Sunday, 31 May 2009

A thought while terminating

I watched Terminator Salvation last Friday. Oh no, this is not a movie review type of post. I don’t think I want to go down the movie critic route. Would rather go down the movie-audience critic path though this post isn’t exactly that either.

Ya’ know, it can be quite cool for some to be fighting machines in funky looking guns and travelling around in hi-tech planes. To the adventurous, fighting machines would certainly be quite an experience. Certainly, many would not enjoy the limited food and constant death that comes with it. And… did I mention no time to laze around and surf the net?

But amidst all that, a thought came to me…

I would imagine that if scenario like Terminator Salvation becomes a reality, it would also be a time where we will see each other in a totally different light.

It would be time where regardless of whether you are educated, illiterate, superbly gifted or hopelessly talent-less, so long as you are willing to fight, you will be taken in as comrades. And since survival depends on the fight, you will most probably… fight.

It would be a time where regardless of whether you look like a hunk (for guys) or like a supermodel (for girls), you are only as good as your courage to hold a gun to face the machines.

It would be a time where regardless of whether you are rich or poor, food will be made available to you because generally, no one wants you dead. Having you alive means an additional man to fight.

It would be a time where regardless of whether you are rich or poor, medical assistance will be given to you because, again, generally no one wants you dead for quite the same reason mentioned above.

It would be a time where regardless of whether you are American, European, Japanese, Chinese, Malays or Indians, you will always be seen as a compatriot, a fellow human, fighting for survival.

But of course, we don’t have Skynet and machines killing us so… we will continue to live our lives according to our differences.


1 year ago…
Ask before you hump

2 years ago… What they’ll do to say I doYou are the reasonThe block resulted in 3 laws

Thursday, 28 May 2009

A cookoo Swine Flu video

I have actually drafted something for today but after viewing one video forwarded to me by my friend, I can't help but put that draft on hold.

I think this video is quite hilarious, very witty lyrics and in line with the current phase 5 alert.

In case you want to see the original music video, it's
here. Otherwise... enjoy...




1 year ago... Some things don't evolve

Have a lovely weekend.

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

She just couldn’t see it

This incident happened to me in late 2003…

I was playing badminton and I had to take a dive to retrieve a smash. My right ankle gave way and I heard a crack. Being a gung-ho person I am, I got up and continued the game. I was actually surprised that I felt not much pain at my ankle. But as I continued my game, there came a very sharp pain somewhere around the metatarsal area. It was then that I stopped.

I managed to drive home despite the pain and as the day progressed, the pain became quite unbearable. The next day, someone took me to the hospital. It was Sunday and I reckoned most of the private hospitals will either be closed or less doctors so I decided to head to University Hospital in PJ. Part of the reason was also because I wanted to save money, not a very rich person I am.

After doing all the necessary registration and a brief explanation to the nurse, I was told to get an x-ray. I think I waited for an hour before the doctor saw me and it went something like this…

“Kenapa ni? Main bola?”
“Bukan. Main badminton”
She put the x-ray film on the panel and gave it a good stare.
“Ahh, takde apa-apa lah. Semua ok, saya bandage saja lah”
“Ok”

The mere touch of the bandage on my foot intensified the pain and she could see it from my facial expression. And again, she looked at my x-ray film.

“Takde apa-apa pun. Mungkin cedera otot”
“Jadi macam mana?”
“Saya hantar jumpa specialist lah”


She sent me to the orthopaedic department where another doctor greeted me. From the brief information with him, I got to know that he was from Nigeria and is currently doing his Masters in the hospital. So technically speaking, he is not a specialist yet.

He read the diagnosis from the previous doctor and asked me to do certain movement with my foot. He then asked me to show him the x-ray. He looked at the film for 3 seconds and said…

“There is a crack in your bone”
“What? The other doctor said I was ok!”
“No, you have a crack. Look here, a hairline fracture”


It was there. Me who is not a doctor saw it, a good 2 inches fracture of my right metatarsal bone. Sounds like a professional injury eh? The Nigerian doctor saw it in 3 seconds. The other “takde apa-apa pun” doctor stared at the film for more than 1 minute accumulatively and saw nothing.

I am sure some of you would have your own experience or heard of stories of doctors in public hospital. That was my version. And I am glad it was just a misdiagnosed of a tiny fracture.

