Today marks the end of the 49 days mourning period for my mom’s passing. Some asked me why 49 days. Well, honestly, I don’t really know. I can only say, it was derived from 7 x 7. At least that’s what they told me.
So yes, the vegetarian days are over, but I am not exactly screaming in delight. As a matter of fact, I am feeling quite low now. Can't believe it has already been 49 days since mom went away… since I last spoke to mom… since I last heard her voice… since I last tasted her delicious cooking… since I last had a mother. I can still remember, very clearly, the phone call from my brother, the sight of mom on the bed, the words spoken to me by the doctor, those words from my cousin about how it wasn't meant to be a surprise, the chill of mom’s body when I last touched her, the sorrow the engulfed me when I pressed the button at the crematorium… everything is so clear in my head. And I reckon I will never be able to erase any of them… not that I want to, but everything is so clear, I feel as though I am going through them all over again just by thinking about it.
I think I have done stupendously well in the last 49 days in keeping the house in order to a certain extent, and of course, going vegetarian. Tell you one thing, the struggle is not eating vegetarian, but finding vegetarian food to eat. Most of the time, I eat the same thing over and over again. Many people said I have lost weight, but I think I have lost all those muscles I gained the gym due to lack of protein. It’s time hit the weights again.
I knew life will change the day the doctor told me mom is beyond any medical assistance, but the magnitude of the change really took me by surprise. It was also an eye opening experience to actually feel how it is like to maintain a house. How frequent the floor needs to be swept, how often the bathroom floor needs to be scrubbed, how often laundry needs to be done… if you have been living in the comfort of my-mom/maid-does-them-all, you better pray you don’t have to do house chores one day.
One thing I have discovered, or sort of re-discovered, is my interest in cooking. I have done more cooking in the last 48 days as compared to the time since I came back from UK till mom’s passing. I have developed a lot since my chef entries… cooked some pasta for my family and I have successfully prepared soup a few times. Now that vegetarian days are over, I guess I can try more things.
Anyway, putting food on the dinner table made me think of the time when I craved for something. All I needed to do was to hint to my mom, within 3 days max, I am sure the dish I craved will be on the table. Now… I guess I have to cook it myself, provided I know. How things have changed.
There is also one irritating habit that I have, which I can no longer practise. Whenever I cook myself instant noodles at night, I will conveniently leave the bowl and everything on the sink, knowing that mom will clean them in the morning. But now, if I leave them tonight, those dirty dishes will be there for a thousand years… no kidding. I have never said a word of thank you to my mom for all those time she cleaned my late night dishes, but yet, I know she happily cleaned them for me, without a word of complaint.
My thoughts are all over the place right now, so many memories, so many words unspoken, of which will always remain unspoken. But of all things, I remember one of mom’s most prominent wishes… that mom wanted to be remembered… always. She tried very hard to ensure that she stays in our heart forever. Of course, she will… but action is louder than words, and since the heart and mind never really speaks, I strongly believe I should put some action into it.
In view of this, I have dedicated one day every month to be vegetarian. Not that I am a Buddhist, but I do it in remembrance of my beloved mom. Mom passed away on the 3rd day of the 2nd month according to the lunar calendar. As such, on the 3rd day of every lunar month, I will be a vegetarian. It is nothing compared to all the love she showered and the sacrifices she made, but I am sure she will be pleased.
I have always loved poems, but it’s a shame I only write one for my mom today…
Dear mom, if you can hear me say
I have missed you since that fateful day
Without a word you went away
Left me in abundant dismay
Oh… what painful 49 days
You have loved me in so many ways
Ways of which I can never repay
Though mourning ends in this month of May
Your love I shall cherish till end of my days
Oh… what painful 49 days
I ask that God will grant you grace
As you rest in peace in your dwelling place
And don’t you worry about my pace
I will continue to run life’s race
But yes… it has been a painful 49 days
Love you mom… I will always remember your love for undeserving me.
93 comments:
whee first to comment!
so poetic! nice! u r really a filial son. ur mum must be really glad her son tai kor chai la... :)
I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. Until today I wake up in the morning sometimes and think to myself, maybe I dreamt it all.
*prepares to send zewt's poem to Mama Zewt*
Sometimes, things get easier, sometimes it gets harder. Whatever it is, keep her close to your heart and she is always there, still.
hmmm..nice poem..vegetarian on every 3rd day of lunar month sounds a great idea..n yeah..getting vegetarian food can b extremely hard..esp if u r picky..like me..kekeke..
