Reflecting this CNY

Since the passing of my grandmother slightly less than a decade ago, I have always had the impression that my 3rd aunt is the most traditional person in the family. She is a spinster who stays with us, and has been dictating how things should be done in family when it comes to Chinese practices.

Having now spent the 3rd Chinese New Year without my Mom, I think my impression may be inaccurate…

My 1st CNY after the passing of Mom was spent in London, on secondment. Nothing much can be done about that. Strange though, the 2nd and the recent 3rd CNY spent without Mom, there was absolutely no emphasis placed on the CNY eve reunion dinner. My aunt didn’t seem to “enforce” it that much.

We also have this tradition of “hoi lin” (commencing of the new year), which falls on the second day of CNY where again, everyone has to be around for brunch. It is a significant event for my family. However, this tradition seems to have lost its fang this CNY and the last. My aunt doesn’t seem care much if everyone is around for brunch that signifies the commencement of a new year.

Rewind the lunar calendar a little, and we have the “Tung” festival, the one where chinese make “tong yuen” (those little rice balls in sweet ginger soup). I have always been thought that “tung dai go lin”, which means “Tung” festival is actually more important than CNY. I have never been home for dinner during “Tung” since my Mom passed away…

Reflecting all these made me realise that my Mom was the driving force behind all the traditions, not my aunt. Considering that my Mom came from a Malay village (she’s Chinese) and she didn’t speak much Cantonese or eat much pork when she arrived at KL, she must have taken a lot of effort to do all that.

The 15th day of CNY, the “Chap Goh Meh” is another date where being home for dinner is of great importance, or so it used to be. My aunt’s reply to me when I asked about it was “Up to you ler”… I think the least I can do is to make sure that this dinner happens, as it used to be…


1 year ago… You better give yourself a choice before…

2 years ago… Absolute bolehness

3 years ago… A Chinese New Year missing

Preserving... what?

When I scrutinised the migration issue a while ago, a particular reason to why we should all remain in Malaysia was highlighted. Of all reasons and excuses that I’ve ever heard, I disagree with this reason most. Yes, I even find the I-stay-here-because-of-the-food a much better reason compared to this particular one.

The reason mentioned was… preserving our culture.

Since the migration talk centres mostly upon Chinese, I shall confine the notion of this article only on Chinese culture.

So… remaining in this country to preserve our culture? Seriously? Our culture, to me; is already dying a death inflicted by our very own hands in this land.

For a start, check out the names of the your children or your friend’s children. The regular Mei Ling, Siew Ling, Ah Hong, Ah Tan, Ah Seng, etc. are there only for documentation purposes. Instead, they are known as Ethan, Gabriel, Antonio, Shauntaine, Caitlynn, Caroline and one of my friend even named their daughter Gisele. If we can't even address our children by their Chinese name, what preserving culture are we talking about?

By the way, if your children do not have an English name, very likely their Chinese name is one that does not sound like a typical Chinese name anymore. You know what I am talking about. Well, at least you try not to officiate the English name.

But then again, do you tell your children that they you are their “ba-ba or ma-ma” or… you are known as daddy/mommy to them? Worse, how many of you are conversing with your children with any language BUT the Chinese language? Of all my friends who grew up speaking Cantonese, they are all conversing with their children in English. “Seems more natural” was the excuse.

And just to rewind a little bit back to the time when most of us got married, did we wear a Chinese “qua”? Or a tux? Preserving our culture? Really?

December is coming, and everyone is excited. Why? Because Christmas is coming! The birth of Christ and a religious celebration notwithstanding, how many of us Chinese are more excited about Christmas than Chinese New Year? Dinner with friends/family on Christmas eve is something to look forward to but dinner with family on Chinese New Year eve and Chap Goh Mei is a chore, isn’t it?

And do we still celebrate Mid-Autumn festival and the dumpling (“jung”) festival? Oh, you do know that those are Chinese festivals right? Do you?

I can go on forever but I am sure you know what I am trying to get at. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that we should all suddenly get traditional so that our Chinese heritage radiates out of us. The fact is; the Chinese in most of us are dying, if not dead. And not migrating is not going to stop that.

Before I end, allow me to share with you this real life encounter that I had with a child…

Baby X is now 3 years old. He was born into a Chinese family where both the parents speak Cantonese. In fact, the paternal grandparents side do not speak English at all. But just like so many young Chinese families nowadays, Baby X grew up, and is still growing in a very strong English speaking environment.

Lately, efforts were being put in to remind Baby X that he is of Chinese decent. This was triggered by a lack of response from Baby X when people tried to communicate with him in Cantonese. It appears that he will not speak to you if you speak to him in anything besides English. The child, as it seems, knows how to differentiate between English and other languages.

But one latest effort hit the worst snag when Baby X gave this strong response… he screamed…

“I am not Chinese! Don’t speak to me in Chinese. Don’t call me Chinese. I don’t like Chinese!”


P/S: A few people e-mailed me asking about GST. While I am not exactly the expert, I will certainly be blogging more about it soon…

1 year ago… Did all the money suddenly just disappear?

2 years ago… A very familiar situation… The ultimate fine dining