Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Loved vs Pampered vs Spoilt

A real life encounter…

I was at a restaurant a few years ago and sitting next to my table was this truly “blessed” kid. I reckon he was around 8 – 10 years old. His ears were shut with earphones connected to an iPod. At the same time, his eyes were glued to a PSP. Sitting next to him was a maid trying to feed him ice-cream. Occasionally, he will pause from his game and take sip from the milk-shake already on the table.

On the other side of the table was his mother who said (if I can still recall correctly)… “Boy, your burger cold already lah…” The prince just ignored her.

He may be 8 or 9 or 10, but he already had a tummy as big as a 40-year-old man. His specs were also thick for his age, though that is not uncommon nowadays. However, I don’t think his poor eyesight was due to over-reading judging from what I saw. Judgemental yes, but would you disagree with me?

I am also currently witnessing a close relative who has been showered with so much toys, he now needs a room just to house all his gadgets. Barely 3-years old, he is already demanding presents on a daily basis and is capable of operating the DVD player on his own. Hence, he will also demand new DVDs about 3 times a week. Pampered? Spoilt? Some call it “smart”. And I have not even gone in to details into other things he is capable of.

It is only natural that parents will want to provide the best for the children. I am not a father yet, and I know for a fact that I will want to give my children things I could not enjoy when I was young. However, I think there is a limit to things; and I sincerely hope I know how to control myself when the time comes.

On a related note, some of the “younger generation” have not been pleased as we working class people are seemed to be taking a sweep at them. In all honesty, I think most of us are in a way, referring to those who are obviously spoilt, oblivious to the current financial crisis, only know how to spend luxury goods, do not know the value of money and certainly those who don’t need to lift a single finger and money will just drop on their lap.

Are you one of those? Siapa yang makan cili, dialah yang rasa pedas. And if some of you claim that you respect and look up to us working class people, shouldn’t you pause and ponder why we take a sweep at you? And having said all that, I did mention that the generation condemnation cycle would probably keep going so you might just be in our shoes in 5 – 10 years time.

Finally, I have to say that it is indeed not a crime to be spoilt or spend if you have the means to do so. It’s good for the economy anyway. But I think it will not be right when pride steps in.

Just like how I always maintain that is it fine to be a
Type-A Chinese, i.e. those who do not know how to speak their mother tongue; but when a Chinese is proud that he/she doesn’t know how to speak Chinese (and there are such people by the way), then it is not right.

Similarly, when one is proud to be spoilt… when one is proud that one has never taken bus before… when one is proud that one only buys designer clothes… when one is proud that one can change handphone like one changes underwear… when one is proud that one only goes ‘mamak’ at Starbucks… and this one person has never earn a single dollar in one’s life before, then I think it’s not quite right.

But then again, to each its own…

50 comments:

missironic said...

As I get older, I kept on saying.."Kids nowadays, are really so damn lucky!" and ur real life encounter just prove that. i tink their parents are not doing rightly by showering them with over-expensive gifts at the young age. i feel, tis will make them not appreciative and thinks money comes easy. well, tats my opinion la... or probably im just jealous because when I was younger, my mum LOVES to tell me "NO" to almost everything I ask for. hahahaha....

anyhow, i havent become a parent yet, so i wudn't know how i'll treat my kids..so cant comment further.;)

but u're quite right when you tok abt being proud for the in-my-personal-humble-opinion-wrong-reasons things...i guess if wanna be proud also, see what is it. it's like.."mesti kena pada masa dan tempat", kind of ting. hahahaa...

Huei said...

ahh well..i see my cousin..way younger than me and carrying a digital camera (it was a big deal then..to me la at least)..sipping on her mother's wine

everywhere we go nowdays we see kids carrying around a PSP..buzy texting on phone or playing games..etc.etc.etc. well..those are spoilt!

anyway..those are parent's choice to spoil them. at the end of the day..they don't know the true value of money..thus they have no rights to say we working class are always complaining with the inflation. they don't know the economic situation and thus they have no rights to condemn!

hahah actually i am proud that i can't read/write chinese..because alot of people seem to "look down" on me on that but well..i am proud of who i am! (goes for malay as well)

Aoki said...

