Thursday, 26 February 2009

A new trend with the couples

There is currently a growing trend amongst us. I noticed that there are quite a number of couples around who are registered but not married. Yes, you heard me right… registered and not married. When you pose the question “Are you married?” to them, their answer will not be a straight yes or no but rather… “registered”.

And no, I am not referring to those who get registered with a wedding ceremony in the pipeline. I am referring to those who have registered with no immediate plan of a wedding ceremony.

So is getting registered considered married?

Apparently, the answer is yes and no, depending on the situation. It can be confusing.

Firstly, being registered doesn’t mean you’re married, at least not during Chinese New Year. Apparently, registered couples do not need to give ang-pows. Why? Well, they are only registered and no wedding ceremony has been performed yet. Hence, they are not married. And… some registered couples even expect married couples to give them ang-pows!

So no, registered couples are not considered as married during CNY.

Interestingly, the answer will be a ‘yes’ when you are talking about married couple activities. Yes, I am talking about sex. Registered couples can officially move in together, bonk in the kitchen and then talk about it and that’s perfectly fine. “Registered already mahhh…” will be their respond to any query. Yes… post-registration-sex does not fall within the ambit of pre-marital sex.

Strange enough; after about a year or so and you ask them…
“So when are you going to have a baby?”
“Where can, not married yet lah”
”(*&*#*&@^&^#@^”


And so, while post-registration-sex is not pre-marital-sex, post-registration-pregnancy needs to be avoided, just like pre-marital-pregnancy.

But you know what the best part is? It’s when you want to refer to this person’s partner…

“Hey Jane, how are you? How is your husband doing?”
“My husband? Ohhh… no lah, he is not my husband yet. We’re not married lah”
(But do note, they are bonking)
“So how is your errr… boyfriend? Err no… fiancé? Wait, what is he then?”











“Just call him John”

Any Janes and Johns out there?


1 year ago…
The significance of non-voters

48 comments:

leyaw said...

Its much cheaper to get registered. Pay 30ringgit only. Wedding will cost a few hundreds time more. Besides there are so many other advantages. Neither here nor there, their folks will sure geleng-geleng kepala

Leah said...

Registration is a civil ceremony. We considered it a done deal after the ceremony, don't plan to have a wedding. Quite a few of my cousins are married that way, so my family are used to that. :-)

"maemee" said...

Fuiyohhh... I'm definitely guilty for the first part i.e. registered but still went around collecting ang pows this CNY! Hehe... times are bad you know so better collect before the customary wedding take place la...

We registered on 09-01-09 cos' it was a good date and a nice number combination. But our wedding banquets will only be held end of this year cos most places in KL requires a minimum of 1 year advanced booking if not longer... :)

So if you ask me if I'm married... I will say YES! Definitely! Hehe...

Vivien said...

this is crazy, i mean registered means married la, why all the confusion, anyway i think those who registered but considered themselves not married(because not yet wedding dinner) are those mostly traditional chinese

jlshyang said...

There are so many people out there I know who are registered and not married including some relatives in my extended family.

You're right about the CNY part! I was expecting to collect more ang pows the last CNY but they said 'we're only registered lah, not married yet'. Lol.

Erm, in fact i'm looking into this idea myself. Not because of anything la but I will need many more years to save up for a once in a life time lavish wedding ceremony. hahahaha!

Life for Beginners said...

Janes or Johns, let us not judge them lest we be judged too. To each their own, marital or registered bliss so long as they are happy together. ;)

Edi神 said...

then i think i have married & dirvoce more than 10times!

iamthewitch said...

Registered = married in all legal sense, and I think it's fooling people if registered couples still consider themselves not married.

day-dreamer said...

LOL, interesting "observation".

But from the legal point of view, isn't registered = married? I mean, it's valid in the name of law, right?

