A trap on both sides

"I like it cooked this way, more delicious.”
“I know. I prefer this way as well. But your aunt will complain if I cook it this way”
“What’s the difference? It’s still cooked with black bean sauce (min si), it’s just the way it’s being cut!” (referring to a particular bitter-gourd dish)
“Now you know how difficult it is to be your mom, I have to satisfy everyone”

It’s really not easy to be in my mom’s position. I do have my complaints, but I will eat whatever that’s on the table. But my aunt will totally leave the food untouched, and then make passing remarks to my dad, who can also be quite a fussy eater, being a typical canton he is. Then there’s my sister who is quite a health freak. My brother is the best, not a word from him. He is always quick to make mom happy.

Of course, things are different now. There’s no qualified chef around to make everyone happy. Most of the time, the kitchen is left idle. And those few occasions when me or my sister cooked, there was absolutely no complaint from aunt nor dad. They will just eat whatever we can conjure up on the table, and they will even say it’s delicious. Perhaps it’s true. Or perhaps… they realised mom was no longer there to “serve” their individual needs.

One of the ugliest elements of being a human… we are so quick to take things for granted. It is something that we all openly declare that we will not do… is it true? If it is, for how long? How long will it be before we are back into our unappreciative ways?

My mom was kind enough to cook for everyone day in day out, but that’s not enough, we all just have to set our standards and make her life so ever difficult. Now that she is gone, look at us, scrambling our spoons at the pit of a tiny bowl just to have a spoonful of ajinomoto-filled soup, bought from a nearby store. When mom spent hours and hours boiling us love-filled healthy soup, did we even render a word of appreciation? No, we didn’t, we said it was not delicious enough.

Such ugly human scenes happen not only in families, it’s everywhere, be it our working place, our relationships, amongst friends and of course, our country.

Take work for example. Under normal circumstances, we slaves employees in this country seldom gets to leave our office “on time”. Most of us tend to stay for a while, perhaps to clear our work or just do our own research to further equip ourselves. Trying doing this on a regular basis and what do you get? Bosses will then “expect” you to stay back everyday. Yes, you will most certainly be taken for granted such as, work will land on your desk at 6pm and you’re expected to deliver the next morning. Bosses, please do not take your employees for granted. Employees, please do not pamper your boss on a regular basis. Else, you will only have yourself to blame.

In relationships, the word compromise is often abused. In my zewtpinion, there can never be compromise, or at least, there can never be a balanced compromise. One party will tend to give in more, and the other will take it for granted. Try observing the relationships of your friends and you will notice that there will always be a party that will always give in. That’s because one is willing to love unconditionally, and the other is willing to dictate all the conditions. The key is not compromise, it’s acceptance.

The same can be said of friendship. But of course, the scale may be smaller compared to friendships. But I have a friend, he is always the Mr-Nice-Guy, the one who is always willing to fetch every single soul from north, west, east and south just to meet at mid point. What does he get? Calls from everyone to give them a lift whenever there’s a gathering. Perhaps it’s not that apparent now, but I believe it can still happen.

Taking someone for granted and being taken for granted is a trap on both side, and we are all equally guilty in setting those traps. If you be too nice and give in once too often, you will most probably be taken for granted. If you always get your ways, you will most certainly take things for granted. Will we ever stop falling into those traps?

Well, take a knife and slice your hand… if you feel pain and bleed, then you will realise you’re flesh and blood… you’re human and thus, we will always fall into these traps.

Have a good day.