Mothers’ Day wishes, a tribute and a game for few

Here’s wishing all mothers a very blessed life and may all your children reciprocate your love multiple folds. A short dedication to all mothers…

The splendour of love that knows no bound
Only one place it can be found
The heart of a mother that beats sweet sound
One that deserves the great life’s crown

Trials or tribulations… o’ come what may
So long as your child never gone astray
So let all children stand up and say
To all mothers… Happy Mothers’ Day

I would also like to take this opportunity to pay a special tribute to 5xMom who has continuously mentioning me in her blog. Since a few months ago, she has awarded me my 2nd thinking blogger award, compared me with kennysia, tried out my oyster mushroom recipe and of course, the chance to be part of the hottest male blogger nomination.

Having endured a significant lost in her life prior to this, 5xMom is still able to be good loving mother to her 4 children. I think she is a role model for all moms not just because she is a famous blogger, but she has shown that there is much life in being a housewife, and one that is making a lot of $$$ too. Her bubbly figure radiates from her blog entries but hey, she can be very vocal too, like here. Here’s a tribute to 5xMom… cheers!

As for the rest of us, if you’re struggling to kill time and is dying for this boring Friday afternoon to be over, try out the online Mansion:Impossible game. It’s very easy, just follow the instructions. The objective is to trade in property until you can purchase the mansion in the top right of the screen. The game can be found here.

For the record, my best time is shown below… 10 years and 2 months... virtual time la…

Have fun and have a motherly loved weekend ahead!

Lessons from death

I have learnt many things during my mom’s passing besides the growing up part, i.e. I've gained some knowledge in the preparation of the funeral, and the errands that needs to be done after the funeral. If you think funeral is about getting a coffin, put the body 6 feet under and perhaps mourn for 49 days, then you’re wrong. There’re much more things to it.

It was certainly a very stressful time. First, there’s the emotional tsunami that swept us away. But we can't just leave the deceased and go to our crying-hibernation mode. There are many things that need to be done. Allow me to share some pointers with you with a hope that your stress will be reduced in such testing times.

Funeral planner

Be honest with yourself. You don’t have time to choose the coffin and get everything prepared yourself; you will need a funeral planner. And sad to say, these vultures will be hovering around hospitals and wherever there is death, it’s like they can smell it. They will promise you the sun and the moon and will always give you the “we-will-take-care-of-everything” assurance.

During such time, our minds will be occupied with a lot of sorrows and we tend to just take what is laid on the table. Don’t! You will most probably be slaughtered if you do that. The first quotation given to me when my mom passed away was RM8,000+ which covers coffin, the rental of chairs and apparatus during the wake, drinks, peanuts, transport to burial ground / crematorium, basically all the things that you can think of, or at least what you are capable to gather at that point. We almost took it, we thought it was cheap. Cover everything you know!

Finally, we managed to get one for only RM3,600+, and it covers the same thing. The lesson here is… no matter how occupied your mind is, you need to think straight and discern. If you’re freaking rich then this will not matter to you, but if you’re not, then you will need to have a little bit of shopping sense.

Death certificate

This may just be one document that certifies the death of a person, but it’s not something that can be easily obtained. If one passed away in the hospital, then there should be no further problems. If otherwise, things can be messy. Consider that there is a growing number in people dropping dead all of a sudden, this is a tricky issue.

If death happens without the present of a doctor, you will probably need to make a police report. Thereafter, the police will take the body for post-mortem i.e. cut it open. I am sure this is not something that you wish for your loved ones. The person is already dead, and it’s not a murder, why cut the deceased open just for the sake of it?

The trick is to get a doctor to certify the death of the deceased, and the cause of death. Subsequently, the doctor certification can be send to DBKL for the officer to issue a ‘Burial Cert’. Thereafter, one can use this Burial Cert to apply for a Death Cert without having the deceased cut open.

The beauty of living in Malaysia is that… most of the funeral planners will have “connections” to get this done. So… this is one important criterion in choosing the right planner.

Will

This is one helluva “tai kat lai si” thing with the Chinese, and perhaps with other races too. But you cannot possibly imagine the importance of having one. For parents, let’s be open-minded about this. If something happen to you (touch wood), and your children are all still young, who is going to pay for all the funerals and logistics? And trust me funeral is freaking expensive.

A simple letter assigning someone the power of attorney to your finances can avoid a lot of unnecessary stress. I am fortunate because my dad was around and he has the cash to pay for a lot of things. But like I said, if both parents suddenly went and the children are all young, things can be very messy, and I am not talking about fighting for money.

