A "very" close encounter with the rempit-kind

I can be really honest with you, I have absolutely no love towards the Urukhais aka mat rempits. But on the other hand, you gotta salute those creatures, they do have a way of getting what they want, not to mention their evolution from zero to hero.

Where once known as mat-motor, their species was given a complete make-over with the donning of the mat-rempit, then mat-cermelang title. With their new found fame, they went amok in a housing estate and our cops bravely declared they will go “all-out” to stop these Urukhais. The result is a possible construction of a race track just for them, built with tax payers money.

With their confidence very much boosted, they then created more havoc and once conjured up a stone shower on cops station, wow, talk about guts! Again, our protectors boldly proclaimed that they will go “all-out” to stop those pest. What’s the result?.... these Urukhais being absorbed into the crime fighting contingent, with additional tip too. And did I mention free bikes?

3 years ago, I had a close encounter with these creatures, and it goes like this:

It was 2 weeks before Christmas and I was driving home after sending one of my friend to GE Mall. It was totally out of the way home but since Christmas was around the corner, I figured I should be a good Samaritan and do something good. After dropping my friend off, I was heading towards KL, driving on Jalan Ampang.

For those who aren’t aware, Jalan Ampang is a 2 way street, traffic on both sides and 2 lanes for each direction. I was on the outer lane driving at probably 60km/h. On the inner lane are a few Urukhais doing some funky stunts in the middle of a busy road. A full tank (RM7?) for these people will probably last them a night, not bad for a weekend entertainment.

Then, all of a sudden, one of them decided to make a U-turn, from the inner lane to the road going on the opposite direction, WITHOUT looking at traffic on the outer lane (I hope this is descriptive enough). He was barely 5 meters in front of me when that happened and the next thing I know…. “BANG!”, I floored the brake but the car was still moving. This is because something was stuck underneath my front wheels and thus, there was not enough friction between the wheels and the road to stop my car. Don’t fret, it did stopped, albeit about 10 meters away.

I shouted “F**k”, got down the car and damn, I was so afraid to see what’s stuck underneath my front wheels… ya’ know, maybe “kepala meletup” or “tangan putus” or “telur bocor” or “batang putus”… who knows? I gave out a huge sigh of relief when I realised it was my bumper, or part of it. I then looked around to see any trace of blood, totally oblivious about traffic, and almost got hit by a car myself. Amazingly, the supposedly ‘victim’ was alright. I guess Urukhai are pretty tough after all. But he was holding his hip, complaining how sore it is. He is not dead!!! Another huge sigh of relief.

I then drove my car to the side of the road (there was a Land Rover showroom) and assessed my damage. My bumper and one of my fog light were totally smashed. Just then, I heard someone shouted behind me “Boss!! Saya punya pinggang sakit, saya mau jumpa doktor, apa macam?”. As I turned around, I saw about 20 (yes… 20!!! Twenty… dua puluh) Urukhais with helmets in their hands… SCREAMING at me as though I’ve just committed a great crime.

Let’s just pause for a moment and ponder, what would you do if you were in my position? I was feeling really pissed cause this moron made a turn out of nowhere, my car is damaged and now, they want me to pay for his damages and repairs, and I am given the impression that failure to comply with their demand means excessive physical injury.

At that time, I was dressed in a rather decent manner (not that I am any decent) as I just got back from a formal function. These morons must be thinking I am some timid china apek who will give in to their demands. Just at that moment, a patrol car came due to the commotion, BUT GUESS WHAT?? One of the Urukhai went to the patrol car and whispered something, and the patrol car… DROVE AWAY! I guess the cops and the Urukhais are made from each other since day 1. From that moment onwards, I know I am on my own.

How did I get out of it? With plenty of fluent ‘national language’ (seriously, I do speak fluently in my national language). Identify the leader and successfully psycho-ed him that it’s not my fault, plus, the victim should be over the moon for still being alive. Am afraid I can’t describe the whole ordeal here. But let me assure you, it took me 1 hour trying to calm down 20 angry hostile bikers and got out of there… alive. Ya’ know, they were all really holding their helmets ready for action.

As I was driving home, I was thinking how fortunate I was that I didn’t actually kill that Urukhai because if I did, it will be really ugly. Having said that, are we supposed to feel guilty if we do?

As I’ve mentioned earlier, if the government can ban firecrackers as it’s deemed to be a danger to us all, I am puzzled why the Urukhais activities are not banned. And now, the government is considering banning fast food ads… ya’ know… no more “Finger Licking Good” or “Happy Meal”…apparently it’s bad. But of course, nothing mentioned about banning the Urukhais.

P/S: TNS… this is the experience that I mentioned to you earlier…