I guess they got fed up and ended up sending us a mail listing all the Do’s and Don’ts when a fire occurs. Here’s the list… and what will probably happen…
Listen to the Fire Marshalls for instructions and advices.
(Who’s the Fire Marchall? Oh wait… we have a Fire Marshall?)
Upon hearing the alarm or PA system, look for your Fire Marshalls for further instruction and advice.
(Upon hearing the alarm, the first thing that comes to mind is … yay! No need to work! Who cares about the Fire Marshall. Ok, now I know we have a Fire Marshall.)
Take care of your personal belongings during evacuation.
(Everything can be left behind except our car keys… even if the car is in the building)
Secure your work area by ensuring that all drawers and cabinets are locked accordingly.
(WTF! So the office documents are more important than our lives? And aren’t they gonna get burnt anyway?)
Immediately inform your Fire Marshall should there be any sick or disabled personnel in your Level.
(If I am sick... Do I get to use the lift? ... ... Ok.. I am sick)
Walk in an orderly form.
(Of course, this is the best time to walk together with your colleagues and bitch about your superior)
Ensure your personal safety.
(Which is why we will take our own sweet time)
Be aware of the location of the assembly area.
(Make that the nearest mamak and we’ll definitely be there)
Queue up at the assembly area accordingly.
(With our ‘teh tarik’ and ‘maggi goreng’… how to queue?)
Cooperate with your Fire Marshalls when roll call is conducted at the assembly area.
(This is the best time to check out what’s the name of that hot babe from other department)
Move fast from the office to the assembly area & vice versa.
(Vice versa? There’s a fire and you want us to move back to the building?)
Do not panic when the alarm is sounded.
(Panic? C’mon, we’re ecstatic! No need to work ya’ know!)
Do not make noise as you may not be able to hear the announcement.
(Oh darn… no celebration)
Do not run as this may cause a stampede.
(Where have you seen Malaysians run during a fire or fire drill? We always take our own sweet time.)
Do not linger around the building area during a fire drill, gather at the assembly area.
(Aiyoo… how many times must I say this… mamak! The keyword is mamak!)
Do not leave the assembly area during roll call so that your Fire Marshall could conduct roll call with ease.
(If possible, we won’t leave until office hour is over)
If you laugh… you’re probably a true blue Malaysian.
P/S: For the benefit of non-Malaysians... "mamak" is a store by the road-side where Malaysians take a break... generally speaking.