Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Remember, he is a m…naire…

Please note that this is a true story. It may sound bizarre, but it is.

There is this guy, he is a millionaire. This is not an April fool joke, he is a real millionaire. He actually inspected a property on Friday and a decision to purchase it was made by Monday. S&P was signed the following week. Not possible? Let me tell you that it is, because he paid with cash. I shall not go into further details but trust me, he is a millionaire.

However, you will find his lifestyle rather… let me just illustrate it to you as I am unable to find word to describe it…

You would expect this millionaire to be driving a luxury car, right? The answer is no. Technically speaking, he is driving a Japanese car. But, I am very sure you and I would rather drive a Kancil than driving his “Japanese car”. He is driving a Datsun that looks like the picture. I am not sure what the model is. But then again, I wonder whether you have even heard of Datsun. But remember, he is a millionaire.

But then of course, he doesn’t drive to work. Petrol is expensive. So he drives to the nearest LRT station and park his car there. But it’s not a proper parking lot, parking is expensive. The car will be parked at the side of the road; ya’ know, that patch of mud beneath the LRT track? There he shall park his car. Guess he doesn’t have to worry about car theft or damage with his Datsun. But remember, he is a millionaire.

Next on the line: mobile-phone. I understand he used to carry a Nokia 3210. Yes, I bet many of you don’t even know how it looks like. It was actually my very first model. He has since upgraded, I believe it’s a second-hand phone. He changed not because he wanted a new phone, it was because the battery for the 3210 is no longer in production. Again, I don’t know what the “new” model is. All I can say is that is has the old colour-less monochrome screen. Guess maxis can forget about him joining the iPhone craze. But remember, he is a millionaire.

And so he has a phone, and yet, he doesn’t have a phone. More accurately, he somewhat intentionally restricts the mobility of his mobile-phone. Yes, he doesn’t carry his handphone around. But then again, just like anyone of us, he needs to make calls. How does he do it? He borrows someone else’s phone. But remember, he is a millionaire.

There was a time, he was sent overseas for an assignment. This person (remember, he is a millionaire) wanted to call his father. You know that he did? He used the phone in the office he was based in… called the Malaysian office (because he couldn’t call his father directly from where he was)… asked his colleague to call his father using another office phone. So this colleague was carrying 2 phones with the millionaire on one line and the father on the other going…

Millionaire (M) to colleague (C) : Can you tell my father to do this this this?
C to M’s father (F) : M asked you to do this this this.
F to C : Ok, I will do this this this.
C to M : Your father said he will do this this this.
M to C : Can you also tell him… … …
C to F : … …
But remember, he is a millionaire.

By now, I am sure most if not all of you would expect his house to be Astro-less. And of course, you are right! But ya’ know, even if you are willing to sponsor this person (millionaire you know!) his Astro installation and monthly subscription, he will not be able to enjoy it. This is because his current model of his tv is one which do not have a video input or function. It is one where you need to walk to the tv and press on the buttons on the tv to change channel. To those of you who are born in the 80s, yes, such “thing” does exist. But hey, at least it is a colour tv… yay!! People are beginning to feel weird why it is not black and white.

There are also many other interesting things, such as he is aware of which hotel offering their cakes at 50% at which time on which day during the week. He also appears to be wearing the same shirt almost everyday. To go through all of them would result in a novel, a non-fiction one. I guess we only need to remember one thing… that he is a millionaire.

P/S: Sorry, he is already married.
P/S/S: Yes, inviting him for wedding dinner will probably break the Guinness World Record in terms of “biggest” ang-pow of the year.



1 year ago…
The prank that went wrongmore valuable than gold



37 comments:

day-dreamer said...

OMG?

Maybe that's why he is rich... >.<

jemima said...

That's probably why he is a millionaire & we are not. :p

Your P/S makes me wonder if his wife is anything like him. :p

Thevan said...

c'mon now.. this cannot be a real person, let alone a real millionaire.

blackjack said...

this certainly sounds like someone you know. very close too? right zewt? lol!

leyaw said...

