Saturday, 24 February 2007

A "very" close encounter with the rempit-kind

I can be really honest with you, I have absolutely no love towards the Urukhais aka mat rempits. But on the other hand, you gotta salute those creatures, they do have a way of getting what they want, not to mention their evolution from zero to hero.

Where once known as mat-motor, their species was given a complete make-over with the donning of the mat-rempit, then mat-cermelang title. With their new found fame, they went amok in a housing estate and our cops bravely declared they will go “all-out” to stop these Urukhais. The result is a possible construction of a race track just for them, built with tax payers money.

With their confidence very much boosted, they then created more havoc and once conjured up a stone shower on cops station, wow, talk about guts! Again, our protectors boldly proclaimed that they will go “all-out” to stop those pest. What’s the result?.... these Urukhais being absorbed into the crime fighting contingent, with additional tip too. And did I mention free bikes?

3 years ago, I had a close encounter with these creatures, and it goes like this:

It was 2 weeks before Christmas and I was driving home after sending one of my friend to GE Mall. It was totally out of the way home but since Christmas was around the corner, I figured I should be a good Samaritan and do something good. After dropping my friend off, I was heading towards KL, driving on Jalan Ampang.

For those who aren’t aware, Jalan Ampang is a 2 way street, traffic on both sides and 2 lanes for each direction. I was on the outer lane driving at probably 60km/h. On the inner lane are a few Urukhais doing some funky stunts in the middle of a busy road. A full tank (RM7?) for these people will probably last them a night, not bad for a weekend entertainment.

Then, all of a sudden, one of them decided to make a U-turn, from the inner lane to the road going on the opposite direction, WITHOUT looking at traffic on the outer lane (I hope this is descriptive enough). He was barely 5 meters in front of me when that happened and the next thing I know…. “BANG!”, I floored the brake but the car was still moving. This is because something was stuck underneath my front wheels and thus, there was not enough friction between the wheels and the road to stop my car. Don’t fret, it did stopped, albeit about 10 meters away.

I shouted “F**k”, got down the car and damn, I was so afraid to see what’s stuck underneath my front wheels… ya’ know, maybe “kepala meletup” or “tangan putus” or “telur bocor” or “batang putus”… who knows? I gave out a huge sigh of relief when I realised it was my bumper, or part of it. I then looked around to see any trace of blood, totally oblivious about traffic, and almost got hit by a car myself. Amazingly, the supposedly ‘victim’ was alright. I guess Urukhai are pretty tough after all. But he was holding his hip, complaining how sore it is. He is not dead!!! Another huge sigh of relief.

I then drove my car to the side of the road (there was a Land Rover showroom) and assessed my damage. My bumper and one of my fog light were totally smashed. Just then, I heard someone shouted behind me “Boss!! Saya punya pinggang sakit, saya mau jumpa doktor, apa macam?”. As I turned around, I saw about 20 (yes… 20!!! Twenty… dua puluh) Urukhais with helmets in their hands… SCREAMING at me as though I’ve just committed a great crime.

Let’s just pause for a moment and ponder, what would you do if you were in my position? I was feeling really pissed cause this moron made a turn out of nowhere, my car is damaged and now, they want me to pay for his damages and repairs, and I am given the impression that failure to comply with their demand means excessive physical injury.

At that time, I was dressed in a rather decent manner (not that I am any decent) as I just got back from a formal function. These morons must be thinking I am some timid china apek who will give in to their demands. Just at that moment, a patrol car came due to the commotion, BUT GUESS WHAT?? One of the Urukhai went to the patrol car and whispered something, and the patrol car… DROVE AWAY! I guess the cops and the Urukhais are made from each other since day 1. From that moment onwards, I know I am on my own.

How did I get out of it? With plenty of fluent ‘national language’ (seriously, I do speak fluently in my national language). Identify the leader and successfully psycho-ed him that it’s not my fault, plus, the victim should be over the moon for still being alive. Am afraid I can’t describe the whole ordeal here. But let me assure you, it took me 1 hour trying to calm down 20 angry hostile bikers and got out of there… alive. Ya’ know, they were all really holding their helmets ready for action.

