Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Once is enough

I remember when I was in university, I argued a lot with girls who carry the it-has-never-happened-before mentality. I am referring to those who like to go out at night and come back alone or like to walk in dark alleys alone and think they are invincible. Are you one of such person?

There are some who are really paranoid and will want a chauffeur driven service for a 100 metres journey, which I think is ridiculous. Of course, most such souls are not really concern about their safety but rather over-pampered.

But there are also a few brave souls who will naively take the same old dark alleys everyday just because nothing has happened to them before. Worse, some have taken such routes for months; or years and hence, they think it’s virtually impossible to land themselves in a bad scenario.

Have you ever thought before that a bad scenario only needs to happen once… and your life will be scarred forever?
A story was told of this modern slave who worked late almost every night and she stayed alone in a condo. Some of her colleagues offered to accompany her to her unit but she will always refuse saying that it is very safe and yes… she has been living there for a few years now and she will give the “I have always walked up to my house alone and nothing has happened to me before”.

One night, just as she unlocked her gate, a person appeared from nowhere and like they say… the rest is history. All those years of safe journey to her house alone, one bad incident is enough to change her life forever.

I am not asking all of you to suddenly turn paranoia and ask for companion to go everywhere, though the current state of the country kind of suggest so. But the most important thing is to exercise discernment. I am sure you know which situation needs some extra security and which doesn’t.

Always remember… it doesn’t needs to happen a few times, once is enough to change your life. Be wise… today.

62 comments:

Sunshine said...

errr... i'm GUILTY as charged... count me in as the one who always walk the same dark quiet alley everynight after work....

why? cos its the short cut and i'm lazy to walk further...

and nothing has happened before to me :P other than the occasional orang gila or rempits who love to hide there in the dark....

ethel said...

Don't say walk the alley alone, even cross the road I couldn't do it alone! LOL! Not that I love being pampered, I'm just afraid of walking alone, especially when there's no one around. Safety comes first for me. I'd rather take the long way than the short, scary one. Even when I'm driving. :P

Oh, and the "afraid-to-cross-the-road" part? That's because some idiot sent me email of a video where a guy crossed the road and was smashed by an incoming lorry! Geez. Phobia!

angel said...

These ladies should at least carry a pepper spray with them... or some personal alarm that lets out real shrill sound? Speaking of which... where's my pepper spray... hmmmm...

Oh, and if can remember, do remember to kick 'em where it hurts MOST... "there"... :D

pikey said...

bring along a pepper-spray and if possible keep friends updated about your whereabout...

i have friends who to tell me to sms them when I'm safely home after driving home from an outing with them...

sharlydia said...

I couldnt agree with u further!
I have this colleague who's really pretty & sweet, she works till 9pm EARLIEST and sometimes till 11pm plus, then she will walk to the carpark alone thinking that it has always been safe! I constantly nag on her and told her the same thing - ONCE IS ENOUGH! Pls dont let it happen to u for even once!

april said...

i always tell pple i like to walk in dark alleys and alone to go anywhere i like in the dark. :P Just got too used to it. Sad but true, i really don't hope anything will happen.

Rashikaps said...

I know what you're saying.. Sometimes we think we're smart and can take care of ourselves in any situation. Better safe than sorry is the lesson to be learned.

cirnelle said...

Good post! If one works late into the night, or in fact has a routine in going home or coming to work - which most of us have, it is best to have company (in any shape or form). It could be a friend, a neighbor or even people around you whom you're used to seeing while you go about your predictable routines. They are your 'protection' against the dangerous predators lurking, observing your routines and waiting to pounce. Or they could be your witnesses/ heroes should the God-forbid happens.

Anonymous said...

I think people in general, whether you are a guy or gal should stop walking in dark alleys or other quiet lanes/roads alone especially during late nights.

Who knows what else lurks in the night?

Also, did anyone read the Star today about a poor young, now dead girl who was raped, murdered in cold blood and stuffed in a bag?

With so many sick people out there, we just have to learn to mitigate risks by avoiding them!

may said...

