Do you have a sweaty chest?

I was having lunch with my colleagues when a colleague of mine was talking about her experience in the gym. She is rather plum fleshy and she said that when she works out in the gym, she always sweat a lot in her tummy.

I was a bit puzzled because biologically speaking, your stomach is the first organ to shut down in order to provide more blood to parts of your body which are working out, e.g. hands and legs. If you don’t believe me, try placing your hand on your tummy just bellow your belly button after a good work-out, it’s ice cold as there is no more blood there.

So made my point but she still insisted that her sweat mostly concentrates on her tummy. For me, I generally start to sweat from the chest area and again I made my point. That’s when she gave all of us in the lunch group a very profound statement…

“Aiya, if you sweat at your chest means you’re flat!”

That statement drew a big stare from another colleague… hmmm… I presume she sweats a lot at the chest are during her work out.

To test authenticity of that theory, a bunch of us decided to go to gym a few days later for a good work out and while I can't really confirm whether only the flat ones sweat at the chest… the… well… bumpy ones surely ended up with dry chest… very dry chest.

Further lunch discussions suggest another reason why the bumpy ones are able to maintain a dry chest during work out. That is… it must be due to a very good central irrigation system. And probably that is why my colleague said she only sweats in her tummy.

So… do you have a sweaty chest? Or sweaty tummy?

A time travelling twist

I remember when I used to stay up in the middle of the night studying for SPM ages ago, I used to leave the radio on to keep me company. My favourite station then was the good ‘ol Radio 4, probably the hottest English radio station at that time. And on one of the night, the DJ was getting listeners to call in and talk about the question of the day.

The question of the day then was… “If you have the chance to travel back in time and allowed to change one thing in your life, what would it be?”

This is quite a normal question to ask, and probably something that always crop up in our mind, particularly in time of reflection. Have you ever thought of one thing that you intend to change?

Anyway, in true zewt fashion, I would like to twist the question and ponder on a similar yet different manner. And the zewtinised scenario of a similar notion is…

If one day, you bump into yourself returning from the future and telling you to take a certain course of action, would you do it?

Yes, you’re not the one travelling back in time but you’re the one whom your future travelled back to. Would you alter your future based on… your future?

P/S: A new domain has been bought and may spring into action real soon. Get ready to alter your links… Oh… anyone keen to design me a new banner? Hehe…

More struggles

A friend of Jules’ family called and said he has colon cancer. This sort of sparked a sudden need to get our colon-scope done. Mothers of 2 friends of mine have just gone through surgery for cancer and are now currently receiving treatment. 2 of my friends had cancer scare a few months ago.

I was at the clinic this morning seeking treatment for my injured toe and one lady walked out of the room telling her friends that the doctor suspects something. Another girl went in and came out needed to take x-ray and she wasn’t really looking very happy.

Such things never use to affect me, not at all. Maybe it’s because I have not had that many people around me getting sick. But things have certainly changed. Is it because I have suddenly come to realisation of the fragility of life? Or have I reached an age where such things are common and will become more pertinent in times to come… ?

One thing for sure, life is fragile and in the light of our current environment, the food we eat, the air we breath… and top that up with the attitude we carry, there may already be cracks.

After all the good feelings I had in the past weeks, I am now again being brought back to earth and will be heading to a specialist clinic again tomorrow for consultation on another medical complication. Why can't I just be healthy…?
While I sit here and struggle between faith in God and limited medical knowledge I have that clouds my human understanding, I feel lost… longing for that mustard seed size faith. The anxiety I had a just a few months ago seems so near again. I am awaken in the middle of the night, panting for breath… heart raced. I wonder if the struggles and the fights for what seems to be a bright future are worthwhile.

Hebrews 11:1
“Now faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of things you do not see”

What if you don’t even know what exactly you’re hoping for? What if… at times… at the back of your mind, you hope for death?

I truly wish that all your people out there will have the pinkest of health.