As I was driving home, I was thinking how fortunate I was that I didn’t actually kill that Urukhai because if I did, it will be really ugly. Having said that, are we supposed to feel guilty if we do?

As I’ve mentioned earlier, if the government can ban firecrackers as it’s deemed to be a danger to us all, I am puzzled why the Urukhais activities are not banned. And now, the government is considering banning fast food ads… ya’ know… no more “Finger Licking Good” or “Happy Meal”…apparently it’s bad. But of course, nothing mentioned about banning the Urukhais.

P/S: TNS… this is the experience that I mentioned to you earlier…

29 comments:

the witch's broo said...

Oh God!
I wish I could shoot them!
Havent we all been caught on the road with so many of them swarming around you, riding menacingly.
They really don't care of they hit you! But if you so much as "touch' any of them, you're dead!
Just thinking about them makes me so angry!

Sharina said...

I hate rempits. Not as much as when they're on the road but when they start lepak'ing in shopping malls or just about anywhere. The sounds they make when a girl walks by, UGH. It makes my skin crawl

dy said...

hmm.. if me, i think i will straight away go balai.. or call any lawyers if it's needed. if they want to touch me with their helmets, that's it! they are SO dead.

but you're lucky tho.. it happened in a "malay district" with so many rempits, you are damn lucky.lone somemore...

What A Lulu said...

hmm... if you can talk [and psyche] 20 rempits out of "blood money", maybe you'd want to consider a new career in sales.

i always thought that if i were to be in such a situation with either rempits or cops, i'd think of the moment when barbara hershey died in the movie beaches and bette midler's wing beneath my wings was played, and start burst into tears. will that work? the tears i mean, not the way i get the tears to come?

freelunch2020 said...

agree with lulu man zewt, if u can talk out of "blood money" then u can have a stellar career in sales, or POLITICS :D

" But let me assure you, it took me 1 hour trying to calm down 20 angry hostile bikers and got out of there… alive. Ya’ know, they were all really holding their helmets ready for action."

but in this case they are samseng + 'breaking the law' or is rempit-ing a legal past time or even a NATIONAL SPORT now?

i think inspiring confidence is one thing but surely in more productive areas. we don't want to encourage negative behaviour.

SuLee said...

Why Urukhais?

sometime having a blog also serve the purpose of looking back what was on your mind today of two years ago.

vegemaster said...

Screw the retarded Mat rempits la!!!
They serve no purpose on this planet at all..

I once encountered this before where i was at a red light when suddenly 50+ motors came and surrounded my car like bees~

My window which was open was immediately closed shut the moment i saw them coming from my rear mirror.. lolz.

You were indeed lucky that you didnt run over that fella..
Scary outcome.. XD

Huei said...

OMG!! U're so lucky to have gotten out of this shit!

my friend once encountered a similar thing, it was the motorcyclist fault, but he ended up getting beaten up, and his gto was completely bashed up!

fuck these mat rempits! hope they end up killing each other or something, or their "girlfriends" gets aids and spread among them! haha

i wouldn't wana imagine encountering them myself, it will be more than a nightmar of having to convince 20 people that it was not your fault *shudders*

screw the "sui yao"! all of them are scared as well, wut to do..we are in msia >.< we chinese have no rights!

Russ said...

Wahlaueh, good job u can talk your way out of danger!
If it was me, i think i would have tried to do the same. Either that or just get back in the car and run them all over! Still better than getting beaten-up right?? :)

Calvin's Girl said...

(=_+)" you are lucky... though ure the right one, just apologize and get the hell out of there. Too many for one fella like you... MahLaiYin bo eung wan, what to do...

Tiuniasing said...

Good story. Lucky you are safe and your cock still can rock.

