Anyway, have you even encountered some people that you just want to slap their sorry face back to reality? Have you ever met some moronic souls that you’re not sure whether you should be angry with them or laugh at their moronic act? I have encountered quite a few in my life. Quite a number actually but I think I am going to talk about 3 today…
Presenting moron number 1: The get-out-of-the-way driver
It happened more than 2 years ago when I was driving to my badminton game. I was heading towards Hartamas on the fast lane in front of the palace when a car (if I remember correctly, it’s a
proton iswara) tailing me rather closely. It’s quite obvious he (yes, it’s a he) was trying to get me to move out of the way, to which I didn’t comply. He was probably getting increasingly irritated cause he kept flashing his lights and honking me, urging me to move aside or go faster.Well, I was actually going quite slow, going at about 70km/h on the fast lane. However, I did not give way, I stayed in the fast lane and continue going at 70km/h. In the end, frustration overtook my nemesis and he made a quick check to the left and as he sped past me, I think he showed me his middle finger, I couldn’t be bothered. BUT! As soon as he overtook me, he slammed on his brake so hard, the halt almost caused his car to go out of control. You know why?
Cause there were 2 POLICE PATROL CARS right in front of me going at 70km/h. WHAT A MORON! That was the reason why I couldn’t go any faster! It’s also amazing how the hell he failed to see them from behind. What a moron!
Moron number 2: The over-zealous patriot
This too happened about 2 years ago, around the month of August. I was late at work (as usual) and as I was entering the car park, there was an unusual traffic jam… in the car park! This is rather strange cause during such time, traffic is usually clear in this particular cark park. The pause seems to go on longer than expected. Then I noticed the driver in front of me got out of his car and started laughing. Not wanting to miss anything, I did that too, I mean, I got down from the car before I laugh la.
To my amusement, I got myself moron number 2. Credit to him, he was rather “patriotic” There was this Pajero with something like 50 miniature Malaysian flags glued on top of its body, including the roof of the car. There were so many, with the flags all nicely glued upwards. Now, with the Pajero being quite a “tall” car, all these flags got stuck between the pipes that were running below the ceiling. This moron had to get out of his car and removed all his nicely glued flags 1 by 1!
If you wanna be a patriot, show it in a more meaningful way! Not by having miniature flags all over your vehicle and ended up removing them cause you didn’t assess your destination before hand. Plus, that act caused me to be more than an hour late! Oh well, not that I care anyway. What a moron! And I mean him…
Moron number 3: The alcohol-seeker in Starbucks
This too happened about 2 years ago, during those times when I had to go back to office for work on a Saturday. Having partied the night before, I wandered to Starbucks Coffee outside my office to get myself the much needed caffeine. I was in the queue, and standing before me was this Chinese Type A. He was looking up at the menu board on top, as all Starbucks have that, pondering on what to order. I think he couldn’t decide on what to order and asked the girl at the counter…
”Do you have anything alcoholic?”(in a very very very heavy Aussie accent – I wish I can say it out for you to hear)What the f**k! Has this guy ever been to Starbucks before? Which part of Starbucks “COFFEE” he doesn’t understand??? Alright, maybe, just maybe that was his maiden voyage to a Starbucks. Or maybe his mama locked him up in a room somewhere to protect him for Starbucks, cause perhaps Starbucks around his area sell alcohol.
He went through almost all the drinks in the menu with the girl, asking which one is nice and so on. I am beginning to think there is no Starbucks in Aussie. After settling for a drink (which took a while), he took out his wallet and get ready to pay. And you know what???? He slowly took out this heavily stamped loyalty card and asked for a stamp from the girl. What the f**k! Obviously this is NOT his first time at Starbucks. Alcoholic drinks?
I would have forgiven him if the girl at the counter was a babe. But, it’s total opposite (no disrespect) she was not quite a babe and I can’t help but to brand this lost soul moron number 3. What a moron!
Have you ever encountered such people before? Tell me your stories… and next time, if you ever see such people again… say it out loud…WHAT A MORON!
