Tuesday, 5 June 2007

The reason why…

“Hey bro, why are you so angry? Why so against working hard?”

Someone asked me that a few days ago, he was referring to my entries on modern slavery…my relentless attack on employers making their slaves employees working extra hours without proper compensation. Honestly… why am I so against working late? Why am I so against working over-time?

Have you all ever wondered? Are you all curious? Or you all just assume that I am a lazy person, never wanted to put in the extra effort to build my career.

Do you wanna know why?... Let tell you why…

I officially finish work at 5.45pm from Monday to Thursday. On Friday, the misleading document that I signed states that my office hour ends on 4.45pm. Not bad right? But I have never… I repeat… never left my office on those stipulated time.

The same happened on 20 March 2007, I was supposed to finish work at 5.45pm, but I can't leave on time. By the way, leaving your office at the stipulated time is NOT leaving early… it’s leaving ON TIME! Anyway, on that day, I have to work late because there was much to do. If I remember correctly, there were some queries from London.

I left my office at 8.10pm. I am very sure of the time because as I specifically look at the time in my handphone after I received a call. That call was from my brother, telling me Mom has fainted. When I looked at the time then, it was 8.15pm and I still remember where I was when I took the call. From my office to that spot, the journey will probably take 5 minutes. So working back, I left my office at 8.10pm.

Now, followers of A.Z.A.I.G. will probably know what happened to my Mom. She passed away on 21 March 2007, a day after she collapsed after suffering from cerebral haemorrhage. I have been doing some reading about that condition and also based on some things the doctor told me during those times in the hospital. I have discovered that a person suffering from cerebral haemorrhage needs IMMEDIATE medical attention. If my Mom was discovered early and she was admitted to the hospital quick enough, the doctor would have been able to administer the drug to control the blood pressure sooner and while the chances may still be slim… my Mom could have survived. Or at least, I would have been able to at least speak to my mom more because the first few minutes after cerebral haemorrhage, patients are said to be still conscious. But when I reached home after my brother’s call, my mom was no longer responding to anything.

My Mom used to pray everyday at 7.00pm, and it usually last for about 45 minutes, which means by 7.45pm, she would have completed her prayer. When I reached home, Mom was still in her praying costume and my brother informed me that he found mom on the floor, in a kneeling position.

Question of the day… what time did my Mom collapse? Yeah, it should be any time between 7.00pm to 7.45pm. But she was not found until 8.15pm and by the time we admitted her to the hospital, it was probably 8.40pm. By the time the drug was administered to her, it could have been 9.00pm. Based on a worst case scenario, if Mom collapsed at 7.05pm, that was almost 2 hour after she collapsed… that’s too late already.

Now… I am supposed to finish work at 5.45pm and since I am blessed with the fact that I can reach home within 15 minutes, I should have been home at 6.00pm, 6.10pm latest. I should have been able to send my mom as soon as she collapsed. Even if that fail to save her life, I could have at least have a last short conversation with her… something like… “What’s for dinner?”… “This tastes good… or bad”.

But no… that didn’t happen…

Why?

Because I worked late… no, I didn’t get any over-time claim… I don’t get to claim any meal allowance. All I get is that I can tell people I have some high level report to London to complete and that I have tele-conference with the British regularly.

Yeah, this is a personal battle between me and working late… all because I feel the cost I paid was too much to bear, and it is something that will scar me forever. No money or fame can replace the hurt I feel, the lost I experience.

Now do you know why I hate the fact that we are made to work late?

Mom, sorry that I chose the career path ahead of coming home to dine with you, please forgive me.

67 comments:

Bee Ean Tee said...

I think this is all prearranged by God. We always say "if I have known this, I would have..." but there's no such thing. We can't go back and change the fact, so just have to face it.

Come to work in France lah, the contract say work until 6pm, and the office is closed the most at 7pm and everybody has to leave. For unfinish work, you do it at home.

Gina said...

Gawd. I am so sorry to hear that. I would also be angry with myself if the same were to happen to me. We have to learn to let go and not to put blame on anyone, especially ourselves. I know it's hard. Hopefully time heals.

Sam said...