All i can say is that the really rich can surprise us in many many ways

drumsticks said...

wah..he is too extreme....
not a good sign..
he is definitely in love with cash for cash itself.. while troubling others to get it..
whats the point for all the cash has...

jun said...

Well, I can't said I admire him. In fact I pity him. What't the point if he keep all the money and refuse to spend a penny??? He ain't gonna take the money with him to heaven or hell. (depends whr he going)

jun said...

Well, I can't said I admire him. In fact I pity him. What't the point if he keep all the money and refuse to spend a penny??? He ain't gonna take the money with him to heaven or hell. (depends whr he going)

foongpc said...

That's probably why he is a millionaire! LOL!

I also know of a very rich person who is extremely calculative and always go for discounted items. But when he goes on a holiday overseas, he spends like there is no tomorrow! I guess these people only spend on what they think is worth spending.

That's why smart millionaires don't own expensive cars and latest, fancy handphones. They know these things are worthless. Besides, why show off you are rich driving an expensive car and get robbed in the process? Better keep low profile and enjoy the money privately, no?

adrian said...

There are many millionaires like him in msia. I know a guy whose father owns a textile business and lives in a big house. a multi millionaire. His son drives a lambo. His father? Rides a bicycle to a nearby shop in his shorts and pagoda t-shirt.

Ulquiorra said...

Thevan, why not? I have few uncles who maintains such lifestyle and yet they are real millionaires.

Helen said...

Well, whatever lifestyle makes him happy... Just hope he's really enjoying this simple lifestyle and not doing it to save a few pennies. BTW, a million is not too much if he's not having business that generate positive cash flow monthly.

You know I know FD rate sucks. :-)

Anonymous said...

true millionaire juz dun show off..while u ppl r judging his KiamSiapness, u dun even know tat u r living an over luxorious slavery life

all those stingyness illustrated above, r they on necessities (apart frm the oversea call story la)? who know how much he quietly spend on non showOff stuff like healthK / charity?

pinknpurplelizard said...

He may be a miser and a millionaire. Being rich don't give you the right to show off or the need to. If you spend on every whim and luxury (which are not needful), you will soon run a hole in ur wallet. Many rich ppl save and spend wisely.

But this dude is a little overboard already. EG - Has his own hp but use others, etc. If you can afford it, spend on the needful and use it. The driving an old datsun, using lrt, old hp, knowing about the promos/offers and not having astro thing, I understand and can allow it.

There are many multi-millionaires in Penang who just walk/lounge daily in their Pagoda singlets, shorts and clogs. Enjoying the simplicity of life.

Huei said...

hahahh well that's y they say stingy people can become rich!

anyway whatever he does is ok..but damn..borrow ppl's phone!?? that's just so low!

n wut's he gona do with all his money when he dies? get buried together? waakkakakaka =P

taxy said...

Two words. Warren. Buffett.

Jacss said...

to live a simple life despite a millionaire is absolutely understandable....but what this dude has been doing are disgracing himself (borrow h/p, trouble ppl to call his dad....) and d TV without a remote control, damn, he got to bang his head to d wall lar!!
btw, yes d sashimo..i got it from cold storage but it maybe only exclusive in BangsarShopping Centre, i don't know!

j or ji said...

serius gua tak paham ni!

sabrina said...

I actualy think the car looks pretty funky!!!! Very Starsky and Hutch!

HappySurfer said...

To each his own, I suppose. Some people like to live down, others like to live up. I have a friend who also bought his house in cash. Another drove a Maserati (in Sgp), yet another doesn't look rich but has his stacks of cash in a simple-looking paperbag everytime he takes it to the bank. Interesting post, Zewt.

gina said...

Seriously.. a lot of rich buggers are driving the worst cars and having the hairstyle of yesteryears.. and wear the same shirt all over and over again. I know. Coz i know of a friend who did this. and he's a millionaire. And there is absolutely no air in him.. and he's generous to buy us meals!