Hahaha!! I need to fwd your website to my sisters aging from19,17,15. They are not proud but they spend like nobody business especially my 2nd sister. Every alternate nights surely got friend's bday celebration... Crap man... When i tell them off, they say i am jealous! So what can i do except by fwding your blog to them :P Write more write more!!!

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

i suppose these ppl like me only truly know wat is the meaning of money, when they have to fund their own shopping with the money they earn..

bloody hell..i just went abit loose with the shopping..facing the consequences d..hahaha..

Alex Yap said...

Zewt

Recently you seems to be quite upset with how other parent bringing up their children. Can't help to agree with you.

Sometimes I wonder what will happen if their parent go bankcrupt? Can they survive through the hard time?

I do not enjoy those luxury when I was a kid. My parent never bought me any toys (as I can remember lar, we come from a very poor family). I revel in my childhood with marbles (which u can get 6 pieces with 10 cents), pictorial paper, bus ticket (ya no joke, we use the amount on the bus ticket to play banker and customer), sand and stone (jumping around in the 9-boxes thingy or aeroplane shape), lala's shells and mostly things that are not toys. I don't have iPod, PSP, xbox and etc. How lucky is the kids nowadays.

My daughter now start to demand for toys. But we tried to limit ourselves in getting new toys for her unless it is really cheap. Cheap in terms of like RM 5 for a set cooking toys. So far I don't recall that I bought any toys for my daughter that is worth more than RM 15. But we bought her a lot of story books.

Kids should learn that money does not come by itself but it comes from hardship of their parent.

So make sure you do not over pampered your kids when you become a father.

I hate PSP. I vow to myself that my kids CANNOT OWN PSP. I hate seeing kids walking around with their eyes glued to the PSP. I hate seeing kids glued their on the PSP while having meals. Kids should be more observant. When they go out they should observe things around them. Learn and ask when they do not understand. Not by playing PSP. Arghh .. PSP is so sinful.

Johnson Tee said...

zewt, I just don't see where this blog entry is going...

like you said in an earlier post, each older generation will inevitably compare the "luxuries" of the current generation with what they had at their time

what was deemed as a luxury at their time, could well have been a necessity during our time. the same will no doubt happen during our time as parents, looking at what the kids have and what we had

i consider myself very blessed to have great parents who gave me all the necessities and in between, some luxuries. their upbringing has no doubt made me understand the value of money and prudence.

on the other hand, you must appreciate that we are living in a period of unprecedented economic wealth (despite what has happened over the past few months). we have internet millionaires who are barely 21 years old and wealth creation has never been easier. the information age is upon us and staying connected is a way of life. we cannot deny or reject it but to roll with it.

is it appropriate to spoil our next generation with toys and food without teaching them the value of money? probably not.

what we can do is to learn from these example and as a parent, bring up our kids the right way and as you say, not spoil them

taxy said...

Your last sentence kinda cancelled out the rest of your post.

The way I see it, don't judge how other people deal with the raising of their own kids. If they choose to spoil them, it is neither right nor wrong. Rotten eggs tend to be discarded in the end, or cause the person who ate them to purge.

I just wonder... the thinking less of people who pride themselves for the material things they have... is that envy I sense in you?

Seaqueen said...

It comes with maturity and what we've learnt through life as it passes us by that we tend to see things in a different light from the younger generation. I find it no point keep nagging and pointing out how lucky they are. Once or twice is enough. When they're reached where we are, they'll look back and remember.

That's what I'm doing now. Remembering how my mum like your mum would say how fortunate I am compared to her when she was young. She didn't repeat it like a spoilt cassette but it sure did get engraved in my mind somehow.

anthraxxxx said...

hmmmm the kids playing psp thing kinda reminds me of a scene from Wall-E. The people were too busy noticing their surroundings although they are only few meters away from it because they were too preoccupied chatting 'online' while sitting on automated chairs that does every thing else for them.