This mother's day, will be exactly 15 months to the day my mum passed away. 15 months still seems like yesterday.
Zewt, it is natural to feel low. It is part of the grieving process.
Your mum is definitely with you in spirit. You will feel her in your heart..forever. I bet she is very proud of you. You have done well. :)
"No one ever dies. They just live on in the hearts who love them."
i'm so sorry! i really did not realise this untill this morning although i'm here everyday.
My sincere and deepest heartfelt condolonces!
it's a very sweet poem. I'm sure she heard you, somewhere somehow...
Zewt, my mum has been sick for the past few months. She has refused surgery that can help to make her better.
Now, you know one of the few reasons for my depression - which I'm desperately hiding from her. It's so hard to smile everyday - as if everything is gonna be alright.
I'm now doing all the tasks that she had done for us. Things will never be the same again.
I don't blog about this, Zewt. In fact, this is the 1st time that I actually wrote anything publicly about it.
Lastly, regarding your Mum's passing, as William Penn said, "Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live on in one another still."
Hence, your Mum lives forever within you.
Your love for her is beyond the description of words. She is resting in full peace.
HUGS
oh i didnt know about ur mom!! im so sorry!! and ur poem is beautiful!!! i like the 49 days period (7x7), but i think when its ur mom u never stop mourning...u can feel a little better but u never heal completly!! anyway life goes on and im sure shes an angel now!!!:) kisssssessssssss and hug!!
u've won i deleted the email d la ahahaha - erm ya u can go for the non-vege food i wont tempt u anymore ...
Cirnelle doggedly googled "49 days" and all she got was some horror movie review.
Some pages later, found this: Buddhist Care of the Dying (URL link: http://melbournesakya.org.au/pdf/buddhist_care_dying.pdf)
It's a perspective into different practices in different countries, makes interesting reading, sort of. But still no answers to the why...
Its a sweet poem you have there, zewt... I'm sure your mom knows how much u love her... *hugs*
ur mom will receive tat poem u wrote for her..cheer up man..
It's not true that you no longer have a mother. She will always be your mother.
After almost 11 years, I'm still mourning over the loss of my dad on occasions.
The heart of a mother is a deep gulf at the bottom of which you will always find love and forgiveness.
wowww amazing poem!!
i think you'll still cry sometimes through the years.
i miss my grandfather too. i cry sometimes.
but take comfort in that the tears make u stronger. it keeps you happy.
you've really touched my heart.... so deep that it knocks on my head on how i've been appreciating what mom has been sacrificing & doing for me all these while.......& seriously i need to do more than just appreciation!
My sincere condolence to you but you've been a real good boy..your mom felt that!
Cheers!
Chance upon ur blog.
My condolences to u n ur family.
I can feel the deep pain and the loss thru ur entry, stay strong!
xoxo!
U are really a very hau soon chai chai lor... I am sure your mom knows it..... Yes yes when U cooking???
My keyboard was all wet with tears after reading your article. I'm so touched. People nowadays don't have much filial piety as you have shown here. Death do happen in our life but life has to go on. I’m sure she will want it that way too.
A nicely written poem you have there. She will be real happy in heaven to know how much you love her. May her soul rest in peace.
My sincere condolences to you and your family
Lovely entry. Tugged at my heartstrings (sorry le.. dunno how to cry one dis gal)...
Brought back a lot of memories for me too...
but i guess part of the healing process is talking (or blogging) bout it will make the transition period of letting go easier. by letting go i don't mean forget abt them but more or less, life has to go on. but the thing wit us human is we tend to forget so it's best to write dem down and when we revisit our memories, we get to enjoy it a second time.
my heartfelt condolences to u n ur family and may ur mom look down upon u with smile wherever she is.
i shall leave u with this lyrics from Josh Groban's - To Where You Are
Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
p.s. sorry i took up so much space. jz wanted to share the song wit u (i've shorten it by cutting the repeats). it really helped me in my own healing process
What can I say? Anyway I look forward to ur cooking entries. Have a nice & very very hot day.
hi zwet. i lost my dad in may 31st last year. wrote him a poem too after he's gone. totally understand how u feel. u know, no matter it's 49 or 490 or 4900 days later, those memories will be forever fresh in your mind. love, on the other hand, just keeps getting stronger. know that she's in a better place, and she's proud of u that u've grown up so much in just 49 days :)
hey theres no need to feel dismayed now =) im sure she wouldnt want you to be feeling down
anyways
lets go makan daging kuat kuat some time kay now that youre not a vegan anymore ill help u to switch from a level 4 vegan to a level 4 carnivorous animal
i'm sorry bout your mum, my sincere condolences to your family and you..
guess most of us take our parents for granted, i remembered i had a hard time when i move up KL on my own to study, taking things that my mum provided for me (like food, cleaning house and doing laundry) for granted..now, i cherish whatever time i get to spend wth my parents..
