First, you definitely gotta respect us due to our excellent financial planning. We are a bunch of stupid modern slaves working our ass off everyday and getting paid peanuts for it, and yet, we can afford a car. No car no can do, particularly in KL. Those fellas who get their balls squeezed and get paid RM1,300 a month also can drive a car. Everyday roti kosong + ais kosong, no problemo, as long as I have car. See, we are damn good in financial planning.
Secondly, you gotta respect us for our level of patriotism. High fuel cost? Increase in toll? Not freaking problemo. Also must thank the goament for reducing road tax by about RM10 a year. Damn a lot weh! Can you imagine how many roti kosong + ais kosong some fellas can get from that RM10? We understand we have to pay more for petrol and pay higher toll for some semi-value highway cos our king has to live in a new palace, one joker has to play batu seremban in space and our AFF semi finalist footballers (wooo, semi-finals, don’t pray pray) have to train in London. Expensive petrol and high toll… still drive. See, how fu*king patriotic we are?
Who said we Malaysian drivers are stubborn? We are damn flexible I tell you! Just look at the way we refuse to be bound by the rigidity of law. Green, yellow or red, just tekan the accelerator. Whether it is double line or dotted line, just signal and pusing. Emergency lanes? Cheaper road tax doesn’t mean we can’t use it right? Yellow line? Just park only… No line means can double park. See, our flexibility and ability to think outside the box in order to be the first at a junction or cross-road deserves much admiration.
So what if our flexibility fails us, and what if those fellas pull you over? Fear not, we are a resourceful bunch. With our impeccable negotiation skills, rest assured, everything will be settled instantly and immediately. Besides, those fellas are damn helpful I tell you… that’s why when you you “boleh tolong kah?”, they sure tolong you wan, cos they’re a helpful bunch. See, we are damn resourceful, always know how to get out of trouble. Besides, “settle sini” usually means got discount… ahh, see, good financial planning can be seen here.
Who said we Malaysian drivers are selfish? We are damn kind and warm towards each other. Remember those times where we are stuck inside the yellow box? Just look at the way we all squeeze inside so that more cars can freaking join the stop-in-yellow-box-crowd. Damn thoughtful right? All goes to show that we want to be closely knitted to each other. We will try to be as close to the car in front of us so that the car behind can also make it into the yellow box, a true demonstration of selflessness. I mean, we also do not want to be seen as aloof and distant from each other, right? This is why no matter what speed we are travelling, we always tail each other closely.
Courage is also a very significant characteristic of a Malaysian driver. People always say the roads are not safe, damn freaking true! Just look at the amount of 'land-mines' present on our roads which appear in the form of pot-holes. Try running through it at high speed, like the one in the pic, your car may overturn I tell you!. Besides such 'land-mines', there is also the presence of 'dark-beings' on the road, in the form of Urukhais ala Mat Rempits . If one has a weak heart, one may not be able to take it when 20-30 of such dark-beings riding next to you. Worst, sometimes, they may even be heading towards you from the opposite direction. Indeed, we Malaysian drivers are a courageous bunch.
Last but not least, we Malaysian drivers are probably the most patient people in the world. Just look at the way we brace through the jam. We love to listen to listen Morning Crew and despite gotcha calls are getting boring, we still like to listen to them, that’s why we are love to get stuck in the jam early in the morning. Do we take the public transport as an alternative? Of course not! Late for work? No problemo. Besides, "Biar lambat, asalkan selamat", did we not learn this during our primary school days?
So there you have it. The true nature of us Malaysian drivers. Next time some fellas tell you Malaysian drivers are terrible, ask them to read this post. They really need to look beyond our surface in order to see how much effort we put in to bring the best out of us. If only people will understand us, then we will never be stereotyped as rude, bullies and inconsiderate.... Sigh.