53 comments:
know why i asked you what's ur car plat last monday? one moron just drove out from a smaller lane overtaking me without even signalling to me it's rude and i hate ppl driving like a c*** im not saying you are one....but i cant help it he looks exactly like you from the back of my car view....muahahahhaha
how moron-ic can a person be??? u knew my i-am-blind-so-i-wear-sunglass experience last week what......freaking pissed.....7 sth wear sunglass....kissed the arse of my car and dare not say sorry even.....f****** pissed until now each f****** time i think abt it .........f-her!!!!
ops!!!
moronssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
My moronic story. Cirnelle was about 7 years old and had just seen the gardener throw away a cigarette stub after he had his fix. Cirnelle picked it up and took a whiff. Coughed her lungs out till her eyes and nose watered.
haha..i more or less seen all ur 3 morons that you described d..haha situation 1..i normally try to outrun that bugger flashing..unless hes driving a car more powerful then me..
situation 2..haha nvr see stuck la..but damn stupid..waste all the money..
situation 3..they take forever behind the stupid burger king counter..then come back during my turn ordering n ask for another coke..screw the fucker..then he say..they forgot my order..so wat?..queue up la ccb!!!!
geram la..a few more days till exam..argh!!
We come face to face with morons almost everyday in our lives. I guess they're there to keep the world in check. LOL.
well there was once when i lined up for bread story one day. these two aunties wanted to buy bread, and they bought 3 loafs of bread and asked the girl to split the 3 loafs to 2. when the girl was taking the bread out to put into another bag the aunties complained that she's spoiling her bread this auntie want a bigger piece that auntie want smaller don't use this bag use the cake box instead blah blah.
i stood there for a freaking 15 mins just waiting for these 2 to settle down. kanasai.
LOL at the moronic tales above... the 2nd one is really funny! *imagines the stuck flags* ROTFL!
Was driving up Cameron Highlands on Labour Day and encountered this moronic bus driver (plate # AFF 73, I think!) who was frus at the traffic jam so he overtook the cars on the oncoming traffic lane. (Very dangerous, do not try this in traffic! Wakakaka!) 15 mins later as our car inched past in traffic, guess what? Moronic bus driver's vehicle had broken down on the opposite side of the road, belching black smoke.
Needless to say, that was the end of moronic bus driver for the rest of the trip!
What if I'm the moronic one? =). Remember sometimes it's quicker and easier to judge others than ourselves...
Ha!Ha! Nice story/encounter of the moronic kind.
Enjoyed your moronic stories. Here's mine:
One little, two little, three little morons....
Moron #1: Stupid idiot in his Porsche Carrera coming up from the back of us - on German autobahn. Cilaka! husband already doing 180km/h. How much faster that idiot want to go or make us go? Flashing his bloody lights so much, I thought thunder going to follow. Finally he got fed up, move to the side and overtook showing his, probably overused, famous finger revving up to about 200km/h. Just like your "overtaker", he slammed his brakes. Luckily not that close to us. Why? Traffic jam leading up to border of Switzerland. hehehe Served him right. Speed demon moron!
Moron #2: KTM train. 'Teknikal problem'. Trains delayed. Crowd built up. One train come, everyone rush. Already full. Train goes to next stop. Door open, people already standing near the door. Moron from outside shouts "masuk lagi, masuk lagi". Masuk apa? I was the last person standing right at the back of train car. If people masuk some more, I'll be crushed. Guess what? That moron managed to slip himself in between two SYTs near the door. Habis lah, those two girls kena raba everytime the train jerk. Horny moron!
Moron #3: At a bank in KL (near Masjid India). I was trying to find the start and end of the queue near the customer service desk. No queue. Damn! so everyone crowd around. I waited and waited and waited. Finally got the girl's attention. Went up to the counter, she walked away. What?? Why?? She had to bring some document to the officer at the back. Oi! if place busy, employ second person to man the desk lah. Why? Want to keep profits for upper management ah? The security guard asked me what I needed. I asked and then he said "oh tak tahu. Tunggu ye." Security guard take care of customer service when girl have to go behind, if robbers come in, who going to protect the place? Customers??? Morons (the bank)
Me, I also can be moron sometimes but we will not go there today. Sorry Zewt, took up too much space.