Cheer up bro! =).
You lost your mom, but in return you gained thousands of net friends who all sincerely care about you!
there's a time for grieving and there's a time for moving on
=)
part and parcel of life... don't we want more time with our loved ones? I remember how I was when my grandpa passed away. I still get all teary when I talk about him. however, the memories and love will never fade. God Bless.
*smile*
honestly, im speechless after reading this.
sometimes, we should learn how to move on.
time flies.. soon it will be one year.. 2 years and etc.. saddening..
Nice poem there! Keep strong!
kyh - i not only tai kor hai... i 'lo' already... :)
firehorse - hello there, welcome to As Zewt As It Gets. what dream you had?
angel - thanks :)
5xmom - thanks. i will surely keep her close in my heart. she will always remain there. :)
neno - well, thank God i am not picky... so i sapu everything... :)
JT - love your last line. my mom will surely lives in me for all time.
bakaq aka penarik baca - thank you for your kind words... well, it has already been 49 days.
may - thanks. i really hope she will... but then again, mom doesnt understand english.
jemima - so sorry to hear about your mom. i guess your mom is also taking my mom's approach... she prefer to move on and not be a burden perhaps? whatever her reason may be, i wish she will recover somehow. hope you will stay strong. i know it's testing time. and yeah... doing all the housework is quite an experience... i know...
confessing7girl - yeah, life indeed goes on... but it's just tough. sometimes, i feel days can get tougher as it passes. thanks for your kind words.
jaezrel - they blardy finish the voucher.
cirnelle - i was told family members who goes vege for 49 days will brighten the path of the deceased towards nirvana.
calvin's wife - thanks... i am sure she will :)
ritchie - thanks man. appreciate your words.
Jomel - yeah, good point. but the feeling is different.
Gallivanter - i guess the mourning never ends eh? let's come up for drinks one day bro.
Huei - thanks :)
imp - yeah, it did made me stronger. but makes me happier... well, perhaps in the future.
Jacss - welcome to As Zewt As It Gets. well, at least you appreciate her. i didnt even do that, which i will forever regret. thanks for your kind words... hope to see ya around...
zeezee - thanks for your kind words and thanks for dropping by. a big welcome and hope to see ya around.
Wennnn - this weekend? :)
the beautiful memories will remain forever.
CRIZ LAI - hi there! welcome to As Zewt As It Gets. thanks for your kind words and sorry that you wet your keyboard, didnt mean that at all. yeah, i am sure mom will like the poem. but God will have to translate it to her, since she is not exactly an english person :) hope to see ya around.
aSstHa - yeah, i think i am still very much in the transition period, one that may take years. but i am prepared for it. thanks for your kind words and yes, i love that song from josh groban very much. i wish i can sing that in church one day... :) you've lost someone you loved too?
Hor Ny - thanks man... i will post them up soon perhaps.
Cyanide - hi there, welcome to As Zewt As It Gets. indeed, many have said that the mourning will never end. and i am glad she will continue to live in my heart. hope to see ya around...
TTL - hahaha... sure. mana makan?
sc - hey there. welcome to my blog. yeah, i guess it's a human curse. like i said in one of my entry, it's a trap on both sides. hope to see ya around.
jazzi - yeah, i am very thankful for all you guys! thank God for all you guys!
bubbly soda - thanks for your kind words. it will always hurt but it's good, cos it keeps mom in my heart.
baby sa - move on i must... but not with everything put away... have to carry some things to go, know what i mean?
april - and the feelings will remain...
seok thong - thanks :) i will
nyonyapenang - amen to that... forever remain, that's for sure!
Nice blog especialy the look and feel. To me your site epitomize what they say a blog is all about - keeping a personal diary, your musings. Leave a nice after taste when I exit. Keep it up!
Sorry to read about your mum's demise. You must have missed her very much.