-=SiN=- said...

“You guys are not under parent protection.. you’re all under surveillance la” – overheard this statement from a friend. Zewt can decipher the deep meaning or not?

There’s no comparison between the olden days luxuries and present day luxuries; it would be whether one is content with all they have and gained physically. I’m as happy hammering nail on tree house or sitting down playing new gadgets as technology advanced.

I have ultra freedom to do what I want to do growing up, my old man say I have good foundation wor; they force me to read/attend/learn; “Di Zi Gui”, dharma class, church boot camp, martial art class etc etc.. . those are real mental luxury too.. something which a lot of younger generations do no have or do.

Perhaps someone in all their caring and concern nurture forgets to plant a seed deep enough, before watering them.

Angie Tan said...

There's no harm for parents to give gifts to their kids but let's not go overboard by buying them PSP, PS3, LCD TV and etc... Get something of use and let the kid know the value of $$$.

I've known parents who constantly bribe their kids to study, eat, sleep or etc. I remember my parents telling me about their childhood - how hard it was but also, how uncomplicated it was back then.

I agree with you that it's bad when kids start to brag about how spoilt they are and how great mummy/daddy is for giving them this and that. But do they know that Mummy/Daddy slaved all day to give them the best?

I still remember once I asked my mom to buy a new book. She said, she will buy, provided I can stand in front of her, recite every single story in the last book I read. The moral of the story was, she wanted to make sure that I got the best use out of that book she got for me.

The worrying part is that some youngsters are unaware of the financial burdens their parents carry. There was once I met this uni mate who was almost in tears when she said that she had to find a way to stay in Australia when her father lost almost everything in the '97 crisis. She was well off with a car and etc then.

It is the duty of parents and elders to impart such financial knowledge especially in times like this with the credit crunch and impending personal credit fallout when folks can't pay off their credit card debt. (-__-)

day-dreamer said...

I'm glad that I wasn't raised ala the spoilt way. Well, at least not so. =X

Jed Yoong said...

i think u r just jealous and a bit envious. it's up to ppl how they want to bring up their children and just 'cos u had a different childhood, path doesn't mean your life should be a model.

Anonymous said...

4 those who said
'its their $ its their choice'
go jiak sai lar !

u dun live as individual, u live as a community, u cant take wat u encounter/see, u voice out. if the voices r overwelming, rules or i shall say guidelines r formed. dis is how social order evolved/maintained.

if u r supporting the earth go burst 1 day or end up like Wall-E, keep on contributing to this luxury-turn-need trend.

back to the issue, aside frm their treat-money-like-water attitude, i think it's oso attributed by their typical tidak-apa attitude, the less-responsibility age lv and increasingly self-oriented trend.

i mean how many of them know abt financial planning, think abt financial freedom for the family, worry abt $ issues 4 future acccident/incidences

erm said...

when i was young money come easily...for food...but for gadget...i have to earn it

when i was standard 2...i still remember vividly....i count 100 notes...for 20k or 10k

then i dont bother about money anymore

i dont think zewt is jealous...he has a point...and a good one

Kimmy said...

When my mum was a child, her mum would say I don't have such privilege like you have now.
Now my mum says the same thing like how her mum told her.
I reckon i gonna say the same thing to my kids next time. I do see some kids got pampered to the bone and it erks me. Perhaps there are ones who are proud to spoil their kids too.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jed Yoong, let me guess, you are still asking money from your parents. Right? Still recall a story from a friend who studied in United States. People from overseas are consider bum as we still feed off our parents for tuition fees and living expenses for our uni days. By the age of 18, one have to either survive on scholarship or work part-time to meet ends in United States. The rest are considered bum of the higher society. So be glad you have Malaysian parents who pampered for all your needs.

Klaw said...

Some of the comments are starting to really be senseless, since it's starting to be more an argument about class differences.