I highly doubt she blames you. So, you shouldn't blame yourself. But you can blame your work. As long as it's not...directly yourself. Cause then, even your mum wouldn't be too happy with that.

Jia You, become Prime Minister and jail everybody who makes others work overtime =)

angel said...

I could feel the hurt through your words and I hope that in time, you'll learn to let go of the guilt inside you. *hugs*

narrowband said...

Oh man, such a dilemma. Too much work (most of the time urgent?), sometimes can't leave early. That sucks... so what should I do :(

day-dreamer said...

Oh Zewt, as much as I sympathize with what you're currently going through, I really hope you won't put the blame entirely on yourself. I know you feel guilty. I know you feel bad. But I'm sure that Auntie will not like that if she can see you from up there.

Anyway, you do have your point about anti-working late. But to some others, that's the only way to get things done. If this is not settled today, tomorrow another pile comes in and you have to do tomorrow's work plus today's. Blah blah blah, your work will end up stacking mountain high. Well, at least that's what I been through when I worked while waiting for my results.

Stay strong. :)

Acrelaine said...

hmm... its not something u wanted.. and u wudnt expect things like this.. the past is the past... as long as u spend ur valuable time with the ppl around u meaningfully, that's what ur mom wudda wished all these time... she wud be happy i think!.. just like how i think my father wud felt bout me.. so, dont be angry while working.. give everyone a clown face.. wtf

Rashikaps said...

Hey don't blame yourself.. stop punishing yourself. Guilt is a sad emotion.. drains one out. Like 'bee ean tee' said, I also believe it is all predestined. It is God's will over our own. No matter how much we try.. If not at the office, you could have been out with friends, at the gym.. just some place else. Sad but that's how it is.

I understand what you're feeling though - If given a chance to relive a few years, you'd probably have spent more time with your mom. I hope you find peace in knowing that you were a loving son and that she really really cared about you.

A few years ago, my grandmom suffered cerebral haemorrhage, which led to partial paralysis. She lived for close to 2 yrs after that but died a very painful death. We suffered insane amounts losing her slowly, everyday.

I completely agree with you about finding a work/life balance as soon as we all can. Life is passing us by and we're losing out on precious moments.

Firehorse said...

Zewt is is not in your hands, you shud know that. Somethings are just meant to be. When mai grandfather was dying, my 1st uncle sat with him all day for many many days/weeks, never leaving his side, just in case....then my 2nd uncle came back from KL and so my 1st uncle left for a few minutes to buy some food for him, grandpa passed away when 1st uncle was out getting food. It just wasn't meant to be, so dun be too hard on yourself.

J.T. said...

Zewt, I am very sure your mum does not blame you for anything.
Everything happens for a reason. Some people pay a very high price for a lesson in life. I am sorry that losing your mum was the eye-opener for you.

I used to feel guilty that I kept my brother on the phone when he could have been with our mum during her last moments. (I was worried and needed to know what was going on and he could not take the call in her room.) When I told him I felt bad for taking him away when he should have been with mum, he said, "Don't ... because I believe there was a reason why God did not want me in that room." The nurse came out to tell him, while he was talking to me, that mum breathed her last.
Things happen for a reason.

flaminglambo said...

I don't know why everybody is saying don't blame yourself cos' to me, you're clearly blaming the company who made you work back.

Dude,I'm just curious to know what would happen if you stopped work on time and walked out the door? Would they fire you? I mean, if you had to call the UK after hours, doesn't that mean your working hours are technically not what was written in your employment letter?

Kata Tak Nak said...

These companies, they pay you good but they squeeze the life's juice out of you.

Cirnelle said...

Walk out that door on time on each second day of the lunar month...

jaezrel said...

so sad i dont want to die in my office i think im gonna celebrate dads bday this sat........hmph tho i have to work.......shiat*

ah nel said...

u u think back then i much more to think than u...

my mad with my mom don let me watch tv n she paralysed then she asked me passed her smth i just ignored her n walk into the room...i don even hv the chance to say sory or anyting nice b4 she passed away...

i 1st uncle show me a bottle medicine n i asked him for who n he told me for granpa...i told him few month i din go c granpa how was him...he sick my uncle told me he were sick n i don even noe he sick...the next day he passed away when i nvr got the chance to see him o say hi...

tis is life zewt!we cant predict wat can happen later... ;)

Huei said...

she has already forgiven you.

i understand why u're so angry, i would've been to. so sorry to hear that zewt

Jessica said...