Your mum muz be so proud of you for doing such a good job taking good care of your home! =) Mother's day is coming. So let's all celebrate together. The greatness of your mum!
Take care!
Hold your breath,
As you touch the coldest ice not of snow,
Warm it with your very sigh
And smile a thousand suns
For what comes after the winter is spring,
And death will never mean the end
Watch the sun rising at the east,
And the water flowing to the west;
And you shall see time will never stop
As does life shall slip away
Silently, just in front of your nose.
Hold your breath,
And look up
She's smiling, for you've grown.
You will never ever forget your loved ones who have passed on. But more importantly, you must make good your time with your other loved ones who are still here.
i dont know. in fact why not invite a few bloggers and go out haha
That is a very meaningful decision zewt. If you mom could read this, I'm sure she will be very very touched.
I just noticed the birds flying around on your banner. Goodness knows why I never noticed the birds before, even though i've visited your site many many times. Maybe it was as you say.. I 'tak khan sei um ta han peng' and was too busy to notice such things as the circling birds.
But looking at your banner now, the sunrays on your banner and the circling birds remind of one value which keeps us alive. HOPE.
We do not now that life will get better... we can only hope.
oh well..at least she knows u still got her at heart..take ur time to phase out of it..not sure whether she knows how to access the computer up there..did u send her a computer?
oh yeah..where do u gym?
Zewt, I meant when my dad passed away suddenly I kept on thinking it was a dream, and each day when I go to sleep I will wake up hoping that it was all a nightmare and that it didn't really happen. And that he was still alive.
i said i offered u mine u dowan muahahahaha
make it 80 then u dont have to pay a single cent muahahha
it will have been nice to tell her all these when she was alive...unfortunately, you didn't have a chance. i hope that in your mourning for your beloved mother, you have not forgotten that you have a father whom you can still devote and express your love.
If i'm not mistaken, 49 days is the number of days the soul has to go through before he / she is being reborn again - reincarnation. Not sure that is buddhism or taoism believe... i forgot. If your mom believes, maybe now she is being reborn as a new person in this world.
Hey know what? I totally understand how you feel. Tho she's not my mother but she took care of me while my mother was busy working day and night. My granmother took real good care of my when I was young. Thus by nature and bonding, I love my grandmother more than anyone I've ever known and still do. Ever since she passed away life has changed. Losing a person we love so much can be a pain when they leave us for Heaven.
I'm very sure your mother is smiling as she reads your poetry. :) It is very beautiful in deed.
This post is a good reminder for all of us to think about our own mother as Mother's Day is coming. Thank you for your courage to post this up. It gives me a thought about my mother too.
You're very strong! ;)
Good poem! What a good son, I cried again... argh!
zewt,
I've lost 4 person who meant dearly to my world, and because when they were alive, my whole reason for working so hard was to provide for them but now they're gone.
one after another went in within the span of 6mths to a year so it was like hving to go throught the ordeal again and again before i got the chance to heal. but everytime i stumble, i jz pick myself up and carry on for there are still some who's depending on me to be their rock. hence my blog is my outlet for when i go home, i hv to be strong and help the rest to heal.
"what doesn't kill you only makes u stronger" eh?
Yeah I cried too... Really a mother is someont most special in our lives.
I so touched by your poem. When I loss my gong gong also I feel so sad. Until today after 9 years he had left, I can still cry when I look at his pictures and start telling people about him. That is why at times, I don't want to talk so much about things between him and me. Tak boleh tahan and I will cry. Malumah........ I learn a lesson - that is to appreciate and love the person while he or she still alive. Don't wait till they are 7ft under the ground baru we want to do something. Too late liau. That is why, no matter how tired I am during the weekend when I go back to my parent house, I will spend time talking to my mom.
That was a lovely poem because its written from your heart. The very best poems are written from the heart. Reading your post, I can see how much your mum loved you and how much you love her too. Please don't be sad Zewt. I want to share a something with you. Please click on this link to read.
I'm sorry, if the link doesn't open properly, please copy and paste this address on your browser to read.
http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/mom-journey.php
if you can write one poem, you can write a thousand. :) i know it's tough, been there, done that. lost my daddy in 95 - i was in form 5, just a few months b4 spm. it was tough but with other family members. you'll be ok. *hugs*
I'm so so so sorry about your mom's passing. I guess all that is to say has been said and I dun think I can add another comforting words to you that's gonna make you feel any better.
