Can you take it easy?

I went to a gathering last Friday to celebrate the promotion of some of my former colleagues. Free food and free booze but strange enough, the turn out was poor. But it was still a good gathering, sort of like a reunion for all the former slaves of one of my former employers.

One person who turned up was one of my former managers. From what I heard, he has been very successful since leaving our former employer. And when I mean successful, I am talking about making millions. While everyone was quite dressed for the occasion, he was the most casual of the lot. I went over the say hello…

“Hey boss!”
“Heyyy zewt. Don’t call me boss, not your boss anymore”
“You’re still boss, a very successful one I heard. How are you doing?”
“I’ve been taking things easy. Been really tired working so hard for so long. I need to take it easy”
“That’s a luxury not many of us have. Most of us can't afford to take it easy yet”

At this point, he said something that really hit me…

“Can… as long as you don’t mind a smaller house and smaller car, you can take it easy right now”

Of course, “a smaller house and smaller car” can be a metaphor for a lot of things, the things you so desire. So the question is… can you take it easy? I am trying to.

On a totally unrelated note, I saw a very large demonstration by the employees of a certain bank last Saturday along Jalan Sultan Ismail. A quick check round the blogs revealed that such demonstrations have been happening around the country. Did the mainstream media report this? Do a quick google for “bank rampas bonus kami” and you will know which bank is that.

A conference discovery and what does the pic depict?

It will be last day of a very memorable conference tomorrow and how I wish it will last longer. I have made some really good friends and we shared many of our experiences, which was really good. I have more tales to tell but I think what I have said over the last few days will suffice for now.

One thing I must share here though. Through the conversations I shared with my overseas colleagues, I somehow made a rather intriguing discovery. It appears that almost all of our South East Asia counterparts hate dislike my boss. I will not go into the details but she certainly does not have a good reputation amongst her peers. Well… why am I not surprise?

Anyway… a story was told of a woman whose husband allowed her to take his car out for a girls’ night out. She returned home late that day. Just as her husband left for work the next day, he saw this on his car…

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What do you think happened?

Conference dinner tales

We took our overseas guests to a supposedly famous Malaysian restaurant which serves Malaysian food. Being a tourist hotspot, they even throw in some cultural dance. Of course, the charges for the performance have probably been factored into the food.

Tale 1: Not so friendly food menu

No, I am not talking about the taste of the food, though I do have something to say about the selection. But if this is a renounce Malaysian restaurant and is indeed a very famous tourist hotspot, all the cuisine should have been labelled… with English!

I spent quite some time going around explaining what is ‘nasi’, ‘daging’, ‘lembu’, ‘kambing’, ‘ayam’, ‘masak merah’, ‘rendang’ and all other words which tourists will most certainly not aware of. Were they trying to teach the tourists our national language? Or they think people visiting from Penang and Johore will pay them a visit too?

One thing though, their waiter’s English is commendable.

Tale 2: Malaysian cuisine and… international?

Based on the name of the restaurant, I have my doubt that it will serve Malaysian cuisine, though they claim they do…I was right. I don’t think I see anything that I can identify to. Fair enough, I don’t expect this restaurant to serve pork… but still!

And the best part, they also claim to have an international buffet… but the only non Malay-sian food I can find is… spaghetti. I am quite adventurous in food but I just couldn’t bring myself to try that.

Tale 3: Malaysian cultural dance

After a few traditional Malay dances, I was quite pleased to hear that a Chinese dance is up next. Yeah, pretty racist huh. Hey, they said Malaysian, obviously must have Chinese and Indian too right? As soon as the Chinese dancers came out…

“zewt, are those Chinese?”
“Hmmm… I am afraid, I don’t think so”
“Who are they?”
“Not Chinese”
“Is this a Chinese dance?”

The conversation went on with me trying to defend my race and trying not to tarnish the country’s image that much… quite a task I must say.

That was the only Chinese dance for the night. While I really don’t want to talk much about the dancers and the dance, I must comment on the costume. I think that restaurant needs to know that by putting on the almost same type of costume of the ‘earlier’ dance in red does not amount to Chinese costume.

I guess I will not blame the world if they perceive me in a certain manner.

