Tuesday, 24 April 2007

Signs of times…

Today marks the exact one month since mom was cremated. As I pause to remember mom, I suddenly recalled how mom will look at me and say wrinkles are slowly building around my eyes. To my mom, I was getting old, to which I always disagree, and sometimes, a small argument will break out. But as I see my days when I can still tell people I am in my 20s slowly diminishing, I can't help but say… age is indeed catching up…

Remember those times when you opened a forwarded mail and it talks about things in the 80s and 90s and you laugh at them, and how you can really relate to them. And at the end of the e-mail, you feel you’re really old? Well, let me present you with my version of those I-feel-old situation. It’s so true to me and I wonder if it will be true to you. For those who were born in the 80s and 90s… well… you will only feel this in about 10 years time.

I remember those times when I was a die-hard Real-Time-Strategy (RTS) games. It all started with Dune II, Command & Conquer, Red Alert and my all time favourite… Starcraft. Do you used to play them? I love them and would spend my time in front of the PC religiously jus to crack my head on how to get pass a level. I still love playing computer games, but I just couldn’t find the energy to play RTS game anymore. Now, I just want to play something that shoot and shoot and kill and kill and “bang bang bang”… all die. Ok… game over. Too lazy to think, just want to shoot something.

I remember those times when I can really eat. You know the leng-jai colleague who hails from UK whom I mentioned earlier? Man! He can really eat! We once went to a nice chicken rice and siew-yok store and after all of us have tamed the glutton in us, he raised his hands and ordered an additional plate of char-siew rice just for himself. I used to be like that… where buffet operators fear the sight of me. Those who are close to me will know… Zewt is always hungry… and if Zewt is not hungry… something is wrong. But you know what, that’s no longer the case… I just can't eat that much anymore and I can't help but relate that to … age. It’s true you know.

I remember the time I used to hate dislike playing badminton with uncles. They are so slow and always fail to pose any challenge. Badminton games are bored with them. Now on the other hand… playing with uncles made me feel good. It’s the only time I can win… ok la.. maybe not that bad. But you get the flow… and soon, playing with me will not be “challenging” anymore. Also remember those days when pain is not in my vocab in a game of football. Now, I can remain contact-less in the entire game and yet the next day… some parts somewhere will hurt.

There has also been a change in my figure of speech. I will naturally refer to a person in their teens as kids (no offence). And of course, the ever dreaded situation of your friends asking their children (yes, my friends have children) to call me uncle instead of ‘go-go’. Well, there are still people who calls me young, ya’ know… those people in their 40s. And oh… those young college girls used to be hot chicks. Now… well… let’s just not go there.

I remember the time when I can't wait to finish school and have a taste of college life. But now, every Sunday when I go back to school for my football game… I never fail to feel a little… nostalgic. Those days when I used to wear the white and green are so so so long ago. Meeting up with former school mates is getting increasingly difficult. And strange enough… every single time that we meet up… we will talk about the exact same old thing, and we never fail to laugh silly to it… to the exact same old thing.

Those forwarded mails did mention about this and while I am trying to stay original, I just have to bring this point in. A few years ago, the comment that I gave to my peers who are getting married is “so soon?”. Now… it’s “when is your turn?”. Yup, marriage is a common thing now and if you’re not married, something is wrong with you. If you’re still single and available… well… let’s just not go there too.

And yes… a pick from those e-mails… my friends will panic if they tell me their girl is pregnant. An abrupt wedding dinner will soon follows. Now on the other hand… I will usually have to wish my peers congratulations when they blow up their girl’s tummy.

Last but not least… I remember when life was simple and I don’t have to deal with those painful facts of life… death. While I have always been independent, mom’s passing made me apply E=mc2 into my maturity velocity. I have to force myself to grow up. I have to see many things from a very different perspective. And ya’ know, while it has been painful, it has also been rather fulfilling.

Some years ago, when me and my friends met up, and we asked about so and so… the answer goes something like “Oh that guy… graduated already lor”….

Some years passed, we met up, we asked about so and so… the answer goes something like “Oh that guy… become boss already lor”…

Now, when we meet up, we ask about so and so… the answer usually goes something like “Oh that guy… married already lor”…

Add a few more years into the future, the answer probably goes something like “Oh that guy… become father already lor”…

And don’t be surprise if the answer that follows a few years later goes like this… “Oh that guy… die already lor”….

