Thursday, 18 February 2010

Where Kilkenny became kill Kenny

True story…

Terence was having lunch with his colleagues when he got a call on his mobile. A quick glance and it showed that it was from an unfamiliar number.

“Hello” he answered.
“Siapa ni?” (Who’s this?)
“Kamu yang panggil saya. Kamu siapa?”
(You are the one who called me. Who’re you?)
“Ini serius. Saya tengah buat siasatan. Apa nama kamu?”
(This is serious. I am doing an investigation. What’s your name?)
“Siasatan? Siasat apa?” Terence thought it might be a gotcha call.
(Investigation? Investigate what?)

There was a slight pause…

“Ini Inspektor Halim dari cawangan X. Ada orang buat laporan polis yang kamu ni pembunuh upahan. Saya nak nama dan nombor kad pengenalan kamu sekarang”
(This is Inspector Halim from X branch. There was a police report saying that you are an assassin for hire. I want your name and identity card number now)

This was when Terence felt a bit uneasy as the tone of the voice didn’t sound as though they were from Hitz.fm. Hitz.fm is a local radio channel notorious in making prank calls. He apologised and informed Inspector Halim that he will have to verify his number before he discloses his details.

A quick check with the police headquarters in Bukit Aman confirmed that the call was indeed made from branch x police station. Terence nearly pissed in his pants.

What happened was --- Terence was in a pub drinking Kilkenny the day before. The pub was having a good deal where you get 2 Kilkenny for the price of 1. By the way, Kilkenny is a very famous Irish beer.

Such a good deal prompted Terence to sms “Kilkenny, 2 for the price of 1” to a friend named Gavin. In perhaps his tipsy-ness, Terence sent the sms to the wrong Gavin. Now, this is where it gets interesting…

Apparently, the wrong Gavin has terminated that number. Apparently, that particular number was recycled by the telecommunication operator and was acquired by this person, let’s call her (yes, it’s a she) Moron. Apparently, the Moron had a fight with her boss the day before. And apparently, the name of Moron’s boss was… Kenny!

When the Moron received an anonymous sms saying “Kilkenny, 2 for the price of 1”, she thought someone was offering to kill her boss (i.e. Kenny) for her. And the Moron… went and made a police report!

And so, poor Terence had to explain to the police that he doesn’t know the Moron, nor Kenny. And certainly, he is not a hitman for hire offering his service to kill Kenny. And not just any killing, 2 for the price of 1! When trying to explain the Kilkenny is actually a beer, the Moron even said that she is a drinker but has not heard any beer name Kilkenny before. Now you know why I call her Moron with a capital M.

On one hand, kudos to the police for taking police reports seriously. On the other hand, why didn’t the police investigate the Moron? For someone to have an argument and then made a police report when the word “kill” was mentioned, the Moron certainly have something in her mind, don’t you think?

Whatever it is, make sure you say “Kilkenny, the beer, 2 for the price of 1” the next time any of you intend to send such sms out.


1 year ago…
“Doh Yu”

2 years ago…
A take at the scandal

42 comments:

ardy said...

Hahaha! Can I have the Moron's number? She sounds like an interesting girl ;)

Jerine said...

Ahahahahahahahaha!!! I couldnt stop laughing!

She's really a moron. I mean Moron. Who doesn't know Kilkenny? 2 for the price of 1... What?? She knows 2 Kennys?

Anonymous said...

i don't!

day-dreamer said...

OMG... but LOL!

Okay, I don't drink, but I know there's this beer called Kilkenny. M must be pretty ignorant eh? ~.~

Dan-yel said...

hahaha... this is so ridiculous indeed. Thanks for your kind words man for my "Dear God" post. :)

Joanne Khoo said...

haha..absolutely hilarious =)

Planet of the Monyets said...

LOL.... must be careful what you drink nowadays.

pharmalogik said...

hahaha..interesting..

~aSstHa~ said...

Zewt u are much too kind... i wud've called her a dumbass... n by her saying she's a drinker... pls don't insult us alco freaks wen u only know d conventional brands like carlsberg n tiger... update a bit la den come tell me u're a drinker when u know how to name all the different glasses they use to serve alco... :P

Pinknpurplelizard said...

So ngam wan meh... *raises eyebrow*

Chong said...

A drinker yet has not heard of the brand 'Kilkenny'? Haha.

j_yenn said...

"Oh my God, they killed Kenny! ...You b@$t@rd$!"

Sorry, suddenly thought about "South Park" and its catchphrase.

Anonymous said...

Terence shud have thought of South Park! When he got da call, he shud have be like "shut your fa*king face, uncle fa*ker!"

blackjack said...

really, the cops dig into this that fast?

ARMIN BANIAZ PAHAMIN said...

That is hillarious zewt... true definition of Moron.. hehehee

Terra Shield said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eiling lim said...

