Monday, 26 March 2007

Thank you

Just want to pause for a moment to offer my sincere gratitude to all who commented in the last few entries offering me much support, be it in the form of words of comfort, words of encouragement or prayers. Words cannot describe how touched I am to all of you. I am thoroughly amazed by all of you in the blogosphere. You are all great friends despite we have not met in person.

I wrote what I have written not to impress anyone, but rather to remind myself of what happened and I will read it again and again as a constant reminder to me on my mistakes and regrets. May we all minimise our mistakes and regrets in our lives.

I know I have not been replying to your comments but I have started doing so in my previous entry. Once again, thank you for all your support.

39 comments:

lakeside girl said...

I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love

I wish you love

Bored Dad said...

Hi Zewt, just take care and be strong.

I think it's best to read through what you've written, not so much of reminding of your mistakes, but rather, focus on what a great mum you have got! Read it in remembrance of her.

angel said...

Pssstt! I think u left out a "not" in your first sentence of 2nd para... ;)

Again, thank you for sharing...

enar arshad said...

hi, hope that you are better.my mom was a tyrant when i was little and i was the youngest one but she instilled a very independent streak in me and prepared me somehow for the harsh realities of life. being a mom now, just cant describe how its like to hold and hug my son each day, i bet your mom must felt the same way.

april said...

hopefully you can slowly let go the grief and treat her as the most special gift you have received in your life.

Your mom's death is over. Next thing you should focus is your gf/wife. She is the most precious gift given to you after your mother. :) All the best!

Maxforce said...

Zewt,
Be strong and take care.
Real friends need not constant contact. :)
Don't have to reply my messages either. I understand.
Sorry couldn't do much for you though. Take care.

ka..t said...

Hi zewt. I have read from other bloggers on your touching stories about your mom. I haven't found the courage to read all your recent entries. I read a bit here and a bit here, and that was enough to bring tears to my eyes. Because I was doing to my parents what you have done. The only difference is I can still do something about it as my parents are still around.

My parents are typical Asian parents and there are seldom public demonstrations of love. Like you, I have always harboured thoughts of living overseas. Now I have my chance. And the only thing holding me back is the same thing that made me want to go.. my parents. They are not young anymore and have certain medical conditions. I am afraid that something will happen to them when I go away.

After reading what you have written, I am reminded that our parents may not have shown love the way we wanted, and there have been many times when we misunderstood one another. I am trying my hardest to remove as much emotional baggage as I can, and make the best out of the time I still have left with my parents and in-laws (ironically my mother-in-law confides in me more than my own parents). I try to do as they ask because really, all their requests are actually very reasonable ones. How many of us actually go out of our way to do things willingly for our parents? I am ashamed to say that I do more for my own children.

Yours is a timely reminder. I am truly sorry for your loss. And I'd like you to know that the story of your mom has moved me to do more for my parents (I consider my in-laws my parents too). Thank you for your honesty and candour. It must not have been easy reliving all those moments where you wished you could have done differently. Take care and God bless.

jun said...

Love is patient, love is kind
It does not envy,
it does not boast,it is not proud.
It is not rude,it is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Just be cool with yourself. Don't be too harsh on yourself. Hope you are recovering from your loss.

-Princess Shin- said...

I love reading your blog. So do continue to write and I hope you do feel better!

Take care ya!

Chrislyn said...

Tears couldn't help falling again and again as I read your blog and relating to all that you've shared...

You have a magnificent and wonderful mum...and she truly did share the joy and blessings of having you in her life and she would have seen/will continue to see all that you've done / doing for her...

It's my brithday today...and let my birthday wish be that you'll be strong always to continue your mum's love and legacy...

And a reminder to all and myself, cherish your loved ones as though we are living the last day of our lives...

Once again, Alvern notti boy,
Wish you love, wish you grace, wish you courage and wish you strength...

Chrislyn said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Wingz said...

chin up brader! take care!

Huei said...

important thing is you're feeling better =)

PurpLe~MuShRooM said...

I agree with Huei. :)

zewt said...

lakeside girl - hi there again, 2nd time here perhaps? that's a lovely poem, i love it very much. thank you for your words of comfort.

bored dad - hi military dad. yeah, i get what you mean, read it in rememberence of her, not to highlight my mistakes. i will take that to heart.

angel - oppps... got that rectified. you're welcome and thanks for reading.

enar arshad - mothers have their own way of doing things. no matter how much we hate it, rest assured it's meant for the best of us. i hope you will be a mom that you children will cherish. best wishes to your children too.

april - yeah, cherish her i must. she is indeed the next best thing to me. thank you for your words of comfort, truly appreciate it.

maxforce - your words if sufficient my friend. best of luck in the market to you.

Flower said...