Yup… that day will come…

P/S: Mom, a month has passed but there has never been a day where I ceased to think about you…

55 comments:

Acrelaine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Acrelaine said...

i like this post neh... sounds... more to my interest.. hahaha.. dunno how to describe but just to tell u i like lar.. wtf

and for the eating part, i'm now eating like an elephant.. so i wish i cud grow older quick.. huhu...

wont be leaving messages for a while.. gonna get my 'license to kill'.... take care~!

SuLee said...

oh gosh! thats so true about talked and laugh about those same ol things when meeting up with highschool mates!!

guess coz we all missed the good ol times! well at least looking back there's no regrets? and i seriously hate growing up !

P/S: I tried the oyster mushroom dish but i think i did something wrong, didnt turn out very good leh.

J.T. said...

Hey Zewt, I like this posting of yours. It does make a lot of sense. You kept it original. I am left with the feeling "damn, I am getting old!" :)
I am already 40 but I honestly don't feel it until someone or filling up some document reminds me that I am aging. Oh yeah, and some kids now insist on calling me "auntie". I cannot escape that anymore.

Your reference:
********************************************
"those young college girls used to be hot chicks. Now.. well.. le't just not go there".
********************************************

I find my taste in men have changed. I am married now but I have eyes. Still can look what. Just don't "kacau" lah. Anyway, we will not go there (to borrow Zewt's line).

So Zewt, thank you for that honest reminder of my days gone by. I enjoyed it.

Theodwyn said...

Every day that passes is a day we can never get back.. yet here I am spending the start of revision week watching endless episodes of SailorMoon. Yep.. SailorMoon.. Dunno if that makes me young or old or senile.. maybe just a little nutty.

Excellent post by the way =)

Jemima said...

Regardless of how old a person is, one won't feel one's age as long as one focus on one's dreams instead of one's regrets.

*************************
Btw, during our last X'mas dinner, one of my uncles told us about the 4 ages of men: (1) when you believe in Santa Claus, (2) when you don't believe in Santa Claus, (3) when you are Santa Claus, and (4) when you look like Santa Claus. ;)

kyh said...

seems like u're about to hit 30 eh? i'm js gonna start my 20s journey! HEHE!

next time when someone talks bout zewt, he'll say "Oh that guy! Hv twin kids oredy wor!" Sounds wonderful, ya?

dun think much bout getting old. the most important thing is to live ur life to the fullest, and not regret bout wat u've done or wat u're gonna do. and to treasure and cherish every single moment u spend with ur beloved ones.

J.T. said...

By the way Zewt, your posting made me stay in my memory lane (I was almost making my way out). Thanks for your sharing. You inspired me to write my latest posting.

Jessica said...

Woah..still talking about age eh? Just curious, would you tell anyone your exact age if they ask?? If yes, then I guess you're proud of what you've become all these years..I always wonder why for some people, irregardless of guys or gals, they will just say, as old as you lar, or nothing more than 30 or 40..those answers...

So the next time I see you, I'll ask you, how many kids already??? ahahhaahah!!! Feeling old yet??

Someone who is constantly craving said...

dont say when ur tat age, u talk abt the same old things with ur high school mates..i do the same 2..and i m bearly 22!..

its kinda sad as u c urself gettin older i guess..as for me..if i dun stop losing weight now..i probably see my stomach grow as my age grows..sigh..

thanks for dropping by again..thought u hilang d..anywayz..ur 49 days coming soon..can come out n makan!

jaezrel said...

hey, u made me feel 'older' each day now that i've read ur entry....sobs* muahahah but then again minus the hair dropping part u still got baby face lur...lalal~~~~~~~

Jazzi said...

Geeeyyayahahhrrghghghhh!!!

Don't remind me!!!

=). Ok remind me just a little bit.

T_T.

Huei said...

i wanted to blog about the good old days today!! hehe

u know wut..wringkles at the edge of a guy's eye..is actually very sexy!
serious!!! =P

and u don't look old either!!! hehe

Cirnelle said...

old man zewtie had a blog,
ee ai ee ai oh,
and on his blog he talked 'bout age,
ee ai ee ai oh.