We should be looking at this at an attitude viewpoint.

If you're rich, and you get things, but you are thankful for it, and generally not wasteful, then there's no attitude problem.
If you're rich, and you constantly demand things, then it's an attitude problem.

If you're poor, and you strive to make your life better for yourself, then that's a good attitude. If you're poor, and you resent the rich for being able to spend more than you, and do nothing to improve your own lot, then that's an attitude problem.

My point is, spoilt rich kids are one a many, but rich kids who know the value of money are plenty as well.

vegemaster said...

In the end, it all comes down to "wants" and "needs"

However IMO, if a child is ever pampered till that stage, he is 99% Screwed.

I dont see a chance for him to repent at all. Nil! Cause if he has already been exposed to so much materialistic items, how can he ever know how to treasure them..

This is when the 1% comes in which he loses everything and turns into a beggar. Then only will he repent.

If not, dont even bother telling me he will know his mistakes.. Thats Bullshit.

PurpLe~MuShRooM said...

Come to china and see the kids here. The one child policy made them selfish, spoilt, naughty, unbearable, self-centered. And they are damn loaded because all the money from previous generation all goes to them! Are they just lucky, or what?

Anonymous said...

Time has changed. It's perfectly okay to reward kids for their hard work in this generation.

Those kiddos you had mentioned in your post are those who came from families that didn't set the right values in them. Values don't come in material forms alone. Values come in many forms too.

Back then, things were much simpler compared to now. Only the wealthy ones get to have Amahs. Now.., maids are easily available. So.., do you see the diff in generations??? But the most important thing is to teach the right value to the next generation. And boy, it's hard work, I tell you! Wait till you become a Dad and you will see things in different lights. Thank you for this lovely article. Best regards:)

Yin said...

Well say Klaw.

Some thoughts here seem to be resent towards those kids who are enjoying those luxury which they deem it being overboard..so having psp is too much? just because we never had those in the past?
I admit there some kids are over spoilt, but it wasn't just solely on reason parents pampered them with stuff ..it's all about the parents instill the principle of values on having them and be thankful.
Each person have their own way teaching their kids, do not just jump into conclusion and label the kid as "bratty","spoil kid" just because they received "luxury" things.

myop101 said...

Actually, I don't mind at all if the younger generation are being spoiled with gadgets and such.

To me:

i) If they are supposed to be studying in class or doing homework, then they should concentrate and not distract others.

ii) They know the meaning of money and taught to learn how to budget. Afterall, if they are given a fixed allowance, they have to learn how to save to get it right?

iii) Any big purchases come with a price. For instance, painting the house, washing the car for one month, doing own laundry and such. In fact, if it is me, I would ask for a "biz" proposal on what value they can contribute to the household and how that would warrant buying the new handphone for them.

iv) Once they get it, they should let me check it out to see if i should get one...:P

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

I think your observations are true and are shared by many. I, for one, think that children need boudaries to grow. Many parents today seem to think the sky is the limit when it comes to giving their kids stuff!

I didn't and still don't. I had intended for my blog to be about matters like what you have been blogging about, long before I discovered yours! But circumstances have changed that, albeit temporarily.

I will put down my two sen worth eventually.

:)

Anonymous said...

Jealous and envious? Easy for Jed Yoong to say when she's pampered and spoilt herself. Do you think zewt cannot afford it? Stupid woman like her should just shut the fuck up. 30 years old already but acts like stupid 13 year old.

pinknpurplelizard said...

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Its not nice and its hard to be viewed as the bad guy when one disciplines their child.

It will be your own undoing when in future this BRAT grows up to be a selfish nuisance. This is when parents regret and by then its too late.

I feel that al of us should know our cultural heritage. Its ur identity and you should be proud about it!