Zewt seeks your counsel

6 months ago, a few blogger-mates were getting their own domain and they also mentioned that I should get one too. Johnson my “twin” then said he is willing to host it for me free of charge. It’s certainly an offer not to be missed.

It was then I did a search for my most preferred domain name, zewt.com but lo and behold, that address was then being sold for US$1,925! Even if I was willing to pay that amount for my very own domain, Jules would have killed me.

Anyway, the idea of getting my own domain has again cropped up my mind and you know what? Zewt.com has been bought over and it’s now an online website for a Turkish internet solutions company. So even if want to pay US$1,925 now, I will not get my preferred zewt.com domain. I suggested zewt.net but my twin said people generally remember dot-com instead of dot-net.

My next preferred version is azaig.com but then bongkersz said that taking out the word zewt from the name will take out some sting. Well, just so many things to consider and hey… why don’t you tell me what is a good domain name? Come... cast your vote please...

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Acts of reflection and sincerity of love --- the evolution

It is Chinese custom for the groom to pick up the bride on the wedding date as a symbolic act of bringing the bride back to the groom’s dwelling place. This custom is called “jip san leong” (pick the bride). When the groom reaches the bride’s place, it is also customary for the groom and his comrades (i.e. hend dais) to perform certain acts as a “reflection and sincerity”. These acts are performed based on the instructions from the bride’s comrades… made up of… girls…

So traditionally, the groom, with the help of his comrades were often asked to do things like… write a poem… sing a song… do a dance… shout “I love you” on the top of their lungs. Over time, such sentimental acts evolved into more torturous exercises such as eating fear-factor-like stuff (which the girls will literally stuff it into your mouth and shout “eat, eat, eat!!”), climbing stairs when the bride lives in an apartment (I have done this before) and getting our legs waxed.

Lo and behold, these acts have again evolved. There are no more poem writings and song singing. While the groom and his comrades are still required to endeavour torturous encounters, there is now a new breed of ‘performance’ that needs to put up… new things to do as a ‘reflection and sincerity’ of the groom.

What are they…?

During my “jip san leong” ceremony, I was asked to lie down on the floor and a few of my comrades were asked to do push up… on top of me. This may appear to be an endurance test, as only the ‘prosperous’ guys were chosen. But as most of you may know, when one is tired during push-ups and wants to cheat, one will tend to only push with one’s hip while the hands remain stagnant. Imagine my comrades, pushing with their hips on top of me…

See my friend’s reaction from all the pushing… err… I mean push-ups…
Another one which is fast becoming the “jip san leong” top 10 in recent times is what I call the eat-it-from-his-crotch act. This is when cherries or grapes are strapped onto the groom’s hip with a huge concentration of the chosen fruit on this crotch. Thereafter, the comrades are to eat those fruits without using their hands.

Cherries and grapes may be replaced with the ultimate fruit… bananas. This is a tough one as the comrades will be asked not only to eat the bananas, but to peel them first… with their mouth of course. While this is happening, you can actually hear girls giggle behind the scene and occasionally you can hear… “it’s getting up” from the background…

I was part of the “jip-san-leong” contingent early this month and I have to say, there was this particular act really came up top. After doing some stuff which include eating wasabi-filled biscuits off a guy’s mouth, passing a slice of seed-weed around with our mouth and dancing around in thongs (worn on top of our pants lah, what were you thinking?)… 8 guys were chosen (and thank God I was not one of them).

Next, I saw the girls came out with eggs placed inside plastic bags, those which the hawkers used to pack food. These plastic bags filled with 2 eggs were then strapped around the guys waste with the bags covering the crotch. Yes, the crotch is indeed girls’ centre of attention. So guys, don’t feel guilty if boobs is the centre of your attention.

The chosen ones are to break the eggs without the use of their hands or touch any other thing. Well, there’s a consolation… they can touch each other. Due to the location of those eggs, kicking is out of the question. 2 chosen ones attempted the frontal humping movement but the eggs refused to give way, the impact just isn’t strong enough. That’s when I heard “backside lah… backside lah” coming from the girls… let’s just say I am so glad I was not chosen.