Hahah, interesting encounters. I especially love the 1st story.
this post is hilarious. one of the best i've read so far.
Just so you know, you can find plenty of these morons in china and I ain't racists because I too am chinese.
Lot's of morons out there.
3 people in the library the other day talking away in a very loud voice. Wanted to tell them to be quiet but no one else did. They seemed strange and may have started shouting abuse.
Just have to stay cool sometimes, learn to ignore!
damned! im an idiot for not taking a single leave till now...whuuaaaa!
Wow this has got to be the most 'MORONIC' story i have ever heard! What is wrong with that Aussie slang-ed dude. And that diver tailgating, darn moron. Rushing to get himself a speed ticket! Hahaha!! Nice one! Love the moron stories!
I saw one at the autobahn which i don't know whether she is a moron or not..
This girl was driving in front of us at the fast lane. In her(a young lady) car, there were 3 old people. She's driving a really small car. I saw her giving signal to turn to the "take over" lane.
We took the "take over" lane first and then she was speeding behind us..Suddenly from the take over lane, she turned to the most right lane, wanted to take the exit to another city, guess what happened? Whole car terbalik and rolled a few times..I look at the back mirror all the time coz i wonder how a person can drive like this with 3 old people..
I mean, why can't a person drive carefully when that person is having passengers in the car? If you missed the exit, there's always another one.
I really wonder what happened to them..
lots of things happened 2 years ago!! hehe
OMG the 3rd moron..real brainless!! wtf!!
actually mebbe he has weird taste for girls..maybe that was a babe to him..hmmmm..er..u sure he wasn't looking at u?? =P
jaezrel - haha, still moaning about your experience the other day. maybe you 'hak jai' la... hahahaha!!
cirnelle - that is absolutely... well... not moronic la... just total oblivious.
joe the constant craver - i wanted to step on the accelerator too, but there were 2 patrol cars in front of me mate. as for number 3... i think you're talking about generic morons... hmmm... perhaps i should blog about it eh?
gallivanter - haha... so morons keep the world going? hmmm... perhaps only this country...
conan_cat - hahaha.... the story of 2 kiasu aunties. why cant they just buy 2 each? sigh... what a moron!
rinnah - wooooaaahhh... u even took down the plate number! you must really hate that moron! haha! were you trying to look for 4D? haha... well, he was indeed... a moron. what a moron!
Jazzi - well, are you? i trust that you're not. but i know what you mean, and it's a very good point. but for the sake of a good laugh... :) ....
hor ny - thanks...
J.T. - hmmm... i never heard there's traffic jam on the autobahn. anyway, for a car to go 200km/h and then slammed on the brakes... i think the car would have taken some toll eh? what a moron indeed! As for the moron stucked between 2 SYTs, well, maybe he is not moron after all, the reason why he wanted to squeeze in was perhaps he wanna be 'in between'? quite smart to me.... as for number 3... that is typical malaysian standard ler. morons would be everywhere under such situation... :) and again, dont worry about space... i dont think blogger charges me anything.
cely - hey! welcome to As Zewt As It Gets. Haha... i thought the 3 was a classic one.
Sam - oh yeah, i know, i have been there for 4 months before. so i sorta know. but hey... those morons are really developing their country... soon, they will overtake us economically.
the last picture is classic... the last of the "morans"! LOL! the world is a funnier place to be in, with a few good ones... ;)
Tunku Halim - Hi Tunku, pleasure to have you here. i think what you're refering aren't morons... they are more like... IDIOTS! dont ya think?
szu - what a mor... ok... nevermind... :)
Nastasshea@nesh - yeah... that aussie slang dude was really classic... maybe he was really trying to pick up the girl at the counter... but he sure made the wrong move...
Seok Thong - well... they dont call it the autobahn for nothing... everything must be done at top speed. i hope they are ok. what a sad ending to a moronic act.
