Thursday, 6 November 2008

More keywords splendour

The “keyword analysis” function under StatCounter has always been fascinating. Having observed the function for a while (again), I realised sexual related stuff is still the most searched for items in the cyber-world and some of them happened to land in my blog.

Before I show those sexual driven searches, here is one non-sexual keyword which I think is rather… well sad…
Whoever you are, I feel for you man. But you know, it’s never too late. The sooner you realised you have made the professional mistake, the better.

Right… now that we’ve got that one out of the way, let’s get to the hot stuff…
I have absolutely no idea how groping a piece of cloth can give you any sexual pleasure but hey, whatever makes you happy man. Can't help but think some rempit made the search. But then, someone went one step ahead and did…

Whoever you are, I don’t know what have gotten into you. Perhaps you were really looking for some really out of this world orgasm or something. I hope you didn’t find the ‘sticky’ type. Ya know, you don’t really want to be stuck with one who wouldn’t leave you.

Now that what’s we’re talking about, a more sensible one. I wonder if he ever found an answer as simple as … “hump me please” in the web. Whoever you are, if you manage to find what is arguably the ultimate answer to life, you might just land yourself a very profitable business.

Imagine… “I am… I am… Ohhhhh… ohhhh….”
And then… “honey, what’s that smell?”
Must have been hard for you. Maybe you should check whether you hit the right hole or something…
As far as I remember, I don’t think AZAIG provide any penis enlargement services. But I think I know why people search for such thing… I wonder the same dude hoping to enlarge his pole searched for this…
Girl… does size matters? It certainly does for that this dude’s gf.

OooOOOooo… someone got into some big trouble huh… say, is there a way to discover this? Men are going to hate me for this. But no worries… while men are bastards… women have their evil side too…

Maybe you can graciously forgive your husband after discovering he had a one-night-stand. Otherwise… anyone has any idea on how to “re-deem your-self?”

Ya’ know what? While some keywords have been quite sick… it can never beat this…














Talk about keeping healthy!!!!

Do read… the original Keyword Splendour.

32 comments:

myop101 said...

hahaha....

the last one really takes it all...

§pinzer said...

HAHAHAH this post is the awesomes!!! God, somebody kill me! :P

angeles said...

LOL... really weird ppl out there.. the last one, maybe he's worried abt getting fat.. thats why need to check how many calories haha

Zubli Zainordin said...

Won't some love keywords...

EdiÁ•ě said...

good ah!

weldone!

sooi2 said...

"10 year old orgasm" is also another WTF! Pedo reading ur blog??

pavlova said...

goodness zewt... what has happened to your blog? :P
all sorts of tom dick & harry coming through eh?

Theodwyn said...

A very amusing post!!! Especially the last one! Sounds like its from one of those paranoid skinnies who measure everything they eat and excrete, including how much their wee and their poo and their vomit weigh..

Jemima said...

One day, you'll probably come across.. "Zewt for PM". :p

iamthewitch said...

Haha you just made me smile for the day! Seriously, the things that people search for! And I'm REALLY surprised why it has anything to do with your blog. Hmmm... *deep thoughts* :P

Kimmy said...

This really puts a smile today :) esp Friday! Have a great weekend ahead!

zewt said...

myop101 - yup... what a blast...

Spinzer - hahaha... glad you like it.

angeles - maybe he wanted to get fat?.... that's the reason he went for it... or more.

Zubli Zainordin - well, we do... we certainly do.

Edi - thanks :)

zewt said...

sooi2 - i wouldnt suspect otherwise...

pavlova - well, due to overdose of sexual content a while ago. well, once in a while... i do spice up AZAIG.

Theodwyn - or maybe he wanna gain weight... a reason to 'eat' more.

Jemima - hahahaha... i havent even got started.

iamthewitch - u will need to run through some zewt laugh achieve :)

Kimmy - same to you...

Anonymous said...

Must be you, attract all that sort of people! Mine, the keywords all food-related (Now u can guess who l am?)! LOL!!

evelynholic said...

WUKAKAKAKAKKAKAKA.. dang!! KAKAKAKAKA cannot stop laughing.. omg, calories in clit juice wujakakakaka...

Siew said...

LOL... this is absurdingly entertaining.

Terra Shield said...

That was funny gila! Thanks for the laughs... :)

-Princess Shin- said...

Ewwww... calories? That guy must be having a lot of action. Or can be a girl too..

Super weird..

lovegoddess said...

*_* sex will always b one of d top universal searches in d net

but calories from clit juice?? ee..

zewt said...

anon @ 7/11 9.28am - can i conclude that you're the fella whom i called for directions to 4 seasons that day?

evelynholic - dont laugh, maybe your husband secretly searched for it :P

siew - absurdly entertaining... now, that's quite an adjective.

terra shield - my pleasure. i mean the laugh.

-princess shin- - that's right... could be a girl. who knows?

lovegoddess - yeah, i would consider that a health search hahah!

blackjack said...

After a week of debate and american politics, this is very refreshing. hahahahahahaha....

Huei said...

hahahhaha

certainly a great laugh for a friday evening!

but..how did they come to ur blog?? any signs where these lands? ;P

dammit! must be damn fun to work in google search engine department!
hahahahahhaha

Manal said...

There must be something weird in this ZEWT name!

pah nur said...

"how to ask a girl to hump you"...?
Bad news..you need balls to do that. If you ain't got the balls...may as well indulge in "DIY" self help books...or, go watch movies like "Forrest Hump"

Of coz size matters!! Watsa matter with that person who asked? Need one wonder? It's simple..one needs to trigger the G-spot. If it's big, how can it miss any spot!!!

"Ask ghost for sex"..I have a feeling it's the Muslim asking the question...at least the JAIS cannot nab anyone having sex with a ghost...so far there is no such law addressing that..

Angie Tan said...

LOL!!! Ok... We've got horny people who are concerned about their health after all? (",)

It can't be helped.. Sex drive is built into our primitive brain, same with drive for hunger and survival modes. However, our higher brain should control this... Looks like some folks out there lack a higher brain?? (^.')

gina said...

Wah.. wanna eat juice also have to count the calories ah? LOL! Must be some health freak.

myop101 said...

waah... I am using my iPod touch to test this... Hehe...I am quite impress me

Life for Beginners said...

*FAINTED at last keyword search*

What's that, some health freak who has a thing for going down on his girlfriend? Ai-yai-yai... :P

kyh said...

HAHAHHAHHAAA thx for the good luff! :P

jam said...

Very funny! Since when your blog turns into kind of sexual blog, haha!

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

wat kind of words do YOU have on ur blog to have your entries pop up when they search the above ar..hahaha

zewt said...

blackjack - haha... many tend to agree eh?

huei - of cos lah, have blogged about once night standsa and orgasm before mah. not to mention those gym experiences hahahaha....

manal - must be :P

pah nur - hey there. welcome to AZAIG. you certainly have reasoning for those keywords eh? forrest hump.... hahahahahah!!

angie tan - hahaha.. higher brain... not many ppl have it.

gina - hahaha... tell me about it.

myop101 - enjoy...

life for beginners - hahaha... yeah, when i saw that, i just knew i had found the punch line.

kyh - no worries :)

jam - got a bit here and there lah....

constantly craving joe - well, plenty if you recall what i have written :)