P/S: Have you voted your
best Zewt Laugh yet?

Non-civic minded smokers like these are morons

I was at a nearby rojak store a few weeks ago. It was one of those by the roadside where you walk up to the rojak seller to place your order. As I was standing next to the store waiting for my take-away to be ready, came a man holding a cigarette.

He walked up to the rojak seller and just as he was about to place his order, he took in a deep suck on his cig. He then stuck his head into the store where all the rojak stuff were and blew his cig smoke into food. Then he said… “Saya mau ini dan ini saja”.

And just when you thought that was irritating, he took in another deep suck, stuck his head into the store, blew his smoke into the food stuff and then said… “Ini saya mau lebih”. He actually wanted to do it again but the rojak seller told him off by saying… “Boleh buang asap rokok lain tempat kah?”

Another one…

Was at this coffee shop for lunch. Inside this coffee shop are standing fans to keep the patrons cool. There was this guy seated at the table next to the fan. After his meal, he lit up his cig. He then rested his elbow on his table with his fore-arm vertically up, showing the world cig holding hand. He kept dusting his cig and just as the fan blew to his direction, his cig ashes flew all over the place.

Well, you might want to give him the benefit of the doubt as he might be unaware with it. You are wrong!!! Just then, his friends uttered…
“Oi, lei dit yin fui fei jo yan dei goh do ah” (Your cig ash flew to other people’s place)
And that bastard replied…
“Kuan kau ngo meh si?” (It doesn’t f*cking concern me).

Apart from the 2 mentioned above, I have also encountered those who would take in deep suck just before entering an elevator and then release his smoke into the elevator cabin after the door is closed. When everyone in the elevator stare at him, the idiot will just look away. And of course, I also despise those who smoke in a sports complex like a badminton or futsal hall. These people are just pure brainless.

Non-smokers cannot ask smokers to move away in restaurants because the stupid rules state that smoking area can be located right next to the non-smoking area without having any barrier. Certainly, coffee shop is out of the question. Non-smokers can’t help but be second hand smokers when patronising bars or clubs because our country do not have non-smoking bars/clubs rules.

Indeed, we cannot discriminate someone just because that someone is a smoker. But for goodness sake, some form of civic mindedness. Non-civic minded smokers, like the 2 mentioned above, are really morons we can do without, don’t you think?

P/S: Have you voted your best Zewt Laugh yet?

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Medicine time line

Came back from Singapore with fever, sore throat, running nose and headache. For a while, I thought I was having swine flu. But the doc said I didn’t really have the symptoms and asked me to rest. He gave me 2 days of MC and quite an amount of medication.

The medication completely knocked me out yesterday and I think I have been sleeping for the last 24 hours, waking up somewhere in between to take my medication before hitting the bed again. The medication given to me has to be taken in different intervals, some twice a day, some 3 times a day and there was one I have to take 4 times a day.

I am curious, is there a universal timing in taking medication? My Mom used to give me these guidelines…
4 times a day = every 4 hour
3 times a day = every 6 hour
2 times a day = after waking up & before sleep

Do you have a specific medicine time line? Should there be one?

I think the medication is kicking in, I am hitting the bed again…


1 year ago…
V for virginity, P for purityBe generous yet wise

2 years ago… A homicide solved with a funny face

Sunday, 24 May 2009

One down, a few more to go...

This is probably one of those “hey, look what I did” kind of entry. Over the weekend, I had one of my dreams fulfilled…










































Singing a jazz piece together with a 3-piece band.



Next dream to be fulfilled… play together with a 3-piece band.

P/S: Have you voted your best Zewt Laugh yet??????

1 year ago…
The young begins to humpThis is why the young humps

2 years ago… Of selling and barking

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Vote your best Zewt Laugh

I have put up a few of my so called "deep and thought provoking" entries and have asked for votes to see which are the most popular ones. The results are shown on the side bar, the so called Top 5.

I just ran through my archieves on my more humourous entries and have selected quite a few. Since I will be away in Singapore till the end of the week, perhaps this is a good time to get you people to vote on which are the good "Zewt Laugh" entries. You have a few days to laugh... and vote...

Do you have sweaty chest?