Huei said...

hahahah i really enjoy reading the comments here.

to those who disagree, have you even stopped to check why such issue was brought out by zewt? spoilt or not, it is up to parents to teach their child

but they do not have the rights to say that "People don’t appreciate fuel price cut" when they do not completely understand the situation. fuel prices have gone down, but the hike caused everything to inflate, and prices are still sky high. back in those days "cina teh ais" was only 30 cents, now they are at LEAST 50 cents. i remember those days where i can order a fair portion of food for only rm3.50, now you have to pay rm3.50 for a piece of chicken and some rice.

what about the fuel prices of malaysia vs. other fuel producing countries?

fine, don't "subsidize" us, do what you promise, improve the public transport, but do YOU see any improvements? heck you'll be lucky if u can find taxi drivers who will agree to use the meter!

is the kid who wrote "People don’t appreciate fuel price cut" even aware of such things before writing that???

Kellaw said...

it will never end. enough said lol. my dad tells me how fortunate i am and i tell that to my bro too. lol

keeps the ball rolling ma

CiNDi said...

Dear Miss Huei

Are you seriously that angry with us young ones? First you said that it was funny that we stand our ground to fight ignorant people like you, and now you wonder if we are aware of the fuel price appreciation yak yak yak.

Now what really happen that got you so beefed? Did we cripple the world economy with our spendings? I didn't know that every little item not important to the stock markets are actually essential to investors?

And that comparison of food prices. Oh sheesh. Seriously, do you want us to stop Eating for your sake of price reduction?

Whether the price rised or not, we STILL need to eat! You made us sound like we have metal stomachs that we laughed while you grimaced because we just made the food price go up.

Get REAL! The stock market players are the ones to spoil the kids. Scold them for throwing their next TWO generations into agony.

OR is it because of what Zewt said, you people have "respect" for the older generation that you couldn't BEAR to correct their mistakes and instead throw all YOUR agony and blame towards the young ones?

If these people are ignorant, they would have woke up and smell the roses because Zewt has just dedicated TIGA blog posts just so that we get the message.

I got the message loud and clear WAY before I need to even read your blog post, Zewt.

You asked "And if some of you claim that you respect and look up to us working class people, shouldn’t you pause and ponder why we take a sweep at you?"

The answer is simple, blatant and cruel.

You are all sour grapes you people from the Yuppies and Generation X eras.

Grow up or get matured, before I lost even that slightest respect for your generation.

Again, the definition of respect is:

deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.

So in a way, I respect your generation, but I DON'T HAVE to like your generation.

Just say that you don't like us already because all the luxuries in the world just happen to pour in when we are born. Sheesh. Don't be so uptight.

It's not like the adults cannot play Ipods or PSPs while taking a small sip of slurpee while looking fat and round.

Really.

Cheers

kyh said...

Urrggh hate those spoilt brats. Most of them have no manners at all.

Rin said...

zewt, you know "those who are obviously spoilt, oblivious to the current financial crisis, only know how to spend luxury goods, do not know the value of money and certainly those who don’t need to lift a single finger and money will just drop on their lap" that you all were condemning, probably don't read your blog anyway since I think they don't even touch the newspapers. ;)

So yeah, continue to blast at them though none of them will know anything about it. =P

AngryYoungChild said...

I agree with KLAW's comment. lol.

spoiling your child is not wrong. But just as long as your child knows not to take advantage of the luxury he/she has.

pavlova said...

zewt, just to say i support you.
and sad to say, from the comments i've read, i can see some arrogance, naivity in some of our fellow malaysians.

i've got no words for them, but i do concur with what you say here. maybe other people have different values than ours. but i think the test will be when tough times hit us, how do each and everyone of us get out of it.

bear in mind, malaysia "still isn't in recession" yet, how much of that is true we don't know.

Huei said...

hi cindi..i never said i was angry at you youngsters..i just wrote about the student who wrote that article

as for being spoilt or not..it has really nothing to do with me. anyway zewt was referring to those non income makers..and clearly u do not fall into that category, so why so sensitive?