Binn said...

well, what to do? people nowadays are trying to get their butts off from giving ang pao, cause of economy crisis mar... so register only lor... jk jk

no i think its because of the "live-to-gather" and see whether the 2 person works out living together before they really make it "traditionally-official" in front of all the people they know.

but who knows if there are other legal reasons behind them right? im no lawyer... so no comment there lar

Anonymous said...

vivien "i think those who registered but considered themselves not married(because not yet wedding dinner) are those mostly traditional chinese"

i strongly disagree, thats bias! its an act of bashing n distance urself frm anything bad of ur own kind! ok juz got such idea from last 9 news regarding the comments generated frm this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbVw7entkxg

"no i think its because of the "live-to-gather" and see whether the 2 person works out living together before they really make it "traditionally-official" in front of all the people they know"

thats to me the more likely situation, they wanna enjoy all married advantage but DONT wanna responsible for all the RISK.

no future for the asian values zewt

Jennifer said...

I really don't understand why ppl nowadays want to act as such. I have met my share of Janes and Johns, it was exactly what you said.

To me, if registered, it means you are legally married, no matter what they want to say. Why they can't just admit and recognize the partner as husband/wife? It's really funny that they took 'big' step to register (to me it takes great commitment, there's no turning back once you signed the paper), yet they still don't want to admit they are married. Sigh! Weird ppl...

missironic said...

I find registered is married. It means the couple has legally and officially married. So don't understand why they want to bother pretending they r not..they're not happy being married ka? hahahaha..

and the collecting angpows... i tink it's just a way to "scam" more money while they still "availably" can! hahahaha... :P

Huei said...

chinese ma...register liao..still have to "kor tai lai" with all the tea ceremony things n a dead pig..i mean roasted pig..big grand dinner..b4 considered 100% married =P

my bf's fren was registered for 2yrs b4 getting "officially" married!

me..not yet!! wouldn't wana delay it anyway..doesn't make sense to make urself n other ppl confused! but even if i was registered n not "officially" married..i'll call him my husband! =P

Purple~MushRooM said...

To me, registered means married. I take my wedding anniversary as my registration day, not the ceremoy day.

Usually, only for the chinese to go through officialy ceremony to announce that they are married.

Technically and legally, registered = married. Coz u still need to sign divorce paper if you decide to separate for good. Right?

bongkersz said...

Registered means married lah! If me, I will tembak them kao kao for creating the 'mess' for married and registered thingy. Just an excuse that understandable only to them. Bah! =P

Biasalah, some people love the 'single' status. Single but not available.

Never able to fathom lah, when you have registered but not married, bonking, staying together, registered but not husband and wife, then you also have.. fuck buddy. Wahahaaaaaaahhaaaaa!

PinknPurpleLizard said...

Being registered is as good as getting married. Most don wanna have the dinner and celebrations which incur a high cost.

However, in a chinese wedding, you actually recover all the costs most of the times due to the ang pows received. There are actually couples who write 'No gifts please. Cash is preferred.' in their invitation cards nowadays. Its a commonality.

I love celebrations. It's a public announcement to everyone who your spouse is and have a good time.

niss.. said...

registered wedding means that you're married regardless if there is a ceremony or not...because you can't marry another person when you have registered...

Also, when you are registered and you dun call your other half hubby, then explain why u need a divorce letter should the two would not get along?

it only takes RM to to register, it would take at least ten times of that amount to divorce....

Terra Shield said...

Registered is married. Period.

Being Asian, however, we seem to need to validate getting married with traditional ceremonies - kind of a way to announce that you are indeed married, or perhaps to puaskan hati orang tua :)

jam said...

Come on, registration is merely just a lame excuse to have legal premarital sex. But who says we cannot have sex before marriage if we dun get registered?

lynnx01 said...

Registered or wedding, I do wish I find one lifetime partner. The future looks bleak..

mar said...

Registered = legally married = married la...for those Janes and Johns, geleng kepala...there goes our Asian values.

