In the light of the recent increase in dosage of ‘sensitive’ entries in AZAIG, someone asked me if I am afraid. While I don’t really consider those entries of mine senstive, I have to admit, I do have a considerable amount of fear. Well, don’t we all? Just ask yourself in the mirror whether you are one of those who scream in silence and have plenty to say but never got around saying it because you are afraid.
But hey… there is no need to feel guilty as being afraid has always been the tradition of the people…
Bring a migrant; my grandfather was afraid that his citizenship will be stripped if he was to talk too much. That’s what he told my dad, which explains why my dad is very concern about his citizen certificate. Yeah, during those times, they issue such document on top of identity card.
My dad also picked up this trait. He always tells me that he is afraid the dreaded 13 May will repeat itself. As such, he and his peers learnt to stay silent, just like grandfather, though the source of the fear is different.
Hence, this trait has also been passed to me. I am afraid that I will be ISA-ed, and as such, I should learn how to shut up. So you see, if you’re like me, there is no need to feel guilty. “Being afraid” has always been our way of life.
10 years down the road, let us all tell our children that we didn’t do anything because we were afraid. But doesn’t it make us wonder, that if we failed to reach grassy lands, what will our children be afraid of then…?
On a separate note, I will be on the look out for a colour as we commemorate our independence this Friday… a colour of hope. Yes, I will have to say it means nothing; it will most probably achieve nothing. But to me, it’s a matter of whether there is a glimmer of hope… or are we just afraid.
Someone sent me a mail today telling me about a particular call to go yellow. Just as I was about to finish reading it, my colleague who sits behind me asked…
“Are you going yellow?”
Nah… don’t think so, and I think you shouldn’t too. Why? Here is why…
One…
We’re not getting paid for it. Malaysians don’t do things for free.
Two…
We don’t want to be associated with he-who-shall-not-be-named because we got no balls. And I am not referring to Lord Voldermort you Harry Pothead junkie.
Three…
Yellow is not a cool colour. And imagine being in a sea of yellow, it’s just so not cool. We like to be different.
Four…
It won't make a difference.
Five…
We don’t want to make a difference cos things are just so brilliant now.
There you go… say no to yellow… don’t be a dirty fellow… ok? Cos i am not going to...Updated: Tingtitlei has also pointed out a few reasons not to do it.
On any given day, the most read piece of news in TheStar will usually sound something like “Girl abducted and raped”… “Woman raped while jogging”… “Teen held over the rape of under-age girl”… “Mat Rempit wild sex party”. Agree?
But no… not for today. The modern slaves from the accounting sector took centre stage today. And I must say, it’s a pretty good piece of news. It is something which is becoming increasingly prevalent, particularly in the last few years and from what I heard, those big bosses from the Big 4 accounting firms actually held a closed door meeting together (mind you, they are rivals) to discuss integrated measures to protect their territory.
For years, such accounting firms in Malaysia, by taking leverage on their “reputation”, have lured countless souls into giving up their most valuable part of their lives to pursue a dream that often ends up in nightmares. These souls are often given a take-it-or-leave-it offer and strange enough, most of them (including me), will willingly sign on the most deceiving document of all. True, some of us managed to live our dreams, but not without much sacrifices, some of which may be too great a price to pay.
Having being brain-washed into believing that being in such glamorous accounting firms are the try and tested way to success, all these souls, who are now officially slaves are often led to believe that they must work their ass off for a puny salary purely because they cannot gain the supposedly valuable experience somewhere else.
Fortunately for the slaves… and unfortunately for the local accounting firms, the fact that the world is getting flatter and people are getting more and more mobile means modern slaves in the accounting world can now ply their slave-hood somewhere else… in countries that will pay more and in some countries… less work too!
On the average, a senior consultant, or whatever glamour name which these firms give will someone who has been a slave for 3 – 4 years will earn between RM3,000 to RM4,500 per month in Malaysia, if you perform. Mind you, this is the salary range of the so called BIG 4 accounting firms. Maybe it’s quite a good pay to you but if you have to work an average of 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, it can kill.
The same senior consultant can leave and work in China for the exact same pay… the only difference… the currency is US$, why not? Even if the hours are the same, why not? And if one moves to the UK or Australia (which is the current trend), working hours are reduced significantly.
It’s interesting to note this part…
Reading that, I can't help but think that accountants in Malaysia are the lowest paid slaves in the region, taking into consideration the amount of work put in. But you know what’s worse? All these big firms will keep telling us that we are highly paid.