There's a balance between work and life. I've gone for an interview recently and to my surprise the interviewer actually told me, you have to balance work and life. Work is not the main priority. Way to go. I'd definitely love to work for this boss in particular.

What has happened is a painful lesson that we all learn, not only for you but for the rest of us. All it takes is a little nudge to do the right thing if you know what I'm talking about. =)

lived-legna said...

I'm sorry for your loss, but I don't think your mum would want you to be feeling this way. I don't know if you're particularly religious or what, hell, I'm not BUT I do believe that when its time to go, God will take us no matter what we do. She's in a happier place Zewt.

jorji said...

hey man..i'm so sorry with the lost.

My principle is always FAMILY FIRST.
To hell with profit and werk etika.
Its not my company and the company NEVER share the profit pun...so,win-win situation.

Kerja ada dimana-mana,anak atau ibu tiada penggantinya.

I'm always on yr side battling the capitalist!

kayatan said...

Zewt,

Please do not blame yourself too much. I am in the health care profession. I knew stroke too well. I personally had one too.

It could be an emboli, it is hard to say unless the autosy confirm it is cerebral hemorrhage of 1st degree.

As a Christian, I believe our life are numbered.

Recently, I lost a coworker, she died in her sleep, next to her granddaughter, she is supposed to have a nap with her.

She died of a stroke, an emboli !

Please don't blame yourself for what has passed. Might be you should sit down, talk to someone who can give you some advice , consider seriously if you are to continue in your career or make change now ? You are still young, you still have time to make changes for your future.

I changed career many times in my life.

I will remember you in my prayer.

Jamy

Rabbit said...

It has been 2 months plus hor? How time pass.

Still, what more can I say. Feel so sorry for you.

From now on no more OT ledi! At 5.30 ready and pack to go home liao! keke!

Charmayne said...

big hugz!

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

hey..i think its over..and blogging about it sometimes just keeps bringing back the old memories and it will haunt you badly..

i think if you read further..its caveated with along those lines of "although the staff must understand due to work commitments, they maybe required to stay beyond working hours".. i know there was somethin like tat when i signed..

all is over mate.. so when we going out to eat?

TingTitLei said...

gamers dont have OT =) in fact OT is like a bonus to gamers hahaha

actually i dont game that much -_-

Elizebeth D.L. said...

Zewt, let it go... you can't rewind & change anything. So, stop blaming yourself and the high level report to London.

And, everything happened for a reason. Cheer up!

PurpLe~MuShRooM said...

Hey Friend, it's all fated lar. Stop blaming your job for this. Imagine this:

If, you got home at 6.15pm that day, and just so happen when your mom collapse, you were there. Then u quickly sent her to the hospital and they administered the drug on time. She survived. But as a result, she was paralysed. Don't you think her life is more suffering this way?

Maybe her Goddess of Mercy made it this way so she departed peacefully without pain. I believe everything happened for a reason.

If everyone in the world is going to blame something for something else that happened... then no one is going to look into themselves for what they have actually done or not done that could make things better.

Stop being like our gomen. Stop blaming something else. Wake up!

Daily Nibbler said...

She could be praying for you and your family that all of you have a good life after her.

I sure hope that you will choose the path suitable for you - its a personal decision that you have to make or plan.

You will have to let go at some point or another. Its tough but hey, don't blame overtime...it could be anything.

Terra Shield said...

I agree... we Asians value work too much that it has a profound (-ve)effect on our personal well being. I say, where is the balance?

Pinkelle said...

I felt so upset reading your post because I've been in your shoes before with regards to working late. I've been made to come from my home 25 km away at 12midnight to finish up stuff till 4am just because the other side was in the UK time zone. It's ridiculous. What makes any company think they own us just because we signed on the dotted line?

What are you planning to do? Gain your own financial freedom?

sooyin said...

