To be or not to be a “tai-tai”

Simplistically defined, “tai-tai” means a married woman who does not need to work. Generally, the understanding is that most girls out there will want to be a “tai-tai”. Please note the word “generally”.

I have met girls who were originally career minded and do not wish to be a tai-tai, and then made a 180 degrees turn and wanted to become one. This usually happened after a few years in the modern slavery world. Of course, there are those who made tai-tai their lifelong ambition from the very start.

There is however, an elite group of girls are adamant that they will never be a tai-tai. And these are girls who have been working for a few years and they are of the opinion that they can never sit at home, just look after the kids, do the cooking or just pure doing nothing. Other reasons quoted include lack of fulfilment and boredom as there will be no one around to hang out with.

I think there is a gap in understanding what exactly a tai-tai is. Being a tai-tai is just not about “not working”, “looking after kids” or “does nothing”, it’s also about “living the life”.

Imagine if you can wake up everyday to prepared breakfast. Then maybe, you need to send your kids to school. Thereafter, you go for your manicure and pedicure. Then lunch with… now, this is important… lunch with fellow tai-tais. Then all of you head to a spa together for some relaxation.

Perhaps some days, it will be yoga or pilates. Or some days, it will be tennis or golf or some dancing lessons, depending on your preference. This will then usually followed by tea/coffee with fellow tai-tais before picking up your kids. You then return home to prepared dinner and plan your next Europe holiday.

Perhaps the days are not that generic but more or less the same. Remember, all these without the stress and frustration of work. Would being a tai-tai be bored and unfulfilling?

Indeed, one needs to have the right resource to be a tai-tai. The major ingredient is of course, money. But the other important ingredient, which many often overlook… is the presence of fellow tai-tais.

When you have the money, a lot of money (from the husband of course) and a bunch of tai-tais who are fun to hang out with, a tai-tai’s life may not be that boring and unfulfilling after all. I have witnessed a soul who said she is not able to live the tai-tai life until she was presented with the golden opportunity. How things have changed.

Not working, staying home to cook and look after the kids and do nothing else is not the life of a tai-tai. That is the life of a housewife. So when you say you can’t be a tai-tai, perhaps you meant you can’t be a housewife?


1 year ago… Migration: Running towards something vs. Running from something

2 years ago… Tahap yang mana?… A candle epic

3 years ago… A locker tale… More but less

Why did you hire me?

I asked that straight to my boss’ face the other day, and I think I caught him by surprise. And the first word that came from him was… “personality”…

The nature of my work requires a certain level of technical knowledge, and I don’t think I am a very technically sound person. Well, I am not saying that I am crap, but there are certainly others who are much better than me. I am just slightly above average.

Hence, I never really expected him to say that I am given the job because I am exceptionally good in what I do. Personality certainly made more sense.

He further explained that I have the personality to interact well with people, which is crucial in the role I am in now. 75% of my time is spent talking to people. The ability to articulate my thoughts and the courage to voice them out in front of people, those are the attributes that landed me this job.

Other remarks from him include – I was “pretty natural” when I want to initiate a conversation with someone, and that I am not one who reacts negatively towards criticism.

Well, I sort of know why I was offered this position. Asking him that question was just me trying to test how does my boss sees me.

Succeeding in life is not just about working hard and being good that what you do. Of course, those are certainly important attributes. But I have learned that there is one crucial component to success… the ability to talk.

Are you able to stand in front of 50 people and talk without pissing in your pants? And if you do talk, do the 50 people understand what you are talking about? When you bump into your big big big boss at the pantry, do you quickly get your drink and go away hoping he/she didn’t notice you? Or do you try to strike a conversation with him/her? When you are at a dinner function, and your big big big boss decides to sit next to you, do you freeze in fear? Or are you able to speak as though he/she is a regular colleague (talking sense of course)?

All these things matter. And apparently, “they” have been observing me. The time when I was sent to London… those conferences… those formal dinner functions… those informal gatherings…

Some are of the opinion that “ability to talk” equals “ability to bullshit”. While that is not entirely accurate, there are certainly more successful bullshiters compared to successful non-bullshiters.


1 year ago… Do you know you work for the bank?… Please scold your parents

2 years ago… A change in dominant language… Gym tales – female version

3 years ago… Orgasm comparison… Debit affluence, credit conscience

1 month post-op update

They said time flies when you are having fun. I don’t think I am having a blissful time in the last 1 month but time certain flew past me like a flash.

It has been 1 month since my knee surgery and things have been progressing well. According to my physiotherapist (a Brazilian who had an internship with Sao Paolo), I am behind time in terms of flexibility.

