Found this in my inbox:-
The financial crisis has finally hit Japan…
In the last few days, Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly-up while Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some branches.
This follows by Karaoke Bank being up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares today in Kamikaze Bank was suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbanks and Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit and will remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff in Karate Bank are going to get the chop and analysts report that there is something going on in Sushi Bank where it is feared that something fishy is going on and staff may get a raw deal.
Original addition by Zewt:
Last but not least, Yamate-Yamate Bank has ceased on penetration attempts into new market.
P/S: Zewt has got nothing against Japan. It’s all for a good laugh.
P/S/S: Any AZAIG reader currently residing in Perth? Plan to make a trip there.
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
Different breed, different reaction
Regular AZAIG readers will know I once blogged about how modern slaves have morphed into different species. And just to recap the main characteristics of the respective breed…
The True Slaves Generation --- Aged 35 and above… heavily infected with the I-must-work-hard-and-die-for-the-company virus… hard work is the only way to success… work is life… never dare to say no to the bosses / company.
The Transitional Generation --- aged 24 – 34… stuck in between the need to work hard to support a lifestyle and the need not to work hard to have lifestyle… constantly complain about the bosses / company and vow to resign but will never get around doing it… severely suffering from the I-have-no-choice syndrome…
The New Breed --- mainly offspring of successful urbanites… salary means additional pocket money… overtime is not in their vocabulary… teach them the meaning of overtime and they will teach you how to break the world record for the quickest resignation in the company.
The gap between these 3 generations of slaves is getting more apparent judging by their reaction to certain things. Let me tell you a real-life scenario…
The company gives out a small promotion gift...
True Slaves – “Wahhh… so nice… so lovely. I really like it. Quick, go get yours”
Transitional Generation – “What??? Such a big company and give us this!! So damn cheapskate lah this company!”
New Breed – [no comment available, did not collect the gift]
Really, the reaction can be quite hilarious. Particularly when a Transitional Generation has to respond to the excessive happiness shown by the True Slaves, who most likely are the bosses.
In the light of the current economic turmoil, would the reactions from the respective breed be like this?
I
n response to the company’s announcement that the company is strong and doing extremely well despite the current bad patch…
True Slaves – “See… I told you right… our company very strong wan. No need to worry la”. Proceed to another individual and repeat the same thing. Then proceed to another… and another… and another…
Transitional Generation – “Yeah right. You think I am stupid ah? I read the news ok!” Continue complaining…
New Breed – “What economic turmoil? What’s going on at the moment ah?”
In response to the company’s announcement that there might not be bonus at the end of the year…
True Slaves – “We should be happy that we still have job”
Transitional Generation – “What the !&*!@%!$@^%$!@^%!. Surely the big boss took all the bonus lah”
New Breed – “Daddy, where are we going for our year end holiday?”
Indeed, we have morphed well…
The True Slaves Generation --- Aged 35 and above… heavily infected with the I-must-work-hard-and-die-for-the-company virus… hard work is the only way to success… work is life… never dare to say no to the bosses / company.The Transitional Generation --- aged 24 – 34… stuck in between the need to work hard to support a lifestyle and the need not to work hard to have lifestyle… constantly complain about the bosses / company and vow to resign but will never get around doing it… severely suffering from the I-have-no-choice syndrome…
The New Breed --- mainly offspring of successful urbanites… salary means additional pocket money… overtime is not in their vocabulary… teach them the meaning of overtime and they will teach you how to break the world record for the quickest resignation in the company.
The gap between these 3 generations of slaves is getting more apparent judging by their reaction to certain things. Let me tell you a real-life scenario…
The company gives out a small promotion gift...
True Slaves – “Wahhh… so nice… so lovely. I really like it. Quick, go get yours”
Transitional Generation – “What??? Such a big company and give us this!! So damn cheapskate lah this company!”
New Breed – [no comment available, did not collect the gift]
Really, the reaction can be quite hilarious. Particularly when a Transitional Generation has to respond to the excessive happiness shown by the True Slaves, who most likely are the bosses.