So... we can conclude that based on the latest trend of actions that the girls want guys to do as a “reflection and sincerity” of the groom’s love… a guy should try not to use the hands and master the art of doing things with the mouth. But one thing for sure, I am sure the bride wouldn’t want the groom to break his eggs.

Thank you all you lovely people for giving me 200k hits!!
Have a lovely weekend!

30 things we learned when we turn 30

I’ve learned that the day you stop growing (physically), is the day you start aging… scary eh?

I’ve learned that after you’ve dreamt of life after school, you will soon dream about going back to school.

I’ve learned that loving someone when you’re a student and loving someone when you’re working is whole new experience.

I’ve learned that most people who left school believing they will marry their high-school-sweet-heart usually end up with a college-sweet-heart and then an office-sweet-heart.

I’ve learned that being a nice guy is the fastest to lose a girl. And this is why there are so very the super many people out there say… “he is a nice guy but he just can't get a gf”. Be a jerk and girls will go after you.

I’ve learned that in a full platonic boy-girl friendship, the guy will still hump the girl if she walks out of a shower and drop the towel. The only way a guy can get out of it is to rush to the toilet immediately to perform a vigorous hand exercise. If the guy can remain calm, then the girl is really ugly.

I’ve learned that girls who say they are not money minded and are happy with their bf driving a proton mostly (note the word mostly) those who have yet to be pursued by a hunk driving a 5-series. Or…errr… maybe they know a hunk driving a 5-series will not be pursuing her.
I’ve learned that people who always complain about work and always talking about wanting to resign will end up the last to leave amongst their peers… if they ever leave.

I’ve learned that in the corporate world, money is everything, the rest are all bullshit.

I’ve learned that those company loyalists are mostly those who can't find a job somewhere else. Only the competent people leave.

I’ve learned that if it indeed not easy to put your foot down and tell your boss that you need to go home on time but if you do it frequent enough, it will become your routine and your boss won’t even feel it.

I’ve learned that people always work hard to save enough money for their future but they don’t know realise that they may not be around in the future. We are not invincible and we will always learn the saying “we sacrifice health for wealth and then wealth for health” the hard way. We are just a stubborn bunch.

I’ve learned that Malaysians who think Malaysia is a food heaven are those who have yet to visit Italy.
I’ve learned that you can always do better in your next relationship if you fail your current one you will never ever be able to redeem yourself with your parents. I… cannot… stress… this… enough!!

Last but not least, I’ve learned that my God is the only being in existence who can make me eat my words do the things I swear I will never do and He is a humorous God (though sometimes freaky), else he wouldn’t have created me. But I know He loves me nonetheless.

For the other 15 things, check out my twin’s entry…

A page before 30

In slightly less than 24 hours, I will have to bid my 20s farewell and welcome a whole new adventure… life in the 30s… the bid 3-O. To me, it has been an eventful time. I spent some time reflecting on my life and realised how blessed I am. I may not have the best things in life… perhaps not yet, but I will never exchange it for anything else.

If I am given the chance to relive a period of my life, it will definitely be my secondary school days. Those were the formative days of my life, the times when I learned so much, a time when I felt I finally blossomed. I must say, huge credit has to be given to this organisation called… The Boys’ Brigade (“BB”)

Being born into a very notorious neighbour led to my Mom locking me in the house and not allowing me to mix with others in the area. But all that changed when I hit 13, the year I entered secondary school. I told parents that I will be kicked out of school if I don’t join any uniform organisation. I lied, there was no such rule and I merely want to join BB.

It was in BB that I learned so many things. From sports to music to other skills, my life was transformed, literally. It was also a time when I developed in character. It was also the time I got to be on stage doing something I truly enjoy… performing arts, be it acting or singing. It was also in BB that my face appeared in the papers.

Without BB, I don’t think I will be who I am today. It was also the time when I first heard about God and accepted Christ. It also got my church life going and gave me many beautiful memories.