OMG this Moron is really a moron! How could anyone drink beer and not know Kilkenny and it's spelled Kilkenny and not Kill Kenny. What a big miscommunication! I would have pissed in my pants too if I were Terence.

Swee Ping said...

aint suppose to laugh but do feel its a bit funny though. hmm, guess too many beer brands, she might just be one of those tiger or carlsberg drinker only?

snoopy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
goingkookies said...

omg!!! such an incident can even happen.. it's hillarious!! hehe..

well, at least ur friend managed to sort things out.. hehe

Ruthie said...

I just find it strange that the cops would *call* you to investigate if you were a hired assassin.

Wouldn't they just get the info off the service provider (since everyone has to register their details these days) and then have a personal one-on-one questioning?

Perhaps the policeman knew what Kilkenny was, and was just doing the obligatory investigation.

But it's one heck of an incident. You gotta love Moron. :-)

MKL said...

That was just an unfortunate twist of events. One small difference like the Moron's boss's name would be Tiger or Heineken and nothing of that would've happen! So it's obviously not the Moron's fault :P

InjusticeSistem said...

Its so hilarious at 1st, but then i realise that we Malaysians hv too many dumbf*cks ard us that it is scary to imagine how many are actually there.....
1. Tat girl must hv gone to some half baked govt skool who hv half baked grad teachers from uitm, therefore she tak paham bahasa england larrrrrr
2. Da police call up da 'assasin' to ask his name n ic number???what for? to check n reconfirm his profession as an assasin? WTF?! Would da police call up some drug dealer to reconfirm their profession?N da drug dealer is gonna gv his name n ic number n admit he is a drug dealer? i mean....how da hell does da POH-LICE operate/investigate anyway?

ps.I'm interested to noe the content of the comment u deleted...are they dumbf*rks too?

Chloe Teah said...

Gosh~ *hilarious* Hmm..In that case, we shud avoid drinking Tiger beer as well, else will be *buta-buta* accused for trading protected animal?? *Tiger,2 for the price of 1!!* ROFLMAO

missironic said...

Hahahaha... I don't drink also I know KilKenny! Howww??? Hahahaha... But really damn funny.. And poor Terence! It does sound like a gotcha call...

Chicken Ball said...

LMAO! my opinion.. the real Moron is the person who make the call!! LOL!

drumsticks said...

haha.. u always interesting stories to tell..

zewt said...

ardy - hey man, how have you been? i shall ask terence for u :P

Jerine - macam macam pun ada, really.

anon @ 19/2 1.47am - what?

day-dreamer - super...

Dan-yel - no worries mate.

Joanne Khoo - indeed it is.

zewt said...

Planet of the Monyets - and what you sms...

pharmalogik - very!

aSstHa - i wonder if the latest craze in town hoegarden, will create a new M.

pinknpurplelizard - it's true, no kidding.

Chong - well, apparently she didnt...

j_yenn - maybe she is a southpark fan.

zewt said...

anon @ 19/2 12.44pm - i will be visiting terence in the lock up if he did that.

blackjack - yes!

ARMIN BANIAZ PAHAMIN - hello, an honour to have such a figure here. yeah, true definition of morons. plenty in malaysia i am sure.

Terra Shield - your comment aint that terrible, right?

eiling lim - when i first heard it, i tot it was a big joke, but then again, i know terence.

Swee Ping - or chang beer.

goingkookies - he really pissed in his pants!

zewt said...

Ruthie - hi there, welcome! hahaha... personal one on one, that would have been very interesting for terence.

MKL - imagine someone's name being Heineken... Heineken Tan... haha!

InjusticeSistem - now that you mentioned, ya, why call up terence, it didnt really make sense. i suppose they were just fishing.

Chloe Teah - hello there. hahahahahaha... that's a good one!

missironic - if someone sms that to you, you will think they wanna kill your colleague right? haha...

Chicken Ball - hmmm...

drumsticks - as you work longer, you will have too.

missironic said...

Hmm... if let's say i read it fast and saw it as KILLKENNY, then yes. I might tink someone out to get him. Hahaha.. But if i read it slower, I'll just let him know, KilKenny is on offer, faster go and get it! hahaha..

Terra Shield said...

Hahaha... sorry about that. I wanted to post it again, but I got a bit busy and then forgot all about it.

jam said...

What a moron! But kudos to the police!

rinaz said...

Oh my gosh *face palm*

zewt said...

missironic - haha!

Terra Shield - no worries :)

jam - yeah, kudos to them...

rinaz - hello there... :)

Huei said...

HAHAHAHAH OMG BEST STORY EVER!! must shareeee! hahahah

zewt said...

huei - sharing with?

Lisalicious said...

I love Kilkenny but this can be such a hilarious post, how dumb is that lady!

zewt said...

Lisalicious - very... very :P

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