In the light of the current economic turmoil, would the reactions from the respective breed be like this?
I
n response to the company’s announcement that the company is strong and doing extremely well despite the current bad patch…True Slaves – “See… I told you right… our company very strong wan. No need to worry la”. Proceed to another individual and repeat the same thing. Then proceed to another… and another… and another…
Transitional Generation – “Yeah right. You think I am stupid ah? I read the news ok!” Continue complaining…
New Breed – “What economic turmoil? What’s going on at the moment ah?”
In response to the company’s announcement that there might not be bonus at the end of the year…
True Slaves – “We should be happy that we still have job”
Transitional Generation – “What the !&*!@%!$@^%$!@^%!. Surely the big boss took all the bonus lah”
New Breed – “Daddy, where are we going for our year end holiday?”
Indeed, we have morphed well…
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Are they really safe?
Looks like the Melamine alert has died out. Most of us are pretty convinced that the dairy products in this country are entirely free from contamination, except for those really delicious white rabbit creamy candy which most of us loved.
Honestly, I am still sceptical about the so-called “all clear” given by our very own Ministry of Health. I remember 2 years ago, there were news report saying bread in our market has got some toxic and it was given the “all-clear” within a number of days. It just doesn’t quite make sense, to me at least.
Besides lacking confidence in them, I am also rather reserve about the quality of our food, generally speaking. Make no mistake; melamine was found in milk products in China not because it was discovered by the health officials. It was discovered because babies there started falling sick and they arrived at the common source, their diet.
But then again, you can't blame the health officials. Why?
Say, if you send your blood to the lab for test, they probably test for your kidney function, liver function, cholesterol, cancer marker and so on and so forth. Nobody in the world will test your blood for say… sperm. Because it just doesn’t make sense. But could there be sperm in our blood? Who knows?
Similarly, when they send the milk for contamination test, the health officials would most probably check for bacteria, fungus or virus. They might just check for human sperm just in case someone got too excited while milking the cows’ tits. But no one in the world will test milk for the presence of melamine.
It was only where people starting to fall sick that melamine contamination was detected. Please correct me if I am wrong.
I read in this blog that the famous (and delicious) Ma-Ling luncheon meat has been banned in Singapore as cancer-causing antibiotic was found in it.
Well, would you agree with me if I say quite a number of foodstuff in our shelves, particularly those processed ones, have got some form of dangerous substance or another? It may be clear from virus, fungus, bacteria or cancer-causing antibiotics, but what about a whole lot of other harmful chemicals?
How sure are we that if they were to test for melamine, mercury or some other toxic in say… our bread and it’s 100% free? After all, prior to this, no one in the world expect to find melamine in milk.
P/S: Don’t worry, I don’t think the milk you drink contains sperm.
Honestly, I am still sceptical about the so-called “all clear” given by our very own Ministry of Health. I remember 2 years ago, there were news report saying bread in our market has got some toxic and it was given the “all-clear” within a number of days. It just doesn’t quite make sense, to me at least.
Besides lacking confidence in them, I am also rather reserve about the quality of our food, generally speaking. Make no mistake; melamine was found in milk products in China not because it was discovered by the health officials. It was discovered because babies there started falling sick and they arrived at the common source, their diet.But then again, you can't blame the health officials. Why?
Say, if you send your blood to the lab for test, they probably test for your kidney function, liver function, cholesterol, cancer marker and so on and so forth. Nobody in the world will test your blood for say… sperm. Because it just doesn’t make sense. But could there be sperm in our blood? Who knows?
Similarly, when they send the milk for contamination test, the health officials would most probably check for bacteria, fungus or virus. They might just check for human sperm just in case someone got too excited while milking the cows’ tits. But no one in the world will test milk for the presence of melamine.
It was only where people starting to fall sick that melamine contamination was detected. Please correct me if I am wrong.