CK said...

zewt,
gd luck when u become parents one day. i saw in many instances my friends who said they will never pamper their kids succumbed to it unconsciously.

zewt said...

missironic - sigh... kids are just so fortunate. i guess we can only call them fortunate as calling them pampered means we are jealous...

huei - dont worry about them being spoint, i have a feeling they will grow up and have a surprise! haha... eh, you can speak canto right? that's good enough. if not, i am also teruk haha... anyway, about fuel price, i am actually in support of a floating system, we cant be living on subsidy all the time. hey, less traffic jam leh. now with petrol 1.90... aiyooo... sit till my ass also blossom already in the jam.

Aoki - yes, seems like ppl are beginning to say i am jealous that's why i am writing these thigns. i guess i am jealous when i write about big companies, jealous of their pay... i guess i am jealous when i write about govt, jealous of their power... sigh...

constantly craving joe - haha... so you're now facing the music eh. i am sure you know the value of money now having worked in ... hehe...

Alex Yap - i am not upset at all. i just have a zewtpinion about it :) ... yes, kids are not made to only look at the screen. another evil device in the market is the wii, with it, i think kids will not be playing any outdoor games anymore.

Johnson Tee - i agree that some things with are luxury at our times (certainly our times cos its' very accurate haha) are necessities now. however, there are things which are clearly luxury, period. toys may be a necessities to some, but buying a toy 3 times a week or more, and that the child is capable of demanding for toys at the age of 2... that's no longer necessities. that's... overly loved.

zewt said...

taxy - if envy is the notion, then many things can no longer be uttered. having said that... am i envious that my peers can have game and watch and i couldnt get one when i was young? HELL YES! hahaha... but am i envious that at my age, others can afford things i couldnt? No... cos so long as one is earning the money himself/herself, i think that's perfectly fine. but not when one has not earn and is proud that one do not earn but still spend.

seaqueen - so you're saying, the progression should be moderated eh?

anthraxxxx - damn right, and we will grow to become like ppl in wall-e... physically.

-=Sin=- - wahhh... surveillance and protection... kinda the same. cos the reason why you do surveillance ... is to ensure protection right? :P ... dont quite get your seed part though.

Angie Tan - i think what your mom did to you was really wonderful, a true example to all parents. yeah, all these PSPs and PS3s and all.... i told myself i will NEVER buy these kinda thing for my kids. my kids will follow me to the pool if they wanna swim, to the court they wanna play, to the field if they wanna run. join the army if they wanna shoot some stuff.

day-dreamer - good for you :)

zewt said...

Jed Yoong - never did i say my life is a model. while i was jealous of my friends when i was young, i am not at all jealous now of anyone, not at all.

anon 3/12 2.14pm - i particularly like your luxury-turn-need terminology. it's a worrying trend and a lot of ppl are contributing to it. let those who are aware of the danger see it and do something about it. and again, that's why i love to see the recession comes, even if i am going to suffer along, cos i think it's time for some ppl to learn some life lessons.

erm - wow... you already made it at standard 2 eh? :) thanks for your support.

Kimmy - that's why... generation condemnation.

Anon 3/12 5.11pm - hmmm... you seemed to know some insider info eh? :) if one is already a working adult and still asking money from their parents... oh well, i guess that's what chinese say... tong yan em tong meng, tong jei em tong peng. get it?

Klaw - well said. there are indeed many rich kids out there who are aware of what's going on and are vigilant about things and down to earth. like you said... things get messy when bad attitude comes in.

vegemaster - hahaha.. again, that's comment has got vegemaster written all over it. 1%... i will give it 10% lah.

zewt said...

purple mushroom - perhaps only in shanghai. those in the poorer regions (which are plenty by the way)... are suffering.

anon @ 3/12 10.02pm - yes, it's ok to reward kids for their "hard work"... with the focus on "hard work" :) ... yes, i am painfully aware of the tremendous responsibility of being a father... but i am looking forward to it.

