Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Parents these days

I met up with some friends a few weeks ago over lunch. Turn the clock back 5 years and we will most probably be bitching about our bosses. But since one of them is now a director while the other is a senior manager with one of the Big 4 accounting firms, we usually now bitch about… staff, about how staff nowadays will resign if you make them work excessive overtime and so on.

This time however, the conversation took another twist. This time, they were bitching about… the parents! The stories…

An executive director was giving training to young associates. As the clock struck 5.30pm, someone knocked on the door. It was the mother of one of the newly recruited associate. Apparently, it was time for mommy to pick daughter home.

In the midst of a meeting, a staff (different from above) said she has to go. The official office hour has ended. Her reason… the mother was waiting downstairs to fetch her home. Is the office a school or something?

Apparently, there are lot of parents who send their “kids” to work and fetch them back everyday. Very loving parents indeed…

A staff of my director friend was working overtime for a few days running. The staff didn’t say anything, but the parent called up my friend! It was not a friendly call. Credit to the staff, she never complained and was happy to work. Just the parent reacted differently. Talk about being protective.

There was an external meeting and a staff was asked to drive there for the meeting. She called her dad for permission, and permission was not granted. My director friend insisted that she go as it is part of her employment requirement. Permission was granted, but she has to tell the father that she has reached the destination safely.

A staff asked my director friend to grant him 2 weeks leave. Due to a tight working schedule, the leave application was denied. He told my friend that he has to go because… the father has already booked him for a 2 weeks holiday.

This staff comes to work in a Camry. She complained that her car was too big. The father bought her a CRV. Wow! What a small car indeed!

Starting pay in this firm is currently RM2,600. After working for a while, the father insisted that his child stop working. The child resisted. The father paid the child RM2,600 to not work.

Don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not advocating that people should work late and die for their company. But surely, there must be a time when the protective grip be released for someone to experience the world.

I am not a parent yet, so maybe I will react in the same manner. But I will certainly allow my children to experience adulthood and give them the opportunity to mature from student life to a working life. Of course, I am not asking people to be
a parent like this (which has drawn some stinging comments), but there should be a balance.

It is not an easy transition; the sooner parents let their children go through some “hands-on” training, the better.


1 year ago…
How much?

3 years ago…
A very misleading document

29 comments:

Linda said...

Two consecutive posts about parenting, are you going to be one anytime soon?

Some of those young staff probably have wealthy parents who has their own company. Sadly, they choose to experience the world leaving their parents with high hope that one day they will go back and help them.

LC Teh said...

OMG!!! The Chauffeur-driven schoolkids have come of age!!!

MKL said...

Ah........ my 32 years old girlfriend still needs to go home (parents' house) every day and can't sleep over at the boyfriends. They don't allow. And she has a good job and everything... but... parents still tell her what to do. It's sometimes really hard, but she says that's the culture here in Taiwan. Your post reminds me of that. Seriously, Asian parents seem to be too clingy. At what age is a kid an adult? 50? I wonder. You should let go, Zewt. Even, if your daughter will be a big catch, at least at age 25.. let go :)

day-dreamer said...

I am already very thankful for the freedom I enjoy before reading your post.

Now, I'm lagi thankful my parents caught the exact right timing to "let go".

fufu said...

yeah... i must say i am the luckiest person :) hihihi but after reading this... i wanna be spoiled like that fella!!! so i would have enjoyed my childhood life and spent more time with friends during my teenage age >< sigh... anyway i still have more friends...

sinlady said...

it's a two-way street isn't it: over-protective parents and over-reliant adult children.

Nisya Harisy 71 said...

Hahhahahah....nice entry. That's the culture nowadays. Parents tend to be overprotective, but still...it depends...=)

zthon said...

i do know people who require parents to fetch them to work etc. and in a way they are living comfortably and they don't hope to change that because they don't have to worry about where to live and which public transport to take and shortage of income because they have their parents around them.

on another note. if the staff is driving a camry or other branded cars to work. will the boss still raise his/her salary? he/she is already loaded anyway :p

drumsticks said...

haha, i thought mine was too protective, until i read this post... T_T

Clare said...

What a lucky girl! I wouldn't complain if I am driving a Camry to work and the Camry is given by my father! But then again, I rather not being spoilt like that.

Pinknpurplelizard said...

Is there some baby Zewt or Juls coming?

Btw your post is nothing new. A lot of parents nowadays never let their kids earn their position or their rights esp to spend. The parents' 'kindness' will be the kids' 'poison' later in life.

Terra Shield said...

Gosh. I thought mine were protective too, but thank goodness not to this extent. Seriously, those employers should just not hire kids like them. How are they supposed to be able to be responsible and work independently if the parents keep menyibukking?

gracieq said...

Some parents do not want to go through the empty nest syndrome, hence the "protective" stance.