As for the page alignment, you just have to replace 2 parts of your code. You have to do it on your own, but I can give you my sample code:-

Part 1:
#header {
width:850px;
margin:0 auto 10px;
border:1px solid #333;
}

Part 2:
#content {
width:850px;
margin:0 auto;
padding:0;
text-align:left;
}
#main {
width:620px;
float:right;
}
#sidebar {
width:220px;
float:left;
}

I hope it helps.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

hi zewt,
wow. was that not scary? DONT EVER LET THEM SCARE YOU, Zewt. They are a bunch of ***$#@$ (too awful to say publicly)
I have had several occasions when I was caught in traffic in the wee hours of the morning with these Mats around me.
THEY DONT SCARE ME! I often wondered if they would provoke me. So far, they hadnt. But I swear if they did... (never mind!). So far in my encounters with them ( at the traffic lights or on the road), nothing had ever happend. Every time I see them, I would get angrier and angrier. For many reasons. Especially the fact that they are Malays. And giving such a terrible horrible name and image to Malays. These idiotic good-for-nothing guys are really bullies operating in herds.
I must relate to you about that one time (at abt 2am)... I was at the traffic lights (on the LDP highway opposite the Petronas station in Taman Tun) on my way home to TTDI from Damansara utama side.I was right in front. The lot of them were coming from my right. The lights on my side went green, they looked as thought they didnt care, threatening to beat the red lights, I honked so loud (I drive a SUV), I did not slow down and just drove as menacingly as they were riding, went ahead, revving my accelerator, threatening to run them over! I didnt care..
Thankfully,there were other cars coming my way and from their side and they were honking away and flashing their lights.
Come to think of it. I was lucky.
My buddy, Rocky, (a giant of a man), wasnt amused. He told me that these bug...s are very teruk. Oh well... I shall TRY to remember that the next time I encounter these ^7%#+#** (my mother told me nefver to swear and curse)..

sorry, this took so much space, zewt.. just writing this is giving me severe palpitations!

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

hi zewt,
wow. was that not scary? DONT EVER LET THEM SCARE YOU, Zewt. They are a bunch of ***$#@$ (too awful to say publicly)
I have had several occasions when I was caught in traffic in the wee hours of the morning with these Mats around me.
THEY DONT SCARE ME! I often wondered if they would provoke me. So far, they hadnt. But I swear if they did... (never mind!). So far in my encounters with them ( at the traffic lights or on the road), nothing had ever happend. Every time I see them, I would get angrier and angrier. For many reasons. Especially the fact that they are Malays. And giving such a terrible horrible name and image to Malays. These idiotic good-for-nothing guys are really bullies operating in herds.
I must relate to you about that one time (at abt 2am)... I was at the traffic lights (on the LDP highway opposite the Petronas station in Taman Tun) on my way home to TTDI from Damansara utama side.I was right in front. The lot of them were coming from my right. The lights on my side went green, they looked as thought they didnt care, threatening to beat the red lights, I honked so loud (I drive a SUV), I did not slow down and just drove as menacingly as they were riding, went ahead, revving my accelerator, threatening to run them over! I didnt care..
Thankfully,there were other cars coming my way and from their side and they were honking away and flashing their lights.
Come to think of it. I was lucky.
My buddy, Rocky, (a giant of a man), wasnt amused. He told me that these bug...s are very teruk. Oh well... I shall TRY to remember that the next time I encounter these ^7%#+#** (my mother told me nefver to swear and curse)..

sorry, this took so much space, zewt.. just writing this is giving me severe palpitations!

pink fairy princess sa said...

*stunt*
geee...such oh-my-god situation.
I dun tink i manage to get myself out of that kinda thingy, should thank god you're fine and still in one piece.
what's with the policemen then???
cheh~!

Kenny Mah said...

Your whole experience is really disturbing to read, my friend, but none more than the fact the cops drove off after talking to the Mat Rempits.

What were they thinking? Or is this how they operate, business as usual? Terrible, terrible. We cannot afford to keep taking this kind of abuse (almost criminal neglect) from those who are supposed to protect us.

Ga... this makes my blood boil...

zewt said...

witch's broo - yeah, dont we all wanna shoot them. someone should organise a 'shoot the rempits' event... like shooting crows.

sharina - hahahaha, did they make a remark on u? perhaps they think you're a chinese ahmoi.

dy - yup, a 'malay area'... and do u think they let me go to balai before settling the problem? it's not easy to even move when they're all surrounding me.

what a lulu - hey there, thanks for dropping by, it's a pleasure to have you here. career in sales? oh well, thinking back, i think i had incredible calmness there. i think tears wont help, they dont look like a bunch who are softhearted.

freelunch - hahaha, first lulu said sales, now you say politics!? wow... well, i dont have a huge amount of wealth like tony... so not yet. well, do u know why i brand them as urukhais? becos their master is breeding them for a more serious purpose... like in LOTR.