Ask before you hump

From shitty good news to gym to a penis song

One night on a wrong stand
(Warning: Some find this offensive)

Keywords splendour

More keywords splendour

Henry Suckers and the 4 schools of magic

A locker tale

Those typo experiences

Of hip-hop to diet and a search

The block resulted in 3 laws

The Chronicles of holes and poles

you have 4 votes each... Happy laughing ang voting!

Monday, 18 May 2009

The principal that was

I remember the time when I was about to enter high secondary school. At that time, everyone was given the impression that we will be in for a tough time. No, it was not due to the new academic requirement. It was something else.

At that time, the principal of the secondary school was known to be a tough no-nonsense person. He was one who can be seen carrying the mighty sword a.k.a. the “rotan” whenever he did his patrol around the school. One can say that he ruled the school with an iron fist, or should I say… iron “rotan”, metaphorically speaking of course.

If you happen to be breaking school rules; and there were plenty by the way, and he happened to bump into you, your ass will immediately feel the fury.

His strict discipline regime was legendary. Besides successfully eradicating the rampant gangsterism in my school, he also transformed my school into a top STPM institution during his days. Other rules which student used to hate include the ever strict hair regulations. Students coming to school with long hair will probably go home wishing they were bald.

Oh yes, and who can forget the dreaded public caning. Speaking of caning, he instilled a peculiar culture into us. In other schools where public caning was practised, the victim will probably have to say “Sorry sir” after being punished. Not in my school though.

After administering the usual heavy dose of stinging feeling to the ass, the owner of that poor ass is to acknowledge the favour rendered to him by offering his gratitude. The words one must utter after the ordeal was not “Sorry sir” but rather… “Thank you sir”. I don’t know whether he reciprocates with a “You’re welcome” because I never got to “thank” him.

As they say… those were the days. Many feared him, more hated him. Most could not understand why he was so tough on us. I am very sure kids nowadays will never go through secondary school like I did.

But ya’ know what?

One day, I saw a peculiar name in the “people you might know” function in facebook. Wow! My ex-principal has a facebook account! Naturally, I added him. I also left a message on his facebook wall telling him the year I left school and how I was getting on with life. It was then that I began to read other messages on his wall…

Surprise would probably not be the right word to describe the feeling. There were messages after messages of former students, talking about how his strict regime has transformed their lives. Some talked about how they were forced out of gangsterism and are now reaping the rewards. Some talked about how they hated him but they now cherish the time when he was the principal. Some say they will never be who they are now if not because their ass-es have felt the fury of the “sword”.

I truly believe that no one who has gone through my secondary school will deny that Mr. Loh Kung Sing is a true educationist. Regardless of whether his cane has landed on our bottoms, students of my school will forever say… “Thank you, sir”.


1 year ago…
When cost is not an issue

2 years ago… “Sam Jiu”A professional mistakeDo you know why?

Thursday, 14 May 2009

No sea pee please

This story was relayed to me by my university mate. It was a story according to him but of course, I am not able to verify it.

This mate of mine was, and is still very much a fishing enthusiast. He has a friend who owns a yacht and they head out to the sea regularly for their fishing adventure. Usually, there will be a bunch of them who will head out to the sea together. They have been mates together for a long time and tend to do crazy things and will laugh out loud together at each other

With so many trips out at sea; my mate certain had plenty of stories to tell. Some of them could be quite scary, but there was this particular one which left quite an impression.

One day, my mate’s friend (let’s call him Vee) needed to answer nature’s call. At the same time, another person was using the toilet. The person using the toilet at that moment appeared to be experiencing severe diarrhoea and was literally hogging the toilet.

They say men tend to have poor bladder muscle and I tend to agree. With the toilet hogged, Vee was feeling urge of nature’s call to difficult to withstand. As the yacht was in the middle of nowhere, Vee reckoned it was perfectly fine to relief himself into the big ocean surrounding him.

And of course, he did just that…

While at it, his friends (including my uni-mate) sighted Vee’s action and started making comments. Vee, being a sporting person, started posing in various positions while still relieving himself. Yes, it was very a full ladder. Just then… something happened…











There was a big splash of water…














No, Vee didn’t fell into the water…

























According to my uni-mate, something jumped up from the water and……… Vee’s balls became its lunch…

What happened after that was very bloodied. So, whatever you do this weekend, never pee into the sea…


1 year ago…
Your say

2 years ago… With or without a reason

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Am I being overly subtle?

