Thursday, 22 October 2009

Sex and the office

Since corporate slavery and life in the professional world have been the notion of AZAIG of late, I reckon it would be interesting to look at the sexciting side of it for instalment of Friday Frolics. The title is enough to entice you, isn’t it?

Indeed, there are many sexciting stories that float around when I was in one of the big-4 firm. The most famous was about this particular partner (boss of a professional firm) in this particular firm who would always ask sweet young juniors to clear issues with him in the middle of the night.

It will be done behind closed door and there are stories about how these sweet young juniors will come out with bra missing, panty missing, bra unclip, etc. etc. I did try to verify this with my friend who was working in that firm and he told me that it was true as he has witnessed it before.

I have also heard stories from this particular department where the shorter your skirt is, the faster your promotion will be. And this was relayed to me by a girl. Sexciting, isn’t it?

There was also one particular incident in my department when I was still there…

It involved this couple who just started going out. As the firm practises casual Friday, the girl was one who would “fong pun lap” (release half her boobs) and wear black G-string beneath a thin tight white pants on Fridays. So when this good looking hunk started going out with her, we were all speculating that they will “tiu do luin sai loong” (fuck till kingdom come).

Hey! It’s not a sexist remark as this sentiment was shared by both male and female colleague alike. And ya’ know what? They lived up to that expectation.

On a cosy afternoon during one particular peak period, someone found the lovebirds in the pantry; with the guy’s pants down. The girl was, well… hmmm……

To cut the long story short, the girl resigned and the guy followed suit after a few months, being victims to the don’t-eat-and-shit-at-the-same-place curse.

There are plenty of lonely souls, particularly auditors, in the professional accounting firms. Stuck in the office in the middle of the night while your bf/gf are sound asleep at home, and with your equally stressed and lonely colleague sitting next to you, that empty pantry or meeting room or quiet stairwell sure looks like a comfortable quickie getaway.

Have you heard of any?

I am sure some of you are wondering… has Zewt done anything sexciting in office? Well… I … now, why would I want to share with you… hehe…


2 years ago…
For richer or poorerIs smoking an addiction?

36 comments:

skc said...

Very sexciting, as a matter of fact, i thk it will be good for everyone to have office affair at least once in their life. They may come out bruised and battered, or fairytale ending. Either way, you are only young once and if u r gonna fcuk up somthing, better do it while ur stl young and can blame it on inexperience. A 40++ getting caught is a lot more damaging than a 20++...
As for your big 4 stories i've heard a lot too, but never from da participants, would be interesting to see if there are any 1 of ur readers here dare to own up,preferably a lady telling us how her dirty-manager 'performed' in the behind-close-door-clearing- issues
GRINNNNNNN

MKL said...

Oh, come on, Zewt, give us the real deal. Share some of your kinky stuff you did in the office, please? :P You can operate with false names.. just give us something, hehe :P

Jerine said...

Walau eh...your story make me feel so insecure now.

missironic said...

Wahh.. zewt, cheeky cheeky. Hahaha...

Really sexciting eh.. Wonder caught them in the act is a sight to behold or not! Hahahaha..

Have a good weekend! :D

Stormsea7 said...

why should you share with us? isn't that's the purpose of you blog? to share your experience with us! :D

Savvy Gal said...

never any juicy gossip for me at all..... : )

foongpc said...

I'm sure these kind of sexciting stuffs happen in the office all the time! And I think it will be more sexciting if you share with us your own stories : )

Jun said...

even if it's lonely, by no means it's a justifiable excuse to cross the line. but it's sure fun to read abt ur goss ;p

Ju-Lian said...

nothing to share wif u..... Here very big on Ethics and Sexual Harassement. One false move and you're dead. Lots of cases of Managers being reported to the Ethics office for Rascism, partiality and Hostility though. Poor guys just kena when they raise their voices a bit...

Pinknpurplelizard said...

Should call JAIS or the police, then u will have more fun in the office! LOL

Charged for khalwat and kelakuan yang tidak senonoh. Hahahahaha... Then boss can give warning letter to both after reviewing CCTV. This is too hilarious...

iamthewitch said...

Gosh this sounds very real and scary. I'm sure it will make couples with the other halves working as auditors feel very insecure!

Zuraida said...

Being a part of two out of 4 big $ firms before I join my current co - I so concur on this!

hahahahah!

zewt said...

skc - wow... must experienced at least once... now, that is something i have never heard before. yeah, let's see if anyone share their sexperience.

MKL - hah! from now on, if i share a story of another person, everyone will think it's me already, isnt it?

Jerine - sounds like someone is dating an auditor heh heh heh...

missironic - lucky for them, youtube was not famous then.

stormsea7 - haha... good one, but some things shall remain under the carpet.

Savvy Gal - sure? hmmm....

zewt said...

foongpc - i have done enough sharing, it's time for others to share :P

Jun - hmmm... wonder your sentiments will change after 10 years in the field :P

Ju-Lian - woah... doesnt sound like malaysia to me.

pinknpurplelizard - wooaah... out of context ni...

iamthewitch - you are not dating one, are you? check out zuraida's comment.

zuraida - ahhh... looks like you have a story to tell :P

Chindiana said...

now that you mention it, my ex was an auditor and after a coupla years after we broke up i found out she was seeing someone in the office while we were still dating.

hmmm......

Which firm you from dude? care to share? :P

Pauline Yap said...

sexciting? is it worth it?

~aSstHa~ said...

very interesting Zewt. I for one never
(a) worked in an audit firm altho i hv my fair share of late working hours; and
(b) do not condone in office romances.

