Prioritise life

On first day I returned to work after my compassionate leave, there were many people who came to talk to me and asked me how I was doing, so kind of them. One conversation that hit me was…

“Hey, how are you?”
“I guess I am ok, thanks.”
“Well, suddenly everything else is no longer a priority huh?”
… “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

Priority… what is priority? What is your priority? Is work, your priority?

Not too long ago, I’ve talked about how we employees are all nothing but slaves in the modern society. And it’s ironic, many of us are just so willing to enslave ourselves in this deadly system. Honestly speaking, how many us have told ourselves countless times that we should leave the rat race?

But let’s face the fact… we can't. We have gotten ourselves too deep into race, so much so that it is close to impossible to leave it. I mean, who is going to pay for the bills? And your car instalment… and to some, your house instalment. Indeed, we can't leave the rat race, we have to work. Even if you don’t have a car and a house, you will also need to feed yourself, to survive.

But what lies in our struggle to survive, is the hidden trap of letting work run our lives… letting work become the priority in our lives. When that happens, work supersedes everything else. What’s worse, we work so hard thinking that our lives will be better in the future, not knowing that work has already begun to wreck it. Many perceive that health is the cost in our search for wealth. That is true. But, health is not the only thing we will lose. We will lose so much more, we just don’t realise it.
So often I have let work take centre stage. It has cost me quite a lot. Did my health deteriorate? Well, my hair did drop quite a bit, my tummy did receive enough fertiliser from those late nights at the mamak before heading back to work. But generally, I think my health was and is still very much in control. But I lost so much more. When work was my priority, everything else was secondary. And those secondary things slowly but surely, departed from me, and I will never be able to recover those things anymore.

We are made to believe that when we finally make it in our career, we can then focus on enjoying life. The typical Chinese saying of…”when you’re rich, you’re gonna have all the girls (or guys) you can get, you’re gonna be able to buy your dream car, dream house”. Honestly speaking, that is true. I couldn’t agree more.

I don’t come from a rich family. I have always needed to share room with my brother. My mom told me that if I worked hard and able to buy my own place, I will be able to have my own room. But you know what? I will never be able to know how it feels to have my own room when I am say… 10 years old. I will never be able to know how it feels like to have a computer in my own room while I was a teenager.

Similarly, you may be able to buy your dream car and dream house when you make it in life, but you will never be able to know how it feels to have a decent car and a decent house at a younger age. Indeed, if we don’t work hard, we will never be able to get our dream car and dream house and dream girl (or guy). But how sure are you that by working hard, you will get be rewarded accordingly? Those who have been in the working world long enough will testify that not everyone is rewarded accordingly.

You may be showered with the magical word… “sacrifice”, that if you don’t sacrifice, you will never be rewarded. 3 questions you should ask yourself… 1) Are your sacrifices worth it?... 2) Are you sure… very sure your sacrifices will pay off?… 3) When will your sacrifices pay off?

I think I have deviated a little, because what I am trying to say is that we should never make work the priority in our lives. There are so many other more important things that should take precedent. It took my mom’s death to finally made me realised that. That conversation with my colleague made quite a big difference… indeed, suddenly, everything else is no longer a priority.

Have you ever been asked to prioritise your work in order to meet deadlines? But did you ask yourself… is work a priority to begin with?

Have you ever missed anything, perhaps a friend’s wedding, or someone’s birthday due to “work commitment”? Well… should work be a commitment?

In a book titled “First Thing First”, the very first sentence in that book reads something like…

“No man at his dying bed wishes he had spent a minute more at work”

How many hours have you spent at work when you should have done something else?

I’ve realised that I should live life by living, not working. Perhaps you should too.