Yin - i guess it all bogs down to the parents and how they bring up their kids. well, at the end of the day, the kids are the one who will grow up and face the cruel world. life is fair... i believe.

myop101 - i like your number iii, as for your number iv.... hahahaha... you want a toy car ah?

estrelita soliano grosse - well, will be interesting to hear what you have to say... :)

Anon 4/12 11.00am - hmmm... thanks for the support...

pinknpurplelizard - absolutely, we must not lose our values.

zewt said...

Kellaw - wow... so you fall into the dark side very early eh :)

CiNDi - i will not comment on what you said to huei but i think you have gotten too uptight as well. and please note that just because you had a tough time when you were a kid and you have to work and make a living at a very young age doesnt mean you are a hero and you represent your entire generation thus removing the right for our generation to tell your generation off. and that isnt exactly what we are doing either. and no, it's not the stock market players who are spoiling their kids. i have personally seen parents who dont even hold a job spoiling their kids to their skin. if you think we are making conclusion, arent you also making conclusion? and what's this thing about being sour grapes? i dont see anything that i need to feel sour about. and i hope i dont have to tell you why i dont need to be sour lest ppl will say i am bragging. yes, adults can indulge on iPods and PSPs while sipping slurpee looking round and fat, but should they. while they have all their right to do it as they are probably spending their own money, i seriously hope ppl will realise that's very damaging for their health. there's actually more than a point in my TIGA blog posts, minimum 2, if one only manages to read one, that's a different story.

kyh - what to do... they dont even need to have manners to their parents sometimes... sigh...

Rin - hahahaha... come to think of it, you have a point. darn it... :P

AngryYoungChild - absolutely... it's all about attitude.

pavlova - thanks for your support. well, i like healthy debate anyway, so long as flaming and making claims are not in the picture. as for the recession, bank negara is already cutting rates, that's a clear sign of recession... do we want to live in denial?

CK - yeah... i know i know... when i become one, i need all the reminders i need from you guys ok. you guys must really knock some sense into me when the time comes :)... promise me ok!

CiNDi said...

Oh gosh, I think I did hurt your feelings abit didn't I? I was merely making conclusions based on what you blogged and what the commenters' feedback are like.

I think you are sorely mistaken, I ain't no hero. Heroes do not curse and swear. I do that often. I am merely a student who observes.

Heroes defend their clan. I merely point out facts from my generation that you could have missed out. Instead of appreciating the fact that I actually took my time to put a comment (while feeling stupid because I know it might not go through), now you are saying that I am removing the rights. Your generation's rights to be exact.

Haiyoh, what rights here privileges there? Ignore me la if I'm as delusional as how u rebuked. Why waste your time commenting?

You should ask (like how Rin asked you), why do I bother commenting time after time to make sure you and your readers don't see youngsters in such a bad light?

I could have stopped by now letting you think that I've finally shut up right?

My point, again and again, is that with this economy crisis, everyone suffers. The youngsters may not know because they are protected with wealth, but ah, that will depend on the parenting skills of each kid you know.

I bothered to comment is because while I find your points factual, accurate and spot-on, I'd like to place my disagreement.

I'd say sour grapes because your blog post sounded like an accusation towards the youngsters around, time and time again you keep asking "why why why why don't they listen?"

And should or shouldn't the adults waste their time acting like the fat kid you mentioned, that's up to them to decide. I'm merely pointing out that if they have a choice, abuse it. Kids can abuse their rights to be pampered, why can't adults?

If I have a choice, I'd still be the obnoxious arrogant princess who can spend while showing my middle finger to you.

Trust me, i've seen lots of those and you should have seen them.

But I'm not.

Maybe I'm the wrong person that you'd like to see commenting. You were expecting that because I have had tough times I'm able to look at things your way. (maybe)

I do, but I'm still a youngster.

I've done ALL I could. I still need to study and prepare for my internship (haha, im working for real soon kay? will let you know how I feel)

Maybe I'll do my other part and give non-income earners who probably never lay a finger to read and comment in your blog, maybe you'll get something out of it. But seriously at this stage? Most of my friends worked d.