Guess I've seen enough relationship blowing up in my colleagues faces and either of them hv to resign is really a pity. I'm a firm believer of not shitting in the same place I eat. Just feel like if I see my other half every-single-friggin-time I'm at work AND after work I'd die of boredom. Ppl should have time away from their other half. Only then we'll have more things to share about.

Owh and working with friends. Also a no no... tried a couple o times with Huntress and that too failed.. although not so bad that we couldn't stay friends after. But we agreed we can't work together. Lols.

charlemagne said...

after reading all the comments,luckily there r ppl dont like sexciting. because if everyone like it,then it's hard for the maniac to take part. LOL~~~well,either they cant play the game or they r too "holy". in the end,this is a little part of game in life. =) i wish i can have one day...im curious in most of thgs in life,yes!

j_yenn said...

sweet young juniors? fong pun lap? black g-string??

the old geezer i used to report to preferred a spastic plump female who could sweet-talk him anytime! personal choice and preference, I suppose...

Unicorn Girl said...

quickie in the office - nah - no one interesting but I did have a quickie in the garden seat at my home area - with my then foreign boyfren ( now ex already-lor ) .......heeheehee.

I am Princess Misha's Mum said...

hahaha . not only in audit department lar .. in corporate secretarial dept (in big 4) also ada this type of cases lar:)

:)

xabi said...

haha! hospital sexcapades also another big can of worms.

ZACL said...

You are deliberateoly titillating.

I can't think for the life of me, why people are prepared to place themselves in compromising positions, open to manipulation, blackmail and a very weakened working position. Any kicks are relatively short-lived. How sexist is your society?

Hell hath no wrath greater than a woman's scorn.

eiling lim said...

What a sexiting story but not enough juicy details. Anyways, I've always worked in a small office full with ladies and thus have not witnessed or heard of such scandalous affairs at the office. Hmm.. but there are something in life worth trying ie. having a quickie at the office in the middle of the night when everyone has left! But i still agree with the point no eat and shit at the same place.

The Envoy said...

Teehee. Offices are sexual pressure cookers. Flirting goes on between almost everyone of the opposite (or in some case the same) gender. From the young and trendy to the middle aged and married :)

Terra Shield said...

A lot of people are have dated/are married to ppl from the same company. Loneliness kills for some, perhaps...

Anonymous said...

this is a very interesting explanation on office romance.

http://www.examiner.com/x-3040-Life-in-the-Cubicle-Examiner~y2009m6d23-Dear-Dudley-Why-do-ugly-coworkers-seem-hot-at-the-office

Pinknpurplelizard said...

In my previous job, the assistant mgr and store mgr always masuk server room together to 'review CCTV footage'. And now they live together. Fishy ain't it.

Other staff used to go to the store room to 'arrange the stock' or 'put stock'. Hahahahaha....! This stopped when cameras were installed in the storerooms.

Office flings always end with trouble. But it is interesting goss for the ears and funny as can be. *grin*

Shaun said...

Why cant this auditors work faster and hence no need to work late?

hmmm

Anonymous said...

I also suspect my boss is tui-ing someone in the company. Wait til his hap-chou-king wife found out... that will be a big drama in this century.

plain jane said...

Hmmmm?? Strange but the auditors I came across in my line of work seemed like nerds. Maybe its all the numbers and the late hours that they are seriously deprived? So anything in skirt (literally) boleh wham bam thank you maam?? Skirt lah senang, angkat jer. Tak yah susah susah...

I had an ex-colleague who thought he was a drop dead gorgeous romeo (apparently notorious for hitting on anything that wears a skirt, even a tiang letrik) who tried to hit on me by giving me a ride in his BMW (konon lah)and thought I would get turned on by playing an xrated movie (ironically same pic as yr couple between the aisle)in the car.

What was he thinking? Geez....

plain jane said...

Hmmmm?? Strange but the auditors I came across in my line of work seemed like nerds. Maybe its all the numbers and the late hours that they are seriously deprived? So anything in skirt (literally) boleh wham bam thank you maam?? Skirt lah senang, angkat jer. Tak yah susah susah...

I had an ex-colleague who thought he was a drop dead gorgeous romeo (apparently notorious for hitting on anything that wears a skirt, even a tiang letrik) who tried to hit on me by giving me a ride in his BMW (konon lah)and thought I would get turned on by playing an xrated movie (ironically same pic as yr couple between the aisle)in the car.

What was he thinking? Geez....

zewt said...

Chindiana - hey dude... you got cheated! :P as for the one i was in... well, secret

Pauline Yap - to some, they even ended up in happily ever after...

~aSstHa~ - hahaha... so you cant make out and at the same time, work with friends... wah, a bit susah lah like that. then friends are just for hanging out only?

charlemagne - hahaha... do you still have the chance to do it?

j_yenn - hmmm... indeed, to each its own.:P

zewt said...

Unicorn Girl - ahhhh... that's really sexciting... no juicy details? haha...

I am princess misha's mum - looks like such sexciting stories are everywhere... :P

xabi - on call room! hah!

ZACL - my society can be real sexist, shamefully.

eiling lim - so i guess for you, it will be your bf up to your office for a sexcapade then...

The Envoy - same gender? ewwww!

zewt said...

Terra Shield - only if you allow it :)

Anon @ 25/10 8.56pm - hahaha... that was funny... lack of economical option.

pinknpurplelizard - you should get hold of the tape recording :P

Shaun - that would be boring :P

Anon @ 27/10 10.01am - hahaha... 6 goh tai fung siong.

plain jane - dont underestimate nerds, they can be a beast beneath the sheets... haha!hmmm... strange character hitting on you... very strange indeed...

www.salamanca-3d.com said...

This can't succeed in reality, that is what I think.