All the best to you and may the fond memories of your mom stay with you always. :-)
take ur time to grieve.. it is a process that takes time. there's no need to shut it out & bury it quickly...
i read in a devotion that when a loved one passes, it is good to feel the pain & hurt. don't deny it. that does not mean that one dwells on the sadness & not move on but more like allowing yourself to feel it when it comes.
hope this helps.
Daily Nibbler - hey there, welcome and thanks for dropping by. well, i think blog has evolved a lot since it's existence. thank you for your kind words... hope to see ya around.
Princess Shin - yeah, celebrate we shall! hope you will give your mom a big kiss and hug!
conan_cat - thanks brother for a nicely written piece. yeah, i've grown, we all grow, one way or another.
mh - i am certainly doing that. :)
TTL - haha... u wanna organise?
Theodwyn - you're right, the sunset scene does sorta give a 'hope' feel... too bad that's not the theme of my blog. dont be 'tak han sei em tak han peng'... cos if something tragic really happen to you... your loved ones will suffer.
constant craver joe - haha, we dont believe such thing. she is a buddhist anyway, not a taoist. i go to california fitness.
firehorse - yeah, i know what you mean. i was very sick yesterday night and as i was lying down on my bed, i remember the time i can just call to my mom. i almost wanted to call... see if someone replies.
jaezrel - no need la.
me - father is a different story altogether. but i still try.
purple mushroom - i was told that the path towards nirvana will be brightens up if the family members go vege for 49 days. u know... 'sai fong gik lok sai kai'. not too sure about reincarnation.
Nastasshea@Nesh - well, a man sometimes have to take down his pride and realised that we are humans after all... vulnerable to emotional distress. hope you have a nice mothers day with your mom. sorry to have made u cry.
Kenny Ng - :)... sorry man...
aSsTHa - so sorry to hear about your loss. i respect you... 4 person in the space of a year... u must be devastated. well... you have really grown isnt it? to be able to pick up yourself again and again and continue with life is truly something. yeah... if it doesnt kill you... you will be stronger. just like how you are now.
erinalaw - yeah, that's good. it's always easier said than done. hope you have a very good mothers day celebration with your mom. you're a mom too right? then i am sure u will know how a children can give mothers the smile of her life.
mumsgather - thanks for that lovely site. the music if beautiful. i will try my best to remember those words.
yvy - sorry to hear abour your dad. oh... if you took your spm in 95, then we should be the same age :)
helen - thanks for your kind words. appreciate it. ya, mom will forever stay in my heart. welcome and hope to see ya around.
big rice - i know what you mean. but sometimes, it can be really painful. just have to deal with it. part and parcel of life.
It's really a nice poem, i'm sure your mom will be real happy cause her wish that will be remember has already done by you, Who know's maybe your mom get your poem ? Be strong my friend, proud that on every month you take vege for her..
I sincerely hope ur mom will be on eternal peace...CYAH..
Your mum's legacy will continue to live on in you, zewt. It's so touching that you are able to share your thoughts and feelings here on this blog.
I think it's lovely that you are setting aside a day of vegetarianism for your mother especially when you are not a Buddhist.
And it's so true about the things our mothers do for us without us having to express it out.
My parents were phenomenal after my nasty incident. Mum was a brick helping to take care of my kids while I was busy running around sorting things out and dad was around to accompany me to the police station. I think dad was very touched when I expressed thanks because suddenly he turned very mellow and philosophical!!
yea it's hard but it was their time and the healing was easier wen we think back and realise they no longer hv to suffer so it somehow soothes the hurt...
another way i think helps is by making a scrap book of their lives. but not too soon. i feel it's a bit too soon for u but den again only u and u alone know wen the time's right.
i made a photo album entirely dedicated to my brother including all his newpaper clippings (was photograph quite often at his school for the handicap) plus the newpaper clipping on his death (even in death he gets a write-up how many of us get that huh?) and it was painful but den again i got to relive all those precious memories i had with him once more and even tho i end up crying but there's aso a contented smile on my face for i felt blessed at least i got the chance to hv memories w him.