Economist said...

eh zewt your statement is wrong...i dont think those born in the 80s need to wait ten years to feel the way u r describing hahaha...ok maybe not for those born in the EARLY80s.......

anyway bila main challenge STREET FIGTHER 2 WORLD WARRIOR hahahah or HYPER FIGHTHING?

Gallivanter said...

Good post. And I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I'm dreading the day when my turn eventually comes, and because of that, I remind her almost every day how much I love her.

Kenny Mah said...

I do miss the old days, I guess, but perhaps not as much as I should/could. Honestly, this is the first period in my life where I feel like I'm truly living in the "now" --- not self-help mumbojumbo but simply, a strange feeling of contentment.

Don't get me wrong, I still want 1001 things I don't have (or maybe even need) but it doesn't disturb me so much anymore. Perhaps this is truly a sign of getting older? :P

jean said...

i can't agree more...i remembered during my younger days whn we go clubbing at 11pm, we asked why so early?...But now?...if ask to meet at 11pm, why so late? need to sleep at 12am la...

jaezrel said...

o....

PurpLe~MuShRooM said...

That's life... when we look back... sometimes we smile, sometimes we regret, sometimes we wished we would have done better and sometimes we just feel sad. In the end... we just end up 6 feet under. Hmmm... ever wonder what will happen to our blog when we are six feet under?

Dienasty said...

Zewt .. whoah. You've just given me a taste of what it will be like in a few years.

Funny, isn't it, the way people's lives are determined by the smallest of actions? On night of passion, one pregnancy.

One bad result slip, one amazing career.

Life is a complex tapestry indeed.

TTL! said...

old man.. you better brush up your skills and one day we can play c&c 3 together >=)

it seems that old people (20s) love to cycle. try picking up the sport, its teh best non-contact sport haha. if youre free drop by at KSH bicycle shop at TTDI to have a look

zewt said...

Acrelaine - eating like an elephant? dont think elephant has a big appetite, no? oh... good luck... kill as many people as you can yeah? see ya soon.

SuLee - oh... how did it taste like? did you follow my recipe ah?

J.T. - haha... i wonder how a woman of 40 look at men... would be interesting to know how that taste change. yes, let's just not go there haha! and i am glad you enjoyed my entry. and i shall read your latest entry...

Theodwyn - errr.... sai-lor-moon? i should reserve my comment, to each its own. after all, i am really really really looking forward to transformers this july. thanks for your compliment (again).

Jemima - very enlightening... to focus on our dreams. question is... what is our dreams? dont worry, you wont look like santa claus... just santa rina.

kyh - yup... entering 30s in slightly more than a year. wow... your 20s are coming eh? well... trust me, it will end in a flash ... opppss... hehe. yup... having kids will be a wonderful feeling i am sure. cheers bro.

Jessica - why not? i am 29. hmmm...maybe i will be the one who will be asking you the question first haha!

zewt said...

someone who is constantly craving - well, i guess those cravings do give you a bit of a set-back eh? but one thing i have to say... it's amazing how you find the $$$ to go eat at all those places. those food you review... aint cheap you know... yup... let's go makan after my 49 days.

jaezrel - i think i am slowly losing my babyface already. sigh... maybe should just go completely bald haha!

Jazzi - you still got a long way to go lor... why worry?

Huei - sexy? that's why people find old dudes like richard gere and harrison ford sexy eh? thanks for the compliment.

cirnelle - being able to sing that doesnt make you younger than me.

economist - oh yeah... haha... those born in the early 80s... should be feeling what i felt quite soon. damn... come la... you think i scared ah... i used ken! hahaha!

zewt said...

Gallivanter - thanks bro. and good to hear what you're doing. keep it up... dont make my mistake.

kenny mah - well, you're really different my friend. you've seen the realy light? as you said... life begins at 28 for you... !

jean - hi there, welcome to as zewt as it gets. and yeahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! that is sooooooo true!!!!!!! hey... 10+ can be late for some of us already... truly signs of times.

purple mushroom - never thought of that really... but wouldnt it be cool if someone actually put in an entry AFTER we are 6 feet under?

Dienasty - it's human nature to only remember the black dots in our lives. all we have to do is not to let those incidents affect us. life being complex is an understatement...

TTL - no la... i still like to jump around in badminton and run around in football. maybe break a few more bones then only i will consider... golf! hahahaha!

jaezrel said...