I read in this blog that the famous (and delicious) Ma-Ling luncheon meat has been banned in Singapore as cancer-causing antibiotic was found in it.Well, would you agree with me if I say quite a number of foodstuff in our shelves, particularly those processed ones, have got some form of dangerous substance or another? It may be clear from virus, fungus, bacteria or cancer-causing antibiotics, but what about a whole lot of other harmful chemicals?
How sure are we that if they were to test for melamine, mercury or some other toxic in say… our bread and it’s 100% free? After all, prior to this, no one in the world expect to find melamine in milk.
P/S: Don’t worry, I don’t think the milk you drink contains sperm.
Monday, 13 October 2008
3 comparisons, 1 interview, 2 awards
Jules went to a health exhibition yesterday and the nutritionist who gave a talk there gave her 3 comparisons…
Apparently, smoking a single cigarette is like burning away the nutrition that you get from eating 60 oranges.
You think that is bad? Well… eating a packet of instant noodles actually required 90 days of detox before your body can get rid of all those preservatives and chemicals. It’s a good thing I have only eaten maggi mee once in the last 9 months.
Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world. I am sure most of you will like the 3rd comparison. There is this thing called inflammatory agent which is bad for the body, said to be a cancer causing agent. And… between a roasted skinless chicken breast and roasted lean pork… roasted lean pork (focus on the word “lean”) has got more anti-inflammatory agent.
Anyway, I had an interview today with a journalist from a new local IT magazine. Why do people like to ask “Are you afraid to be ISA?” when they interview me? This is the second time I am being
asked this question. I guess blogging is indeed a dangerous interest in this country. Anyway… do look out for me in this new magazine called “Surf”… hehe…
AZAIG would like to say a big thank you to Mar for the “Brillante Weblog 2008 Award” and to U-Jean for the “Butterfly Award”.
So… ‘siew yok’ anyone?
Apparently, smoking a single cigarette is like burning away the nutrition that you get from eating 60 oranges.
You think that is bad? Well… eating a packet of instant noodles actually required 90 days of detox before your body can get rid of all those preservatives and chemicals. It’s a good thing I have only eaten maggi mee once in the last 9 months.
Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world. I am sure most of you will like the 3rd comparison. There is this thing called inflammatory agent which is bad for the body, said to be a cancer causing agent. And… between a roasted skinless chicken breast and roasted lean pork… roasted lean pork (focus on the word “lean”) has got more anti-inflammatory agent.
Anyway, I had an interview today with a journalist from a new local IT magazine. Why do people like to ask “Are you afraid to be ISA?” when they interview me? This is the second time I am being
asked this question. I guess blogging is indeed a dangerous interest in this country. Anyway… do look out for me in this new magazine called “Surf”… hehe…AZAIG would like to say a big thank you to Mar for the “Brillante Weblog 2008 Award” and to U-Jean for the “Butterfly Award”.
So… ‘siew yok’ anyone?
Sunday, 12 October 2008
Maybe... just maybe...
My friend who works in the treasury division pointed out something very peculiar to me. If you have been paying attention to the currency and market movement around the world, you might just agree with what our second finance minister so proudly proclaimed last week; that our country is not, and will not fall into a recession.
Indeed, our very own stock market has plunged below the 1,000 points barrier. “But it’s only around 3%”, that’s what my friend said. 8% - 12%, that’s the average drop in the stock market across the globe. Dow Jones, what is arguably the heartbeat of all stock market, has plunged from 11,000 points to 8,500 points in 8 days.
What make our very own Bursa Malaysia so strong?
The reason why the stock markets are tumbling is simply because all the “investors” and fund managers just dump their shares into the market to get back their cash. I know of a fer overseas fund managers who just sold their portfolio and went to the pub and drink their sorrows away, during working hours.
So are they not dumping their Malaysian shares? Or… is there no foreign holding in our stock market? Words are going around that all the foreign investors have sold all their Malaysian shares after the 8 March tsunami.
So, if the foreign fund managers are all gone, who is holding our shares?