Huei - damn! never thought of that... yeah, maybe he was trying to delay order so that he can look at me!! OH SHIT !!!! i am a moron!
may - have to agree with you... like what gallivanter said... morons keep the world going... perhaps it's true after all. ;)
MORONS! lol! I laugh at them yet i sympathize them. They need brain transplant. somethings are just so damn obvious and they have to make it more obvious with their nonsense. Don't we feel thankful for good sense?
Something tells me that you are feeling nostalgic - all your significant moronic recollections goes back 2 years ago! Another story behind this story?? :-)
I've encountered a lot of morons but I think forgave them because I couldn't remember any specific cases.
Zewt, when moron#1 overtook, we gauged he was doing 200km/h because we were doing 180km/h. But ahead we could already see some kind of traffic jam. That guy probably did not notice until he overtook us. By the time Mr Porsche got up there, we could see his brake lights constantly on - assume again he was braking hard. Slam was the wrong word to use. sorry. That would have gotten him tumbling all over the place. Believe or not, autobahns do have traffic jams but not all the time. Our luck la that day. I've been in a few.
You are right, moron #2 was probably a smart one.
I wish I have a loudspeaker or LCD display board on my car so that I can tell the other car "YOU MORON!! USE YOUR SIGNAL LIGHTS / THIS IS A ONE WAY STREET / PLEASE QUEUE UP LIKE THE REST OF US / STOP YOUR DAMN LIGHT FLASHING / DON'T USE YOUR HAZARD LIGHTS IN HEAVY RAIN / SWITCH ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS DURING RAIN!!!!"
Thank you.
Zewt,
Moron #3, u never knew which starbuck in oz he frequented to. They prolly did serve some liqour just to get more customers at some lonely corner. Those aussies are known to down beers like a fish. Variety makes them happy bunnies.
I met one ULTRA-moron in the picadilly line tube on my way home in london about 4 years ago. It just so happened that the tube was jampacked with commuters and so there were many people standing close to each other. In that situation i wud place my backpack on the floor in between my legs. At one point, this moron stepped on one of my bag's strap. It's gonna be a few more stations left to my stop. So I looked at him, asked him to politely remove his leg. Being a complete moron, he totally ignored my request and turned his face away. I asked him again for the 2nd time and he didnt seem to even want to move a muscle. The 3rd time I bent over and smacked his calf hard while looking up to him with a dragon-menacing glare: " I said, get your leg off my bag strap! I am getting off very soon!". That definitely took him by surprise. He literally jumped to the left while I was still staring at him.
The moral of the story: A pretty, polite-looking tudung clad girl may turn into a ferocious virago in a critical situation.
So nice! Got 2 extra days for holidays! Lucky you! Haha.. enjoy it! =)
The first one is really a moron. BUT.. I hate it when people drive slow on a fast lane. You're in a fast lane for goodness sake! Go to the slow lane if you wanna drive slow! But 70km/h is ok. Talking about those that drive 40 to 50km/h! ARGH!!!
sometimes no idea wat these ppl are thinking, but then again I have my own share of moronic stories. anyway here's one....
i once encountered a tough looking guy with a cut on his forehead that needed 2 stiches under local anaesthetic. He made a HUGE fuss and demanded to be put to sleep for this because he is afraid of the pain. trying to be understanding, i explained nicely that the initial injection will only be a sharp sting blaa blaa blaa. He started swearing and accusing me of trying to inflict more pain instead of helping him. What the.....!! and this is a guy with a heavily tattoed body with visible injection needle marks on his hands...talk about pain threshold.
In the end, he decided to self discharged, so I gave him a script of antibiotics to prevent wound infection which he threw on the floor because he "could not afford it". I was thinking, he can't afford a $10 antibiotics but can afford to smoke (err noticed a few packs of ciggies in his backpack)...
i still don't get it until today...
What a moran!
ops i mean moron.
hahaha there was once my dad was driving around 90 at the seremban highway on the fast lane. this indian woman kept trying to cut us from the left lane but her car not enough power.. and my dad didnt want to let her potong also. so when she managed to potong, she winded down the window and spat at us. she was aiming for front... and her car was moving at an approximate speed of 90+. imagine the speed of her own saliva shooting back at her face
LOL!!! The second one had me in stitches! Ahhhh, truly worthy of a Kodak moment.
zewt is on holsssssssssssssssssssss
ttl! - HAHAHAHAH! That story's crazy man! I think i would have laughed till I cried if I ever witnessed such a thing.
