Thursday, 16 August 2007

Keywords splendour

One of the feature which I like really much about StatCounter.com is the ‘keyword analysis’ function. No, this is not a sponsored post. This function allows you to track what word internet user used in search engine to arrive at A.Z.A.I.G. Besides the usual zewt or ‘as zewt as it gets’, I must say some of the keywords I saw are pretty interesting.

For a start, I think people really hate their bosses. Check this out…
Gee… I never know my blog provides ways for people to take revenge on their bosses. But... sine that person is now your ex-boss... how was it? And people looking for EeChia in my blog?
Wahh!! That’s the way to go man! Tell your boss you’re late because you were made to work late! Whoever you are… you the man!

Well, those are the boss related keywords. But ya’ know what? Besides the above, I see a host of really ‘sexciting’ keywords, some of them pretty freaky…

‘Orgasm auto’… I think most of us will want that don’t u think? As for what you should think so that you won't cum… try thinking about your boss. By the way, who searched for “blogspot big 4 hate auditor quit”? hmmm……

I presume the user meant ‘human’. But what the hell… since when did A.Z.A.I.G. turned into a kamasutra blog? Hmmm… now I am being reminded of a particular “donkey punch”.

Can someone please tell me what in the world is ‘ah ah oh woman pic’? And I am darn sure you won't find such pic here in A.Z.A.I.G.! Or could you? Hmmmm… who “kena raba” (groped)? Did you like it?

Okayyy… who wants to exchange orgasm? You mean exchange with another gender? What they hell are these people thinking about? You're obviously 'cuntfused'. And A.Z.A.I.G. is no kamasutra, can't tell you how to make a girl cum. Girls, any tips? Oh… by the way, someone actually searched for ‘liverfool’? LOL !!!

Errr… whoever you are, if you find out… let us all know ok?

I am a guy, though many perceived I was a chick, so it’s a wonder how this blog can provide such answer. Girls, any idea? Is it the same?

Whoever you are… tough luck mate. And to the fella got pimple from looking at porn… serve you right man! LOL!

Those are the few sexciting ones. But I tell you what, there are 2 quite… errr… ‘disgusting’… like this one…
Man, you’re sick! No wonder we have so many rapes around. Whoever you are, you ain’t going to find any solution here. Go see a doc before it’s too late mate.

As for the next one, I don’t know whether he is sick or he is lucky or wants to be lucky. Check this one out…








Geee… whoever you are, were you trying to screw her or you’ve screwed her? Whatever it is, you ain’t going to find any love potion to your mom’s best friend here.

Last but not least… well, you have to pity this girl. I think most probably it’s a girl who made the search. Don’t believe me? have a look at this…








Now tell me… who is it now? Come on, don't need to be shy... hehe...

P/S: A.Z.A.I.G. = As Zewt As It Gets = name of this blog.

73 comments:

Seok Thong said...

None of the above. Some people are really sick!

'erection when hugging sister'..EeEEEEEEEeee!! that's just unbelieveable!

As far as i remember, i got into your blog from someone's blog who mentioned about your mum. That's how i got here.. :)

maegen said...

HAAA..HAAA...^0^ dats already 2 zewt laugh for this week !! g9 n swt drm ..

Acrelaine said...

omg.. thats effing funny.. hahaha.. didnt know i cud do that keyword search thingy.. now gonna try it myself.. hehe

sooi2 said...

waahahahah! thanks for giving me a good midnight laugh!!

p/s> i swear i'm innocent from all of the above ;-)

Jemima said...

My 2 sens says that the last one could be a guy.. He was desperately trying to help the girl he knocked up approached her mum. :p

Sheena said...

Zewt, don't the search terms you're getting make you wonder what is it about YOUR posts that's leading these people to your blog? ;)

Sam said...

Interesting readers ;)

Side Note: LCW crashed out. How predictable. Sad.

Twisted Heels said...

Hmm..the searches does sound interesting! Maybe I should get a statcounter too but I don't get a lot of readers anyway :)

angel said...

Hahaha!!! Yeah man! When I see mine, I can laugh like mad and u just made me go check mine... what I got?

- spooners lick
- where to find the cheeky ah pek

LMAO!

tingtitlei said...

woah... beats my rempit sex search anytime man. is that slimstat? im gonna post something like that soon =D ive got some bizarre searches too

Helen said...