Our stock market is quite peculiar indeed. You can have 200+ counters falling and yet, the index can rise. That is because, in order to push the index, you just need to make sure a few counters perform well. So who is sustaining the market by keep buying all these index linked counters? Certainly not foreign funds. Ask around, and you’ll know. It might just be your money.
Of course, one can always say the above are all a load of bull and the reason why our Bursa is still strong (index wise) is because our beloved country is actually a damn strong country. Regardless of the extreme diarrhoea currently seen in the price of crude petrol and palm oil, the bread and butter of our country, we are still very rich.
And top that with highly capable leaders, recession will never come to our shores; just like melamine tainted products also never hit our shores. Milk of a particular brand can fail the melamine test in Hong Kong and yet, our papers can just squashed all the “rumours” by saying “xxx tidak mengandungi susu dari China”. Apparently these companies do not use cheap china based milk but expensive milk from Australia. Would you believe it……
Well, maybe our country is actually very strong. Maybe our country product quality control is really top notch. We just can't build roof and roads properly… that’s all. Maybe… just maybe…
Indeed, our very own stock market has plunged below the 1,000 points barrier. “But it’s only around 3%”, that’s what my friend said. 8% - 12%, that’s the average drop in the stock market across the globe. Dow Jones, what is arguably the heartbeat of all stock market, has plunged from 11,000 points to 8,500 points in 8 days.What make our very own Bursa Malaysia so strong?
The reason why the stock markets are tumbling is simply because all the “investors” and fund managers just dump their shares into the market to get back their cash. I know of a fer overseas fund managers who just sold their portfolio and went to the pub and drink their sorrows away, during working hours.
So are they not dumping their Malaysian shares? Or… is there no foreign holding in our stock market? Words are going around that all the foreign investors have sold all their Malaysian shares after the 8 March tsunami.
So, if the foreign fund managers are all gone, who is holding our shares?
Our stock market is quite peculiar indeed. You can have 200+ counters falling and yet, the index can rise. That is because, in order to push the index, you just need to make sure a few counters perform well. So who is sustaining the market by keep buying all these index linked counters? Certainly not foreign funds. Ask around, and you’ll know. It might just be your money.
Of course, one can always say the above are all a load of bull and the reason why our Bursa is still strong (index wise) is because our beloved country is actually a damn strong country. Regardless of the extreme diarrhoea currently seen in the price of crude petrol and palm oil, the bread and butter of our country, we are still very rich.And top that with highly capable leaders, recession will never come to our shores; just like melamine tainted products also never hit our shores. Milk of a particular brand can fail the melamine test in Hong Kong and yet, our papers can just squashed all the “rumours” by saying “xxx tidak mengandungi susu dari China”. Apparently these companies do not use cheap china based milk but expensive milk from Australia. Would you believe it……
Well, maybe our country is actually very strong. Maybe our country product quality control is really top notch. We just can't build roof and roads properly… that’s all. Maybe… just maybe…
Thursday, 9 October 2008
The Chronicles of Hole and Pole
With so many things happening around the world, there are actually quite a number of things that I would like to write about. But then again, it’s always good to take some time off to relax and have a good laugh, particularly when the weekend is near, right?
A year ago I wrote about “The other Newton 3 laws of motion”. And during an e-mail chat with some of my colleagues a while ago, I mentioned to them about the second law under “The other Newton 3 laws of motion” which reads:
When a pole is put into a hole
The result is a new soul
Of either a hole of a pole
This actually sparked off amongst us with this second law being twisted and modified in all ways possible. Jane’s (not her real name) reply to the above was:
When a pole speaks about a hole
All intellectual activities are put on hold
It’s a fact that we all know
Men are always boys who will never grow
To which I replied:
Even for boys who didn’t grow
His pole is enough to produce new soul
Don’t believe?