=) nvm zewt is babyfaced looking guy aged 29

SuLee said...

no i couldnt find the recipe so i just simply, put minsee, and sugar..then it turned out terrible, then i put sweet sauce and more sugar, and some ikan bilis stock, then i dunno how it turned out already... not a great sucess...

AL said...

What you wrote really show that "lei low chor lar"...hehe

Johnson Tee said...

Dude,

Command and Conquer is back with the latest addition - Tiberium Wars!

Go buy it and bring back the nostalgia!

Muahahahaha old timer...

J

Andrew Ho said...

A Dato told me before: When he was 13 he thought 20 was old, when he turns 20 he thought 30 was old, when he reaches 30 he thought 40 should be old, when he reached 40 he thought 50 onwards is retirement date, that's gotta be really old, when he reached 60 plus today, he looked back to his 30's and he thought to himself 'eh, I was really young then you know'!

Andrew Ho said...

btw i play my weekly badminton with uncles too.....unfortunately all the uncles i play with from church all think they are young at heart. And they never let me win =)

gRaCe said...

Zewt,
you know what's old? when u can't really stay awake that often until the wee hours of the night. I still remember back in high skool when i will stay up until 2-3am almost everyday just to chat in MIRC(so old man! ppl dun even use MIRC now..lolzz), even on school nights. Now, i still can la..but max 3 days in a week, that is also i need lotsa sleep on weekends. Hahaha...and i'm only..24.(d youngest in my office)

Sometimes i do feel old..and yet, when i'm working or hanging out with older friends..i feel young.. heheh...;o)

me said...

listening to a guy in his late twenties grumbling about getting old....it's enough to remind me that i'm much older! *scrambliing to get the hell out of here*

angel said...

Psstt! How come your blog header sekejap sekejap different font wan?

You know, a lot of the people I know who are younger than Yours Truly always say they are getting 'old'... (including you, haha!) I have stopped using sentences like, "I'm getting old la... aiyoh I cannot tahan liao, must be getting old..." Getting 'old' is like... errmmm... it's like gravity. Betul tak? Haha... *nonsense crap* Forgive me... :P

On another note, I sincerely hope your mom is resting in peace in another world... (I think she is...)

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

What u r today is because of what u did yesterday, what u will be tomorrow depend on what u do TODAY!!!It is good to look back on the good old day ( in fact what u mention I did before plus a lot more like playing marble, climbing tree, catching fish, stealing neighbour fruits, listening to duran duran etc )but look to the future with high expectation.My teacher use to say aim for the star & u will end up with a moon which is at lest somethings.So cheer up!! Yes I do believed u have to do a lot of shooting to produce a zewt jr not to kill!!! If u still feel down why don't u visit my sites against for some stimulation. Have a nice day.

Seok Thong said...

I feel old!!I ask my husband always whether he will still love me when i look old..Hehe!

Back to your last post's question..Yes, i'm married to a German guy. Being a housewife is the best job that i've ever had :P

King's wife said...

I see my daughters grow up so fast before my eyes. Don't want to admit old also cannot!

Big Rice said...

i like being older though... because it is now when i look back that i realize i've learnt lots of precious lessons i wouldn't trade for anything in the world. ^_^

conan_cat said...

lol zewt... i used to play C&C and red alert and diablo and starcraft too, and I'm 20 this year. XD

yeah it's so true that when you're thinking of da good ol days, you'll find so many memories that you want to keep, and it seems so far away now.

look at what you have today, and keep it throughoutly... tomorrow, or 10 years later you'll be thinking, "hey i was a great guy then!"

bubbly soda said...

I am feeling the effect. Though I will turn 20 this year. I feel the pressure of surviving. I realise how I can no longer depend on my parents so much, I cannot say "whatever" as freely and I will have to plan.

However, we should celebrate for surviving! Not everyone make it. Which is unfortunate. I am not meaning the physical survival.

By the way, I am sure your mum is looking at you in heaven with a smile and feeling proud. God Bless Ya!

mar said...

Age...it's just numbers...yet they can make us feel *that word again* old.
Hehe...it feels ages I've had 1 in front of my age,and I'm just turning 24 next month.
But personally,I still feel like a teen.It's not the numbers that denotes ur age...it's yourself.
Being young at heart is better than young in terms of age dontcha think?Young at heart means we know more than we did when we were young in terms of age and yet we still young.I don't know what I'm trying to say dy.Hehe.
Sleepy dy and it's not even 11...
And I know your mom is in a better place.=) God bless her,and all of us too.