Sad to say, BB is slowly dying. Being in uniform and standing in the sun on a Saturday afternoon doing marching is no longer cool. Going camping and spending nights in the jungle acting all macho is no longer cool. “Cool-ness” is now defined by what kind of gadgets you have, how expensive are your garments and having non-mamak coffee.

Then it was time to leave school. My father wanted me to start working after form 5 because that’s what all my cousins did. They were doing quite well earning a nominal income and a having typical Chinese parents means I am to start making money as soon as possible. I remember crying and begging and then I threw a big tantrum saying that I will not work but I will study. I managed to get my message across, a decision my father never regrets.

I still remember it as thought it was only yesterday… the euphoria of entering college, no more school uniform, long breaks in between classes and of course… girls!!! Coming from an all-boys school, college life was like a whole new world. But it was bad, results in college were not as good as though I used to get in school… far from it. Guess freedom did a big damage there.

Thank God I still managed to get into Uni and due to the financial crisis then, I did a twinning programme with UK. I remember my father’s eyes nearly popped out of his eyes when I told him how much everything will cost. But I guess getting partial scholarship helped a lot. I also got a bit funding from an association of former BB-members.
I remember feeling really big after graduating, as though I can conquer the world. I was wrong, the end of education life is the beginning of life in the real world. I have written quite a number of entries on life as a modern slave so I guess I don’t really need to go there.

But besides the hard work and late night and feeling so small working in a big corporation, I have to say one thing… being in a relationship with someone as a working individual as compared to being in a relationship as a student are two distinct realms. Life is no longer about taking the bus together or sharing the same plate of meal or helping each other with homework. It’s now a whole new phase in life. I am sure many of you will agree with me on this.

As I journeyed through my 20s, life taught me a lesson I will never forget… no matter how you feel towards your parents… always cherish them. Mom left me all in a sudden a little more than a year ago no matter how much time has passed or will pass, it will never take away the pain. If you screw up in a relationship with a guy/girl, you can make amend in the next one but with mothers, you only have one chance. Don’t screw it up!

Sad stories aside, one of the highs of my 20s is none other than meeting Jules. I first saw her in a dance club during my party animal days but we didn’t really talk until very much later. Things blossomed from our very first lunch date at McDonalds and the rest as they say… is history.
Of course, the latest sequence of events has taught me that life is indeed fragile and we are not to live as though we are invincible. But the beauty of it all is that God has brought me back to the light amidst it all. Perhaps everything is the work of His hands. Regardless, I thank Him for sustaining me for almost 30 years and I know in faith, that He will sustain me for many more to come.

P/S: For those of you who have been asking me to post pictures of yours truly, I hope this is more than enough.

P/S/S: New poll out… vote vote vote…

Healing of the soul

It’s Friday tomorrow and usually it will be a time for Friday Frolics. Not this week though. But hey… didn’t my previous entry made it seems as though Friday came early as some of you have commented?

Over the last 3 nights, I have been attending revival meetings at a church I once despised and perhaps, even made an unconscious effort to condemn it. Guess this is another work of God… making me go back to the place I so hate to seek Him. That is irony at its highest level and this is why I have not been blogging that much this week.

Anyway, it has been a long while since I experienced the presence of God and on the first night… true enough, I was not sensitive enough to feel His presence.

The second night, I tried to be more open and I felt a bit… during worship.
But yesterday, which was the third night… was explosive. There was an altar call for healing and I went. A friend of mine, whom once I held a bit of grudge, came and prayed for me and that’s when I fell under the power of the Holy Spirit and cried like a baby on the floor. There were a lot of crying and shaking and feeling as though I was struck by winter but I shall not elaborate on that. It’s between me and God.

But I have to say, one of the most liberating feeling is to tell that friend who prayed for me that I am not angry at him anymore. Truly liberating indeed. Also, I felt a lot of things were taken away from my heart, particularly worries, something which many of us live with.

He may not have healed my body (I may not know it yet)… but He hath truly healed my soul. To God be all glory.

