
It has been years since the colonial masters left their colonies. But where once there were invasions, there are now investments. Where they were once invaders, they are now investors. Where we were once slaves, we are now employees. Where there was once this land is a colony, it is now flooded with subsidiaries. This is indeed… modern colonisation.
P/S: Thanks Rinnah for the “Fabulous Award” and also to Mumsgather for the “Creative Blogger Award”. I feel very honoured indeed. 
In a nutshell, the auditor is to certify that the accounts of a company reflect the “true and fair view” of the company. Of course, it goes through quite a long process. Don’t get conned with the professional look and aura that they put up though.
And the partner will do an overall reasonable review… this is the information technology age, so companies having computers are normal.