Well… continue with such attitude, the extinction will just come faster that you can possibly imagine.
A few months ago, I blogged about a girl who dropped dead in Singapore due to excessive over-time and the story of that girl was circulated amongst my colleagues. One of them was brave enough to print out the article and put it up in our department’s notice board. What do you think was everyone’s reaction?
We laughed, not openly of course. We all applauded that colleague’s courage and then laughed about it, saying that it’s an indirect message to the management. Everyone who saw that piece of news on the notice board will put on a cheeky smile and walk away. But what was the real intention of putting it up? For us to laugh, or to actually tell us something? We chose the latter. I wonder if you will actually find it funny if such thing actually happen to someone you know, or perhaps even yourself.
Did you find it funny?
A kid was reported dead due to his motorcycle accident with a… ‘pothole’. Me and my friends were talking about it and before you know it, we were sharing our experience with potholes and one thing led to another, we were laughing at each other.
“Caused my rim to bengkok you know!”
(bengkok = crocked)
Did we realise that our roads are poorly maintained due to poor management? Did you laugh at it or see the root of the problem? I wonder… and of course, if you happen to be related to the victim, I am sure you will not find it funny.
Did you find it funny?
Someone pointed me to this piece of news and I started to let some of my colleagues and friends know. Some of the initial comments include “Die lor, means no more bak kut teh, how ah?” … “Good lor, can have 4 wives”… and of course, everyone started to laugh about it. I wonder if we will laugh about it if it comes into reality. When we do have to face it, I wonder if we have the mood to crack more jokes.
Did you find it funny?
Hey… I do!! I am still alive despite being a modern slave so what my colleague did was quite cheeky. It was funny. I drive a car so encounters with potholes are not really fatal. And I have a job, living a comfortable life plus I can afford to repair any damages caused by poor road maintenance. What’s the fuss about poor road maintenance? Maybe 4 wives isn’t such a good idea, economically speaking but hey… I am sure some of us are rich enough to afford such, no?
Yeah, when things have no hit us yet, I guess it’s pretty funny after all. 
On a separate note, what was your reaction when you read last Friday’s entry? I am sure most of you found it to be hilarious, no? I am certainly one of them. Some of you probably thought it was stupid to drink and f**k. Yeah, that is probably the lesson from that tale. Nevertheless, you will probably not find it funny if that story hit some nerves in you. You might even find that offensive if you can somehow associate yourself to the victim (not the guy). Of course, if you happen to be the victim, you will certainly be disgusted.
I truly admire those who might have been offended but yet to choose the funny side of it, you know who you are. I guess being to see the funny side of things does have its advantages.
Finally, the end of the week is here. It has been hell for me since I was on leave the whole of last week so I was suffering from maximum withdrawal syndrome for the whole of this week. So it’s good that Friday is here.
Speaking of Friday, what do you guys do on a typical Friday night? Brave through the jam and queue for movie tickets? Drinks at some of the posh bar? Clubbing and hope to get lucky? Oh, about getting lucky, how many of you think one night stand is a rare thing in this country? One of my friend said it’s pretty common, and he said something really hilarious happened to his friend’s friend.
Let me tell you the story of my friend’s friend’s friend (“FFF”)…
This FFF was out in this particular club one night, apparently at one of the ‘meat market’ in town. Ya’ know, where the girls are out to get picked. Because it was his first time, he had to indulge 
himself in quite a huge amount of alcohol to garner enough courage to make his move. After a sufficient dosage of hard liquor, he identified his target and made his move.
FFF was really lucky, all he did was to say “hi”, introduced himself, buy that girl a drink and she was all over him already. Maybe this FFF is a charming guy, a total hunk, I dunno. He brought his conquest back to his table and bid his friends farewell for the night. His mates, who were also intoxicated with quite a heavy dosage of alcohol, were in total awe.
So off he went… as soon as he entered the room, the kissing started and groping followed and before you know it, the clothes were all started the come off. Within minutes, they were on the bed humping away. Actually, that was actually me trying to be imaginative, I wasn’t revealed the details. All I know was they f**cked a couple of times, till they both dropped dead and slumbered into the night.
Half way through the night, as the effect of the alcohol began to ease, FFF was soon slowly but surely coming to sober. As soon as he recalled what just happened, a smile came to his face and as soon as he turned over to admire his conquest with his sober mind … in the exact words my friend said to me…
“Waaahhhh!!!! Yi go fei h*i pin go lei gei?????”