In the absence of a will, all the deceased’s bank accounts will be frozen, and there are a lot of red tape and paperwork to do before the money can be disseminated amongst the children. And you know what? The gomen will happily take a cut from the account, no kidding. And that is provided all the paper work is done properly. Any hiccups, the gomen will sweep everything. And I am darn sure you don’t want that to happen.

If the deceased is unmarried and have no children… well, I am not exactly sure what will happen but very likely the gomen will send you a “thank you” note for your contribution to the country’s development.

And oh… as always, the above process practise “Malaysian time” to its fullest.

One way to get around it is to have joint accounts. But this means someone will have access to your finances while you’re still alive, a “will” will only allow someone access after one is dead… so… to each its own.

There, 3 very important elements, lessons that I learnt from the passing of my mom. There are also other issues such as burial land or place to house the urn for those who are cremated. Such things will depend very much on one’s finances. One advice… don’t over-burden yourself. Discern and choose the best for the deceased… and yourself.

Additional info (11 May 2007):

Some fellow bloggers have highlighted that EPF beneficiary should always be updated. Indeed, the beneficiacy should be someone who is alive and there have been cased where EPF office has screwed up when the system was computerised. Something like that. Well, it's Malaysia after all. So make sure your EPF beneficiary is alive and kicking.... so is your insurance beneficiary, if you have insurance

As mourning period for mom ends…

Today marks the end of the 49 days mourning period for my mom’s passing. Some asked me why 49 days. Well, honestly, I don’t really know. I can only say, it was derived from 7 x 7. At least that’s what they told me.

So yes, the vegetarian days are over, but I am not exactly screaming in delight. As a matter of fact, I am feeling quite low now. Can't believe it has already been 49 days since mom went away… since I last spoke to mom… since I last heard her voice… since I last tasted her delicious cooking… since I last had a mother. I can still remember, very clearly, the phone call from my brother, the sight of mom on the bed, the words spoken to me by the doctor, those words from my cousin about how it wasn't meant to be a surprise, the chill of mom’s body when I last touched her, the sorrow the engulfed me when I pressed the button at the crematorium… everything is so clear in my head. And I reckon I will never be able to erase any of them… not that I want to, but everything is so clear, I feel as though I am going through them all over again just by thinking about it.

I think I have done stupendously well in the last 49 days in keeping the house in order to a certain extent, and of course, going vegetarian. Tell you one thing, the struggle is not eating vegetarian, but finding vegetarian food to eat. Most of the time, I eat the same thing over and over again. Many people said I have lost weight, but I think I have lost all those muscles I gained the gym due to lack of protein. It’s time hit the weights again.

I knew life will change the day the doctor told me mom is beyond any medical assistance, but the magnitude of the change really took me by surprise. It was also an eye opening experience to actually feel how it is like to maintain a house. How frequent the floor needs to be swept, how often the bathroom floor needs to be scrubbed, how often laundry needs to be done… if you have been living in the comfort of my-mom/maid-does-them-all, you better pray you don’t have to do house chores one day.

One thing I have discovered, or sort of re-discovered, is my interest in cooking. I have done more cooking in the last 48 days as compared to the time since I came back from UK till mom’s passing. I have developed a lot since my chef entries… cooked some pasta for my family and I have successfully prepared soup a few times. Now that vegetarian days are over, I guess I can try more things.

Anyway, putting food on the dinner table made me think of the time when I craved for something. All I needed to do was to hint to my mom, within 3 days max, I am sure the dish I craved will be on the table. Now… I guess I have to cook it myself, provided I know. How things have changed.

There is also one irritating habit that I have, which I can no longer practise. Whenever I cook myself instant noodles at night, I will conveniently leave the bowl and everything on the sink, knowing that mom will clean them in the morning. But now, if I leave them tonight, those dirty dishes will be there for a thousand years… no kidding. I have never said a word of thank you to my mom for all those time she cleaned my late night dishes, but yet, I know she happily cleaned them for me, without a word of complaint.

My thoughts are all over the place right now, so many memories, so many words unspoken, of which will always remain unspoken. But of all things, I remember one of mom’s most prominent wishes… that mom wanted to be remembered… always. She tried very hard to ensure that she stays in our heart forever. Of course, she will… but action is louder than words, and since the heart and mind never really speaks, I strongly believe I should put some action into it.

In view of this, I have dedicated one day every month to be vegetarian. Not that I am a Buddhist, but I do it in remembrance of my beloved mom. Mom passed away on the 3rd day of the 2nd month according to the lunar calendar. As such, on the 3rd day of every lunar month, I will be a vegetarian. It is nothing compared to all the love she showered and the sacrifices she made, but I am sure she will be pleased.