P/S: Since Friday is on the way… might as well throw in some laughter material… on the second night, when I was kneeling down with my head facing the floor, the pastor said something about releasing something… and immediately… you know what happened? The person kneeling in front of me farted… right... in front… of my face…

Pelbagai lawak menuntut rebat

3 hari telah berlalu semenjak bermulanya tarikh untuk menuntut rebat petrol. Dengan harapan agar kebanyakan rakyat telahpun menuntut rebat mereka, saya melawat Pejabat Pos yang berhampiran untuk menuntut rebat petrol saya.

Dari jauh, nampaknya Pejabat Pos tersebut bukannya terlalu sesak. Syukurlah, tiada orang beratur sampai ke tempat letak mereka seperti yang dipaparkan dalam surat khabar. Setelah mengisi borang yang disediakan, saya terus mengambil nombor giliran…
57 pelanggan sebelum saya akan dilayani, terpaksa-lah saya duduk bersendirian menunggu giliran. Oh, untuk mereka yang layak dan masih lagi belum menuntut rebat, borang yang perlu diisi bukannya borang khas untuk rebat tetapi borang kiriman wang. Kononnya, tiada borang yang sesuai lagi maka, gunalah borang kiriman wang. Itupun, salinan fotostat sahaja.

Semasa menunggu giliran, saya dapat perhati macam-macam ragam orang yang datang menuntut rebat mereka…

Ada yang telah sabar tunggu begitu lama… apabila sampai dekat kaunter, hanya nak beli 1 keping setem 30 sen. Tunggu begitu lama hanya nak beli 1 setem! Pengsan saya…

Ada yang sampai dekat kaunter, serahkan borang and kad pengenalan… pegawai tanya…
“Encik bila renew road tax?”
“Bolan enlam”
“Bulan enam tak boleh lah encik. Hanya untuk road tax bulan April dan Mei saja”
“Hah! Bolan enlam tak boleh kah?”
“Tak boleh…”
Dengan muka yang kecewa, encik itu meninggalkan kaunter sambil berkata… “yau mo kau cho ah”.
Kawan-kawan, hanya mereka yang telah membaharui lessen jalan dalam bulan April dan Mei sahaja yang layak menuntut rebat. Bolan enlam, lujuh, lapan, similan, sipuloh somma belum lagi.
Ada yang datang dan terus pergi ke kaunter untuk mengambil borang. Aiyoh… bukalah mata besar sikit, banyak borang kat pintu dan banyak orang masih mengisi borang dekat sana. Tak boleh ambil borang dari sana ke? Biasanya, orang yang macam ni akan pergi ke kaunter dan tanya…
“May I have some forms please… I want to make my petrol claim”
Orang macam tu lah…faham?

Antara lawak-lawak yang di atas, terdapat satu yang memang tidak dapat ditandingi. Mereka ialah golongan yang nampak resah… macam sudah hilang kesabaran… muka sudah nampak marah… mata menolek ke jam tangan beberapa kali… geling kepala tak berhenti-henti setiap kali nombor dipanggil… tapi, apabila sampai ke giliran mereka… bontot macam berat sangat. Lepas tu, jalan dari kerusi ke kaunter macam model antarabangsa. Aiyoohhh… kalau tahu sudah tunggu lama, jalanlah cepat sikit, janganlah jalan macam ‘catwalk’ ke kaunter!

Setelah menunggu lebih-kurang 40 minit, sampailah giliran saya. Walaupun sudah tunggu 40 minit lebih, saya ingin kata, proses menuntut rebat cukup pantas. Masa dari nombor giliran saya dipanggil sampai dapat duit, 48 saat. Tetapi, saya taklah jalan macam model. 48 saat, sungguh mengkagumkan.

Ingat ya… bolan enlam, lapan, similan dan sipuloh masih belum layak tuntut rebat lagi ya…

Remembering Fathers

My pastor made a joke about Fathers’ day and Mothers’ Day today. He said most of us grew up singing the song “shi shang je you ma ma hao…” (Mother is the best in the world). So we’re really accustomed to motherly love. It sort of like built into my sub-conscious mind.