Pre warm-up front natural bending is at 119 degrees and back bending while lying on my stomach is at 110 degrees. Though I have improved since last week, I was told I am behind time.

With warm-up, I can almost do a full bend while sitting upright but he said I am behind time because measurement should be taken before any warm-up exercise. Guess I still have a lot to work on.

There is going to be a lot of passive bending, i.e. I lie on my stomach and he will push my leg to bend… trust me… it is very very very painful. I usually will scream. He told me there were Brazilian players who used to cry during passive bending… made me feel much better.

The swelling on the operated knee has gone down quite a bit and the incisions are all healing nicely. However, something not so good is developing on my right leg, where my hamstring tendon was harvested.

Perhaps I over-used my right leg to compensate my weaker left leg, the lower right leg has swelled up and the shin felt a bit numb. Perhaps it’s the stretching of the skin due to the swelling, I don’t know.

Anyway, I am flying back to see my surgeon this Saturday. Hopefully it’s normal.

Anyone wants t pick me up from the LCCT this Friday? LOL…!


1 year ago… That 10 + 5 that you pay

2 years ago… KY (A+B+2C) + KY

Finally, something to complain about Singapore

Many teased me about how I kept praising this new land I am in. Perhaps I was a bit over-board there hence I paused and try to keep a lookout for things that I do not like about Singapore.

Finally found it…

The other day, Jules went to purchase something from the supermarket and had to “insist” that she doesn’t want a plastic bag. Apparently, the cashier was puzzled as to why she doesn’t want to take plastic bag.

Packing food for lunch is a culture, the amount of plastic and styrofoam containers used during lunchtime is mind-boggling. If you buy coffee, it will come in styrofoam cup and on top of that, you will be given a little plastic holder to carry it.

Heck! I was out for lunch yesterday and I ate at the restaurant… they gave me plastic cutleries. The drinks and desserts came in plastic containers.

I have to say, Singapore is terribly un-environmental friendly. Usage of plastic bags, plastic cups, styrofoam containers, disposable plastic cutleries are as rampant as corruption in Malaysia. When I told them I used to bring my own container to pack food, they were astonished.

I suppose Singapore is such a fast pace country, washing kitchenware or cutleries would be a waste of time. Time, which can better used to generate more money. It is a bit sad. I am glad Malaysia is a few steps ahead of Singapore in this department.

And being a country with limited source of land, I do wonder… where do all these non-biodegradable thrash go? Being recycled?... Have yet to find out…


1 year ago… 1 of the 50 facts… Sex 101: Basics are essential

2 years ago… More struggles… A time travelling twist… Do you have sweaty chest?

The root of the tragedy at the Std Cht Marathon

If you ran in the just concluded KL Standard Chartered Marathon or if you are a vivid facebook addict, you would have most probably read about a young man named Lim who passed away a couple of km before completing his 10km run.

What happened was Lim collapsed, he was then assisted by the writer of the facebook-note together with some other medically trained runners. While trying to preserve Lim’s life, they screamed for medical help but the Emergency Medical Services (“EMS”) was no where to be found.

And of course, in typical Malaysian style… and I quote the writer…

“… 3 DBKL officers (with big motorcycles) just stood by the road side and just stare…”

The EMS arrived after 15-20 minutes, when Lim barely had any pulse left. And again, in typical Malaysian style, the EMS ambulance had practically nothing in it. Maybe if you need some nasi-lemak or char-kuey-teow, you may find some. But if you want life-saving equipment in a supposedly life-saving ambulance… takde… mei you… don’t have.

You may wish to read full real life account of the incident here.

Comments flowed in to concur with the writer saying the organiser must take responsibilities, there needs to be more awareness, next year people should make health declaration before running, etc.

To me, all these pleas will only remove the symptoms, but will never cure the disease. The KL Stand Chart Marathon was also marred with some aspects of fiasco, and this year, someone died. But how come, the same Stand Chart Marathon that takes place in Singapore every year do not have such problems? After all, same organiser and same sponsors…

DBKL officers not giving a shit… slow EMS arrival… ambulance that cannot function as an ambulance… these are manifestation of a failed system, the result of mediocrity which has since been conveniently accepted by most Malaysians. And if you have been reading news, this is not the first time someone died because of poor ambulance service.

You may say that I am trying to condemn Malaysia again and praising Singapore because I am now residing here. But when I was running the KL SC Marathon and Singapore SC Marathon, I was still residing in Malaysia… same sponsor, same organiser… a whole world of a difference. Why?

Deep down, if we are honest with ourselves, we know the problem is not just poor organising. It’s much deeper than that. If you fail to see that, then you are really intoxicated with nasi-lemak, char-kuey-teow and bak-kut-teh.

Lim – may you rest in peace.