I'm glad nothing really bad has happened to me so far... *touch wood*

and yup, once is all it takes. so the moral of the story is -- prevention is better than (no) cure!

narrowband said...

A timely reminder. Seeing the amount of female readers you have, you couldn't have done it more aptly. How about some reminder/advice for men now?:p

Seaqueen said...

I think it's something people get used to, I mean, walking in the alley where you grew up. I'll admit I feel safe back in my hometown but I guess, everyone will need to evolve as things around us change.

So, better be careful rather than be sorry.

me said...

ya, some ppl seem to feel very safe and secure, despite all that goes on around them. don't they read the news??

when i walk alone, i am conscious to see if anybdy is following. if there are a grp of gangster-looking guys walking towards me, i cross the street. i lock the door immediately when i enter my car. a little bordering on paranoia, don't you think? but when you just can't afford to lose, not even once, you do what you have to do. times like these i wish i was living in switzerland or someplace peaceful.

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Yes! Everyone should be afraid. Don't take anythings for granted in boleh land!As for me I am always on guard expecially when I am in KL. I always dress shabbly ( because I am poor )& wear slipper even inside KLcc & not to attract attention to myself! Of cause my life will be change forever if I get rap*ed or worse still gang rap*ed ( the idea of my backside being poked.......! )!!!Don't go out alone as u r a handsome guy....will ur gf still accepted u if u r rap*ed???
Have a nice day!

Winn said...

i m now concious whenevr i have to walk alone at nite. and i very much tried to avoid working late now.
when i was younger, i used to ' not care' and 'not afraid' coz i dowan to mah fun other people to wait for me....
i get more timid as i grow older:P

missironic said...

Well, at times I work quite late in the nite n I have to go home by myself. It does creeps me up when I have to go bck quite late as u noe many bad tings happen during the nite. However, i am left with no choice. so i guess sumtimes its not that we deliberately put ourselves into a dangerous spot, its juz we got no other choice. of coz if someone were to offer a ride to me or accompany me back i will gladly accept it..however, as there are none, i just got to pretend i am invicible. i feel these b**t**ds (dun mind my languange) shud really rot in hell or burn to death or watever most torturous punishments b done on them! bcoz of them, people especially women cant live peacefully. Bunch of wreckers!

human book said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Huei said...

*faint at the comment above*

i think u should remove that hor?

damn true..once is enuff..eventhough i only met a snatch thief and got some scratches..but damn..i get this stupid feeling that everyone's a thief whenever i walk back now..once this guy came and ask for direction..i almost freaked out eventhough there were parents picking up kids in the kindegarden right next to me >.<

once bitten..twice shy! now i carry my umbrella with me whenever i walk..at least..i HOPE..can defend myself guaa

Landed_Angel said...

Zewt, couldn't agree with you less. It's a dangerous world out there...

Angie Tan said...

yea, i know what u mean...

it just needs to happen one time and that's it.

this world is getting pretty fxxked up these days. now, i encourage my gal pals to carry some security measure and learn how to use it.

just have to stay alert these days, no matter how tired ur slave day was. (-___-)

Angie Tan said...

zewt, better remove that comment from human book. what the heck is he posting about??? takde kaitan with your post-le.

Wuching said...

would u walk me home tonight zewt? *wink wink*

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

sounds like my friend..shud send this to her..

Sasha said...

just to unsafe edi...

Jacss said...

i rather be the paranoid one..... to be safe than sorry ma !!!

yeah, in our society today, alert needs to be constantly practised...

yes, i'm working.....dun think will stop....slave life ma!!

Princess Eileen said...

Yeah... that's what my parents always say. So weekdays night means cannot go out after work and shouldn't OT. Weekends mean go out in the morning nia. Haha, that sounds ok? Will you be my bf? :P

ehon said...

yes! once is enough! never let the girls speak. cos most of the time, they never make sense. :P kakakakakaka! ok, don kill me ladies, but hey, how many times u hear them say, "aiya.. no problem one lar". for me, when it comes to things like this, girls have no say. I SAY!

KGC said...