FarKvivien said...

vivien "i think those who registered but considered themselves not married(because not yet wedding dinner) are those mostly traditional chinese"

I also strong disagree. It is a choice whether people want to considered "married" or not. In the society we live in, the wedding ceremony is very important. Registration is just one part of the entire wedding programme.

Fine, then call me traditional chinese. I have a freaking right to be a traditionalist. I believe more in form than substance.

Pookyma said...

diu... wat's with ppl these days? My parents nv did a wedding dinner kinda thingy for friends or family.

All they did was register,then do the tea ceremony at home.kao tim!!

Cyanide said...

I'm one of the registered but not yet married people out there.

I agree with u... why not do everything 1 shot. Save the trouble and confusion. Thing is, my fiance/husband/bf and I are still saving for a wedding since we recently spend most of our savings on a new house. Plus, they are lots of external factors like work e.g. if you've a spouse, less likely the MOH will separate us by sending one of us to some kampung hospitals far away from where we are right now. Yeah, things like these. In short, ready for the commitment but finances are tight. But u just cant forego the traditional wedding right? I wont feel married without it.

For me, I may be legally married but im not at all married in the eyes of God. So no pre-marital sex.

I guess at the end of the day, whether you register or u go down the aisle or u offer tea to your elders to signify a wedding, the most important point is the agreement between a couple about what marks the beginning of a marriage. And then you move on from there.

But of course, the best would be to do everything one shot. Don't even think of engagement. Hehe.

giddy tigress said...

You took these thoughts right out of my head! I know many people who do that, and some even blatantly state that they are allowed to collect angpows since they are not married yet. Apparently the traditional Chinese wedding ceremony with the tea ceremony constitutes the VERY first time the couple is to give angpows (for the rest of their married lives).
But you are darn right about the "married couple activities" - looks as though these Johns and Janes are selectively choosing things they like and pushing away those they don't eh?

Faisal Admar said...

Sex is always good. Marriage is commitment.

:)

Lingzie said...

hey zewt! its been a while since i last dropped by.
i've got a friend who has been registered for about 5 years or so. amazing right? but everyone treats them as a married couple since its been so long. she actually hates the hassle of having the wedding dinner. but they'll be having it soon i think (pressure from the elders)

littlepolaris said...

haha, perhaps when they are registered, and then after all the bonking and the girl got STD or cancer of the cervix due to too much bonking (probably bcos they are not officially married, maybe the guy went and bonk other china wawas and contracted some STD)... then can sue the guy for compensation? lol

Angie Tan said...

I thought the other type of trend was to hold a wedding dinner and NOt get registered... Hmmm...

The reason why this kind of thing took place because the bride/groom wants an "out option" just in case the "marriage" doesn't work out.

However, from a legal standpoint, if anything were to happen to either party in terms of death, etc... neither party is eligible...

The odd thing is that when you hold the wedding ceremony, (from the Chinese sense), you are "legally married" in the eyes of your relatives and friends... Hmmm...

CarolineL said...

Boyfriends may be refer to as husbands. What about the in-laws? Do they still call them auntie/uncle? Or mom/dad? Hmmm... this, I like to know :D

zewt said...

leyaw - in malaysia, wedding can make money ler.

Leah - hello, been a while. well, i think that is accepted in the western culture, not here though.

"maemee" - still collecting ang pow!!! tsk tsk tsk... so typical la u.

Vivien - nope... trust me, they are NOT traditional chinese.

jlshyang - hahaha... but have licence to sex eh?

life for beginners - well, surely happy if they take such approach.

zewt said...

Edi - woooaah... so exciting ah your life :)

iamthewitch - they consider themselves not only in certain circumstances.

day-dreamer - yeah, but guess not legal enough to give ang pow. summore wanna collect!

Binn - yeah, there may be other reasons... like property haha!

anon @ 27/2 8.34am - true, we are losing our asian values by the minute. worse, we are deliberately trying hard to lose it.