So tata lah, keep blogging and I'll be reading it anyway.

And I'm really sorry if my comments are too damaging. My boyfriend was wondering if I'll create a collateral damage on your blog.

Then again, if there are hard feelings on the internet, the world would be at war by now.

And again, none of my previous comments have been personal, I was merely targetting what you have posted on your blog and in this comment.

If the blog and comments + ideas represent you personally, then I should just say sorry, go on and blog.

Cheers.

JustJasmine said...

Some parents shower the kids with material things to replace quality time.

I think I'm not spoiled but I'm pampered. :P

kyliemc said...

yaya...kids nowadays are really lucky til sometimes i pity them. coz when we talk bout how nice it was to play with sand, chasing each other in the parks,etc. can you believe that some kids nowadays are not even allowed to run in the park for fear of getting hurt or being kidnapped.

i agree that some kids are such a spoil brat and even during work, they will demand for an upper class treatment. for goodness sake, you may be a prince or princess at home but at work, your status will be the same as others.

hahaha..actually i feel that if you wanna brag bout the designers stuff that you buy recently, better make sure they are bought using your own hard-earned money. that's when you can be really proud of yourself. not coz of using parents' hard-earned money

myop101 said...

haha... i doubt they will target toy cars la...

gina said...

Kids nowadays are spoilt rotten to the core. I already have problems with people who were 5 or 10 years younger than me who drove a Honda Civic to work. I still remember I need to take the bus when I first started work. Anyway, times are different now as security is no more the same.

We cannot be pin pointing parents on spoiling their kids with toys and gadgets to keep them interested at home.. and not allow them to roam free like we did when we were children.

Remember when we get to cycle around the neighbourhood playing "bang bang" or a game of rounders with neighbourhood kids in the field.. and the best part, get to play masak-masak with REAL fire! Haha!

Anonymous said...

i think there is some truth when they say chinese wealth will never pass down to three generation.
Grandparent = work like dog
parent = continue to proper
children = enjoy the benefit without every wondering how the wealth comes about
grand children = doom....
great grand children = start over again (work like dog)
Lesson - Never earn too much until your next generation is too lax.
Family time can never replace with all the wealth you obtain.
Live the life you wants and not based on how other people comment and view you.
Have a nice day.

zewt said...

CiNDi - if my points are factual, how can one disagree? and yes... when you work, would love to read about your working experience.

Just Jasmine - so your parents are trying to replace quality time with material things eh?

kyliemc - love your last para, which is the very point i am trying to say in the past week. bragging rights only belong those who slog... or so i think.

myop101 - yeah, toy cars... things of the past eh...

gina - haha... eh, one thing though, i was never allowed to roam around as i stayed in a notorious neighbourhood. honda civic to work, well, at least it's not a BM...

Anon @ 9/12 11.45am - very good point... thus the chinese term... "bai kah jai".

Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy said...

Hey hey...you know...I'm an only child. Obviously not a parent. So I speak from that perspective. Most people I meet upon finding out that I'm only child always say "wow, you must have been spoilt." All I can say is, I don't know. After all, I never knew any different. I do not deny I was blessed and wanted for nothing. But is that the same as spoilt? And the automatic judgement, be it in half jest, can get quite irritating and abrasive after a while. I think there is also such a thing as reverse snobbery when people start talking about how hard they had it and how much better they feel than other people who were perhaps more privileged. All I'll say is who cares at this point? It's what you do with your life and what you leave behind in terms of how people remember you that counts. Not some over cliched categorisation of someone who perhaps was blessed through no fault of their own. I'm glad that I had what many would consider a silver spoon. Am I proud of it? I don't know. I don't know any different and have nothing to compare it with. Why would "you"(in the general larger sense) then hold it against me?

zewt said...

alan & nigel - i think the problem comes when we apply our standards and values on other people. i think that's when things get blur and comments start coming in. whether a child is loved, spoilt or pampered, it will always fall on the different interpretation of different individuals.

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