I have always derived much pleasure from subtle writing, instances where I am able to hide my message within a vanilla piece of writing. Someone commented that it’s like “Gak san dau ngau”, directly translated as “mountain blocked bull fight”. It means the real issue concealed behind a fa├žade. Gak-san-dau-ngau then implies that you must see beyond the mountain in order to see the bull fight, i.e. the real issue.

Regrettably, I am beginning to wonder whether I am being overly subtle. I wonder if I am putting up a mountain so big, that the enticement of the bull fight is overlooked. Or perhaps people would rather see the beautiful scenery of the mountain, than to indulge in a bloody bull fight.

See, the above two paragraph are akin to putting up mountain already… I seriously need to be more direct…

So yeah,
The Jacke Story I put up yesterday was not about money or people being lavish by having 3 maids or medical check up being important. It’s about whether you think like Jacke, believing that you can entirely distant yourself from the ruckus.

What ruckus? Well, you should read
The Jacke Story. I cannot be removing the mountain entirely.


2 years ago…
Speaking from the other sideThings can be spiritual

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

The Jacke story

Jacke was someone who just wants to live his own life. Just like many others, he was not interested in politics. Even the simple task of casting vote was meaningless to him. “I don’t care, it just doesn’t concern me” was his usual response.

And no one can really blame him. Jacke worked hard and has truly established himself. He was drawing a very comfortable salary, married to a wonderful wife and blessed with 2 kids. He was oblivious to happenings around him as he thought he will be able to solve all the problems with his financial prowess.

Lack of quality in national schools was not a concern as he can afford to send his kids to private school. Poor medical service at national hospitals was not a concern as he can afford private medical care. Poor quality in tertiary education or even restricted opportunity to enter local tertiary education was not a concern; his children will enter overseas universities. High crime rate was not a concern as he can afford sophisticated security systems and even a few bodyguards.

As the saying goes… if a problem can be solved by money, it’s not a problem. And since Jacke has enough money -- What’s the problem? So no, all the social and political stuff is of no interest to Jacke.

In fact, Jacke even took advantage of the poor governance in the system. Jacke had with him not one, not two, but three maids! As some of you may know, one family is only allowed 1 maid. But that problem was conveniently solved with money. 1 for the wife, and the others for each of Jacke’s children.

Life was bliss, who cares about the ruckus of politics and deteriorating condition all over? Really?

Due to a certain requirement for something Jacke was applying, his family was asked to undergo medical examination. Imagine the horror of Jacke’s face when the test showed one of his children was infected with “a deadly virus”, one which is without cure.

Detailed investigation showed that everyone is the family is clean except for the poor child. How can that be? It was then that Jacke asked 3 of his maids to undergo medical as well. Lo and behold, the very same maid who looks after that poor child has that deadly virus.

How did the maid contract the virus? She has a clean medical certification from the authorities as provided by the maid agency. She was relatively new and was never let out of the house. How did it happen?

As money can solve a lot of problems for Jacke, money can also help Jacke discover how the problem came about. Using a lot of money, Jacke found out that the maid agency he engaged never sent the maids for medical certification.

How did the maid obtain a clean medical certificate?... a combination of corruption plus poor governance. How so?... because those in authority are corrupted. How so?... because those in politics put them there. How come such people are allowed to be in politics?... because we have people like Jacke.

Jacke thought he can always stay away from the ruckus and as long as he has money, he will never suffer the consequences of a poor administration. He learned it the hard way. Now, Jacke’s son will probably only live to see Jacke cast his vote in 2 elections.

P/S: Seriously, send your maid your medical check up. Better be safe than sorry.


1 year ago…
A familiar pub noticeA note to Mom on a special day

2 years ago…
As mourning period endsLessons from death

Monday, 11 May 2009

Not just yet...

I guess it is already public knowledge that the High Court ruled that Nizar is the rightful MB. I can see the sheer joy exhibited by everyone in their respective facebook status update. But I think the early celebration may be mere premature.