LOL, i really like the second story, ahahaha, that is soooooooo memalukan and stoopid.. :P
I had an experience, I dont know if its me the moron or what tho, LOL...
I was in Starbucks One U, they had 2 lanes there to queue and purchase. There was this 2 ladies who were friends in front of me and they were kinda taking up the 2 lanes (tho they were on 1 only), so i didnt really bother. Next to me was a Jap guy, well he was there first before me.
So, after the ladies went off, I stayed in my lane, while the Jap was in the middle of the lane. well, the cashier served me first instead of him. After taking my orders, I got some scolding from th Jap guy.. "it would be pleasant if you could follow your turn" "there's two lane, mister" "still it would be appropriate if you could ask me to have my go first"
WTF, ya know, I dont really care if he was a foreigner or not. He is the stoopid one standing in the middle of the lane when there's 2. And the ladies were occupying only a lane, where he could have stand in his proper lane and get served next. 2 lanes means 2 cashier attending, BODOH~!!
I thought foreign Starbucks' do have drinks with added liquor.
I think everywhere also we can find moron somewhere somehow hehehe
bubbly soda - yup... we should be thankful. but i wouldnt deny that at some point in our lives... we do make some moronic mistakes one way or another, no?
Anak Merdeka - that's very observant of you... perhaps you're right...
hc foo - those 3 are just very specific ones. we do encounter some irritating souls on a regular basis... i call them generic morons... hehe
J.T. - well, i guess those ppl who hit the autobahn just for the thrill of speeding will have to forget about their plans that day. by the way, what car was Mitch driving? 180 km/h?
kat - hahaha... those are what i called generic morons... those that we encounter on a daily basis... think i should blog about them too...
Manal - ahhh.... a woman's fury... never mess with one, whether she is a polite-looking tudung clad or otherwise. hehe... right? perhaps you should have just pull your strap hard, maybe he will fall over and make a fool out of himself.
princess shin - i wanted to go faster la... but there were 2 patrol cars blockig my way... u dont expect me to flash the patrol cars and honk them... do u?
daisyboo - hi there, welcome to my blog. reckon you're a doc and is from the states or aussie or something? anyway, i think he is just non-sensical, a true moron indeed. first, the pain thingy and then he couldnt afford to pay for medication but can get himself some cigs.
speaking of which, here in malaysia, a lot of ppl who cry poor also smoke their lives away. to which, i too have no explanation. once again, thanks for dropping by.
TTL - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... that would have qualified for morAn of the year!!!! did you all purposely drive next to her car and laugh at her silly? i would have done so.
flaminglambo - hahaha... imagine having to remove all of them in front of all the other drivers. too bad the environment was rather dark and i couldnt snap a photo then. yeah, would have been a kodak moment. as for TTL's story... i was laughing here myself when i read it. stupid moron!
jaezrel - yes, and you're not. kaka!
Calvin's wife - wah, ini macam personal bitterness... hahaha... did you turn on your scary evil evie look and stare at him? kakakaka.... i am surprise a jap can converse in such good english, most of them are pretty off when it comes to english. i think he was trying to show authority or something.
Aput - i have been to starbucks london... not that i am aware of.
babyfiona - Hi there, welcome to As Zewt As It Gets. yup... morons everywhere. someone mentioned that they kinda keep the world going... made us thinking ppl feel much better eh? thanks for dropping by, hope to see ya around.
Zewt, if i yanked it meself, it wud tear the strap apart laa...u see, that stodgy moron was a medium bulky fella of a few inches taller than me wearing a bulky winter boots. I tried not to cause a scene but it's enuf to make him fullly aware in the middle of the crowded carriage. Good thing i was already next to the exit door.