Jennifer - very weird. and they want to get the advantage of having married, but dont want to admit it. sigh.

zewt said...

missironic - hahaha.. scam indeed. save money and can make money.

huei - will u give ang pow then? that's the most important haha.

purple mushroom - legal for sex but not ang pow... not fair right?

bongkersz - single but not available. yes... damn smart these ppl. fuck bud hahahaha...

pinkpurplelizard - yeah, the chinese wedding invitation is getting very blatant nowadays... really terrible.

niss - all these janes and johns... should drill some sense into them isnt it?

zewt said...

terra shield - in that case, registered it to get licence to fuck lor... right?

jam - EXACTLY!

mar - wah... where have u been? :)

xxxxvivien - traditionalist is good. i am beginning to see the beauty in being one really.

pookyma - hahaha... still give u ang pow... then ok lah.

Cyanide - Your stand on sex in God's eyes... kudos to you.

zewt said...

giddy tigress - took it our of your head huh :) married couple activities... yes, registration is a quite legal fix to that.

faisal admar - and who say you need marriage nowadays? haha

lingzie - are they giving ang pows?

littlepolaris - you and your xxxx mind haha.

Angie Tan - huh? is there such trend? the marriage is not legal...

CarolineL - hahahahaha... a very good one!! Just call them John's mom i guess hahahaha...

Huei said...

might geh..if u ask me now it'll be very hard to answer..cos i'm dead broke! hahahaha =P maybe just smaller abit..it's the thought that counts rite! (n hopefully no double la =P)

Lingzie said...

zewt - nope they dont give ang pows. but they dont receive ang pows either.

littlepolaris said...

I'm having Obstetrics & Gynaecology class now. I'm seeing female reproductive organs everyday la! Haha

Antonia said...

Hahaha!!

This is hilarious, I get your point, and you made my day dude! =)

I even have some friends who are registered, but have absolutely no plans in getting married (not in a way that they don't want to have a ceremony, but they don't considered them as married couples, ever!).Confused?? Me too.

Some says those registered couples are considered as half-married.

But for me, if you are not getting married soon, you won't go for a registration. If you went for a registration, you would have definitely planned your wedding already right?? All this is just "in the process".

Or this is just for the tax thing? =)

Antonia said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
zewt said...

huei - hahahaha... so nice lah u. yeah, small is enough.

lingzie - that's good.

littlepolaris - a lot of pussies eh? :P

Antonia - hey, welcome to AZIAG. your friend... what the hell are they doing lah? hahahahahaha.... is it they just want to legalise their sex? hahahahahahaha....

Anonymous said...

Make sure you register and hold wedding ceremony ( esp the tea ceremony) if really decide to settle down..I think it should be safer.

You know y? I did come accoss with this couple get register & stay together ( as not thinking to waste money for wedding ceremony) but the guy hold wedding ceremony with other lady (due to eer accidence). Everyone recongnise the other lady due to wedding ceremony while the register one is illegal from their eyes. This couple alr together since they are young 'ching mun chuk ma'..so anything may happen. will it going to be trend ? Now see another couple..going to this..

zewt said...

anon @ 6/3 10.01am - so in the end, the man stay with the girl from the ceremony? confused...

Angie said...

Are u kidding me???

Registered, ppl, means married in the eyes of the law.

If the chinese wedding ceremony is not done, means the relatives might not know of the married couples and that the couple might have to hear of "When gonna have the wedding lunch/dinner?" for the rest of their lives till they have one.

There's no such thing as registered..but not married.

Whoever believe that, is merely lying to themselves.

The End.

zewt said...

Angie - well, believe it! it's as true as it can get :) you may think they are lying to themselves but i dont think they care. after all, they are enjoying the goodies.

mel said...

i reckon that these "registered" and "wedding" definitions only happens in malaysia.

why can't they say that i'm married?!! instead of "registered"?!! * annoying *

are they still living in denial??! * sigh * perhaps they think that being "registered" is nothing compared to the "wedding"...

once u sign that paper it's legal... : )

zewt said...

mel - well, they have the best of both world...