Go try and you’ll know
I have actually forgotten who made the reply to the above but the fun continued with:
Without a hole, a pole cannot produce new soul
And if the pole doesn’t grow
The pole will have hard times finding new holes
I don’t know what has gotten into us that day but the reply just kept coming:
North Pole South Pole
They all need a good hole
But some holes have to pay toll
Before the pole gets the hole
But while others prefer asshole
But all in all, it’s good for the soul
So let’s wait not for the bell to toll
And get on with the common goal
Finally, I made the final reply to the e-mail conversation with:
Sorry but when it comes to asshole
I will have to say no no no
Though hole is indeed our common goal
I prefer to keep shit off my pole
Who says accountants are square?
A year ago I wrote about “The other Newton 3 laws of motion”. And during an e-mail chat with some of my colleagues a while ago, I mentioned to them about the second law under “The other Newton 3 laws of motion” which reads:
When a pole is put into a holeThe result is a new soul
Of either a hole of a pole
This actually sparked off amongst us with this second law being twisted and modified in all ways possible. Jane’s (not her real name) reply to the above was:
When a pole speaks about a hole
All intellectual activities are put on hold
It’s a fact that we all know
Men are always boys who will never grow
To which I replied:
Even for boys who didn’t grow
His pole is enough to produce new soul
Don’t believe?
Go try and you’ll know
I have actually forgotten who made the reply to the above but the fun continued with:
Without a hole, a pole cannot produce new soul
And if the pole doesn’t grow
The pole will have hard times finding new holes
I don’t know what has gotten into us that day but the reply just kept coming:North Pole South Pole
They all need a good hole
But some holes have to pay toll
Before the pole gets the hole
But while others prefer asshole
But all in all, it’s good for the soul
So let’s wait not for the bell to toll
And get on with the common goal
Finally, I made the final reply to the e-mail conversation with:
Sorry but when it comes to asshole
I will have to say no no no
Though hole is indeed our common goal
I prefer to keep shit off my pole
Who says accountants are square?
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
And you think everything is still hunky dory
I have said earlier that all those big investment banks should just be left to die but some tend to disagree. Did you know that the former CEO of Lehmann Brothers, the world’s oldest investment bank, pocketed US$480m before the company filed for bankruptcy? And this includes some US$20m+ in bonus just months before the collapse. Was it done on purpose?
Do a quick google around and you will see that people working in Lehmann Brothers are paid on an average of US$300,000 per annum. Tell me, why should the govt (though not our govt) bail all these people? Should the world save the rich just to keep the economy going?
This is why in the latest banking bail out talk in London, the UK govt has made it clear that “chief executives will not be paid huge bonuses”. Oh yes… looks like Europe has just joined the world financial crisis bandwagon as talks about banking industry bail out sparked in London today.
Are we staring at the worst economic downturn the world has ever seen? Nah… rilek-lah… we are not Singaporeans who are kiasu and kiasi… we are Malaysians… we Malaysia boleh… just look around and you will see people still going ‘yum char’ at Coffee Bean and people hanging around in Pavilion swiping credit cards like nobody’s business.
And while we are at it, what are our leaders doing?
The top guy announced that he will step down in March next year and I wonder whether our current finance minister will be using his brain power to sustain the economy or whether he will concentrate all his might to secure the top post. What say you?
Isn’t our people and country wonderful…
Do a quick google around and you will see that people working in Lehmann Brothers are paid on an average of US$300,000 per annum. Tell me, why should the govt (though not our govt) bail all these people? Should the world save the rich just to keep the economy going?
This is why in the latest banking bail out talk in London, the UK govt has made it clear that “chief executives will not be paid huge bonuses”. Oh yes… looks like Europe has just joined the world financial crisis bandwagon as talks about banking industry bail out sparked in London today.
Are we staring at the worst economic downturn the world has ever seen? Nah… rilek-lah… we are not Singaporeans who are kiasu and kiasi… we are Malaysians… we Malaysia boleh… just look around and you will see people still going ‘yum char’ at Coffee Bean and people hanging around in Pavilion swiping credit cards like nobody’s business.And while we are at it, what are our leaders doing?
The top guy announced that he will step down in March next year and I wonder whether our current finance minister will be using his brain power to sustain the economy or whether he will concentrate all his might to secure the top post. What say you?
Isn’t our people and country wonderful…
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