I have always loved poems, but it’s a shame I only write one for my mom today…

Dear mom, if you can hear me say
I have missed you since that fateful day
Without a word you went away
Left me in abundant dismay
Oh… what painful 49 days

You have loved me in so many ways
Ways of which I can never repay
Though mourning ends in this month of May
Your love I shall cherish till end of my days
Oh… what painful 49 days

I ask that God will grant you grace
As you rest in peace in your dwelling place
And don’t you worry about my pace
I will continue to run life’s race
But yes… it has been a painful 49 days

Love you mom… I will always remember your love for undeserving me.

Again, is it worth it?

There is a very famous Chinese saying that goes….

“Tuck han sei, em tuck han peng”

It’s directly translated as ‘free to die, not free to fall sick’. Free here is not referring to freedom, but free-time. It simply means one is very busy, so busy that falling sick is even worse that death, as falling sick means one has to catch up with work when one recovers. Death on the other hand… well, I am sure you get the flow, right?

Last month, we read about a young manager who worked till her death. She was said to be a loner. Perhaps she finds nothing meaningful in her life, thus, she concentrates on her career, which of course, eventually led to her death.

A reader commented about a similar story which happened nearer to home. Co-incidentally, my colleague in Singapore forwarded the news to me last week and I think I should share with all of you. The news about her tragic death is reported here. It’s rather long but if you have the time, you should read about it. If you don’t have time… make some time la!!!

It’s about a girl named May who lost her life. The reason? Yup, you got it right… she worked too hard. She has a blog and co-incidentally, she put up a blog entry 2 days before her death. In her blog, she said she was thrilled to “finally have the chance to fly high in Fortune 500 Multi-National Corporation”. I guess she paid the cost of having such thrill with her life.

Strange enough, she said in the last paragraph of ill-fated blog entry about how she learnt about the person of the similar role in the same company died of heart attack, and she was afraid that she will end up with the same fate. Unfortunately, 2 days after her blog entry, she did land herself with the same fate.

I really like her last line … “The moral of the story is don’t ever fall in love with your company or your job”. Though it failed to save her life, I hope it will save yours. The next time you wanna say “tuck han sei, em tuck han peng”, think again.

Her ill-fated blog entry can be read here.

May she rest in peace.

Feeling sleepy?

This is where I usually park my car on a regular Sunday afternoon when I am at Jules’ place. There are places inside her house to fit my car but her dad usually washes their cars on a Sunday afternoon so I tend to park outside (as shown in picture), so that her dad can move the cars around without having to deal with my car occupying space.

But today, I decided to park my car inside her house, and thank God I did. Half way while watching the Singapore Open badminton final, we heard a big 2 big ‘bang’, no no no… no new universe was made, there were sound of collision. We peeped out of the window and we could only see what is in front of the house. It was this…

Curiosity led us downstairs and we were right, there was an accident. This was what we saw…

Couldn’t really see anything right? Basically, a Proton Waja went out of control and rammed into a pole (refer to picture above), and crashed into a Proton Saga parked on the neighbour’s side. And accordingly, the Proton Saga rammed into a Proton Wira parked outside the neighbour’s house. Yeah, the Saga is basically sandwiched. Here is a better picture…

I wanted to take more pictures but the driver but since everyone there wasn’t really showing me a friendly face, I better bugger off.

Anyway, the driver of the Waja said she (yup… it’s a she) fell asleep on the wheel. The owner of the Saga said those people in the Waja looked as though they just came down from Genting. Fell asleep on the wheel!!!! Notice the tree next to the crash site? Had they hit the tree, they won't live to see another day.

We have just had a brief discussion earlier about morons, and while I sympathise them for crashing their car, I can't help but think what they did was rather ‘moranic’. How many times have we heard of people losing not only their cars, but their lives because they fell asleep while driving? But do we listen? Have you fell asleep on the wheel before?

Jules has got a friend who works for a very glamorous IT consulting firm, one that currently pays a fresh grad RM4k. On the average, this friend of Jules crashes her (yup, it’s also a she) twice a year. The reason…? She fell asleep on the wheel. The reason…? She worked late. Well, the bliss and risk of working in a big glamorous firm. By the way, she still works in the same firm and still crashes her car on a regular basis. Will she ever learn? God knows.

Next time, if you’re sleepy, please stop your freaking car and take a nap by the roadside or something. If you always work late which results in you feeling sleepy while driving, do something about it before you freaking kill someone! You wouldn’t wanna live to tell your sorry stories.

Anyway, I must thank God because of this…

Thank you Lord for your divine intervention.

A kid at 6 and what is 5?