More tales from the conference

As mentioned yesterday, I am at a global tax conference and had the chance to meet up with people from all over the world…

Tale 1: Perception is everything

I had a pretty long chat with the regional tax manager of east Africa during lunch. His name has got a peculiar spelling and it took me a while to know how to actually pronounce it. Sorry, I can't really disclose it here. He is based in Kenya and is of Kenyan origin and naturally, I asked…

“You must be a very good runner”
“Oh, not really,” he smiled.
“Sure? All the marathon winners and world record holder of long distance runners are from Kenya”
“Yes, that is true. But not all Kenyan are like that. In fact, I can't really run at all”

I found out from further conversation that only a very small tribe in Kenya are runners. The rest… well, let’s just say that they prefer to walk. So if you think that most Africans are natural long distance runners, you are wrong. But then again, perception is everything isn’t it? Just like how others perceived us as living on trees and how we are all of one religion.

Tale 2: Maximising time?

When my colleague was organising the conference, she had a tough time working with my boss. Yes, it’s “that” boss. One main problem was the timing. The hotel only allows us to use the conference rooms until 5.30pm and we have to vacate the room thereafter. But our boss was very adamant that we have to extend our time to at least 6.30pm. Reason being…

“These people fly here from all over the world, surely they want to maximise their time here!”

So my poor colleague had to negotiate with the hotel about it. Oh, did I mention that our boss wanted us to start at 8am? Anyway, the negotiation with the hotel on the closure time failed, but we can commence our conference earlier. So our boss prepared agendas based on 8am – 5.30pm, and the boss was not pleased.

1 week before the conference, the big bosses from London sent over their agendas. And their timing… 9.15am – 5.15pm.

Well, I guess they do want to maximise time. But the question is… on what?... We Asians have much to learn.

Tale 3: An Asian Culture?

Following from tale 2… the first session yesterday was separated according to regions. There were 3 main regions namely… North East Asia covering China, Hong Kong and Taiwan… South East Asia covering Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Philippines and Indonesia… the final region comprises of people from Africa, Middle East and the big bosses from Europe.

Our SEA head insisted that we start our session at 8am for a quick ‘ice breaker’. People from NEA came in at about 8.30am and the rest, at about 9am.

We the SEA people finished at 5.30pm, right before the hotel chase us out of the room. Upon exiting our room, we saw one guy from the NEA region came out for a toilet break and his remark was …

“Sigh… at least another 30 minutes more” (They had a small room which they don’t need to vacate by 5.30pm).

We the SEA people thought we did quite well, didn’t last as long as the NEA people. When we ask how are the Europeans and Africans are doing… They ended theirs at 4.30pm.

I know the thing about Asians being hardworking and all is a very well known culture. But I think if we were to look at it from a macro perspective… this Asian culture is slowly but surely… turning into an Asian curse.

Monday with 3 tales

Allow me to quickly share 3 tales with you today…

Tale No.1:

I am currently attending a global tax conference which will last for a week. Just as I got out from my car and into the lift lobby, I bumped into my boss.

“Zewt, my sister in law passed away last Saturday”
“Oh, so sorry. So how?”
“The funeral is tomorrow (Tuesday). With this conference, now I have problem”

One would have thought that the conference is the problem as my boss should be at the funeral. But as the conversation went on, I found out that the ‘problem’ was the funeral. She will not be attending the funeral tomorrow (Tuesday) as she ‘needs’ to be in the conference tomorrow. Apparently… no choice… does she?

I am beginning to seriously considering a change of job.

Tale No.2:

During lunch, I was sitting next to the regional manager of the South East Asia region, she is from Singapore.

“bla bla bla”
“ya ya bla bla”
“Hey zewt, are you going to have a traditional Chinese wedding?”
“No, will be having a church wedding”

At this time, she looked up gave me a rather perplexed look.

“Church wedding?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
“Aren’t all Malaysians supposed to be…… Muslims?”

For some very strange reason, this Singaporean thinks that all Malaysians have to be Muslims. Her reason for having such understanding…

“That’s what I read in the news”

I really wonder what kind of message are we portraying to the world at large.

Tale No.3:

Someone pointed out to me about the list of crew members of the Expedition 16.
Expedition 16 comprises of:
Commander – Peggy Whitson
Flight Engineer – Yuri Malenchenko
Flight Engineer – Leopold Eyharts
Flight Engineer – Garrett Reisman
Flight Engineer – Dan Tani
And...
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Spaceflight participant – Sheikh Muzhaphar Shukor.