Fi-sha said...

Oh bro..i was about to ask if hes single and available..there goes my prince charming!

Thevan said...

@ Ulquiorra, i just assumed these 'uncles' were not in existence anymore.. but say, give it another 20(30?) yrs, wen we are uncles ourselves, i reckon 'uncles' no mo dy.

@Sabrina, HI-5 la.. they car is definetley sexy kan!

Leno said...

I am more or less the same.

Except that I don't even own a handphone for the past 10 years. Everyone have handphone including small kid. Just borrow, or better still, ask the guy/girl to dial and talk for me.

And so far I have only borrow probably 5 times out of the 10 years ! Imagine paying a 10 years bill just to make 5 calls ? Not to say about having to take care of the phone, carrying it around, charging it, .. such a nuisance !

Get real, be practical ... and the best part is being the millionaire.

little jennifer said...

>.<

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

wah whos tat fellow wor?

Winn said...

stingillionaire !!

zewt said...

day-dreamer - hahaha... damn true.

jemima - trust me, a lot of ppl are wondering too.

Thevan - oh yeah... he is as real as it gets.

blackjack - shhhhh...

leyaw - this one is the ultimate really.

drumsticks - trust me... there are other things, i just cant put it down.

zewt said...

jun - he said... invest woh...

foongpc - well,i know we shouldnt be spending lavishly... but then again, u also shouldnt torture yourself.

adrian - hahahaha.. that's what we call... cina-man.

Ulquiorra - plenty around eh?

Helen - hahaha... tiba tiba FD rate.

anon @ 2/4 9.56am - trust me, nothing luxury. and theer are other things i cant disclose. and yes, that overseas call bit is too much really.

pinknpurplelizard - handphone i can accept... but that part where he asked his colleague to pass message with 2 phones... unbelieveable.

zewt said...

huei - dunno... and i really dun wanna know.

taxy - while he didnt buy a new house... i am sure he has a tv with remote control.

Jacss - hahahaha... trust me, if i tell u what happened recently... u will really question is sanity.

j or ji - haha.. kenapa juliana tak tanya siapa ni... :P

sabrina - hahahha... if a guy asked you out in it, will u go?

HappySurfer - haha... yeah, to each his own. but i think, this one is pretty extreme. exterme is not good.

gina - i am sure he has a tv who got a remote. and he never borrow your phone.

zewt said...

Fi-sha - oh no... i certainly wouldnt recommend... :P

Leno - hi there, welcome! dude... you are unbelievable. but then again, it's a good thing. anyway, do u have a tv without a remote?

little jennifer - powderful leh...

constantly craving joe - hahaha... secret.

Winn - hahahahaha... indeed!

Sheena said...

Genius! Hilariously written. Loved the whole "remember, he is a millionaire."

What on earth does he spend his money on, then? Or does he intend to leave it a suitable person/organisation after he passes? Or, is he one of those people who like saving for the sake of saving, and just have no use for money?

If he is indeed the latter, how I wish I was like that, as well as in terms of his ability to save. This story gives credence to the concept that sneaky advertising & sheer kiasuness manufactures the idea that we absolutely must have some things which we don't actually need.

I mean, that Nokia 3210 is an amazing mobile! I defy you to throw an iPhone on a road, have it run over by car, and have it STILL WORK immediately after you rescue it. Do we REALLY need it?

zewt said...

Sheena - he saves money to buy more shares so that he will have more money to buy more shares. while doing that, he still saves money. good point on the nokia 3210 bit... hahaha... well, i changed mine when the battery went dead, didnt make the effort to look for the battery. you have a good point there. the iPhone... now that is something we should really ask... do we REALLY need it?

erm said...

some uncle in triang are like that....and millionaire....cashh...thats what i like about rural people...never fail to amaze me

zewt said...

erm - triang?

b|eedingsperm said...

I can see why he is a millionaire. As cheap as they get.

zewt said...

bleedingsperm - some made it easy... some worked hard for it... some just... i dunno what to say.