Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Those typo experiences

When I was still working in my first job, we have this software installed in all of our desktops and notebooks called “sametime”. It functions very much like msn messenger, and it allows us to chat communicate with people within the firm, even globally. We were supposed to use it as a tool to discuss “work-related” stuff, and that’s exactly what we did.

What? You don’t believe me? It’s true! We only talk about work related stuff… like what to have for lunch in a working day… which colleague of our workplace has the hots for which female workmate… which junior working staff are morons… bitch about our working managers… bitch about our workplace… about football teams that people in the workplace support… see, they are all work-related stuff, no?

Anyway… in one of my work-related conversation with a colleague, this happened…

Zewt: what are we having for lunch?
Colleague: the one that you mentioned the other day.
Zewt: which one?
Colleague: dick rice

Zewt: what????
Colleague: that one la… oh.. no no no no….!!! hahahaha

Actually, my colleague was referring to ‘duck rice’, but as the letter ‘u’ was located next to the letter ‘i’, a slight typo brought about a whole different lunch plan.

Over the years, I have also made some typos which can give a whole different meaning. One memorable one would be when someone asked me question and I wanted them to hold for a while. I wanted to say “gimme a sec”… but since the letter ‘c’ is located next to the letter ‘x’… yeah, you got it right… I typed…

“gimme a sex”… can be quite an embarrassing moment, particularly when your junior was asking you something. If we are in America, we would have been sued for sexual harassment.

If you think that’s bad, wait till you hear this. One of the all time favourite first line in work-related chat is asking someone “are you busy”… now look at the letters ‘u’ and ‘y’… due to my very quick but not very efficient typing… I ended up asking…

















“are you busty?”

Have you ever had suck... i mean such experience?

59 comments:

ah nel said...

i can make dick rice for u if u wan? LOL

Little Ray said...

I've done that "sex" thingy. How embarrassing! Heh

wong said...

Haha... Now I wonder if the keyboards' key actually to design for this little fun time eh?

angel said...

Haha! Thank god my dad sent me for typing classes! I'm ever so grateful for that :D

narrowband said...

That sex-sec one really got me a few times.

kyliemc said...

muahhaa..i alwiz typo when chat in msn but my typo aint tht serious :P muahhaa...

Seok Thong said...

Too bad i've never experienced it before. Hehe!

Cedric said...

I do not mean to make fun of Chinese school students but this is what happened to my classmate last time. He wasn't a fan of The Pussycat Dolls so he didn't know how to spell the name correctly and he was requesting for "Don't Cha"'s mp3 from me.

Know how this fella ask his damn question?
He: "Eh, you got the pussy what docha docha song?"
Me: "What pussy?"
He: "The one say docha docha, from what pussy one."

I took 5 minutes to reply him as I was laughing my ass off. Damn, he obviously don't know what pussy means.

Sheena said...

I used to go to St. Francis Xavier. Initials: SFX.

Unfortunately, predictive text input on my handphone insists on Sundays that I go to sex, rather than church. Esp. when I am texting fellow Catholics in a hurry.

Not a way to give the best impression.

jaezrel said...

yah.....that 'give me a sex' thgy is too common....each time my boss pressure me for sth he wanted asap....i will reply his mail like give me a....s**.......muahhahahaa but it's ok...cause he's a young boss.....tho married....but it's ok.......

me said...

haha. NO. i proof read (like reallllll)

confessing7girl said...

ahnah ah thats soo funny!!!!! gimme me a sex!! damn!!!!!!!! hummm i guess i never made such a big typo...... not that i can remember... maybe the memory was so bad it got erase by my ego!!

ehon said...

all the time but i never bother to rmbr ler. u still rmbr!! tsk tsk.

Huei said...

hahahhahah
thank god my typo usually end up not making sense!

dick rice! sounds.....ok i can skip lunch today! =P hehehe

hikazew® said...

Dick rice i have not heard it served. But there is Sup Torpedo which serves bull's penis or balls i can't remember..

Jessica said...

Damn good blog man...i laugh till my tears came out... :)

jorji said...

this is not typo la..

My boss name is Peter Teh..and everytime i type the word TEH -microsoft words will automatically change it to the word THE.

so it change the name to Peter THE.

when everyone in the ofis dah kene that kind of auto spell from microsoft..automatically we calling our own COO PETER THE!

like.." Peter The in ah?"

feliz said...

one common mis-typed word in the bank's offer letter has the borrower wondering what next to do when he reads this:

' ..please signify your acceptance of the above terms and conditions by singing and returning to us the copy of this letter... '

hahaha.. sing well, borrow on better terms ?

alan zed said...

dude, you got me at the dick rice. fun stuff. :D

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

wah ur mistakes very da hamsap ar..thank god i haven got any close shaves..just alot of nonsensical typo errors..