I cant help crying when I read your blog. I lost my mother to cancer many many years ago. The pain is gone but the longing for her is still there. Take care ....

zewt said...

ka..t - hello there, welcome to my blog. thank you for such a meaningful comment.

indeed, it is very easy for us to just apply our expectations on our parents not knowing the story from their side, they could have their own reasons for doing things, and they could have been doing their best.

well, now that you know you have the chance to make a difference, i hope you do. as you can read from my stories, things can change at the split of a second, and it will hit you so fast you wont even have any chance to think, and before you know it, everything is gone.

i am not sure how it is to handle in laws as i have not got the chance to know it yet, but i can be considered close with julia's family so i think i should be ok on that front.

my best wishes to you and may you remember always that we only have 1 chance to repay our love to our parents. dont be like me... you wouldnt wanna wait till you have a second chance.

zewt said...

jun - thank you for your words from corinthians. slowly recovering indeed. keep praying.

princess shin - wow, didnt know i have a fan. you take care too.

chrislyn - hey, sorry for not letting u know the date of the wake. i saw your sms and totally forgotten to reply it. thank you for your words of comfort, and thank you for your kind birthday wish for me. keep praying, i need plenty of it.

wingz - thanks bro, doing all that i can.

huei - yeah, i do feel better now.

purple - thank you to you too.

flower - sorry to hear about your loss. i know the emptiness will always be there. let us face the future with strength and memories that our mom left us.

Acrelaine said...

:)
as long as u're on the way to improvement in ur life, nothing can stop u.. i'm surprised at how strong u are mentally... >.<
keep it up..

SiwwyPig said...

Zewt, for the past few days, reading your posts have been an eye opener for me and also make me realised a lot of things.

Be strong alright.. :)

flaminglambo said...

There goes my mascara again...



Take care Ah Tuck. ;)

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Hallo Zewt! Happy to see that u r slowly returning to 'nomal' life. In the darkest hour of our life any help is most welcom. I suppost most of us in blogshere will give u a supporting & encouragement whenever we can. Afterall this is a process we must go through sooner or later & stand on our feet.Have a nice day.

Oh!! BTW u will have to get use to do the lundry, I have being doing that for years & I value mine washing machine like mine car.

gRaCe said...

hey Zewt, i know ur someone who's very strong..seeing u commenting on my blog when ur still grieving for your mom has alredy proven everything. take gud care of urself..hopefully i'll see u around soon, okay? ;o)

zewt said...

Acrelaine - i am not that strong really. i have been a proud person all my life... this has been a humbling experience.

siwwypig - i am glad. i shall gather as much strength as possible.

flaminglambo - thanks flaming. all the best in your masters.

hor ny ang moh - i just stupidly broke the washing machine handle. i am really useless in this housework thing. really made me think my mom is super great! she is the master of the house.

grace - like i said, not exactly very strong. i cant sleep much thus i read and write. see ya around.

Ben Gan said...

Your mom had a great son, and you had a great mom.
Some day you'll be a great man.

A Voice said...

I love reading your insights. Hope it is not to late to express my condolence for the loss of your mother.

Aput said...

aww...now you're replying comments...? lol...

a good step forward.

kat said...

No worries about visiting my blog. I left my link because I didn't want you to think I was some weirdo who simply leave comments! :)

Just do whatever you need to move on, okay?

barouqe witch said...

hey zewt:
read what you had happened!it reminds me the same thing that when i lost ma grandma too.
i was so sad and dream about her everynite and thought that she is still living,but the truth is not!

at that time;someone told me to be strong and must be future oriented and do not look back what had happened and live what u want to live.
and think that who are now around you, they need your concern too.

lastly, dont forget to smile!!!(@.@):D.

BY: spookygrace the barouqe witch!

YungJie said...

Too bad my I think my previous comment didn't make it. Sorry to hear that but keep it up!! Your recent event makes me love my mom more, even though she still yak yak yak yak like usual. :)

a malaysian in riyadh said...

Zewt
You are bouncing back allright. Thank you for being so frank and candid. I believe there is a lesson for us all here.
aMiR

may said...

hi zewt, it was the least we could do, to offer you comfort even in this vast online space of Blogland. if we could offer you anything else to help you, just give us a shout. take care.

King's wife said...

Glad to help in a small way. I should say thank you too for all that you have shared with us.
Good to know you're feeling better. :)

Sharina said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I just clicked on your blog entries today. You're in my thoughts, bro. Take care :)

zewt said...

ben gan - thanks for your words ben. looking forward to that day.

A voice - it's never too late. i am sure mom will be happy to know many ppl sending their condolences.

aput - glad to have you back in blogspot. and yes... replying la...

kat - right, i will. but i think i will take it slowly.

barouqe witch - well, i think your mom is still around... so cherish her and spend more time with her. like you said... smile more to her.

zewt said...

YungJie - it's ok. well, i can see your comment now. yeah, mom will always yak... it's for our own good... haha... i sound like my mom now.

aMIR - a malaysian in riyadh - there's no more pride... everything just in honour to my mom.

may - well, i can only say thank you. will do if i need anything.

king's wife - i should thank you all too. i am taking day one at a time.

sharina - never too late my friend. thank you for your words of comfort.

Kenny Ng said...

That's what we can do, I really sad when I heard someone loss their loves one.

py said...

sorry for your mom loss....
you've been a tough guy...
im sure your mom is very proud of you for all things you have done for her....
take k....

zewt said...

Kenny Ng - it has been a sad week... i have a few friends who lost their loved one too.

py - hi there. welcome. thank you for your kind words. i am sure my mom will be smiling for all the things i have done.