(Waaahhhh!!!! who is this fat bitch?????)
It probably just hit FFF that perhaps he is the conquest, not supposed babe lying next to him then. He knew he had to get out of there before she wakes. So he slowly picked up his clothes and immediately put on his underwear to protect his tool, fearing that he might be raped if she wakes.
Fully clothed, he made his way out in the most silent manner ever. But just as he was about to leave the premise… and again, in the exact words said to me…
“TIIIUUUUUUUU LORRRRR!!!! Yi kan mai hai ngo ouk kei????!!!!!
(F**********CK!!!! This is my home!!!!!!)
My friend said he doesn’t know the conclusion… Do you have any hilarious tales to share?
Happy weekend everyone. I will be out of town.
P/S: Would really like to know who is the Grace who always link me in kinja.
P/S/S: Also would like to have a peep at some locked blogs from where readers arrive at AZAIG such as “vonmouledv2 @ blogspot” and “lorainnelee @ blogspot”.
I think I am going to listen to what most of you said, going to let this Namewee off the hook, not going to talk about him anymore. Heck, I don’t even wanna have anything to do with him. After all, it’s not like he is some celebrity like Gwen Stefani who is in town. And of course, we’re already getting bored with the same ‘ol shit. We all like things hot, out of the oven… like the national tragedy a few weeks ago, or was it last week. No point talking about outdated stuff right? So yeah, won't talk about him anymore. By the way, what’s with the fuss about some Nuri crash?
Why talk about someone who acted beyond his means? He should have just shut up and live his life, then he wouldn’t have got himself in so much trouble. Yeah, our country is pretty screwed up here and there but who cares? I certainly don’t. Do you? I have a job, I got a car, I can still go shopping and life is all good, why complain? Yeah, petrol is expensive, toll everywhere but heck, you and I can afford to pay still right? Why go and stupidly do a rap about the things that you and I talk about at the mamak every week?
Speaking about things we talked about at the mamak, those are the things that somehow make our ‘teh tarik’ and ‘maggi goreng’ taste better. We talked about it, complain a bit, as soon as we flush the ‘the tarik’ down our throat, all our frustrations are also flushed down our guts. After all, we have been swallowing all these things for years. What’s the big deal right?
Okay, I know… maybe things have been getting out of hands lately. But heck… things have always been getting out of hands, it’s just a matter whether you know it or not. What you don’t know won't hurt you. Ignorance is bliss… if you’re not happy with things; don’t go around reading blogs written by ‘goblok’ fellas or cowards. Best remedy is to read comics mainstream newspaper… then you will know the big boss said he wants to be fair and will be fair… damn good news right? Precisely… just be happy and live our life… don’t go around doing some stupid act like this Namewee.
And most important of all, we certainly don’t want to be seen to be having some sort of connection with this Namewee fella. I mean… he is now the national villain, akin to the most wanted man in the country. What if they think we are Namewee’s associates, we’ll be screwed too! We might also get our citizenship revoked! After all, anything is possible in this country. Okay… right… maybe some of us don’t really bother about our citizenship cos we don’t give a damn about our voting rights but still… what if they ISA him and we get ISA-ed too! Shit!
There you go, so many reasons not to talk about this dude anymore. Besides, by the end of this month, he might be forgotten already. Unless of course there’s another screw up somewhere and the comics newspaper needs to divert our attention again.
So Namewee, you’re on your own… none of us is going to walk with you. Your effort is worth the laugh, and that’s as good as it gets. We are too comfortable with our life and too patriotic to get our hands dirty. You should have just shut the f*ck up and stomach all the shit we have been given… just like us… we’ve been doing it for years.
P/S: Have you voted at the new poll or not? That’s the least you can do la…
When there is a snatch theft incident… it’s the victim’s fault for not being vigilant enough.
When someone focused a camera on some woman’s skirt… it’s the woman’s fault for wearing a skirt.
When someone got raped… it’s the victim’s fault for walking alone in broad daylight.
When there is a flash flood… it’s the rain’s fault for coming earlier than expected.
When unemployment rate is high… it’s the graduates’ fault.
When the haze is here… it’s Indonesia’s fault.
When there is a roof leakage… it’s the building’s fault for being old.
When there is a landslide or highway collapse… It’s God’s fault
When there is a bus accident… it’s the driver’s fault.
When an unapproved bus is let loose on the road… it’s the bus company’s fault.
When you lose in a badminton match to a lower ranked player… it’s the coach’s fault.
For all other things… it’s Namewee’s fault.