Oh Zewt. Your post really touched me. I've always hated working overtime, feeling that it's ridiculous to stay on after the stipulated time as work will always be there. Finish it now, more work will come, finish it later, more work will also come. And we stay back for what? At whose expense? Yet I, and I suspect most of us, do it anyways because it's *expected*.

I think none of us can understand how you feel unless we've experienced the same feeling of...regret(?)...but I hope you don't continue to blame yourself for not being back from work earlier on the day your mom fainted. All this is fate, I suppose, and all the what-ifs and if-onlys won't change what is already in the past. But if even one person decides to say "To hell with my company, I'm leaving on time from now on to spend more time with my wife/kids/family" after reading this post of yours, then something good has already come out of it.

Doreen said...

Working OT is not always good, that means the worker is not efficient efficient enough. I normally knock off on the dot at 4.30pm and my manager leaves before me, but we still a whole good productive team! And hey, we all need a life!

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear about your mom.
No matter what... let bygones be bygones. Don't give up nor blame yourself.

Cheers,
Sugar

rinnah said...

I don't know what to say zewt, except that I hope you get to leave the office on time today (and every day) and live your life in a way that you will have no regrets later on.

alan zed said...

am sorry to hear that... don't blame yourself... she must be worry if you keep blaming yourself... she forgived you long time ago... trust me on this... :)

sooi2 said...

what if u left work early but met an accident that left u crippled for life?

life is too full of what if's and i believe everything had been fated from the beginning of time.

Anonymous said...

Why blame someone/something for your own guilt? If you SO loved your mum, you would have gotten home on OTHER days in time to have dinner or made it a point to talk to her personally or on the phone everyday.

What has happened has happened, harbouring so much hatred is pointless.

Every heard of the saying - Live each day as it would your last day? Or in this case, your loved one's last day?

Much as I sympathise with your loss. Move on..get a grip on life...Why are you moaning about something you can't reverse? I'm sure you can leave work on time, try it. Turn off your computer at 5.45 & walk out- it's not as hard as you think it is.

Twisted Heels said...

I know how you feel. The day my paternal grandma passed away, my father wanted to visit her as usual but I demanded he took me swimming. He never got to be by her side and I felt really guilty back then for being selfish.

Time does heal everything. You should not hate working late, but learning to accept that there are things you can do tomorrow. Probably it's all about priority?

Hope you're feeling better now with all the hugs from the readers :)

zewt said...

Bee Ean Tee - I guess it is. france... well, i would love to. but it's not that easy eh? if i am there, i wanna work for the french govt.

Gina - hi and welcome. yeah, i think i am back at taking a day at a time. thanks for visitin.

sam - yeah, if i am PM, i will amend the whole employment act. make it my priority.

angel - learning it day by day.

narrowband - we are all bound by this slavery unfortunately.

day-dreamer - yeah, work will never finish. but we just never learn our lessons, dont we.

Acrelaine - been showing black face lately... of cos, there were other issues too.

zewt said...

rashikaps - yeah, i can only take comfort from the fact that mom passed away peacefully. it's also one of her many wishes.

firehourse - well, i guess i have to take that... not much of a choice. shall let time heal me.

JT - your bro is very strong. i hope i have some of his strength.

flaminglambo - dont think they will sack me but i will be given tough times and soon, i will be force to leave. yeah, it's never in the letter, which is why it is one of the most misleading document.

kata tak nak - no... they dont even pay us good.

cirnelle - it's 3rd

jaezrel - you are going down the career path already, i can feel it.

Anak Merdeka said...

Zewt, this is your blog lar! Write whatever you want - it's YOUR BLOG! You deserve that much respect at least. So, don't sweat it, ok? ;-)

zewt said...

ah nel - sorry to hear about your mom and grandpa. i must say what you've done to your mom was not very nice. but i know how you feel, i wonder if i would have done the same thing.

Huei - yeah, i really wanna believe so.