SuLee - well, do u know why i brand them as urukhais? becos their master is breeding them for a more serious purpose... like in LOTR.

vegemaster - you're lucky they didnt do anything to you that time. once, my friend's windscreen got smashed... they did it for fun i think.

huei - wah, your fren really had a sucky encounter eh. hahaha, you're really good at cursning, but it's good, i support your curse... haha!

russ - my car was not in a condition to run over them. even if i want to, i need to get back in my car... which was quite a task then.

tiuniasing - hahaha... still rocking for sure. thanks for the tips.

nuraina - i can feel your anger... haha! yeah, i think a legion of them likes to frequent the LDP. sometimes, they even ride against traffic just for fun. i just wish one day, they govt will come to their senses and ban them! and no problem about the space at all...

pinky fairy - the police? they tutup satu mata la... ya, i am really thankful i got out of there alive, consider huei said her fren got beaten up and his car got smashed.

Kenny Mah - i have no idea why they drove away. having said that, the situation could be worse (for me) if they stay. u know, the cops could step down and say i am wrong.

Maverick SM said...

Those Mat Rempit have no race or religion. They even killed their own creed.

L B said...

It's late at night, but I did a quick speed-read thru, and you have an excellent blog. Good content, interesting topics..

Economist said...

sharina mention these ppl make girls skin crawl...padahal some of them have i would say quite PRETTY n somewhat HOT CHICKS wif them as pillion riders..DAMN....

a mechanic once commented to my fren when he was saving my fren fr the side of the highway where his INTEGRA (somewhat sporty car for those not in the know) brokedown ...the mechanic ask my fren whether he had a gf..my fren said NO...mechanic said tengok la u pandu kereta sport pun takda awek..mat rempit pakai moto saja pun dapat awek hahaha....my fren was damn stress after that!!!

Lin Peh said...

Get into your car, crash it into the fucker, reverse, crash another one....Repeat until you see the road covered by 20 dead bodies (no more, no less)...LOL!

tunku halim said...

Are Mat Rempits a Malaysian phenomena? How do you join? Do they have any bloody rituals? Maybe you can do an undercover story.

Jessica said...

Good. I agree with Lin Peh. Just have to worry about jail later on. =P
But then again, without them on the road, it's not considered Malaysian roads eh, even with the jam. Part and parcel of Malaysian road. But definitely can live without these pests!

zewt said...

Maverick - they do more than just killing their own race...

L B - thanks for dropping by. I am glad you like my blog.

Economist - so are you going to turn into an urukhai to get a chick? hahahaha... so did your fren get a bike instead of continue with his integra?

Lin Peh - like Jessica said... can end up in jail ler... not worth it. though i admit i really wanna do it sometimes... but dont we all?

tunku halim - they may not be a malaysian phenomena but they are fast becoming a culture! hmmm.. undercover story... that's not a bad idea. but first, i must learn how to ride a bike.

Jessica - wah, finally dropping your comment eh? i think i can do without this 'part and parcel' of malaysian road.

Dangerous Variable said...

The next time you buy another car, ask the car dealer, like Borat, this question.

"if I were to drive this car into a group of mat rempits, can I have a guarantee of a 100% roadkill fatality?"

or if you buy a gun...

"is this gun good to shoot down any of these fucking mat rempits with one shot?"

How I wish we can go rempit hunting in the city like fox or geese hunting with a rifle!

zewt said...

dangerous variable - dont we all wish for the same thing... wish the annual crow hunting activity organised by the town council will have the mat rempit in sight too...

bongkersz said...

maybe it's because you can speak national language very well and that save you :) i do feel that, they're not that hostile when you talk to them in national language. not the saya awak bahasa baku but the ' kite.. rilek ah lah brader, ko, aku.. tak yah gaduh lar ' hehehe..

-Princess Shin- said...

Oh my goodness! Its story like this that makes you so angry with the government! >.<

screw them!

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