To be or not to be a “tai-tai”

Simplistically defined, “tai-tai” means a married woman who does not need to work. Generally, the understanding is that most girls out there will want to be a “tai-tai”. Please note the word “generally”.

I have met girls who were originally career minded and do not wish to be a tai-tai, and then made a 180 degrees turn and wanted to become one. This usually happened after a few years in the modern slavery world. Of course, there are those who made tai-tai their lifelong ambition from the very start.

There is however, an elite group of girls are adamant that they will never be a tai-tai. And these are girls who have been working for a few years and they are of the opinion that they can never sit at home, just look after the kids, do the cooking or just pure doing nothing. Other reasons quoted include lack of fulfilment and boredom as there will be no one around to hang out with.

I think there is a gap in understanding what exactly a tai-tai is. Being a tai-tai is just not about “not working”, “looking after kids” or “does nothing”, it’s also about “living the life”.

Imagine if you can wake up everyday to prepared breakfast. Then maybe, you need to send your kids to school. Thereafter, you go for your manicure and pedicure. Then lunch with… now, this is important… lunch with fellow tai-tais. Then all of you head to a spa together for some relaxation.

Perhaps some days, it will be yoga or pilates. Or some days, it will be tennis or golf or some dancing lessons, depending on your preference. This will then usually followed by tea/coffee with fellow tai-tais before picking up your kids. You then return home to prepared dinner and plan your next Europe holiday.

Perhaps the days are not that generic but more or less the same. Remember, all these without the stress and frustration of work. Would being a tai-tai be bored and unfulfilling?

Indeed, one needs to have the right resource to be a tai-tai. The major ingredient is of course, money. But the other important ingredient, which many often overlook… is the presence of fellow tai-tais.

When you have the money, a lot of money (from the husband of course) and a bunch of tai-tais who are fun to hang out with, a tai-tai’s life may not be that boring and unfulfilling after all. I have witnessed a soul who said she is not able to live the tai-tai life until she was presented with the golden opportunity. How things have changed.

Not working, staying home to cook and look after the kids and do nothing else is not the life of a tai-tai. That is the life of a housewife. So when you say you can’t be a tai-tai, perhaps you meant you can’t be a housewife?


1 year ago… Migration: Running towards something vs. Running from something

2 years ago… Tahap yang mana?… A candle epic

3 years ago… A locker tale… More but less

Why did you hire me?

I asked that straight to my boss’ face the other day, and I think I caught him by surprise. And the first word that came from him was… “personality”…

The nature of my work requires a certain level of technical knowledge, and I don’t think I am a very technically sound person. Well, I am not saying that I am crap, but there are certainly others who are much better than me. I am just slightly above average.

Hence, I never really expected him to say that I am given the job because I am exceptionally good in what I do. Personality certainly made more sense.

He further explained that I have the personality to interact well with people, which is crucial in the role I am in now. 75% of my time is spent talking to people. The ability to articulate my thoughts and the courage to voice them out in front of people, those are the attributes that landed me this job.

Other remarks from him include – I was “pretty natural” when I want to initiate a conversation with someone, and that I am not one who reacts negatively towards criticism.

Well, I sort of know why I was offered this position. Asking him that question was just me trying to test how does my boss sees me.

Succeeding in life is not just about working hard and being good that what you do. Of course, those are certainly important attributes. But I have learned that there is one crucial component to success… the ability to talk.

Are you able to stand in front of 50 people and talk without pissing in your pants? And if you do talk, do the 50 people understand what you are talking about? When you bump into your big big big boss at the pantry, do you quickly get your drink and go away hoping he/she didn’t notice you? Or do you try to strike a conversation with him/her? When you are at a dinner function, and your big big big boss decides to sit next to you, do you freeze in fear? Or are you able to speak as though he/she is a regular colleague (talking sense of course)?

All these things matter. And apparently, “they” have been observing me. The time when I was sent to London… those conferences… those formal dinner functions… those informal gatherings…

Some are of the opinion that “ability to talk” equals “ability to bullshit”. While that is not entirely accurate, there are certainly more successful bullshiters compared to successful non-bullshiters.


1 year ago… Do you know you work for the bank?… Please scold your parents

2 years ago… A change in dominant language… Gym tales – female version

3 years ago… Orgasm comparison… Debit affluence, credit conscience

1 month post-op update

They said time flies when you are having fun. I don’t think I am having a blissful time in the last 1 month but time certain flew past me like a flash.

It has been 1 month since my knee surgery and things have been progressing well. According to my physiotherapist (a Brazilian who had an internship with Sao Paolo), I am behind time in terms of flexibility.

Pre warm-up front natural bending is at 119 degrees and back bending while lying on my stomach is at 110 degrees. Though I have improved since last week, I was told I am behind time.

With warm-up, I can almost do a full bend while sitting upright but he said I am behind time because measurement should be taken before any warm-up exercise. Guess I still have a lot to work on.

There is going to be a lot of passive bending, i.e. I lie on my stomach and he will push my leg to bend… trust me… it is very very very painful. I usually will scream. He told me there were Brazilian players who used to cry during passive bending… made me feel much better.

The swelling on the operated knee has gone down quite a bit and the incisions are all healing nicely. However, something not so good is developing on my right leg, where my hamstring tendon was harvested.

Perhaps I over-used my right leg to compensate my weaker left leg, the lower right leg has swelled up and the shin felt a bit numb. Perhaps it’s the stretching of the skin due to the swelling, I don’t know.

Anyway, I am flying back to see my surgeon this Saturday. Hopefully it’s normal.

Anyone wants t pick me up from the LCCT this Friday? LOL…!


1 year ago… That 10 + 5 that you pay

2 years ago… KY (A+B+2C) + KY

Finally, something to complain about Singapore

Many teased me about how I kept praising this new land I am in. Perhaps I was a bit over-board there hence I paused and try to keep a lookout for things that I do not like about Singapore.

Finally found it…

The other day, Jules went to purchase something from the supermarket and had to “insist” that she doesn’t want a plastic bag. Apparently, the cashier was puzzled as to why she doesn’t want to take plastic bag.

Packing food for lunch is a culture, the amount of plastic and styrofoam containers used during lunchtime is mind-boggling. If you buy coffee, it will come in styrofoam cup and on top of that, you will be given a little plastic holder to carry it.

Heck! I was out for lunch yesterday and I ate at the restaurant… they gave me plastic cutleries. The drinks and desserts came in plastic containers.

I have to say, Singapore is terribly un-environmental friendly. Usage of plastic bags, plastic cups, styrofoam containers, disposable plastic cutleries are as rampant as corruption in Malaysia. When I told them I used to bring my own container to pack food, they were astonished.

I suppose Singapore is such a fast pace country, washing kitchenware or cutleries would be a waste of time. Time, which can better used to generate more money. It is a bit sad. I am glad Malaysia is a few steps ahead of Singapore in this department.

And being a country with limited source of land, I do wonder… where do all these non-biodegradable thrash go? Being recycled?... Have yet to find out…


1 year ago… 1 of the 50 facts… Sex 101: Basics are essential

2 years ago… More struggles… A time travelling twist… Do you have sweaty chest?