You are such a DARLING to your fellow Uni mates. I agree with you that we should be more tactful and careful in that sense. But learning self-defence is another issue altogether.

Terra Shield said...

I know what you mean... but sometimes you just can't help it.

For instance last night I found that I was the 2nd last person to leave the workplace. It was creepy, but as I said earlier, there's no choice :(

H.C. Tan said...

as terra shield says, she's right..I was most of the time last to leave in my workplace, for the last 3months++

but u r right..once is enough to change your life

Tine said...

I'd rather be safe than sorry. Seriously. So if I happen to mace or pepper spray you, sorry luv, blame it on our nation who churned out sick people for my paranoia.

:)

Soulblade said...

once again, you have strike a note in our daily oblivious actions. it is not that we couldn't be bothered, but sometimes, bfs are not easily to come by, where you can just pout your lips and he will magically know that you need him to accompany/walk back home. fathers and brothers are not much of help as one can be in old age, i would actually preferred him to be sitting at home watching tv and as for brothers, sigh.. ever since with a gf in the picture, when are they actually home?

but then again, precautions should be taken measurably and it is always better to be safe than sorry.

SuLee said...

thats so true! It sucks to be paranoid all the time, but honestly with such high crime rate, you cant help but have to be "tai geng diu dam" all the time, and that also apply to guys.

Helen said...

It's better be safe than sorry. I'm an auntie now, but would like to think I still got to be careful.

My sister always burst my bubble... cheh, you think you're 18/22 meh?

The thing is, there're plenty of sickos out there who take more than your money. When they are 'high', they kill without remorse.

rinnah said...

That is why I am very careful... sometimes a bit paranoid the way I constantly look around.

Great timing for a wake-up call, zewt.

I'm sure you read this morning about that poor little girl.

Jonny said...

My gf's sister, always work late as an auditor. Once she noticed a motorcyclist tailing her, but then he disappeared.

So, she reached home, and about to get out of the car. Just then she double check, and saw the same motorcycle, with the owner hiding in the drain.

She cried and honked like crazy, so everyone came out thinking, "what's wrong?"

Nothing happened that day, but she never gets out of her car alone anymore. She'll ask someone from inside the house to come get her from the gate.

j or ji said...

bro..
So true.
Once is enuff to change yr life and maybe to end yr life.

Kadang-kadang, jenayah berlaku kerana kita memberi mereka peluang untuk melakukannya. Lorong terang depan orang ramai pun kene ragut,
ini pulak di lorong gelap dan sunyi.

Safety First!!

Doreen said...

I'm never the brave kind nor the paranoid kind (I think!) hehehe. It's better to be paranoid than brave in this case lah. This is no longer a safe world no more even if it looks safe!

tingtitlei said...

im a guy but u never know.. .

suddenly got SURPRISE BUTTSEXX!!

Manal said...

No point trying to act like nothing would happen but always stay alert and (if ur religious) pray to God that we be protected from any harm...Esp after that 7/7 london bombing incident, my level of alertness has never been less than 7 on a 1-10 scale from nothing (1) to extreme alert (10). U sit in the car and not locking up ur cardoors after the engine is ignited already poses some danger possibilities.

I'd take ur advice anytime, zewt if u were to warn me of a certain unsafe zone. Wotsa point of arguing if its to do with our own life safety?

alan zed said...

yeah, safety first. wear a condom. :)

changeiam said...

What a great post. Serves as a reminder to everyone one not just the ladies. A lot of desperate people out there and taking chances by walking in a dark alley just to save 5 minutes is just now worth it. People sometime look at me funny when I offer to walk my friend to the car even at 8pm at night but I rather know that she made it safe to the car.

This happened to a friend of mine. Went to have a drink at Coffeebean Subang Parade and left just before 12 am and walked to the car which was parked at the side of the road which was not even 20-30m away and as she was just about to open the door a motorcycle came and robbed her of her belongings and not to say that it's a dark alley its right by the main road. Lucky she got away unhurt but the hassle and trouble and not to mention paranoia you have to live with is just not worth it.