Gallivanter said...

Zewt, I lost my dad when I was 9, it forced me to become an adult really quickly. If you ever need a kaki to booze or chill out with, I'd be honored to help.

zewt said...

jaezrel - wah, since when you so nice to me? hahaha!!

SuLee - the recipe is found in my entry titled "a quick threesome". try again...

AL - ngo tei leong ko do low chor lar....

Johnson Tee - my notebook not fast enough to play that ler... but i still wanna play starcraft hahaha!

Andrew Ho - i remember there was a time i was telling someone i was not a kid anymore... i was only 22 then... haha...now, when i see a 22... he/she is a kid to me. ohhh... those uncles must be very powerful... must play together one of these days...

grace - wahh... like that means i am not old... cos i can still do it!

me - ohh.... did i just pop something? haha!

angel - that's the problem with this skin ler... manyak problem la. ohh ohh... then i should not use such phrase in front of you huh. anyway, i think i am still young at heart hahaha...

mistipurple said...

you think you getting old ah? if i your age now, i will re-do many things wor.
(i mean to say, go and live your brand new life!! yeah!!)

mistipurple said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mistipurple said...

see lah? just talking about re-doing things!!!! *twilight zone music again*

zewt said...

hor ny ang moh - eh, can i call you just hor ny next time? hahahaha... i dont think i was refering to such 'shooting'.

seok thong - ohhh... no wonder you're in germany... well, i have a friend who is married to someone in germany too. she stays in frankfurt. and one of my close friend is also in frankfurt.

king's wife - aiyooo... got daughter already... cant run away from the fact ler...

Big Rice - that's a very good way of looking at things.

conan_cat - hahaha... but you have never played romance of the 3 kingdom yeah? oh... i really hope i will be able to think like that when i am old :)

bubbly soda - it's still too young to feel that my friend. take the opportunity to cherish the last days of your teens and brace yourself for more some radical changes in your life... but not bad changes la... God bless ya too... all the best in your HFB thingy.

mar - if you think it has been ages since your age started with 1... what about me? :P .... soon... my age wont even start with 2!

Gallivanter - hey... thanks man. well... chill out perhaps but booze... not much into that. perhaps some camping trip will be nice.

mistipurple - hahahaha.... maybe the computer also getting old leh... time to change one perhaps...

5xmom.com said...

Damn! You made feel reeeealy-reeeeealy old, what with me digging out old pics to blog. But heh, feel young in the heart can liao!

gRaCe said...

Eh..eh...Hahaha...now u make me sound and look old. Kenot, Kenot..! I will always be younger than you..no matter what. Hahahha...

p/s: so mean of me, that was what i told my couz,Ben also..maybe i shud write the story bout him being called an ermm...nevermind!

Little Ray said...

... I feel a little old now, if not a lot. Oh wells, that's life. We all grow. I play badminton weekly too, but the uncles are all really good. Heh. Gotta find ways to give them a thrashing =P

Angel said...

ho ho tell me ab it... recently received an email fr an old schoolmate. & in it, it says, 'the last time we met was 20 yrs ago...' now that (to me) is sign of time. but then nothing compares to the confidence & experience we gained as time goes by as compared to our rooky years when we were always filled with insecurities & lack of confidence. so the passing of time is really not all that bad if u look at it that way i suppose...

zewt said...

5Xmom - yeah ler... young at heart is all that we can do ... since body no longer young right? :P

Grace - write away! hehe...

Little Ray - maybe wait for a few more years... then you can beat them in fitness... maybe...maybe...

Angel - that's a very good way of looking at things. well... aging is a process we cant run away from... oh well... and wow... 20 years ago... that's pretty looooooong ago....

april said...

i also old liao. nowadays singK also cannot tahan long. nowadays kenot hentam buffet d. eat chili's starter, main dish and dessert also feel like vommitting d. :( imagine .. i am only early 20s and i am like lao ah mah d.. sei or not u say?

got any ways to get younger ar?

zewt said...

april - wahhh... sei lor... so young alread showing signs of times. ways to get younger ar?? i also wanna know ler...

gRaCe said...

Zewt...kenot, kenot..he will definitely kill me one. summore i just wrote tht 'bachelor' post bout him. Hahaha....