Maverick SM said...

Ya, I had got sucked....in my job

zewt said...

ah nel - you're gonna cut of yours? wahh... such sacrifice...


Little Ray - guess i am not the only one eh...

wong - hello and welcome! well... i guess we must say the keyboard has been brilliantly designed then, dont u think? thanks for visitin...

angel - maybe you typed too fast leh... the busty one was due to my overly fast typing.

narrowband - haha... was it to a guy or a girl?

kyliemc - what typos are those?

Seok Thong - really? you're missing the fun :P

zewt said...

Cedric - hahaha!!!! then i guess your friend didnt catch the puss in boots joke from shrek eh? and what docha docha? aiyoooo... send him the hitz.fm version and see what he says.

Sheena - hi and welcome to AZAIG. such boo boo while sms-ing? now... that's something new. but then again, i think i have had some typos in sms-ing too. thanks for droppin by and hope to see ya again.

jaezrel - so what did your boss say?

me - you proof read your chat lines? crazy ah u...

confessing7girl - hahaha... imagine if you said that to a guy... wonder what he will say.

ehon - i remember cos i make them quite often. those days la. but the gimme a sex... i mean sec is still often repeated.

Huei - there were actually pictures being cirulated in the net about this shop that sells rice with stuff which resembles dick... damn gross.

zewt said...

Hikazew - it's a typo ler... but yeah, i know of such erotic... i mean exotic soup.

Jessica - and did you roll on the floor too?

jorji - oh yeah, this teh vs the is truly a pain. sometimes, we wish the auto-correct isnt so smart eh? peter the in... hmmm... sounds funny.

feliz - hmmmm... which bank you work in... i try to sing if i will get better terms... haha!

alan zed - and not at busty? haha!

constant craver joe - like what ah? those nonsensical also got la... but not funny.

Maverick SM - very interesting job you have there... hah!

ColourMeCrazy said...

That's hilarious! I only have one question: Is Big Brother watching these online conversations???

Angel Eyes said...

Hahaaaa.. i had a good laugh just now dude.

Typo error, yes i had my fair share too.

I was on YM the other day. This was the sentence that i typed.

It was supposed to be, "Do you think i'm stupid?"

And i typed ...

I think i do think i'm stupid?

Rashikaps said...

:):) A project manager who's project documents I was auditing had once written - Sorry about the delay .. blah .. Please 'bare' with me.

Doreen said...

Don't remember I've such an experience coz' I don't chat much I suppose. Dick rice is a real classic. hahahaha

J.T. said...

Funny posting. Give me a sex... hmmm.. familiar. :D
Dick rice? hahaha
And what Rashikaps just shared. That is funny too - "bare with me".
I cannot remember my typos but it does occur when I am chatting online. I am more inclined to do verbal typos e.g. "since I did yours, will you do me?"

Cirnelle said...

I ended a letter with "Please do hesitate to contact me if you have any queries." And I was wondering why after two months, there was no response from the client.

AngryYoungChild said...

Oh!! I kena the sex thing..-_- heh.. another problem with all this chat messenger is the short forms.. I was talking to my friend and he asked me what i was doing..and i sorta replied saying " I'm reading testis " when i actually meant "I'm reading testimonials "

Huhuhu...@_@ I think i shud really check what i type before i send. haha..

By the way zewt, can u go to freethinker's website to vote for him to camwhore at the cbox?!? Pleaseee Pretty pretty plsss..XD

day-dreamer said...

LOL!! I totally understand, because most of the times we just hit "Enter" even before reading what we typed. Hahaha!

Dick rice... or another typo and it will become fuck rice. :D

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

I made this sort of mistake all the time.Oh now I understand why I am sooooooo tired & all wet with sweat after my 'intense pokeing' session from ur previous entries.BTW no wander I cannot acess ur sites using office's 'holy' computer as ur entries got so many 4-D word! Have a nice day.

baby sa said...

LOlz!!!!
what a great post and im sure everyone had done this kinda mistake before.
no matter it's sex related or not.

Bee said...

but sometimes it can make people laugh isn't it haha

Anak Merdeka said...

lol!! I used to think FCUK was the ultimate typo to wear across your breast!

zewt said...

ColourMeCrazy - Big Brother? u mean the boss? well.. the whole firm is doing it... is he going to fire everyone?