The ruling states that Nizar is the rightful MB because there was absence of vote of no confidence against him. This simply means that if there is a vote of no confidence, he will still be forced to resign. I do not need to remind everyone that he WILL get a vote of no confidence in the next state seating.

While almost every Tom, Dick, Harry, Mary, Jean, Jane together with the Ahmad, Arumugam and Ah Kau hope that the Sultan will dissolve the state assembly, the Sultan might just ask Nizar to wait till the next state seating…


And even if the Sultan allows a fresh election, the results are not written on stone.
While we can all “masturbate” at such exotic news, don’t run into premature orgasm just yet…

Thursday, 7 May 2009

Masturbation

Ah yes, the big M word…


















































And you thought I was going to post a picture of … ? :P

Enjoy the weekend, but not in the manner of this post ok?!!


2 years ago…
Again, is it worth it?

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

What’s your law?

A simple hypothetical game was played in a small gathering. The question asked was…

“If you are given a chance to enact a law, what would it be?”

Of course, it must be a law which is reasonable; though reasonable can be very subjective. Moreover, the law must also be one where you will be able to adhere to. Amongst those being mentioned which might fall within your choice are:-

Motorcycles should be banned from the roads! --- Wow, rempit-free roads, how many of you want that?

Wednesday will be made a non-work weekday. --- can you imagine midweek is also a celebration besides weekend? What say you?

I am sure some of you are curious by now of the law that I will put in place if given the chance. I can’t be totally honest with the law, else I might be viewed as evil *grin*… Hence, I shall be a little noble…

I will make it illegal for anyone to “ta-pau” (take away / bungkus) without bringing their own container, punishable by a severe fine.

I definitely have no problem complying with it as I am already doing it. So what’s your law?


1 year ago…
A glimpse on my childhoodA new word, nephrologist

2 years ago…
Feeling sleepy?

Monday, 4 May 2009

An unexpected apology

As I was hopping through the channels yesterday, I landed myself on Astro Supersport where they were showing a live table tennis match. It was the quarter-final of the world championship between 2 Chinese players. Since I was trying to wait for the heater to do its job before I shower, I reckon I might as well watch it for a while.

Those who play racquet games will know that there are certain lucky shots that can happen which will gain you instant points. In the game of tennis and badminton, it’s when the tennis ball or shuttlecock hit the top of the net and lands just on your opponent’s court, leaving your opponent helpless. In the game of squash, it’s when the ball hits the corner of the wall where it will almost certainly not bounce for your opponent to return a shot.

In the game of table tennis, it’s when the ball hit the top of the net or when the ball lands itself at the edge of the able. In the latter, the opponent will not able to judge the awkward bounce thus unable to return the shot most of the time.

When lady luck is smiling at you during such shots, a player exhibiting sportsmanship will usually offer his/her apology to the opponent.

Back to the table tennis game I was watching… there was a shot by defending champion Wang LiQin of China which landed at the edge of the table of Chen Qi (also of China). Naturally, Chen Qi was unable to return the shot due to the awkward bounce of the ball. Just then, Wang LiQin shouted across the table…








































“Sorry! Sorry!”

Gee… isn’t it supposed to be “dui bu chi”? What’s wrong with these Cina-s?


1 year ago…
Saving the environment?

2 years ago… A kid at 6 and what is 5?

Sunday, 3 May 2009

Boleh-ness to the test

When the local dailies whose usual modus operandi is to tone down big stuff to avoid panic actually said that it could be as big as the one which killed 40 million, you know this is big. And I can't help but wonder how capable our govt in dealing with big things.

I am referring to the apparently imminent swine flu pandemic. The World Health Organisation has already
raised alert level to phase-5.

I sincerely hope that after spending thousands on a hammer, the govt did actually spent additional thousands on an appropriate thermal scanner. I sincerely hope that after millions being spent on building hospitals, they are actually ready if there is a real outbreak. More importantly, I sincerely hope that the authorities will not practise the usual “settle sini” culture when screening people at the border where RM100 can change give a person a clean bill of health.

If a pandemic does happen, I think it will truly be a big test for the govt. The “Malaysia Boleh” way of doing things, which can sometimes be a mockery to intelligence, may just be a matter of life and death in this situation.

Then again, I can just be over-dramatic here. But if I am right…


2 years go…
The chronicles of morons