2 years ago… The ‘jip san leong’ act

3 years ago… What’s your answer?… When the ‘if’ turns real

What does Malaysia and England have in common?

Before Thomas Cup, Malaysia talked as though they won it.

Before World Cup, England talked as though they have won it.



England shite...

Friday Physio Frolic

I managed to walk much better now so I decided to venture out for lunch today. My colleagues took me to his hawker centre about 10 minutes walk from my office. I have to admit, I was quite surprised to see such set-up amidst the Singapore Central Business District.

It’s does feels weird having to celebrate my birthday with crutches. After dinner, I had to pick up my additional legs and the guy at the restaurant looked at me in a funny way…

Oh yeah… another year older wiser for me… spent in the little red dot…

Friday is here… let me share something that I came up with…

What is physiotherapy?

“It’s nurses in uniform making you go… ohh, ohhh, ahh, uhhhhhhh, ahhh, ahhh, hmmmmm…. Ahhh ahhhh…..hmmmmm…argghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” – Zewt

Have a brilliant weekend



1 year ago… Some Malaysians are brainless morons

2 years ago… 30 things we learned when we turned 30

The maiden Singapore lunch time experience

I managed to walk much better now so I decided to venture out for lunch today. My colleagues took me to his hawker centre about 10 minutes walk from my office. I have to admit, I was quite surprised to see such set-up amidst the Singapore Central Business District.

I would say this hawker centre is akin to the mamak area in Damansara Uptown. It’s indoor, the stalls are all systematically arranged. Of course, I experienced first hand the famous Singapore tissue-for-the-seat policy.

For the uninformed – here in Singapore, you can ‘reserve’ a seat at the food court (in this case, the hawker centre) by placing your tissue on the seat. Once it is there, no one will take your seat.

Some may ridicule it and some say it makes no sense to allow people to reserve seat in such a manner. Well, I suppose this is just another glimpse on Singapore’s structured way of doing things. I am not complaining, I get walk around scouting for food knowing my seat is well reserved by a pack of tissue paper.

SGD3 for chicken and roast pork rice. Not exactly the best but it’s certainly edible. If it’s just chicken rice, it will be SGD2.50… such price for a place right smack in the middle of the Central Business District.

I just think that lunch is so affordable.

Don’t convert, because generally, the pay in Singapore is dollar-to-dollar on par with Malaysia. That is to say, someone who is earning MYR5,000 in Malaysia will earn SGD5,000 in Singapore. So when you pay MYR5 (or MYR8.90 in a nice food court) with Malaysian salary versus paying SGD3 with Singapore salary… which one is more expensive?

But don’t worry, the great 10th Malaysian Plan is going to go ahead and it’s going to transform Malaysia into a high-income economy. With that grand plan, I am sure Malaysia will be propelled to greatness, just like how the 9 great Malaysian Plans before it.

I enjoyed my lunch today…


1 year ago… Between pride and necessity

2 years ago… A page before 30

3 years ago… A glimpse from the other side

One week after leaving Malaysia

Having been to Singapore for only a week, the Malaysian connection is obviously still pretty much alive in me. I still log on to TheStar to read about Malaysian sports and keeping a close eye on MalaysiaToday and MalaysianInsider.

As always, I get to read about depressing news such as the father or the alleged jet engine thief claiming abuse… United Nations condemning Malaysia… MYR40m being spent on some electric train which has now been derailed, etc. All these on top information I read about Malaysia made available to me due to the industry I am in, which can also be quite depressing…

Ya’ know… stuff that makes you go… “Malaysia is just so damn fucked-up!”…

On the other hand; since arriving here, I have been greeted with pleasant experiences with cabbies… cars deliberately stopping for me to cross the street… impressive service being rendered when I went for physio in Singapore General Hospital (a govt hospital)… wife went to the wet market and came back with nothing but praises on friendliness and cleanliness…

All these gave me a glimpse of why most Malaysians who have left Malaysia, will end up not giving a damn on what is happening back “home”.

For now, I think I will still be very much connected with Malaysia. And I told myself to stay connected and not lose sight. But then again, it has only been a week.

What will happen 6 months down the road?... only time will tell…


1 year ago… He asked 5 times

2 years ago… Pelbagai lawak menuntut rebat

3 years ago… Those typo experiences… A Zimbabwean tale

Singapore cabbies

They are just so nice! Perhaps it’s a norm, perhaps it’s because I am walking on crutches, but they have been patiently helpful. 7 is the amount of times I have taken a cab since I arrived in Singapore and the ratio of good cabbies is 100%.

As you can imagine – me being on crutches and not being able to bend my knee that much, getting in and out of cabs will take some time. All of them told me to take my time to get in and get out. Not a single cab driver rushed me.