I think your blog has potential to really hit it big as a porn site. lol

Sunshine said...

lol... i use stat counter too, but my site don't have high traffic, so i don't check the reports...

maybe tonight i'll just go and have a peek, then we shall see if there is anything interesting there to share :)

Tine said...

See, I did not read all of your entries just yet, but, dude, have you been holding some good ol' porn in there somewhere? *kerching kerching* :p

Cirnelle said...

My workstation's sprayed with morning coffee. Was reading this with a mouthful of coffee.... bad idea.

Huei said...

omg! hahahah

u erotic kamasutra blog!

lets hope these keywords bring more =P

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

i quickly went back to my keyword analysis..and found some interesting ones as well..

nipple shots..

job at gohtong jaya..

guess i m not as "interesting" as u..

hahaha..

ehon said...

NOT ME!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

i never knew AZAIG provides sooooo much info *coughs*

Jason said...

it seems that there are a lot of perverted ppl out there..ahahha.

Economist said...

eh ZEWT you attracting wrong readers issit? but its quite funny some of the searches...maybe u should start entertain your readers' request!!!

side note - totally expected of LCW and HH...but if they cant win in msia where else can they win? i miss though the WMC match though..did she really whip Lin Dan's Chick?

me said...

the question in this case should be why are all these weird people with weirder questions being directed to your blog????? i know zewt makes us think every friday but i don't recall any lessons on meraba-raba or exchanging orgasm. and for some strange reason, some religious person is trying to find out what food to eat to make GOD have an erection. sheesh!

i need to lie down....*tiptoes to google and type .......

narrowband said...

Lol Zewt, I get hits via the darnest keywords too. But nothing as perverted as those you highlighted... hehe

zewt said...

Seok Thong - there are some decent searches too, but will be boring to show them. one famous searches that led them here is "mom passed away".

maegen - laughter is the best medicine mah...

Acrelaine - let me know what u find ok?

sooi2 - u sure? u sure? hmmmm...

Jemima - could be true... i will be waiting for that person to owe up... haha...

Sheena - yeah, makes me wonder really. so much about me being a thinker huh.. ;)

Sam - Maybe cos he passed all his powers to his gf, thus his gf managed to thrash lin dan's gf. damn... the whole badminton world is going out with each other.

zewt said...

twisted heel - you will be surprise with what you find. of cos, i do have decent ones, just that i decided to post the above.

angel - aiyah... ah pek... ask that fella to go ahpek.com lor... hahahahahahahaha....

tingtitlei - strangely, i dont get any mat rempit sex search. but i have one on mat rempit... mat rempit putus kepala...

Helen - hmmm... a lot of money in the making...

Sunshine - do that and let us all know ok? :P

Tine - yeah, so good that even i am not aware of it. or..... i have been unconsciously writting about loads of porn.

Cirnelle - never read any friday post with liquid in your mouth.

zewt said...

Huei - maybe you should check yours and tell us what are they... will be interesting too eh.

constant craver joe - nipple shots? hahahahaha.....

ehon - neither do it... beats me... u sure it's not u? hahahahaha!

Jason - more than u can ever imagine.

Economist - LCW... he played like shit. a lot of wrong judgement. i think the court was a bit screwed, the same reason why WMC can win.

me - all totally beyond me. indeed... that person must be very religious to have wanted a GOD erection. have you seen any before? maybe u can give some tips!

narrowband - what are those darnest words then? heh heh...

AngryYoungChild said...

ROFL...Finally the post i've been waiting for! XD Zewt u got like tons of orgasm keywords. I got tons of boobs pulak.

And i saw one more at one of ur pics. Bellybutton orgasm. O.o !

lingzie said...

ahahahahahaha! this is the absolute perfect friday entry!
how in the world did those ppl get to your blog from those keywords?!!
do you some hidden 'members only' category dishing out all that sexciting advice?! LOL!

sharlydia said...

hahahaha! I just din know so many of your fans are "sex mania"!!! hahahaha....have a good weekend!

aSstHa said...

NO WONDER my office server has banned A.Z.A.I.G

i can't access from my direct link now... always need to google search zewt and find that ecological post to access... haiyo zewt... see how much trouble i have to go through everyday now just to read ur blog?... heheheh (eh... it's true ya...)

hmmm... jz checked my statcounter... all boring one... last time had some really kinky ones... now it's just "when my boyfriends out of town he's to busy to talk to me" and "what happens on an sap fico projects rollout to go live"...

heck... i doubt i ever wrote about SAP rollout... i haven't even done one yet, coming soon but haven't.. adoi...