What were you doing when you were 6? Probably learning A for apple and B for boy? Kids nowadays are really ahead of their time. Check out this kid… and you MUST wait for his second song…


Amazing 6 Year Old Guitarist - More amazing video clips are a click away

Now, where is my guitar!!!???! Been wanting to change my strings for the longest time. Anyone know where I can get Elixir 1st and 2nd string for an acoustic piece? Damn… I really need to get back to my playing…

Right, the weekend is here, and I am sure it will be gone without you knowing it. But I am sure you will have time for this one…

If…

1 = 5
2 = 25
3 = 125
4 = 625
5 = ?

Have a nice thinking weekend…

The chronicles of morons

How was the holiday? I know I know… it’s too short isn’t it? Well, that’s the reason why I took today and tomorrow off too. Am going to stay away from the slavery system a little while longer, which probably means the coming Monday blues is gonna be more painful to bear.

Anyway, have you even encountered some people that you just want to slap their sorry face back to reality? Have you ever met some moronic souls that you’re not sure whether you should be angry with them or laugh at their moronic act? I have encountered quite a few in my life. Quite a number actually but I think I am going to talk about 3 today…

Presenting moron number 1: The get-out-of-the-way driver

It happened more than 2 years ago when I was driving to my badminton game. I was heading towards Hartamas on the fast lane in front of the palace when a car (if I remember correctly, it’s a proton iswara) tailing me rather closely. It’s quite obvious he (yes, it’s a he) was trying to get me to move out of the way, to which I didn’t comply. He was probably getting increasingly irritated cause he kept flashing his lights and honking me, urging me to move aside or go faster.

Well, I was actually going quite slow, going at about 70km/h on the fast lane. However, I did not give way, I stayed in the fast lane and continue going at 70km/h. In the end, frustration overtook my nemesis and he made a quick check to the left and as he sped past me, I think he showed me his middle finger, I couldn’t be bothered. BUT! As soon as he overtook me, he slammed on his brake so hard, the halt almost caused his car to go out of control. You know why?

Cause there were 2 POLICE PATROL CARS right in front of me going at 70km/h. WHAT A MORON! That was the reason why I couldn’t go any faster! It’s also amazing how the hell he failed to see them from behind. What a moron!


Moron number 2: The over-zealous patriot

This too happened about 2 years ago, around the month of August. I was late at work (as usual) and as I was entering the car park, there was an unusual traffic jam… in the car park! This is rather strange cause during such time, traffic is usually clear in this particular cark park. The pause seems to go on longer than expected. Then I noticed the driver in front of me got out of his car and started laughing. Not wanting to miss anything, I did that too, I mean, I got down from the car before I laugh la.

To my amusement, I got myself moron number 2. Credit to him, he was rather “patriotic” There was this Pajero with something like 50 miniature Malaysian flags glued on top of its body, including the roof of the car. There were so many, with the flags all nicely glued upwards. Now, with the Pajero being quite a “tall” car, all these flags got stuck between the pipes that were running below the ceiling. This moron had to get out of his car and removed all his nicely glued flags 1 by 1!

If you wanna be a patriot, show it in a more meaningful way! Not by having miniature flags all over your vehicle and ended up removing them cause you didn’t assess your destination before hand. Plus, that act caused me to be more than an hour late! Oh well, not that I care anyway. What a moron! And I mean him…

Moron number 3: The alcohol-seeker in Starbucks

This too happened about 2 years ago, during those times when I had to go back to office for work on a Saturday. Having partied the night before, I wandered to Starbucks Coffee outside my office to get myself the much needed caffeine. I was in the queue, and standing before me was this Chinese Type A. He was looking up at the menu board on top, as all Starbucks have that, pondering on what to order. I think he couldn’t decide on what to order and asked the girl at the counter…

”Do you have anything alcoholic?”(in a very very very heavy Aussie accent – I wish I can say it out for you to hear)

What the f**k! Has this guy ever been to Starbucks before? Which part of Starbucks “COFFEE” he doesn’t understand??? Alright, maybe, just maybe that was his maiden voyage to a Starbucks. Or maybe his mama locked him up in a room somewhere to protect him for Starbucks, cause perhaps Starbucks around his area sell alcohol.

He went through almost all the drinks in the menu with the girl, asking which one is nice and so on. I am beginning to think there is no Starbucks in Aussie. After settling for a drink (which took a while), he took out his wallet and get ready to pay. And you know what???? He slowly took out this heavily stamped loyalty card and asked for a stamp from the girl. What the f**k! Obviously this is NOT his first time at Starbucks. Alcoholic drinks?

I would have forgiven him if the girl at the counter was a babe. But, it’s total opposite (no disrespect) she was not quite a babe and I can’t help but to brand this lost soul moron number 3. What a moron!

Have you ever encountered such people before? Tell me your stories… and next time, if you ever see such people again… say it out loud…WHAT A MORON!