Counselling at the mamak

It is not easy to go for counselling. One needs not only make time for it, but one must also bring down one’s ego and admit that one needs help. It is a humbling act.

I was supposed to attend a counselling session last week due to various happenings in my life but couldn’t make it. Things sort of settled down this week and I thought maybe I don’t really need counselling anymore. I am glad I did not fall into that over-self-esteem trap.

I have never met Rig, the counsellor before. We have only spoken on the phone twice and he sounded like someone who is very old and wise. When I arrived at the mamak, I was greeted by a man who was totally opposite of what I had in mind. With his very typical Chinese uncle look (no offence to anyone), curry-puff styled gelled hair, short sleeve shirt and dark pants, he looked more like a typical Chinese taxi driver or Chinese triad more like a Christian counsellor. Of course, this is only my impression.

I ordered my drink and went to get my lunch and as I sat down, he asked me about my medical appointment and I gave a brief history about what has happened in the last few months. He went on to order his ‘maggi goreng’ and for about 40 – 45 minutes, he just kept asking me questions.

My condition in the last few months…
My worries and what have been affecting me…
How is my family like…
My siblings…
Relationship with my parents…
Childhood heartaches and moments of joy…
Disappointments…
Basically running through my history as detailed as I intend to review…

All the while, he was going like a broken record… “yes… yes… hmm… hmm… ya ya ya… hmm…hmmm… yes, ya, yes, ya…” I know this is an act to show that one is listening but I was doing so much talking, I wondered if he really listened and manage to register everything I said as all the while he was only going “ya ya ya…” and focusing on his ‘maggi goreng’.

After about 40 – 45 minutes, Rig took out his handkerchief, wiped his mouth and from that moment on, he showed me why is he a counsellor. For the next hour or so, he was the one doing the talking.

He reviewed to me the medical, psychological and social side of things and then he is able to wrap all of them from the Christian spiritual perspective. The way he spoke is totally opposite what his physical appearance projects. This is like a slap of don’t-judge-a-book-by-it’s-cover right on my face.

One may wonder that he has made this kind of speech many times but no, he was picking up all the things I have said earlier. He identified things that I have mentioned earlier during the question and answer session and explained them from a medical, psychological, social and spiritual perspective. I was totally amazed as some of the things he picked up, even I myself has forgotten that I have reviewed it to him earlier.

I was totally in awe and I felt like I was being hit by a heavy dose of wisdom. You know how when you speak to people and sometimes you tend to pause in the middle and go ‘ahhh… when you are ahhh… ahhh… tense… ahhh….”…that kind of figure of speech… it’s non-existent with Rig. Every sentence completes without any pause in the middle and there was not a moment that he ran out of words. And the amazing thing is that it was all about me and the connection between my current situation and my past.

I came out of it feeling refresh and burdens lifted from me. Sometimes, we refused to do certain things because we think we are too great for it or we feel we are too high up there to do it. But I thank God that I humbled myself and made time to attend the counselling session. I did not let my ego over-rule me.

It was a very enlightening experience and I believe it is was a time ordained by Him and I truly want to give Him thanks and praise for that.