Calvin's Wife said...

Wahahaha, Zewt, exclude me, I think your readers are kinda mentally sick.. LOL...

rinnah said...

Hmm... these are definitely NOT the thinking readers who post comments on your blog, right? Right? *grin*

Must have been those previous funny Friday posts you wrote... It just proves that S-E-X and all things related to it can boost your blog visitors! Haha.

alan zed said...

haha, you're the best, man. you made me laugh all the way. :D

happy friday bro, may man yoo win the derby.

hehe.

Manal said...

doncha know that s*x is the most searched word in the world!! ur little bit of this n that are already the honey to them bees....

Do u think we gonna get some popups on s*x websites in AZAIG soon?

Manal said...

no wonder u r reaching 60,000 hits within 8 months!

Shireen Loh said...

hmm..did u just make all that up :P Happy Weekend, sorry i missed the earlier post...

guaisaujai said...

Don't Zewt...DON'T!!

Stop writting porno stuff and leading ur blog to porno blog okie??
else my holly company block me visiting ur blog then I die die die lor..

p/s: I'm now at client side and it's damn holly...Even more holly than hor*ny ang moh one leh..Cos dunno since when I cannot enter his blog...

Jonzz said...

Gosh!! Must check statcounter now. *Rubbing hands in glee*

Princess Eileen said...

I am curious to see what is the outcome of hor ny ang moh's blog liao.... Eh, u dun even write anything related about sex or horny stuffs wor... hmmm... hmmm... interesting statistics

littlepolaris said...

hehehe, damn funny la this post. lol zewt can give provide sex education soon... after learning from Horny ang moh la. =P

zewt said...

AngryYoungChild - boobs? what's with boobs and your blog.. hmmmm... bellybutton orgasm... i left it for ppl to notice... of all ppl... you! hmmmm....

lingzie - hehehe.... maybe i have... secret... haha!

sharlydia - i didnt know either.... haha! sick eh?

aSstHa - wahh.. didnt know you have to go the extra mile to come here... many thanks indeed. well, keep observing your keywords, u might just see some really funky ones.

calvin's wife - you sure??? i dont think i wanna exclude u from that category kakakaka...

rinnah - i hope not. i dont think ppl who search for those things are capable of thinking comments. yeah, 3 things always sell... sex, politcs and money.

alan zed - sigh... 2 drawn games, those boys better buck up.

zewt said...

Manal - hahaha... yeah, the mystery solved eh?

Shireen Loh - haha... it's real ok! no joke.

guaisaujai - dont worry friend, i wont la. just surprise how come ppl come to my blog with such funny phrases. wah... wat super holy client is this la?

Jonzz - blog about it! blog about it!

princess eileen - yeah!!! hahaha... hopefully this post will inspire him a bit.

littlepolaris - hmmm... have to learn from him meh? hhahaha... so proud eh me?

narrowband said...

Zewt, sorry offtopic: There's a new name for babies. It's '@'. That beats all the other outrageous names we've ever heard before, any time.

Doreen said...

Wah~~~ now even search engine got tracking one also. Scary leh....

Anonymous said...

muahahahah...so sexiting.!!!!...Raymond Y

DaphStar* said...

AHhaha..erection when hugging sister. What kinda sick twisted readers do you attract?! Hhhaa..
I think I should be attracting more twisted readers than you do. BTW add me on msn. yiingshan@msn.com

zewt said...

narrowband - yeah, i read about that. i wonder how to call that baby... "alias" or... i dunno.... "at" ... since that how you call it when u recite your e-mail.

Doreen - in the virtual world. almost everything is possible.

Anon @ Raymond Y - indeed... good for the weekend.

DaphStar* - yeah, it freaks me out to know what kinda ppl land themselves here.

Terra Shield said...

I had a good laugh... I wonder if anyone actually found what they were looking for...

I just took a look at my statcounter and the most popular keyword is red tubes. I doubt they actually found what they were looking for, though... :D

confessing7girl said...

this is absolutely entertaining!! and i thought i had bad search keywords!! people can be so strange sometimes!! :D i liked that ah ah oh woman pic!! :D i thinking someone was looking for a woman having an orgasm in the picture!! :D the erection when hugging sister is just way too sick!! :D

ps- u can find the search keywords on the new google analytics too!! :D

LaSh said...