So our hero is a… spaceflight participant according to NASA website. I am just glad they didn't call him space teh-tarik maker. I am so proud. Aren’t you proud?

Today, I remember

It’s Friday tomorrow and I am supposed to feel jolly but I don’t feel quite that way. Tomorrow is the 21st of the month and every 21st of the month brings about a new milestone. Time passes by so fast that it has already been 6 months since my life took a huge turn.
I just finished reading all the entries I wrote about my Mom. Some may ask why should I re-visit the painful past. But then again, the sole reason I wrote those entries down are for me to read it again and again, because I don’t want to forget. It is very easy for us to be caught up with the pace of our daily lives and forget about the things we promise ourselves. I refuse to let that happen to me.

As I look at my life over the last 6 months, I can see more and more little things in my life where Mom played such an important role, all without me knowing it. For example… after a drink of Milo for supper, if I leave the cup unwashed, it will surely be clean when I return from work the day after. Now, the cup can be there for weeks and it will still remain unwashed.

I have this habit of chucking my ties aside when I return from work and when Mom was around, it will be nicely placed back to my drawer after a few days. Now, the ties are all stacked up like a mountain and no one seems to care. And when I want to wear a particular tie, I have to find it from the tie mountain.

On a more macro side, can food now forms a major part of my diet. I used to cook but as the demand of being a modern slave intensify, it is no longer possible. My aunt acts as the chef most of the times and as she is already quite old, can food make things easier. I actually asked her not to cook; we can settle our dinner ourselves. She answered…

“Your mom looked after me for so long, I want to cook for you all”

Even after her death, Mom left a legacy that actually benefits us. Isn’t it incredible?

Another that took place in the last 6 months is when I drive around or visit places, I thought of all the places I told Mom I will bring her. One of them is a vegetarian restaurant near KLCC, one that I drive pass every week. Each time I drive pass it, the words “I will bring you there one day” rings in my head. Of course, it never happen.

Ya’ know, if you screw up in a relationship, you will always say that you will not repeat your mistakes in your next relationship. Perhaps you want to treat your next partner better. But with mothers, we all don’t have such luxury. If you screw up, there is no second chance. So, don’t screw it up.

Today, I pause and remember the brave woman who decides to hide her pain all to herself and silently prepare her departure without us knowing it, enduring all the suffering herself. Today I remember a woman who has lived a life not being able to talk to her children thinking she is not good enough. Today I remember a woman who wants to be remembered.

Today, I remember my Mother.

Choices and regrets

My boss is a workaholic, and that is an understatement. I remembered she cancelled her leave, one she took to take her mom to physiotherapy due to work commitments. I still remember her words…

“No choice”

She eventually re-scheduled the physio session.

Like I mentioned before, life is all about making choices. From the beginning of the day when you have to choose to either wake up or continue to sleep till you choose whether to stay up and read blogs or sleep… it’s all about making choices, don’t you think? The day when you really have no choice, is the day you have ‘absolute rest’.

The reason why you think you have no choice is because you have not truly felt the need to choose the other option. Maybe the other option takes more time, maybe the other option causes you to miss out on something you like, maybe the other option causes you to lose an edge on your career… whatever that option may be, you just have not felt the need of it yet. Thus… you think you have no choice.

It could also be that you’re too engrossed on achieving something, that you truly believe that there is only one way of achieving it.

Amidst all that, it is interesting to know that regrets are often link to actions performed in a ‘no-choice’ situation, don’t you think? Let me share with you a story I heard 2 weeks ago…

One of the modern slaves in one of the big 4 slavery kingdom was clocking in high amount of overtime. It was the so called peak period. Well, I am not sure whether she thought she had no choice or perhaps she thought she was doing it for her future, and the future of her child… she was pregnant.

She “was” pregnant… and now, the husband is blaming it on company for the amount of over-time she had to work. Did she have no choice? Or did she choose not to exercise her right to choose.

If you’ve read AZAIG long enough, you will know a lot of people have dropped dead from over-working before. Death spells the end of everything, but when you’re alive to feel the effect of the “once is enough” phenomena… the regrets can break you.

But then again, the word “regret” is often used when it’s too late. It’s existence itself probably means we will never learn our lesson… until it’s too late.

Do you think you have a choice not to experience regrets?