I've left home to pursue my studies and now work since I finish F5 and my Mum still goes through the empty nest syndrome once in a while. But it gets better gradually with time. I'm glad she doesn't try too hard to stop me from being an adult. :)

Anonymous said...

hahaha...so funny(^.^|||) ...
i'm 23 this year, i sleep in my friend house sometime with the reason of tired after karaoke, go club - alone, drink 1/4 hard liquor in 2 hrs, go KL work - alone, go Genting - alone, go beach at 4am- alone, go club or party or makan with 4 guys and i'm the only girl.....etc,alone, or my friends parent not allowed things...this all things, my mum know,she choose to believe me, because of we have an understanding " u have to responsible of what u did".....
still remember when im at KL work, i stay at "red area", been followed by foreigner 2 times, bacause of cheap rental, i step out company atleast 10pm, my mum always ask me to go back early, ur working time is finish, no need to rush job with them, i told her i'm happy on finish-ing my job and this is my responsible to finish the job....
she understand. sometime working for me is just a fun, meeting people, dealling with people, meeting difficulties, solve it... she just told us, "u can fly wherever you what, to get whatever you want, dont worry that i'm alone at home, but u have to remember that, when something happen, u felt tired,lonely, or sad, u have a house/home in penang, there have me, i'll always open my hand to welcome u all back."...
i back to penang to accompany her after 6 month i work at KL, bro at singapore for past 5 years, sis at eypgt at the moment, is going to UK next month for backpack!she already backpack more that 1 year....and previous 5 years she is at singapore.....
she is correct, on my thinking. let go is the best way to learn....Mimi.i love u (this is the word i never said, but she always says this to her children) ^.^


keis

Rashikaps said...

Hah ha! I'm so glad my parents 'let go' and I didn't have to 'break free' :D:D

A salary to not go to work .. ah! no taxes .. no boss to nag - great if it means the father is not going to dictate what one must do with one's time..

Huei said...

people ask me why i stay out when my mum's place is just so nearby. this is why. she won't let go, so i make her!

but then again she do call at 6:05pm and when i'm still at the office she'll start nagging. figures. she's never supportive of my jobS anyway!

~aSstHa~ said...

lols... reminds me of d days wen i was still in secondary school... i tink that was d last time i recall my mom picking/dropping me off for tuition (no, school she dun drop me... i used to walk n later on had a van to follow when v moved further)... no idea if my mom wud b more controlling if i din leave home all those years ago but these days even if i don't come home n i forget 2 sms 2 inform my mom, i'd never get a call/sms from my mother unless it goes until really late d next day say 3-4pm n still no sign of me since i'm usually home b4 noon if i stay outside. mom's easygoing but my other two aunts... *haih*... they're a different story all together but i jz dun bother cos they're not my mom...

iamlazymouse said...

fetch to work, pay holiday and pay salary monthly so no need to work... i want also.

lol!

but the part where parents called the boss etc for making the children work late happened in my company too. so now when i interview staff, first Q: do your FAMILY have a prob with you working late?

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

wahlau eh..n i thought i was spoilt but clearly i havent seen any fresh meat lately or have i just turned old?

InjusticeSistem said...

Ok im so god damn jealous right now
Who's that girl?
I'm so gonna date+drug+rape her,get her pregnant n marry her.Then her daddy can gimme a beemer + a cushy high payroll short hr job so i can go home early n drive safely in a beemer to go home n tk good care of her daughter.
How's tat for protective daddy n protective hubby?Cun boh?I'll gv u commission for introducing tat gal to me (provided i get ething i stated above la)
Cun boh?!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

missironic said...

It is so IMPOSSIBLE tat my mum will pay me rm2,600 to NOT work... She'll just tell me to suck it up and hang in there. Or find a new job! She'll not support me anymore... Well, she stopped supporting me since i work anyway... Hahaha.. so, my parents being tat protective? Will never happen! Hahaha...

eiling lim said...

Parents are a lil bit paranoid on their children nowadays. They plan everything for them and prob they have gone through the work slaving days and they know that their children are going down the same road and would like to change that?

doc said...

i get the impression that these are parents whose kids don't need to work (despite their expensive overseas education??).

could it be that their parents sent them out for hands-on training before taking over the family businesses, or are they just waiting for the right one to come along before settling down??

zewt said...

Linda - haha... not quite... not yet...

LC Teh - no, they have not ;P

MKL - haha... definitely will. anyway, taiwan, i think they will be a lil more traditional.

day-dreamer - hahaha... dont like to be driven around?

fufu - you already quite well taken care lor... can travel everywhere :P

zewt said...

sinlady - two roads diverge on a .... too bad i cant travel both :P

Nisya Harisy 71 - hello there. will you be like them?

zthon - well, that's a good point. but then again, will such staff stay until salary review time?

drumsticks - haha... how protective are yours?

Clare - independent is still the best... a sense of pride.

pinknpurplelizard - nah... not yet. :P

zewt said...

Terra Shield - well, if they dont hire these ppl, there are not much good quality ppl around. all the really good ppl are all... not coming back... sigh...

gracieq - well, i think the children should play a role in trying to grow up as well. you have done that.

anon aka keis - so you're back to penang to be with your mom. i must say that will be the best decision you will ever make. i am sure your mom smiles deeply when she sleep knowing that you are there with her. anyway, why you go club alone and to the beach at 4am alone?

rashikaps - hey! well, the only thing that father will dictate is .... work!

huei - why the time is so precise wan?

aSstHa - haahahha... have to inform your mom sometimes lah... dont make her worry :)

zewt said...

iamlazymouse - hhahahahaha... damn, for real! another case!

constantly craving joe - well, question is... will we spoil our kids in the future?

InjusticeSistem - eh, have to make sure that girl's father has got connection with you-know-who lah... else, you wont make it big wan.

missironic - that's our mom... our parents... but the other parents... sigh...

eiling lim - protect and change have to be done within reasonable means though...

doc - i think they just purely dont need to work. parents work hard enough... dun wanna let the children suffer. wrong mentality though.

Huei said...

hahahha cos she's the overly protective and slightly insane mum that finishes work at 530 btw.. but at least i don't start work at 830!!!!!

zewt said...

huei - work finishes at 5.30... no more such song to sing lor...