Be safe no matter where you are.

aSstHa said...

hmmmm... sound advice from a sound mind... something all of us know but some choose to ignore...

i for one am super paranoid... i always walk super fast and scan the area left, right, front and back...

i always make sure my friends sms me when they've reached home and i too will sms them once i'm home (driving alone late at night is my norm)

even now in the ofis i'll let them know that i'm leaving (specially when it's super late) and sms them once i'm home. at least they know i'm home safe n sound.

i in fact bumped my car on sun nite (tired from juggling work n my ex's wedding). i knew my tyre was flat but i forced myself to drive with the flat all the way home instead of stopping to change it... in the end my rim sume koyak... but money can b replaced... my safety is more important (wearing dinner dress summore, mana tak takut???)

jaezrel said...

ark ....A r K

Sunflower said...

I'm always very careful about personal safety because you can't tell when anything will happen. One of my housemates was robbed at knifepoint one night outside our gate about 3 years ago and I've been the victim of snatch theft before too. So I try not to take chances. But if it cannot be helped then I pray very hard!

conan_cat said...

hmm true... i'm guilty of being one of the "it had never happened before" thingy haha.. paiseh. and thanks for the advice, i guess i'll take note now. :) even though the road back to my home is not exactly dark and so, but it's quite a long walk (15mins) through a long highway, and sometimes my condo walkways are kinda quiet too haha

zewt said...

sunshine - dont let the lack of activities blind you...

ethel - hahaha... that is phobia la... over do it already :)

angel - i personally think pepper spray is useless, becos 9 out of 10 girls will not use it when the situation arises. i dont think they can kick too.

pikey - wah... i tot only girls do that... the sms thing i mean.

sharlydia - yeah, please make your friend read this entry. hahaha... self promoting.

april - you will always think it's alright until something happens, by which, it can be too late. be wise... today.

day-dreamer said...

I get what you mean.

I dare not walk along in those places deemed "unsafe". I try my hardest to take good care of my own safety when I am out in KL for my studies as my parents won't be there to protect me.

And yes, I don't like the mentality of some of my friends that goes, "aiyar... won't happen anything one lar...".

zewt said...

rashikaps - the problem is... most have not been sorry yet.

cirnelle - well thank you. actually, routines are worst! cos the predators can predict all your actions, thus know when is the best time to strike.

anon @ 8.06am - yeah i read. i think ppl are getting more and more inhuman. lack of values... strange that we have a compulsory morale values subject in this country.

may - then make sure we all start preventing today.

narrowband - men... haha... well, let me think about it.

seaqueen - the society is changing at such a rate that... it's impossible to be safe anymore, even your hometown.

zewt said...

me - i think when a group is already following you... it's often too late already, dont u think?

hor ny - hahaha... if a bunch of girls raped you... i think your life will certainly change forever... :)

winn - not timid... just wiser. and know that you're not invincible.

missironic - i dont believe in 'no choice'... i always believe there is a choice. life is all about choices, it's whether we wanna take it or not. dont let ir ruin your life... once is enough.

human book - thanks for the info but i think i have to delete your comment.

Huei - well... at least that 'once' didnt land you in deeper shit... some are not that fortunate... some dont get second chance to hold an umbrella.

landed angel - yeah man... and it's getting worse!

zewt said...

angie tan - hahaha... we should all put a stop to slaving life to begin with. will solve a lot of trouble. yeah, removed that comment... dont wanna land myself in trouble.

wuching - can... haha... but no holding hands ok?

constant craver joe - yes... a lot of girls are like this.

sasha - too unsafe indeed.

jacss - aiyooo... if possible, get out of it lor.

princess eileen - wahhh... so the solution is stay out until morning la? hahah... me? taken already lor.

zewt said...

ehon - yup... there are situation where a man gotta do what a man gotta do... those situation... we say!

KGC - not many have a chance to learn la. not to mention plenty are lazy.

Terra Shield - no my friend... there's always a choice... just whether you want to take it or not.

HC Tan - yeah... be wise... today. dont let the lack of bad things blind you.