Jessica - i think that interviewer may be lying, it's an interview after all. and... work life balance to my boss here means going back at 8. yah, i know what you did and i may just go down that path.

lived-legna - hi and welcome to AZAIG. thanks for your kind words. i am sure she is safe in the hands of God.

jorji - let's battle them together. let's start a movement to create more awareness!!

kayatan - thanks Jamy. i think i need a lot of prayers now... for this and other things too. a lot of things bothering me lately. thank you for your prayers, much appreciated.

Rabbit - yeah... time really flies eh... i still cant believe it has been so long since i last heard her nagging at me...

zewt said...

charmayne - :)

constant craver joe - yeah, perhaps there's a blueprint of that somewhere. guess we are all doomed. soon my friend... a lot of things in my mind lately.

TTL - game more then...

purple mushroom - i am not blaming the company, only myself.

daily nibbler - yeah, it could be anything... guess i am just being too unreasonable.

terra shield - my boss said... work life balance means leaving work at 8. that's balance already.

pinkelle - you see... in the end, we have to go back to office to do it right? that's the irony... we will never say no. i guess all we need to do is to learn how to say no... and stick to it.

zewt said...

elizabeth dl - think the remorse and regret is there. just like some regrets of my past... shall learn to live with it.

alan zed - yeah... i wanna believe that she did... thanks bro.

sooyin - well, let that person be you... :) ... yeah, sometimes, we just have no choice but to stay back. all becos we dunno how to say no.

doreen - hey... you're not in this country... that's easy to say. in this country, the more efficient you are... the more work you will be given. no kidding.

anonymous aka sugar - i shall take your advice...

rinnah - unfortunately, i am still here. life sucks indeed...

sooi2 - yeah, i know what you mean... too many what ifs... but looking back, i can only see one situation... the OT thingy...

anonymous @ 5.16pm - unfortunately... it's quite hard. but then yeah... it all bog down to us to say no and pack and leave... rest assured, i will try to do it more.

twisted heel - yeah, your situation is quite similar to mine. i guess the remorse is still there with me...

anak merdeka - :)... thanks my friend. that was very encouraging indeed. no pun intended.

Tsu Lin said...

I think Malaysians have this wrong pre-conception that working late = working hard. In honest truth, it just means we're not efficient enough to finish our work , or over-working ourselves and don't know how to say No to the superior (labour law doesn't really apply here, does it? :P).

Don't blame yourself for what had happened to your mom, though... "things happen for a reason". At least you now know how much you love her and vice-versa.

AngryYoungChild said...

awwww, zewtt..=( Dont blame yourself k? Im sure she knows u love her very much..

Seok Thong said...

I hate to work OT too. Like "jorji", my principle is FAMILY first too. For me, i want to spend more time with my family rather than work. That's why, i go home very punctual everyday. I try my best to finish my work on the day itself always. If the company don't like that i leave early, just fire me then :P But now, no more OT!!

neno said...

hmmm..wat is over is over..look forward to the future.. :)

Jacss said...

hey zewt, thought d episode was over, why dig that up & upset yourself?? It was already a lesson well learnt so just make sure u do make up with what lies ahead........& not look back!

cheer up bro!!

bergen said...

Thank you for visiting, sir. I believe I'm gonna be a regular to your blog. You keep an interesting one here.

Cheers!

ehon said...

*speechless*

how can? haiyo. now u make me this fantastic talkative crapper ntg to say.

but an eye-opener lar. i wouldn't tell u if ur mother blames u or not, or whatever, i just think ur rationale of thinking is completely logical. it's normal for u to think that way and it is true to an extend. and i learn something! :D

i wanna sleeeeeeeep lar.. haihs. stupid lab report.

zewt said...

Tsu Lin - hello and welcome to AZAIG. yeah... we are bound by that thinking, we all fail to work smart. actually... mostly our bosses and as such, we have to listen to our bosses. yeah, i am trying to let the remorse go away slowly... thanks for visitin!

AngryYoungChild - thanks... i am sure she does...

Seok Thong - i am very very close in firing my company already... but my savings have all been used up for my wedding preparation...

neno - yup... i shall...

Jacss - it came to me yest... just had to mention it.

bergen - hello my friend! wow... that's good compliment my friend... looking forward to see you again...

ehon - i tot you speechless? that's pretty long comment for someone who's speechless :)... i am glad you learn something. go sleep la... i am going to now..