2 of them were kind enough to adjust the passenger seat themselves so that I can get more leg room. That’s not all…

It was raining and 1 of them got down from his cab and held the umbrella while I position myself to get out from the cab. He even told me to be happy always so that recovery process will be faster. Unbelievable…

But the cab who took me back to my apartment yesterday certain took the cherry. After paying him, he asked me if I can get off on the right side. Since the surgery is on my left knee, getting off on the right is not preferred.

I told him “no” and he then asked me to stay in the vehicle. He got off from his cab, walked to the left side of the vehicle, stopped the traffic (there were quite a lot of cars passing the left side of the cab) and opened the door for me to get off. He then made sure that I got onto the pavement before getting back to his cab.

I cannot imagine how it would be if I have to take cabs in KL.

Right now, some of you might be thinking that Zewt has travelled to Singapore and will begin to criticise Malaysia more and will fail to appreciate Malaysia as his homeland.

It’s not about criticising. I think the curse that is currently upon Malaysian is that, mediocrity has become so common, it is acceptable.

Staying within the same notion, it should not be the case where I am surprise at the service level I getting by Singapore cabbies. This is how things should be. On the contrary, Malaysians should be astonished at the atrocious service and treatment by Malaysian cabbies. But no, it has become a norm, it has become a lifestyle.

Of course, there is the all time favourite “there is nothing we can do” phrase. While that carries some truth, change it is not entirely beyond Malaysians’ grasp. I am sure you know what I am talking about.

Anyway – if you are to ask me how is Singapore so far. Well, let’s just say the first impression has been great.


1 year ago… The 500th rhyme

3 years ago… Of hip hop, diet and a search

The surgery experience

After being admitted, I “checked-in” to my room and took a nap. A nurse came and took some blood, my temperature and checked my blood-pressure.

The anaesthetist then came to ask me how I want to be sedated, on which I decided on spinal anaesthesia. I found out on the day I checked out that he charged me MYR120 as consultation for that 2-3 minutes conversation and another MYR2,000 for that anaesthetic injection.

Lunch was then served. I was only given lunch because I didn’t opt for general anaesthetic. I was then asked to change into the operating gown. Felt exposed.

At about 2 p.m., 2 nurses came to take me. After climbing onto the bed, I was asked to confirm that it was my signature on a couple of documents. They then asked me what my name is where I must answer in full. They then fetched me to the operating theatre.

It was very cold. The nurse told me that the winter-like condition is to control bacteria population. Trust me, it was freezing. When I climbed onto the operating table, I felt as though I was lying on ice.

The surgeon, Dr Gan, came in and said hello to me. The next thing I knew, he was on his way already.

The procedure involved harvesting of a hamstring tendon from my right leg and another small fraction of tendon from my injured left thigh to replace the torn Anterior Cruciate Ligament (“ACL”) of my left knee.

This involved drilling into my knee to implant the harvested tendon and securing them to the drilled holes via titanium screws. As the MRI showed damages to the meniscus and knee cap, Dr. Gan also performed some repair work.

I was awake the whole time and watched the entire surgery that lasted almost 2 hours.

Have to honest, I felt a bit dazed coming out from the operating theatre. After dinner, the anaesthetic started to wear off and the pain announced its arrival. I can't really take pain killers due to my kidney condition so it was hell for me.

I was literally screaming in pain and asked for 2 sleeping pills to knock me off in order to bring me some peace…


1 year ago… Disparities, Insanities, Inhumanities… A different type of pageant

2 years ago… Walk the talk

Greetings from Singapore

I have been so occupied with the surgery and physiotherapy, I didn’t really had the time to let it sink into me that I have actually left the country, possibly for good. The only time I thought about leaving was wondering whether I could make it up the plane with my legs full of plasters and me walking in crutches.

Anyway… yes… I made it, and I am now in Singapore. Normally, people are given about 1 month MC for this surgery but I will have to report to work tomorrow. Well, it’s a new job, I don’t quite have a choice. The only saving grace is that my new boss is willing to let me to physio during office hour.

In 2005, I left the Malaysian shore to work in China. At that time, I knew I would return. My plan was to go for only 2 years, though it turned out to be much shorter.

This time though, I left Malaysian shores and I am not quite sure whether I will return. Surely, I may get another transfer back to Malaysia. However, if things go according to plan, I don’t think I will be returning anytime in the near future.

I guess I will find out soon enough whether all those things people talk about Singaporeans are real or otherwise. And of course, I will have first hand experience of the dreaded Singapore working culture.

Surely, there will be plenty to blog about…

People from Singapore… hope to bump into you on the streets!