Tine - me? if it's me, i just wanna say 'hi' la.

soulblade - i am sure there are friends (male) who are willing without any hidden agenda. who knows... it can be a begining to something beautiful! hehe...

SuLee - guys? hehehe... really... hmmmm....

zewt said...

Helen - even if you're not 18/22... there will be some sickos there who will do the unimaginable. did you read about a grandmother who got raped?

rinnah - yeah... what a co-incident!

Jonny - very wise of her. not everyone gets a second chance. luckily for her... it was not once... just half.

j or ji - sungguh benar... kita mesti sedar bahawa keadaan sekarang semakin bahaya. harap semua akan lebih pri-hatin.

Doreen - very wise of you... i am glad.

tingtitlei - hahahaha... talk so much... really happen then u know.

Manal - precisely, we should be aware that things are no longer the way it used to be. not to say it was safe back then... just not so dangerous. ppl are getting more and more daring here.

zewt said...

alan zed - haha... that's for men.

changeiam - i guess that's on the vigilant side. yeah, when we are in places we thought it's safe... we let our guards down. i think i need to pick up on that too.

aSstHa - dinner dress... of cos... even if you call for help... you cant trust those fellas. very wise move indeed. money can be replaced. you're a role model la! hehe...

jaezrel - and?

sunflower - yeah, as long as we do our part...we know that we have done our best... that's sufficient.

conan-cat - well... like i said... once is enough to make you think that the 15 minutes is worth all your life.

day dreamer - yeah... those are fools... and when things actually happen... they will regret it forever, if they live to tell their tale.

Michael Song said...

fark the perverts... i think they should be hang to death...

missironic said...

Choices..yea, there are choices, i guess..quit the job is a choice...hire a bodyguard is also a choice..hmm..learn some self defense skills is also a choice..yea, in a way there are choices...however, the choices come with sacrifices, rite...but i do agree with you...once is definitely enough..is alwiz in my mind, keeping on reminding me. neway, im actually trying to minimise the danger i might b facing..so, im definitely not so naive to the extend to put myself in danger all the time...dun want to ruin my future for some idiots who simply threw their future away..

zewt said...

michael song - hang them? too lenient lor.

missironic - it's good that ppl are taking precautionary steps. we certainly owe that to ourselves. teach your friends that too.

Soulblade said...

"...it can be a begining to something beautiful!..." << haha~! i wished. in my dreams maybe. but not reality. im sorry zewt, but i just lost all my hopes.. there might be good guys left out there but, they are either taken or gays. nothing much left.

Zaty said...

heya zewt, first off, regarding the font size thing o my blog, im sorry but if i increase the font size, the layout sort of looks messed up. i guess the viewing differs with diff screen resolutions? i tried finding scripts to make it easier for visitors to change font size but i couldnt find a decent one. so for the time being, i hope 'CTRL +' helps to read? ;T sorry and thanks for informing about the problem =)

ANYhoo! i find it highly amusing that people (men not excluded) would walk alone in a dark place.. whether it's a shortcut or whatever, still doesnt account for the danger you're risking your life and/or future in. of course, if ppl are still willing to do it, they should at least have some sort of defence like a pepper spray or whistle, or better yet, martial arts skills. but always take into account anything can happen (something, i guess, pessimists have an advantage over? ;P).

ppl who may attack dont necessarily come singly, sometimes they come in groups, which simply makes it hard to defend yourself if you're alone, especially if you're a girl because bad guys can do more than just hit and rob you.

thanks zewt for reminding us about this. ppl tend to take for granted things just because they've never happened to them. =T

zewt said...

soulblade - hahaha... dont be so passive... i still have some very nice friends who are single. and the very reason they are single... cos they are nice.

Zaty - yeah, blind faith in believing that one will be safe can spell one's biggest downfall... some never live to tell the tale. those who did... regret it forever.

SuLee said...

i meant being mug and the possibly danger of being killed too!

geeez zewt what are you thinking!

zewt said...

sulee - hahaha... ok ok... fair enough.