What about fathers? When it comes to father, the song we all learned was … “ge ren lai, jao ba-ba, ba-ba bu jai jia”… (Guest came, look for dad, dad not at home). Not very convincing isn’t it?

Joke aside, we cannot undermine the love of fathers. I have many friends (myself included), who aren’t very close with our fathers. Perhaps it is the culture that we grew up in. Whatever it is, their sacrifice, just like mothers’, is beyond any word can describe.

As we remember our earthly fathers today, I would also like to pray tribute to my heavenly father who made the greatest sacrifice ever. And it is good that we actually have a song that speaks about the Father’s love… one that made me tear… enjoy…

Happy Fathers’ Day to all Fathers.

Walk the talk

After giving that speech on environment last week, some of my colleagues have been talking about our ‘tah pau’ habit. You see, a few of us pack food from the hawker quite regularly and I was making fun about how we have been damaging the environment with the styro-foam containers and plastic bags. Today, we finally changed that…
…
…
…
About 4 of us who packs regularly and assuming that we pack 3 days in a week, we now effectively cut down on 12 styro-foam packets and 12 plastic bags every week. That is less 48 styro-foam containers and plastic bags down the rubbish dump every month and that is 576 styro-foam containers and plastic bags in a year!

One colleague who just returned from her honeymoon missed out on this initiative and she failed today, but I am sure she will join us in this mini effort from now on. I have to say, everyone was staring at me when I walked to the stored in my plastic container. I wonder what went through their mind.

Anyway, my colleagues would like to reiterate that they are doing this NOT because they are inspired by my speech. They just choose to do it.

Done anything to change the world lately?

P/S: Early this week said no petrol increase till March 2009. Today said no petrol increase at least till end of the year. My friend still think there will be another increase in Aug. Who to believe? Who to believe?

Cheap oil cheap cars

3 days without internet connection is why I have been away in case you’re curious. Anyway, this picture is the hottest forwarded e-mail in the past few days in the wake of the recent petrol hike.
RM0.16 for a litre of petrol!!! I think all us car-whores out there will be foaming in the mouth, or have multiple orgasm each time we fill out our tank.

But seriously, have you ever wondered how things will turn out if we really have cheap petrol? Maybe not RM0.16 per litre, that is really ridiculous. Let’s say the price in our good ‘ol Malaysia is about… RM0.50 per litre. Yes… brings an instant smile to your face isn’t it?

And to top that up, what if the govt really decides to lift the tariffs on imported cars? That’s right, imagine the price of a Civic or a Altis is about RM70,000. And with just RM50,000; or lower, you get yourself a brand new Honda City or Toyota Vios. Getting a hard-on just by reading that, isn’t it?

It’s like a dream come true isn’t it? Most of us here would probably be driving at least a City or a Vios and for those who are a little more fortunate, will be behind the wheel of a Civic or Altis already. Those who are willing to squeeze the wallet a bit will probably be roaming around in Accords, Camries and not to mention the BMs and Mercz, which I am sure many will do. And I don’t need to remind you… petrol is only RM0.50 per litre.

But wait, when the price of those cars come down, it is only natural that prices of domestic products be made cheaper in line with the above prices. If the above is made possible, then I think the price of Proton cars will be in the region of RM20k – RM35k. Can you imagine how much a Perodua Kelisa or Viva will cost? Probably around RM11k – RM15k?

If… just if the above becomes a reality, what do you think will happen? Do you seriously think you will enjoying yourself on the road? With every Tom Dick Harry Mary Jean Jane and your maid’s secret bf can afford a car, how do you think the traffic jam will be like? How big do you think the population of rempits will be? Heck, do you think the rempits will roam the streets at night in bikes?

I shall leave it to your wonderful imagination on what will happen if the above is a reality. I am sure you all have an idea or two…