same as u n ur mom i guess. mayb u shud try it out. try n find all pictures u can gather of her life from baby til the last photo. something u can revisit time n time again and the memories are wonderful i tell u :)
take care and hope all's well. life goes on after all but that shudn't be an excuse to forget rite? neither do i think u want to but us being human, well let's face it it does happen
oops... i jz realised i've made a blunder... sorry... always wanted to keep my comments short... it was four persons in d span of a year (orless) for the past four years meaning, one year one person lo... still quite hard to deal with nonetheless... :)
sorry for the mistake mate ;)
fiona the confusing girl - hello there again, been a while since i hear from u. hope you are coping well. glad you like my poem... hope you had a good mothers' day celebration with your mom.
rinnah - i am doing my best rinnah... hope she will always smile on me from the heaven...
kat - oh... what nasty incident? well, though we dont really say it often, when the words are uttered from our mouth and it lands on the ears of our parents, it's always very soothing...
aSstHa - oh... 1 year 1 person, not that it's any good but certainly sounds less devastated. anyhow, i think you really coped well, i probably would have gone crazy.... seriously.
i must say thank you for your brilliant idea. yeah, mom really wanna be remembered and i should do all i can to remember her. not that i will forget about her but action speaks louder than words... al album with all her photos will be brilliant! thank you !
Zewt,
I was teary-eyed after reading this post...
My mom is coming up for my convo soon...hopefully after reading this post,I'll have the courage to tell her everything I've wanted to tell her but never did...*prays*
mar - i think you should pick up the phone and give her a call now.
hey .. just saw this. so sorry to hear about your mom.
rashikaps - thanks :)
so sorry to hear about your mom.
as i sat and read all the entries you wrote about your mom, i do reckon that writing them all into a book would be a good idea. publishing it would be a good idea too, not b/c of the money, but because you will be sharing your experience with many others, showing how great a mother's love can be.
hey zewt,
thanks for visiting my blog and the blog welcome :)
yes, i know jenny (my friend is her brother's girlfriend - if that makes sense). she's really good at photography, so good choice ;)
I've just read all your posts regarding your mom. They made me get up and give my mum a hug. I have a feeling that I'd come back and re-read them again and again just to remind myself of the importance of family, especially my mom. :) Thanks zewt, for sharing your story.
joanna - no worries... too bad jenny is not going to be my photographer though.
mimi-C - hi there. i am glad what i wrote made you at least give a hug to your mom. but i hope it doesnt stop there. there're much more things that you can do... things that i cant, and i hope that you will... thanks for visitin and hope to see ya again.
hi Zewt. just read yr poem in 1 of yr posts. what a lovely poem & story of yrs. tks. another alarm to me to love yr loves one each day.hr.min.sec. while they r still around. :)
loh - hi there. welcome! i am glad it touches you in certain ways... hope your relationship with your parents continue to flourish.
im sorry to hear about your mother.
i'm sure she will be proud if she knows not only that her son remembers and misses her, he also appreciates all the hard work and love she has given to him all this while.
i hope you stay strong. wishing you all the best in life, love and happiness.
=)
p/s - the poem was a tearjerker =T
Zaty - hey, thanks for your words of comfort. will sure listen to your advice :)
Beautifully written poem. Think your mom would have been smiling down on you reading that poem.
Ireth - i am sure she would. u must tell me how you managed to reply to all these comments!
in my work place, i got nothing to do and jsut simply go through this post...when i read it, i found my eyes were tearing...bcoz what you stated are the things i have always done! as anyone else..i guess... am leaving to the uk, for all this while, i was thinking how long i will be there and wondering should i come back to malaysia after i comply my study...the main reason i would put myself on this question is due to MY MUM...from many years ago, i started to realised that my mum is getting older and i found that her body is getting weaker and her movement of walking is slower than ever before...i scare my mum will leave me away..i was crying to my best friend...he said it's normal and he seems doesnt really care about it..>_<" i sincerely hope that i will come back asap...sigh~
alcoholic - well... u have to remember that their time is limited, as bad as that may sound. we as children must cherish the time when they are still around. dont ever end up like me. you will regret for the rest of yoru life.
yea, am trying to accompany her as i seldom go out..even if i do..i am trying to get home when my mum still awake...i want let her see me...even we seldom talk....even we jsut watch dramas together in the living room....this is what i knew and i could do....
alcoholic - well...that is more than enough already. i am sure it brings a smile to her face.
Sorry for your loss.
You are a good poet!
petite lass - hi there... welcome! thanks... :)
The 49 days or 7x7 is from Buddha's final days as he approached final enlightenment. Seven weeks.
It does get easier.
anon @ 5/12 2.57am - well, it was a good experience to remember Mom.
It will not truly have success, I feel like this.
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