Angel Eyes - Hey! welcome to AZAIG. as for your ... err.. i try and try and try again to see how can one make such typo... i just cant see how.... i think i do think you're stupid... ok.. joking :)

Rashikap - and did you bare with him? LOL!

Doreen - i tot the busty one was classic.

JT - ah yes... who can forget your verbal boo boo... but with verbal... u can immediately make amends. but imagine me sending a message like "are you busty" to a girl and then i didnt know i made such mistake and leave the window there...

Cirnelle - how come i feel i did that before too...

zewt said...

AngryYoungChild - ahhh... i did that before too... the short forms... someone asked me "write me a testis la"... haha! voted already.

day dreamer - woooaaahhhh... yeah woh!!! the 'd' is very near the 'f'!!!!

hor ny ang moh - 4D? which 4D? f*ck?

baby sa - yeah... check out rashikaps' comment...

Bee - yeah... it certainly does...

anak merdeka - that one... i think that's pretty creative though...

ah nel said...

no worr...as alot of dogs,pig,cow all so healthy...LOL

King's wife said...

Yes, itu bcomes tiu!

-=SiN=- said...

lol that was funny :D
i usually have a hard time trying to understand direct chinese -> english translated text.. haha

KEF said...

Yes, definitely!

mar said...

Hahahaha...funny funny...too funny for me to comment...lol...the comments got me laughing too...esp the pussy and SFX=SEX one...hahhaha...

Sheena said...

Mar: Glad you enjoyed that :P

Zewt: I said it already on a comment on my blog, but here goes:

WAH! I D*MN BANGGA! MY BLOG GOT VISITED BY THE FAMOUS ZEWT!

Tengkiu, tengkiu, for swinging by my humble spot.

(Seriously. It made my day :)

zewt said...

ah nel - woooahhh... then no need la. anyway, dont think i want any kinda dick haha...

king's wife - hahaha... imagine u wanna say... itu la... tiu la! hahaha

=SIN= - hello and welcome here! well, i understand your predicament. when a direct translation is performed, it can be very confusing.

KEF - give la some example.

mar - i guess the 'bare with me' didnt hit u that hard eh? haha!

Sheena - well, i am glad it made your day. if you have more interesting entry like that one on lina joy... i will most probably be there again.

kyliemc said...

who mistyped as hwo,haha becomes gaga n much later on most of my frens tease me by typing gaga instead of haha.., n some minor mistakes...gee,chatting wif me alwiz makes ppl laugh like mad.. *blush*

neno said...

hehehe..made those typo mistakes all the time..

deOughtred said...

The 'hold one sec' reminds me on my supervisor 14 years ago. When on phone, instead of saying, "Hold on" she always say "HOLD DOWN"... and my imagination runs wild.. hahaha

Sasha said...

This is a good one! Dick rice...errr dun wan la. Chow bee wan...

Rabbit said...

LOL! Dick rice! So the meat all looks like lap cheong lah? Keke!

5xmom.com said...

I have never experience this wor. Cos my typing damn perfect. So this is very eye opening for me. Maybe I should try it one day, "I am busty"

may said...

one too many typos for me, but these days I've learnt to hold off hitting "enter" before I spell-check! *I kiasu mah...*

zewt said...

neno - i guess i am not alone.

deOughtred - hi there. well... it depends on who is doing the "HOLD DOWN"... right? haha!

Sasha - haha... well, how u know... u have tasted before?

Rabbit - lap cheong looks very dry... think dick looks more.. err... stiff? haha...

5xmom - hahahahaha.... well, i guess you are...

may - wahhh... that's very troublesome... so stressful even to chat!

bongkersz said...

er.. are you busty zewt? :D

rinnah said...

Hahaha... I've done a number of these typo thingys on IMing but most of the time even my comments and SMSes are in proper English. And I spell check a lot! *grin*

koffee said...

eww.. dick rice.. uurrrgghhhhh....

i use to go for typing class..so sometimes when i typed too fast even when typed with the correct fingers, SPEED IS IMPORTANT as your fingers might slip and pressed another button.

like in my experience lagi worse:

fren: how are u? u ok?
me: im dick..
fren: huh?
me: sick* (!!!)
fren: rotfl
me: damn.. -_-:

zewt said...

bongkersz - i really hope i am... not... haha

rinnah - spell check? wahhh... isnt that a bit troublesome? i wonder how would it be when u work...

koffee - hahahahahahahaha... didnt know you're a dick... hahaha... we all have such days.

Albert Yap said...

can I have your sametime contactso that we can talk bout 'dick rice' and 'busty' issue during work?

hahahahaha

zewt said...

albert yap - hahahaha... i am no longer there... so no cant do...