Anonymous said...

Hey Zewt,
time will heal. Let me ask u a question: Do you want to get out of this rat race tht left a scar on you?
If u want, what have u done ? Just a reflection. -Raymond Y-

Anonymous said...

Hey Zewt,
Remember: TIME HEALS EVERYTHING.

P.S.:So jealous so many ppl consoled u including myself..hahahhahahahaha
-Raymond Y-

kyliemc said...

i'm so sorry 2 hear bout ur mum. dun blame urself too much. things happen 4 a reason. *hugs* she would definitely b proud tht she had a son like u...

working late issue is kinda a trouble though...coz it makes lotsa misunderstandings happen...not tht every1 luvs 2 work late without OT but it's within ur responsibility...sumtimes others dun understand tht..i pity my frens who r constantly blamed by parents 4 not returning 2 their hometowns as they hv 2 work on weekends too,sumtimes but actually almost every weekend...poor them

me said...

sigh! don't put everything on your shoulder. it's just the path of fate. even if it wasn't work, you could have been out dating....or playing sports. some things are just meant to be....don't blame it on work. you can't be there for everybody every minute of the day. you hate work because it takes the life out of your life.

erinalaw said...

To me God has got his reason why things happen in such way. Don't blame yourself and I can understand how you feel. I had the same experience like you when my grandma pass away. She asked me if I am staying overnite when I send her some mooncake I made for her. I told her, I got to go back to Penang and the next day I receive a call that she died in her sleep. You can go off at 8plus mah better than me. Last time when I were in the hospitality industry, I go to work at 6am and reach home after 12am.

bongkersz said...

say no to working late!! i also try to minimise my extra working hours.. + - 30 mins :) past is past bro, keep moving on. god bless your mom's soul.

mott said...

hang in there.

don't be too harsh on yourself. When u have ur own lil ones.... I'm sure you'll have your priorities right. You'll be a great dad!

zewt said...

Raymond Y - Yo! yeah... i think i should do something,but i have yet to do it. all i know is rant here, which is bad. haha... dont need to be jealous... u can always start a blog too!

kyliemc - i hope your friends wont have to go through what i went thru. parents are everything ... we just dont know it.

me - yeah, i was thinking, i could have been in the gym! but then again, no one will know...

erinalaw - yeah, work is really killing us. i met one colleague from another unit yest... she said she has been working from 7am till 9pm ... everyday!! for the last 8 years...!!! talk about exploitation!

bongkersz - thanks bro... i will.

mott - :)... those are very encouraging words... will surely keep that close to my heart.

aSstHa said...

hey zewt,

i feel u in a way for this entry. as u know i lost a dear friend recently to the similiar condition as your mom. i'm on my way to recovery altho it's a painful journey. no one should tell u wen you should/shouldn't let go. it'll all happen in due course in ur own time.

funny. i stopped crying after her cremation but now reading ur post bout your mom it's brought me back the memories on how i hate modern slavery. somewhat similiar to u (altho the relation is different but no less personal) i couldn't find the time to go and look for her. i wasn't able to be by her side/her shoulder to cry on wen she was making one of the most difficult and scary decision in her life. i felt like a bad fren as work has robbed me from being there for her wen she needed me (she was there wen i was taking my own painful life changing decision) and i didn't do the same for her. i felt i failed her.

to make matters worse. wen i requested to extend my emergency leave (i took am el for medical checkup for the new job) to a full day leave as i needed to locate her family members (all of whom i hv no contact number, jz know wer to find them) and my supervisor was seriously indifferent and telling me things like "why shud it b your problem?" which really made me resent her.. here my friend has jz died and i'm d only person who can located her family members to inform them so they can do the necessary arrangement.

my dear friend who left this world and a hole in my heart in the process was the one person who believed i could achieve better things than i was in my current position and even went through the lengths of submitting my resume to my soon to be employers and i got the job with my expected salary with my meagre qualification and i owed it all to her. she gave me that first step to take and i will take it and live up to the recommendation she gave me.without her, i wouldn't be able to get out of the comfort zone i've created. so her loss is really significant to me.

