Thursday, 2 July 2009

Sex 101: Basic instructions are essential

Case 1

A couple for married and after 3 years of marriage, the wife still failed to conceive. They started talking to friends and exchange ideas on the timing and technique of performing the bedroom-deeds in order to improve the chance of getting a child. Despite all that, there was no result. Not even a hint of result.

Left with no choice, they decided to seek medical help. A fertility test on the husband showed that he was perfectly normal. But lo and behold, the doctor’s examination on the wife showed that she was… still a virgin!

Apparently, the effort to create new soul turned futile as the pole has been entering the wrong hole.

I know it’s bizarre but hey, did you read the news about this German guy who is suing his neighbour whom he employed to have sex with his wife because he failed to impregnate his wife? Like I said… anything is possible in this world…

Case 2

This case is real because it was relayed to me by the relative of the couple…

Quite the same thing… a couple got married and after a couple of years, the wife failed to conceive. In this case though, they were really shy and did not talk about their predicament with their friends. They decided to seek medical help immediately, which turned out to be a very wise decision.

The consultation started out normally with the usual what’s-your-problem question and as the doctor probed further asking how the couple has been performing in bed, the reply from the wife was…

“Buat apa? Kita tidur bersama-sama lah?” (Do what? We just sleep together.)

Apparently, this couple had absolutely no idea that a new soul can only be created when the pole enters the hole followed by an in-out motion which will lead to the production of a white lotion. They believe a child is born by merely sleeping together.

On hindsight, this couple produced a dozen children after the consultation.

1 year ago…
A time travelling twist

2 years ago… The 6-months journeytransformers there, transforming here

P/S: Many thanks to iamthewitch for the Uber Amazing Blog Award. It’s always good to get awards :)

27 comments:

day-dreamer said...

LOL -_-"

jun said...

Well, 'ignorance is a bliss' cant be applied at here.

LOL!!!!!!

Klaw said...

Watch more porno loh. Learn from the pros mah.

Alex Yap said...

such an idiot

pinknpurplelizard said...

Naivety...

Zewt, refering to ur 2nd last paragraph. I think its more correctly said as 'the release/propulsion of white lotion' instead of 'production of white lotion'. Its already there, just waiting for the flood gates to be released.

Hahahahahaha!!!

Crankster said...

It's beyond bizarre. You'd think these days people know better. I've always wondered who taught Adam and Eve though.

jacss said...

for case2, malay ahh, mana boleh tak tau...:)P create history ni!!

Joel said...

Aww... it looks like the parents of this couple did a goddamn well job in keeping them out of these indecency materials.

Must be a damn strict access.

Sharon said...

i dont believe it! which idiot still doesn't know bout sex101 in this century?! -_-

iamthewitch said...

I can't believe that such a coincidence can happen! To have TWO individuals who have no experience AT ALL and who never watched porn. :P

Purple~MushRooM said...

Zewt, I am not surprise with case 2. It is very common in china, especially those from Kampung. My colleagues told me many such stories. They thought merely sleeping in the same bed will get them pregnant.

Case 1 is stupid... how can the wife not know!!!????

Anonymous said...

I agree there are people in the 2 mentioned cases that still exist today. This is most true especially if the couples are very young,you know,other countries they get married at 14 or 15 years of age!

-alexis kimora

Auntie Dot said...

Actually the first case was real. We had one as case study back in mad..I mean med school.
Guess this is what happens when government put a ban on everything including imports of dildos and book on how to actually have sex the conventional method.
It is possible that even some political parties have the misconception of how babies are made, and thought that merely by Q-ing in a heterosexual line may cause sperms to fly and hence immaculate conceptions...perhaps that is why PAS emphasis-es on Q-ing up in two separate lines. The question then arises, where do all the gays and the lesbians Q? Hmmm....

foongpc said...

OMG! Are these stories real?

Jerine said...

WTF? I don't believe!

SuLee said...

OMFG!

suituapui said...

Which case is your story? Not both, I hope! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!

jam said...

I like your description on the whole making love process, haha!

zewt said...

day-dreamer - :P :P

jun - here... ignorance means no bliss :P

Klaw - hahahaha... i am sure many guys will agree with u.

Alex Yap - haha... give them a break ler...

pinknpurplelizard - fair enough... the propulsion of a white lotion... that will rhymes perfectly hahahaha...

Crankster - God... :)

zewt said...

jacss - betul... tak tipu.

Joel - over strict... a very bad thing.

Sharon - there are a few decades before u ....

iamthewitch - believe it... it's as real as it gets.

purple-mushroom - case 1... the wife is one who just dont dare to say anything i guess... or... maybe she enjoys it? :)

anon @ alexis kimora - well, for this case, they werent young...

zewt said...

Auntie Dot - hello there... sperms to fly over... hahaha... well, i think shuldnt bring politics in this discussion.

foongpc - as real as it gets...

Jerine - aiyoooooo....

SuLee - obviously, you knew all about it long before u got married eh? hahaha:P

suituapui - shhhhh....

jam - ah yes... the potion, holes and poles... haha!

Huei said...

speechless! shows how important sex education is huh? =P

gina said...

Such couples should be stopped from reproducing. Imagine such idiots giving birth to more little idiots.

zewt said...

huei - or porn...

gina - hahahahaha... true!

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