And guess who's back!

and as usual, there's SO MANY AZAIG posts to go through even if I wasn't away for that long o.O.

duh! it's gonna take me some time!

just dropping by to say hi.

so.

HI!

ethel said...

ah ah oh woman pic. LOL!!!!!

You're such a bad influence lah, zewt. See.. proven by the keyword search. HAHAHAHA!

Russ said...

Are those all real?? hahahaa... ur blog has become 18SX izzit??
Anyway, good tip, im gonna try it for myself, thanks Zewt!
:)

kaylee said...

Nice blog AND oh god! it was heart surgery i had:)

Seaqueen said...

Woah. How does all these get linked to your blog eh?? Hmmm....being "naughty"? Hahahah!!

Zexynova said...

lol all the sex keywords.... some ppl in the world are born to be sick

MissSHopaHolic said...

Hi long time no c...

WAr all damn hamsap one ha??

Calvin's Wife said...

Wahahaha and why is that? LOL..

Jun said...

ish. how did search engines manage to direct those keywords to ur blog anyway?? *scratches head in bewilderment*

-Princess Shin- said...

Haha.. got such thing? How did your blog manage to be connected to such things? Did you try typing those stuff and searching your blog? What did you get?

LaSh said...

phew.

this must be the longest ever spam comment i've ever seen!

zewt said...

Terra Shield - doesnt it make u wonder how come ppl searching for red tubes end up in your blog? :P

confessing7girl - hmmm... gotta learn how to use thae google analytics...

LaSh - yo! been a while since we hear from you sir. haha... yeah, almost once a day. and yeah, tell me about that long spam... some ppl are so darn free.

ethel - hahaha... well, being a devil sometimes is good.


Russ - do let us know what are your findings yeah? haha...

kaylee - hi! thanks... and hope you recover soon.

zewt said...

Seaqueen - beats me... must be that particular orgasm entry.

zexynova - and they are looking for medicine here. damn!

MissSHopaHolic - yo! yeah.. where have u been. haha... yeah lor, i also dunno why.

Calvin's wife - c'mon... you sure u not sick? :P... kakakaka....

Jun - there is one particular entry i blogged about about orgasm comparison... must be that one.

Princess Shin - that particular orgasm comparison entry. that 'hip hop' entry also plays a major part. sigh...

Junie said...

OMG the last one was the best...hahaha...

AngryYoungChild said...

LOL! i didnt mean to see it. Kinda hard to not notice it too! for me that is..

ahlost said...

hahaha.. some ppl are just so weird

mar said...

U know zewt,if you're on wordpress you won't need external stat counters or analysis cos wordpress provides it automatically...hehe.

Some words that seem to always lead to my blog:
digi,fuyoh,i will follow you,digi vs maxis,vs celcom,cast,right foot swollen,crutches,how to climb stairs with crutches...LOL.

may said...

hahaha! I remember looking at all the search bits that led them to my blog too, and omg, the things they look for... how did they ever land up in my "innocent" domain?!

zewt said...

Junie - tell me about it. the person has yet to own up though :P

AngryYoungChild - for you huh... i wonder why.

ahlost - hello and welcome... much worse than weird i tell u.

mar - those last few searches.... looks like your fracture did someone else's good eh? :P

may - what is it? what is it????

adyla zafyra said...

LMAO................

lolzzzzzzzzzzz.........

thx 4 makin my day....

wahaha........

and a year younger....

zewt said...

adyla zafyra - hey! thanks for dropping by. hahaha... glad i made your day. hope i will be able to do that more often. see ya around.

mar said...

haha...maybe...LOL.

The Malaysian Life said...

LOL. This is an absolutely hilarious post. Ive not seen one this close for a long time. Malaysians are f@king idiots and perverts. We are very far for being cermelang and terbilang. Dont know how long gemilang is going to last.

zewt said...

mar - i am sure it did.

the malaysian life - hey! welcome to AZAIG. are we even gemilang in the first place? we just think we are gemilang, whether we are really gemilang is whole different story. hope to see ya around.

Zaty said...

this has got to be one of the funniest stuff i've read in a blog entry. ROFLMAO the whole time.

what were they thinking?! can't they just use google or something else?

the idiocies of the human mind can sometimes be pretty amusing =P

zewt said...

zaty - what's worrying... they ended up in my blog! :P