i digressed. sorry i turned my comment into a mini blog (yet again). coming back to ur loss. i do agree with the rest of your readers that it was meant to be that way. remember i told u bout "Tuesdays with Morrie"?

well, morrie was dying but he said to the author that when he goes and draws his last breath (i dun tink tat's the proper sentence), he don't want any of his family members to witness it. the image of seeing a loved one exhale their last breath will be etched in the person and it's a burden he do not wish on anyone. it'll haunt their lives forever. he wants to leave happy memories not the memory of his last breath.

oh god... i better stop here. i've taken up so much space as it is.. i'll finish my entry soon u can read it there instead :P

mumsgather said...

What happened, happened and theres no point in disecting it and feeling bad but I'm also with you about this working overtime thingy and no matter how you may be against it, its easier said than done to just pack up and leave at the stipulated time. Sadly, you may just have to pay the price of leaving at the stipulated time during times of bonus, increment or assessment.

kyliemc said...

ya true..guess i better tell them 2 visit their parents soon..it's alwiz better not 2 live wif regrets...thanx 4 ur reminder

zewt said...

aSstHa - you can take as much space as you want my friend. gosh... your supervisor should be really be burn in hell for saying such things. how inhuman... it only shows how horrible this slavery system is... till the extend that human touch are totally set aside! yeah... the feelin of seeing somoene breathing his/her last breath is a life changing experience. i was there when they pull the plug on my mom... i saw the reading in her heart stopped... it changed me forever... ok... i am tearing now.

mumsgather - that is so true... so many ppl ask what is the consequences about leaving early... you just answered that.

kyliemc - always a pleasure ... :)

Anonymous said...

hi bro....

life is short, we can predict anything.... and we just need to do our best and give our best to especially our parent who had scarificed so much for us ......but most of the time we dun appreciate while they still ard and we tend to take them from granted.....

sometime it's too late to repay or show your love to them.....i lost my grandpa 1.5 yrs ago.....i only visited him in the hospital and bought lunch for him when i pay him a visit....but i dun think that's enuf......

a week b4 his left us, my dad n his sibling have a dicussion on how to creamate my grandpa.....at least he knew he is going but he just dun really tell us when....few days after the meeting, grandpa left us. My aunt told him to tahan till chinese new year so that everybody can come back and pay him a visit.... (which just two weeks away) but he left us before that...i think he dun want the family member to see him go........i think your mom also did the same thing.....i think they dun want us to be sad on seeing+ sending them away....

one month b4 his passsing, on my way back to kl frm jb, i did stop by my hometown with my wife to say hi to him and have a short chat.....(which i did everytime i went back to hometown...)

i missed my dear grandpa ....and he is my best frend.....where we can chat abt anything and talk abt his life experience....

I love you grandpa....so sorry for not doing enuf for you.....and u never get to see his grandson gettting married...sorry grandpa and may god blessed u....

it's hard to let go and its take time....its easy said that done....

zewt, move on and learn from ur experience....things happened for a reason....

take k...

zewt said...

anonymous on 9 June - hello friend... thanks for your words of comfort, it has been very refreshing. i know i can never change things. i guess knowng that many ppl out there go thru things i did... makes me realised that life is just...as it is... hope i make some sense. thanks for visitin and hope to see ya around.

friendfromtaiwan said...

I totally agree with you, asians are so fucking obsessed with working late with no overtime and forget family and friends.. its a fucking stupid mentality that comes from inefficent work style and bad habit.. put a stop to it yourself.. finish your work in the proper time and get the hell out of the office , why the heck is everyone so scared to leave first from the office even though everything is done.. all i see are people surfing the net waiting slowly for the rest of their colleagues to finish their MSN'ing or emailing before they start thinking about going back..what a freaking waste of time. Stupid managers who always think that everything is so damn important and cannot wait are a big part of the problem as well, everythign must be done today cannot wait everyone overtime.... die.. next day the same.. kiong gan!

zewt said...

friendfromtaiwan - glad to have you back. and what you said are all but true! they just want to impress their boss, not exactly working...

hope everything is fine with your dad.