He prolly have chosen the wrong person to mess with that day......
hhmmm...dont know if this is classified under moron or just plain stupity...maybe it's just living in ignorant bliss - i dunno but what abt those ppl who love picnicking at waterfalls with their whole kampung, bringing along with them bowls n plates of curry & nasi lemak & mee goreng then after all the fun and fiasco, brush their teeth WITH toothpaste and WASH their dishes WITH soap, up stream while they can clearly see other ppl having fun in the water down stream....?
Zewt, Mitch was driving a Chrysler Crossfire (2004).
being a moron is a way to live now.. it's the in thing to be, especially in Malaysia. We are having morons on parliment debating for us, passing the laws, morons running the country, manning the counters, on the road, there are everywhere. Our national anthem should be 'I will follow you'. What you expect when people can be bought over KFC :D bla bla bla.. we are blessed having these people so that we the so called 'smart' one can have a good laugh at say it out loud 'WHAT A MORON!' haha! :P another cultural value to market for Malaysia I guess, other than obsession with food. hurray!
hmm, referring to you moron case#1, it reminds me of how much I geram with the car owner who decorate/sun-shade the car (be it stuff the car with all the soft toys or shade it with tint) and blocking the whole front view. I need that view to potong them... :D
manal - haha... i am sure any day is a bad day to mess with you... aint it? :P
yvy - those are bloody inconsiderate bastards and bitches with brainless attitude and never thought of anyone but themselves..!!!! those downstream... those are morons...
J.T. - dunno what it is but i am sure it's very fast.
bongkersz - yo dude... i may have to deleter you comment la like that. hahaha... you so direct.
mich - just speed and potong them la... no need to look wan... hahahaha... those are generic morons.
aiyo, tak payah main delete delete lah bro :P i never delete yours, even your latest comment haha! joking la dude. have a nice weekend. MU against MC :D
Zewt, for picture of Crossfire, go to:
http://www.automotive.com/2004/09/
chrysler/crossfire/index.html
:)
wah, just speed and potong? What happen if got police car in front? Ohhh, dont tell me you happen to have a lot of stuffs in ur car and blocking the view... hahaha.
huhu.. u used 'wtf' as well... *high five*
ok, back to pharmaceutical care...
or else i'll be a 'moran'...
well, the numbers of morons in my case could have been reduce if not those inconsiderate bla bla bla right??? :P
yeah yeah! we do la. but some morons are just beyond ordinary... they are SUPER MORONS! Damn.. now i sound like a moron myself. ;)
bongkersz - alright bro, since you bravely commented... i shall not delete. what? my commenta at your blog is true ma... damn gay weh... hahahahaha!!! MU to win the league by this week!
J.T. - okay... i am depressed... i will never be able to buy such a car.... sigh... if i happen to drop by germany... please take me to the autobahn ok?
mich - hahahaha.... shhhh... dont la, it's a secret u know... :P
Acrelaine - make sure you get the right drugs for the right thing... else, you will really be a moran.
yvy - ah, have to agree. but then again, such scene is normal at picnic areas, particularly waterfall. just have to be prepared for it.
bubbly soda - SUPER MORONS??? hahahaha.... so far, moron number 3 qualifies for that... i wonder if you have one that will supersede him.
Those are truely morons.. starbucks coffee shops don't offer alcoholics but they do manufacture it.. try searching "Starbucks Coffee Liqueur".. he might be just looking for one of those then? but yet he was not considerate for the people behind him though..
Morons... morons.. here is my list of morons...
Moron 1: I asked the gal hows her bf? simple aight??
she replied... My bf is not an Indian...( which part of the q she didnt understand? )
Moron2: An ultimate Moron who thinks her daughter broke up with
bf cause she said so.. and thinks her teenage daughter doesnt have a hp..
Moron3: A moron who thought the small hole in his house was habitat by rats... no you moron.. they are called mice...
Moron4: A moron who thought ikan bilis and udang is vegetarian.. mind you she's a Malaysian...
Zhi Yong - no shit... there's such a thing? well... to me, he was really a moron. because of the way he said it and his body language.
MissSHopaHolic - yo! where have you been ler. Moron 1: ... hahahaha... your friend is so stupid la... Moron 2: i thought parents are quite smart nowadays? Morons 3: ? tak faham moron 4: this one is really one helluva moron!!!!!
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